w00t! a brief lull in the action though I've got to warn you guys, I've been writing ahead and there aren't many more pauses in between the evil - er, I mean, adventure. That said - on to my best beloveds! ps - I've had several readers mention Keystone/Key of the Ancients/Forgotten City/Temple of the Ancients - don't think about this too hard guys. Just trust me, its not the game universe and things are going to go a bit differently. But ya'll already knew that ;) Dis - I'm so glad you liked both my take on Reno and the mako pickling. I've been dying to write my theories on exactly what mako poisoning really is and tie in the distilled Lifestream and exactly what Lifestream really is and all that fun stuff and I'm glad it came across intelligently. I can always count on you to point out if something makes sense/needs more explanation. And yeah - well, Reno's Reno and he's not out of the game yet by any means. You're right about him, he's definitely aware of what he does and what it means. OCV - you're going to hate me when I post chapter 95 in a couple of weeks. And though I don't use the f-word often (save for Cid) there is a time and a place for it ;) Reno does tend to bring it out in people - lol. Is Cloud real or not? Well, that's kind of the question of the day, isn't it? I like exploring the concept of what makes Cloud Cloud. As for him trying to kill Zack at the beginning - well, how would you like running into someone pretending to be your dead best friend and working for the same guys that tortured and then killed him? Sometimes - Cloud reacts emotionally as much as he'd give me a flat look for saying so. and - little fangirl squee! - I'm glad you liked the 'our kids'. He's an all in or nothing kind of guy I suspect. mc - hee! more such kisses on the way. and I'm flattered by your trust in me. I'll do my best to see that the story is a fun ride and ends with satisfaction at its final stop. it was Zack that said that ;) Cloud's suspected for years that he's not real. Poor Zack is still dealing with just finding it out. I'm a mutual 'messes with my characters' kind of girl ;) Falynn - LOL - I love the way you phrase things with your 'sandwhich' examples. I laughed and nodded at the same time - so true, so true. Yeah, poor Cissnei. She's living with her choices now and that's not always easy. Especially when Cloud has decided she's more of a threat than a help to the people he's protecting. Kidnapping mom would do that to him though. He seems the aggressively protective type - can't imagine why. zi-ling! - how about we just party each and every time you get back? I think this crew can handle it. And whee! - someone caught the LoTRs reference. Couldn't resist. Reno will continue to be Reno ;) Akuma - you made me grin like an idiot. Hey, dude - if it works, why fight it? I'll happily supply cloti fluff :D and maybe we should see about picking you up a nail bat when we get where the team is headed. I think I can arrange it. jainre - yeah, poor Reno, he's so snarky and unapologetic and intentionally annoying. I seriously can't tell why everyone doesn't LOVE him! Actually he IS fun. I dont' get to write him as much as I'd like. Though I too am curious about what a team like Red and Vincent will end up doing. I didn't intend it, they just happened to be the only two left onboard the Highwind. :'D - I KNOW! I never meant the story to get this big but it just won't stop writing itself. It's kind of heady when I look at the number of chapters though. Reno is fun and Cloud will, one of these days I'm sure, stop doubting himself. Or not - lol. But at least he's moving forward. I think the avalanche started when he kissed Tifa the first time and its way too late for him to protest the ride now. Jini! - yes, Tifa will wrestle with the idea of Cissnei and come to her own conclusions. I think Cloud will help her work it out though ;) And - thank you. I don't like to write 'villians'. I prefer 'opposing viewpoints'. If I can make the Turks understandable whether they're actually likable or not, than I feel like I've done a good job. And, I think I'm in love with Aerith's mom - she's so much fun to write for the little bit I get to write her. writer - wow. Just... wow. I say that a lot in response to your reviews, don't I? I ADORE how you've psychoanalyzed my chapters. just - wow. demonegg - I'm going through withdrawal here, ya know! and w0ot! another point for the LoTRs reference. And, given the depth you give your characters, I'm amazingly flattered that you like what I do with mine. I do try to keep anyone from being one, or even two, dimensional. Which does, of course, include messing with Cloud's psyche (which is too much fun to resist anyway). 11tiggers!/Osiris's Consort/Lexi-yeesh - hey! welcome to the party! drinks are in the fridge and we might even have some leftover cake in there! Glad you're along for the ride. Hang on tight, after this week things start to speed up again. vanilla raindrops - lol - you too are going to hate me when I post chapter 95 in a few weeks. It'll be fun! and - I'll do my dangest to not disappoint ;) tell me if these next three will do for now. oceanee - I never, never, never tire of getting reviews but yours seriously make me glow like a small sunbeam for hours after I read them. The details, the details, how you feed my little writer's soul! Cloud's like that because they threatened what he loved/had under his protection. Because, the Turks do play dirty pool. And Zack wrote his own line about 'saving mom'. How he can surprise me with his unexpected darkness and make me chuckle at the same time I'm still not sure. I never knew Tifa and Aerith were going to end up as perfect for each other as friends as they did but I'm so glad they did and I'm glad you like the team up. And thank you - I couldn't imagine Tifa not having left over 'pettiness' concerning Cissnei at first either. and - wow - you even got me with your breif summary of Cloud's green. I actually felt my throat go tight and I wrote the darn thing! We'll both have to borrow him for huggings. As for Reno, I think Akuma would lend you a hard board with a nail in it if you wanted to join him in his chase of the Turks ;) vx-luna-xv - Tifa will deal with her Cissnei situation, never fear - lol. And I'm glad you felt for Cloud. I don't think most people realize how very bad what he went through really was. And speaking of which...
Chapter 84: Black as Ink
Cloud didn't say anything after his confession and Tifa didn't offer words. She wouldn't have known what to say anyway. He'd just given her a dark, buried part of himself and she didn't think he'd done it to hear her try to lie and pretend she could make it better with words. Words weren't a Lockhart strength anyway though and so she showed him without words what she wanted him to know. She held him, body tucked in and around his and stroked his hair and laid soft, quiet kisses against his face and eventually he fell asleep, drained by what he'd revealed and she followed shortly afterward, tumbling down into a darkness that glowed green in her dreams and held whispering voices that belonged to all the people that had died in the mako reactor.
When she woke up in the morning, Cloud was gone.
Tifa sat up slowly and pushed the hair out of her face. She really was going to have to get a haircut soon. Zack was still sleeping on the top bunk, sprawled out with one arm hanging over the edge of it and her siblings were sleeping in the bunk under him. Aerith was already gone though and Tifa inhaled and stretched before slipping out of bed and finding her shoes. Out of ingrained habit, she made the bed and as she pulled the sheet back to smooth it out she noticed a small black stain on the fitted sheet of the bed up near the pillow. Curious she touched it but it was dry and she frowned mildly, wondering for the first time how sheets – and clothes for that matter – got washed onboard the Highwind. She didn't remember stumbling across any laundry facilities. Maybe someone had spilled ink or something on the sheet and whatever wash it had been through hadn't been enough to get it out all the way. Tifa, with two rambunctious siblings of her own, understood that concept pretty well. Still, it reminded her of when her father had been sick and coughing up black on his very bad days and so she stripped down the bed and stole the clean smelling sheets off of another of the bunks to remake it, folding up the stained sheet and leaving it near the foot of the other bunk. She'd have to ask Shera where the dirty things went when she got the chance.
Zack might be sleeping but Tifa figured that her brother and sister were safe enough in his company. Zack might be a goof but he was a warrior too and she didn't think he'd sleep through anyone coming into the room that didn't belong. Gentle, she tucked the blanket back over Marlene and Denzel and then snuck out of the room before pausing outside to put her shoes on and lace them up. A quick stop in the bathroom to get ready for the day and then she headed to the kitchen.
Shera was there and had already started the coffee and Tifa was surprised to see Yuffie there as well, slumped over a table with her head in her arms. At her glance, Shera shrugged and offered a smile.
"She said she was sick of being sick. For some reason being around us while she's sick is supposed to be different?"
"S'variety," Yuffie managed, sounded groggy. "Gets ta puke inna diff'nt spot. Whee…"
It made Tifa laugh softly in sympathy and she walked over to rub the other girl's back. Yuffie made a helpless noise and whimpered:
"Leave my broth'r an' marry me instead?"
"I'll let you fight him for me when we land, how's that?" Tifa asked in amusement as she continued to rub the younger girl's back and Yuffie made a sound that was either laughter or agreement. Shera brought Tifa a cup of coffee and Tifa gave the other woman a smile.
"Maybe I'll leave them both for you," she told her gratefully as she took the cup in her other hand and closed her eyes to inhale it. Then she looked at the other woman.
"You look happy…"
Shera grinned and behind her glasses her eyes sparkled.
"Let's just say, I'm going to try to make Cloud's favorite breakfast today."
"Cloud's?" Tifa asked as Shera bustled back over to the kitchen area.
"He is the one that got the Captain to dance with me. Him and Aerith."
"They did, didn't they?" Tifa asked with a growing smile and Shera nodded and looked pleased and embarrassed at the same time.
"I haven't had that much fun in – oh, ages." The other woman put her hands to her cheeks in pleasure and beamed. "The Captain even forgot to be angry at me and actually smiled when we danced. Smiled at me!" She spun over to where the stove was and started pouring chunks of cubed potato into a pan. "I know it was only for one night and nothing's really changed but… it was such a wonderful night."
It made Tifa smile as well. She didn't think she'd ever seen the other woman so – carefree.
She was personally going to kick Cid's ass and hard if he ruined it.
"Yo, yo," the door opened and Reno walked in with a smile. "I hear there's breakfast around here but the hot chicks is a nice touch too."
Shera immediately turned away with a sniff.
"Dried oatmeal is in the cabinet," she informed him stiffly without turning to look at him. He appeared nonplussed and started for the kitchen but Tifa stepped away from Yuffie.
"Go sit down, Reno," she told him and he met her eyes in curiosity. "I'll get you something eat."
"You gonna spit in my food?" he asked suspiciously but he sat down at the same table Yuffie was hunched over and stretched out his long legs. Tifa just shook her head at him and went into the kitchen area. Shera gave her a questioning look but Tifa just shook her head again and poured an extra cup of coffee, adding the heaping spoonfuls of sugar that she knew Reno liked. Booze wasn't the only thing he'd stopped by her old bar to drink, despite his reputation. When she walked back and handed it to him he took it so that their hands touched and looked up at her. For once, his eyes were serious and so was his face.
"Thanks, Teef."
"I'm still going to kick your ass," she told him calmly. "And if you try anything, I'll kick it then too."
"Right," his smile was a half smile and he set the coffee on the table in front of him, watching her. And understanding. His eyes said he hadn't expected forgiveness but he did understand a truce. "'Cause it's just business, yo."
By the time the others arrived, Tifa and Shera had managed to cook up a pretty good breakfast considering the limited supplies. Everyone gave Reno a wide berth – except for Yuffie who was probably contemplating throwing up on him just for the fun of it and when Cissnei came in everyone ignored her as well. She ended up sitting at the table with Reno after getting her own cup of coffee.
Tifa felt bad for the Turks. She knew it couldn't be easy to be surrounded by people that were deliberately giving you the cold shoulder. Of course, a good way to avoid that would have been not kidnapping Elmyra and threatening Aerith too. Business might be business – but you lived with the consequences of your choices too.
Cloud, with a soldier's instinct, came in just as the food was being served and his smile was a little shy and young as he took his cup of coffee from Tifa. It made her smile back and hers was probably just as bad as his. They didn't mention last night and Tifa suspected they might never. There was no need to. The shy smile stayed but changed and went vaguely little boy like and surprised as Shera handed Cloud his specific plate and told him 'thank you' with that beaming light in her eyes. He ducked his head and mumbled his 'welcome' even though he didn't look as if he entirely understood why she was thanking him before quickly making his way over to a table in the far corner.
Where Zack soon joined him with a plate of his own food just to rib the blond cheerfully about Shera being 'sweet on him'.
Marlene and Denzel joined the group at the same time Zack did but they got their food and their hugs from Tifa and then set their plates down near Barrett. They both left them there however and bee-lined for Cloud to give the surprised warrior morning hugs before bouncing cheerfully back to their own table. Tifa pretended not to notice even though it made her smile and swelled her heart in her chest. Even Denzel – who was 'too old' for that kind of thing - had hugged Cloud which meant her siblings were making a point. Cloud was family now. Their family. And it made Tifa feel like laughing and crying at the same time it was so perfect and so perfectly what she'd wanted for the longest time.
She ate her breakfast with Denzel and Marlene and Barrett but whenever she looked up and across the room, Cloud would be too and their eyes would brush. It always made her smile softly and she would duck her head to concentrate on her food. It didn't matter if she was looking or not though – she could feel him even all the way across the room. It was the most reassuring feeling she'd ever known.
Everyone else pitched in on clean up and Cloud let Yuffie climb up onto his back so he could carry her around the outside for some fresh air. Tifa brought breakfast to Aerith. Her friend was sitting at the front of the ship on the deck, hair braided and over her shoulder and from time to time she'd stretch out her arm and point. Tifa settled down next to her on the planking and enjoyed the sun and the wind in her face. After a minute though, she poked her friend in the side and Aerith blinked her eyes slowly open and looked over at her. Her green eyes were a little dazed and very far away –
And so happy and sad at the same time that Tifa leaned over to wrap an arm around her and hold her tightly.
"I'm worried about you," she told Aerith and the other woman rested her head on her shoulder and sighed softly.
"It's going to be okay, Teef. You just have to remember that, all right? No matter what happens, out of everyone, you've got to believe that it's going to be okay. Can you do that?"
"I don't like that question," Tifa answered and rested her cheek on the top of her friend's head. Aerith made a soft noise.
"I know. But you're the strong one. If you believe everything will be okay in the end, so will everyone else."
Tifa paused for a very long time in silence.
"Can I just pretend I believe it?"
Suddenly, Aerith was throwing her arms around Tifa and bursting into tears as if her world was ending. It frightened Tifa. Not because it was tears, and she held her friend tightly as the other woman cried, but because – because Aerith had cried this way in Cosmo Canyon after listening to the planet. And because ever since than Tifa had been plagued by the feeling that Aerith somehow knew what was coming and was trying to squeeze everything possible out of every moment in between. It scared her. It scared her so badly that she wasn't sure she wanted to know why.
"It's okay," Tifa soothed automatically before realizing that was exactly what Aerith had asked her to say. So she put more belief into it as she repeated: "It's okay. Everything's going to be okay. You'll see. It will."
Aerith nodded against her and the storm of tears passed as quickly as it had come. She sniffed and didn't pull out of Tifa's arms.
"You're the best. Sister, friend, protector. You really are. You've always made me feel like I belonged in your family – even when I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere. I felt so – so lost after I lost Zack. Like I'd never be whole again. But you made me feel better without me having to forget him. And I've never told you."
"Aerith – " Tifa's voice came out weaker than she'd meant it to. "Please don't. You're scaring me. People only say things like this before they die."
Aerith let out a watery laugh and sat up, though not out of Tifa's arms. She wiped at her eyes and she was smiling again.
"No, they don't, silly. People say things like 'I think I left the stove on at home' or 'do you think it will rain tomorrow' or 'so… you're cannibals?' before they die. People only do long dramatic speeches before their deaths in video games and movies. People say things like 'I love you and I want you to know it' when they're tired and scared."
"Oh," Tifa leaned a little bit into Aerith and rested the side of her head against her friend's. "Good. Because I love you too and I want you to know it. We'll be tired and scared together."
Aerith exhaled and leaned into her.
"Okay," she agreed. A moment later she lifted her arm and pointed again and the ship subtly shifted course under them.
