Chapter 88: No Time for Later

He let her sit on the bed while he stood and took care of his arm in the cabin. It wasn't exactly what she'd wanted but she thought… she thought it was more than she had a right to expect. If he wasn't letting her take care of him directly, he was still letting her see what had happened to him and she knew it was more than he'd admit to anyone else, much less let them see. Even if he wouldn't have even told her if she hadn't stumbled across him…

"Does anyone else know?" she asked and he shook his head, blond hair swaying. He'd gotten even less talkative than usual after his admission about why he thought he was the only one showing signs of… whatever was happening to him. She thought, maybe, it wasn't because he was embarrassed of what he was so much as… simply not having anything left to say.

She couldn't believe he was a clone. She couldn't. He was… too real. As she watched him, she knew – even if it was true - it changed nothing. Nothing about the way she felt about him. The only thing it changed was how they would have to take care of him.

He unwrapped his arm with efficiency and that told her more than anything else that he'd been doing this for a while. No one got that good at bandaging themselves one armed without a lot of practice. The white of the cloth was stained gray and black and he dropped it onto the small table against the wall. Studiously not looking at her, he took new bandages and started to rewrap his arm. She still saw.

Cloud's arm was a mass of what looked like strangely colored bruises. They discolored his pale skin from the back of his hand all the way up to his shoulder, dark black in long stains while the skin surrounding it was a thick gray rimmed in purple and angry red. His face was expressionless and so were his eyes as he covered the pulped looking mess with white cloth and she wondered how he could even still use his arm at all considering how horrible it looked.

How had she not known? How had she not noticed? Had she really been so distracted with other things that she hadn't even noticed what was happening to the man she said she loved? How had she missed this?

He tied off the bandage with quick motions and flexed his elbow to make sure he could still move that arm without restraint. Then, still not looking at her, he turned and stripped off his shirt. Tifa saw scars in pale white and faded purple across his skin and the muscles that moved under it and there was a large wicked looking scar that marked his back at almost the center of him. She remembered. He had a similar scar on his chest that Marlene had been the first to notice. Her own hand moved automatically to lie flat over the scar that marked her own chest. She must have made a noise because he paused, picking up a new shirt, and calmly, softly, without looking at her stated:

"I know. It's started spreading again. I noticed this morning."

She could see the pale purple splotches along his shoulder blade in the back and, if she hadn't known better she would have thought that they were nothing more than simple bruises, the kind they all collected while fighting. Heart breaking, she stood up and pressed into his back, slipping her arms around him before she could even think about it. She felt his muscles jerk under her and his voice came out strained:

"Don't – Tifa… don't."

"Shut up, Strife," she muttered against his skin, arms tightening around him when he tried to pull away.

"I might be contagious," it was to scare her off but she refused to be scared. She held him tightly and shook her head, not about to back off.

"No. If you even thought there was the littlest chance of that, you'd never touch me or the children the way you do."

"I shouldn't touch you at all," his voice was quiet and so soft it almost hid the raw edge. He wasn't talking about spreading the black that was consuming him anymore. Now he was back to worrying about her heart when it tangled with his. She knew him well enough to recognize that by now. He did it often enough.

"Try to stop," she pressed her lips to the back of his neck to whisper it and, made bold by the fear for him and the crushing grip on her heart, she spread her fingers against his warm skin. She heard the muted sound he made. Just before he turned in her arms and caught her face in his good hand to lean in and kiss her with a tinge of desperation. She slid her fingers over his chest as she kissed him just as fiercely back and he stepped forward to pin her against the wall, his hand tangling in her hair, long fingers fisting.

"Why won't you leave?" his voice was throaty and raw as his mouth left hers to catch her jaw and slip down to her throat. It made her smile and yet it made her want to burst into tears too and she tipped her head back for him as much as she could with the wall in the way, threading her fingers through his golden hair. Her heart hurt.

"… because… I think I love you…" it slipped out of her and she felt the way the words hit him because he inhaled in a sound that was heart torn and his mouth left her skin. A heartbeat before it found hers again and poured desperate heat into her bones, she thought she heard him mutter:

"…don't…."

Too late, she thought as she melted against him, their fingers twining with each others against the wall above her head. It had been too late the second she'd seen him in the convention center with the taste of hot chocolate on her tongue. Every second since than has only been a continuation of what happened in that moment. Overhead the ship's intercom crackled and someone yelled something over it. Brain cells no longer functioning in such close proximity to Cloud, it took her hazy mind a long time to realize it was someone cursing and it wasn't until Cloud's mouth left hers, leaving her gasping, that she realized it was Cid and he was getting colorful with the language he was using to order the 'love birds' to get 'their horny asses in gear' and join everyone else on the 'non-fucking deck' before he hunted them down himself and tossed them overboard 'without the damn ladder'.

"That's us?" she guessed blurrily and Cloud's eyes were a bottomless midnight blue as they looked down at her. His thumb rubbed over her lower lip and she wondered how she was supposed to walk when her knees were jelly.

"Stay here," his voice was low. She blinked up at him as the words took a moment to sink in. His pale brows were down over his eyes as he watched her. She shook her head.

"Can't," she whispered. "Aerith... She'll need me."

His eyes lidded and he turned his head a little to the side. Gentle, she touched the side of his jaw with her fingertips.

"It's just a ruin."

"No," he shook his head, still looking to the side. "It's not." At her inquiring noise he shook his head. "I don't know," he admitted. "I just know I don't want you down there."

"Aerith – "

"Needs you. I know." His eyes found hers and there was a pale green hint around the pupils. His lips touched her forehead lightly. "Just… be careful. All right?"

She nodded against him and the intercom crackled again. This time Zack's voice came on, laughing, informing them that the team was leaving and they'd tell them how it had gone when they got back. Just as long as they promised to do the same. Cloud exhaled through his nose and shared a look with Tifa before he stepped back and pulled on a clean shirt, kicking the strained one and the used bandage under the bed. His hand found hers and she found her knees gave her enough support to move away from the wall and follow him out into the hallway. Her fingers twined a little too tightly with his though but it was all right. His fingers were threaded just as strongly with hers.

"Stay close to Zack if you can," he told her, holding both Aerith's pack and hers across one of his shoulders.

"Not you?" she asked and his eyes narrowed slightly as he started up the iron steps to the deck above.

"No," his voice was quietly decisive. "Not me."

Before she could ask he pushed the hatch aside and Aerith was standing there waiting with a mischievous smile on her face but relief in her eyes when she saw Tifa. Yuffie sat in a miserable ball against the railing, her face tucked into her knees but she raised her face enough to give Cloud a weak smile when she heard his footsteps.

"Took you long enough," Aerith put her hands on her hips to tease it and Tifa gave her a crooked smile. Denzel and Marlene piled over to wrap their arms around her as well and Tifa hugged them both back. Calm, Cloud handed Aerith her pack and ruffled both Denzel and Marlene's hair with a soft, sad smile. Then he walked over to gently stroke a hand over his little sister's hair and murmur something to her. Straightening, he punched Zack, who was standing nearby, in the chest. It wasn't a light hit from the sound of it but it also apparently wasn't meant to do any damage either because all it made Zack do was grunt and then ask innocently:

"What?"

"Are you ready?" Leon asked flatly from the railing he was standing next to.

"Aren't you coming?" Tifa asked in surprise and Leon shook his head.

"We got a tip off about Shinra moving something big by train. Don't know what it is but it's soon. We're dropping you off and then going after it. We'll be back before you even miss us."

"You get a lot of tips," Cloud commented as he pulled on his own pack and handed Tifa's back to her. Leon met his eyes.

"Some of us get magic key codes, some of us get tip offs."

Cloud's shoulder moved.

"Point."

Zack looked from one man to the other and then decided to ignore them both.

"Right," he smacked his fist into his open palm. "Let's mosey!"

"You're such a dork," Aerith told him and Tifa turned to look down at her siblings.

"Be good," she told them. "Stay with Barret. You already know the rules about not going anywhere without an adult while the Turks are onboard."

They nodded and there was still worry in their eyes. There was probably worry in hers as well. But it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Slowly, she thought, they were all healing.

"Call when you're ready," Leon kicked the rope ladder over the side. "If nothing goes wrong, we'll be back before nightfall. We'll keep an eye on the Turks in the meantime for you."

Cloud nodded and moved over to crouch down in front of Yuffie.

"Come on, kiddo," he told her gently. "Let's get you back on solid land."

She reached out and he let her climb onto his back. Briefly, his eyes met Tifa's and then he was lowering himself over the edge. Her hand found Aerith's. The look in his eyes had been guarded. As if they were going into something much worse than what they all thought they were. She drew in a breath and then let go of her friend's hand with a light squeeze, stealing one last look at her siblings before she followed him over the edge and down the swaying ladder. Going into the unknown.

Again.