•How to Not Confess Properly for Gun Dummies!•
3) Think about dinner during a gunfight.
The ravenette eyes the large bush suspiciously, pointing her rifle at it for several long seconds as if waiting for something to jump right out. When nothing happens instead, she moves her aim to the green leaves above, blocking most of the afternoon's sun, before settling for simply looking towards all directions with her scarlet eyes.
"I think we're clear," Uni finally comments as she turns towards the other girl with a smile, the grass beneath cracking softly at the movement. "At least for now, no slime is jumping at us."
"Oh, thank goodness..." Nepgear lets out a long sigh of relief, returning the smile as she lets her laser sword fall to her side. "I didn't expect to run into so many dogoos at once. You really saved me there, Uni."
"I-I didn't do much," the ravenette replies bashfully, hoping that her face isn't too red right now. "I mean, we're doing quests, so I just fought like always."
"Even so, that was a big help," the lilac-haired girl insists, and then...
"I'm glad you're here with me, Uni," Nepgear says with an even bigger, more beautiful smile than before, and, for a second, the Lastationite Candidate swears everything in the immediate area is sparkling.
Her heart also might have skipped a couple beats.
"I-I-It was n-n-nothing, really!" the completely red-faced ravenette miraculously manages to speak, her voice somewhere between hasty and a complete stuttering mess. "I-I just had some free time, that's all! Really!"
"Yeah, but knowing that you decided to spend your free time with me..." the lilac-haired girl begins, and, possibly defying every single law of the universe, it's like her smile grows even brighter. "That makes me very happy, Uni."
"..." Just like that, a sound not unlike a very hard squeal attempts to force its way out of the blushing wide-eyed girl's mouth"... G-Good to know..."
She almost went to heaven right there.
"In any case, we can't start slacking off now, Uni!" Possibly the cutest girl in the world declares as she starts walking away, apparently not noticing anything weird with the ravenette. "Next, we need to beat some flower monsters!"
The Lastationite Candidate can only nod like an idiot before following Nepgear as if a lost puppy.
And just a moment later, Uni shakes her head, forcing her blush to go away.
What the hell is she doing?! The very reason she came here this weekend was to finally confess, not blush and stutter like a schoolgirl in love every time the lilac-haired girl says something to her!
... Even though that's exactly what she usually does, Uni muses with a frown.
Gulping, the ravenette directs her eyes towards the girl walking in front of her, feeling a drop of sweat descend her cheek. All sorts of confessions failed by now, so perhaps she should simply go back to the basics: they'll do some quests together, feel comfortable around each other and, when the sunset comes, Uni will finally say everything she's been keeping in for years now!
Well, maybe not everything, the ravenette thinks as a light pink makes its way to her cheeks. The last thing she wants is to tell Nepgear something embarrassing enough to make Iris Heart blush and look away.
Slowly, her gaze on the Planeptunian Candidate descends just a little bit, stopping for a moment before instantly raising again.
Yep. Not saying everything.
Just the most important things.
Uni takes a long breath as her mind goes back to the game. Just walking along Nepgear and shooting things obviously isn't enough; she needs to make some nice interactions too, one way or another. In that case, praising something about lilac-haired girl would help, right?
At that thought, the ravenette focuses on the other girl, looking for anything she can talk about. Maybe her luscious, lilac hair that is more beautiful than most things Uni's ever seen? Perhaps the outright hypnotic way she subconsciously sways her hips she walks? Could it also be about how she has the grace and body of a bonafide goddess?
It's about then that the self-conscious part of ther ravenette's mind catches up with her thoughts, and it's a miracle how her face doesn't explode from the heat.
Nope. Uni can't say that.
She can't say any of that at all.
"There they are!" Uni hears the most adorable girl ever shout, letting her subconscious take over as her rifle is raised.
Well, what else can the Lastationite Candidate do? Ask to hold hands?
"..."
As her blush darkens, the girl immediatelly takes the idea, rips it to pieces and burns the scraps left with a flamethrower.
She'd die if Nepgear said 'no.'
She'd also die if Nepgear said 'yes.'
"Just a few monsters left!" Her own personal goddess points out as the battle continues.
Maybe this plan will be trickier than the others, Uni muses as she continues to shoot and dodge. If there's one thing she's completely horrible at, it's creating a good atmosphere.
Incidentally, this confession just so happens to hinge completely on that.
'Good job, Uni. You sure thought this through,' she thinks to herself, clicking her tongue. What next? She'll plan a confession that requires as much physical contact as possible, despite nearly blowing up at the mere thought of a hug?
... Wait. As much physical contact as possible...
It's then that the ravenette nearly has a nuclear meltdown.
'No, bad Uni! Really bad Uni!' she mentally screams to herself over and over at her massive blunder.
Boy, is it just her or is it suddenly hot in here?
Shaking her head to try and clear herself of those dangerous thoughts, the Lastationite Candidate does her damnedest to focus on her plan, and not on the reason for her cheeks to be pure scarlet. Unlikely or not, even a 1% chance of success is enough for her to at least try instead of giving up.
No, it's not desperation, she feels the need to tell herself. It's just some plain, old determination.
And so, Uni puts her mind to work.
The amount of contact she can have with Nepgear without becoming a mess is very limited, that much is beyond obvious. Furthermore, they're already best friends, so it's not like this game is starting with zero points for the ravenette. In that case...
... Wait.
Just then, Uni pauses as a realization comes.
If she's not starting with zero points with the lilac-haired girl, doesn't that mean that they already have a relatively good mood going on here?
Doesn't that mean that her chances of success are already way above 1% even without any meaningful interaction?
"T-There's a big one coming here! Get ready, Uni!" her lover-to-be warns her, to which the ravenette feels her lips move, no doubt to say some sort of generic reponse.
That's right. She was just overthinking it! Rather than trying to be some sort of master at romance, Uni should just do her best to make sure the atmosphere remains good enough until the day is over! There's no need for the mood meter to reach 'great,' all she needs to do is to definitely keep it away from the dreaded 'horrible' level!
And, when the romantic sunset comes to passively boost her chances, then maybe, just maybe...
At that thought, a big smile finds its way to Uni's lips, the girl already feeling a bit giddy. Seriously, how could she not see this before? The path to her goal is way simpler than the ravenette thought!
Rather than some sort of hellishly difficult S-Rank quest, this is just your usual escort mission! As long as nothing goes wrong and the both of them remain in a good mood until the end of the day, anything is possible!
With that in mind, Uni allows her focus to return to the real world, aiming her rifle at the next enemy in her way to a fulfilled love life...
... And then she freezes, her jaw going slack.
In front of her, swaying from one side to the other without a care in the world, is a big dogoo. As in, a really big dogoo, probably the size of an entire house.
That's not what catches the ravenette's attention, however.
Instead, that accomplishment goes to the familiar pair of legs clad in pink-and-white stripped thigh-highs sticking out of its gooey mouth, desperately kicking at nothing in an attempt to break free.
"Ah, that's Nepgear," the Lastationite Candidate notes in a flat tone, calmly observing the scene before her.
As if on cue, the giant dogoo turns around and starts hopping away, taking the ravenette's future wife along with it.
"Bye, Nepgear," Uni says in the very same robotic voice, watching the blue slime disappear into the depths of the forest.
...
...
...
It's about three seconds later that Uni's mind starts running again.
Just like she does, that is.
"NEEEEPGEEEEEEAAAAAARRR!"
