•How to Not Confess Properly for Gun Dummies!•
6) Master rifles, show off with a shotgun.
Uni never thought of herself as particularly stubborn.
Determined? Of course. Hasty? Perhaps. High-strung? A little bit.
But utterly, honest-to-God stubborn?
Not at all.
Which is why the girl can't help but feel a bit weird as she sits on her luxurious bed, holding up the small, gray doll-like construct with what seems like a mini-TV for a head and robot claws for hands.
Of course, Uni muses, she knows the difference between messing up for inexperience and messing up for getting carried away, and what happened before was definitely the latter. Still, it's a strange sensation to go back to robots rather than, well, trying to send a confession through a message once more.
Rotation is important, if only to make this whole thing less frustrating.
However, she can't just ignore the items at her disposal, the Candidate reminds herself as she lightly shakes the little robot, watching its limbs flail at every movement. This here just so happened to be ninety-freaking-percent off, and Uni isn't one to let such chances slip by.
Especially since she's almost broke by this point.
Letting a frown reach her lips, the ravenette raises to her feet and places the small construct on her bed, watching as it stays seated in place. A good purchase or not, she did buy it without even thinking about it; whatever she'll use it for, the fact is that the girl currently has absolutely no master plan wandering around her mind.
That, and the thing looks pretty plain, she notes.
Maybe Uni should mod it into a battle robot and present it to Nepgear? No, messing with that sort of technology is just asking for trouble. And, besides, even if nothing were to go laughably wrong, what'd all that effort get her? A squeal, a praise and nothing more? Maybe a smile too?
Only somebody overly stupid and incredibly desperate would even consider working their backs off like that for a praise.
"..."
It's then that Uni freezes, the weight of what she just said setting in.
Great. Now she just knows these memories will be coming back when she tries to sleep tonight.
Shaking her head, the ravenette forces her mind to focus back on the issue. Perhaps she could just... use it as a messenger? Have the robot relay her confession to Nepgear? All because Uni has absolutely no backbone and can't bring herself to actually confess like any functioning living being would after being friends for years with their crush who just so happens to be absolutely single and without any suitor in sight?
Well, that doesn't sound like a mouthful of pitifulness at all!
Still, the ravenette reasons as she brings a hand to her chin, she already accepted her pitifulness long ago, a simple consequence of playing this game for so long. Doing something like that wouldn't really hurt her pride that much, especially since the ideas of 'preserving self-respect' and 'confessing to Nepgear' just can't seem to mesh well at all in her head.
Gosh, she already tried expressing her feelings through cooking!
Cooking!
Who the heck did Uni think she was, a T****uki Academy student?! At this point, it wouldn't be out of character for her to wear a virgin-killer sweater, visit Nepgear and just lunge at that dense-
"?!"
At that, the girl instantly halts her train of thought, if only to allow the heat of a plasma bullet to cross her cheeks.
Alright, maybe she's going too far there. Like, far too far. So incredibly far she just needs to record her entire fantasy somewhere to read later.
That's how far.
However, that still proves her point, the Candidate muses as she folds her arms, doing her best to ignore the urge to dig a hole and hide inside it after realizing just how pitiful she really is; things like 'pride' just can't stand in the ravenette's way if her mind is set, for better or worse.
In other words, she can, as a matter of fact, use the little robot as a messenger.
... Not right away, however. That'd be dumb. Instead, she should take her time to actually write something nice, and then maybe modify the small construct a bit, if only to make it less plain.
With that less-than-wholesome-but-still-something plan in mind, Uni then proceeds to bring her focus back to the plain, small robot seated on her bed-
"... Huh?"
-only to realize it's not plain anymore.
Rather, with skin and a certain white dress painted on it, alongside a robotic expression that somehow brings an idea of panic to the mind, it's beyond clear that the object before her is now a famous special edition of the model.
Namely, a Nepgeardam.
"Huh?"
Sensing a damp feeling on her fingertips, Uni slowly brings them up, only to see purple paint there, alongside a few dry white spots on her fingers.
"Huh?!"
Catching something on the corner of her vision, the girl then hesitantly turns to her right, where a wide wooden table is placed, its surface covered by pasteboard covered in colorful stains and several sprays of paint.
"Huh?!"
*Creeeeak*
And then the door opens.
Startled, Uni snaps her head towards the door.
Then she freezes.
Noire, meanwhile, just stares, one hand on the doorknob and another holding the key she undoubtedly just used.
She stares at Uni, whose hands are still raised to reveal the paint on them.
She stares at the table, filled with tools mostly used by artists and art enthusiasts alike, none of which the younger ravenette is.
She stares at the bed, where the robot whose resemblance to another Candidate is beyond obvious sits still.
And then, after a second that feels like an eternity...
She sighs.
"Right. It's Saturday again," the older girl mutters under her breath, looking at her sister with an expression that just screams 'I knew it.' "In any case, I'll be going to a meeting right now, and I'm sure K-Sha will follow me whether I like it or not. Take care of the house, and don't bring in Nepugia again, okay?"
With that said, Noire starts moving away, closing the door on her way out.
"... Ah, right."
Just then, though, she stops, turning towards her little sister once more.
"Next time, I'll barge in after the third call rather than the sixth."
Finally, the door closes, and so the CPU is gone.
As for the Lastationite Candidate, who remains alone in her room...
"Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuh?!"
.
.
.
Uni takes a deep breath. Following that, she straightens her back against the tree's trunk.
Then she takes another deep breath, just to make sure.
In front of her is one of Planeptune's many parks, filled with lush green grass, bushes, trees huddled together and the occasional cybernetic-looking grid on the ground. Of course, that's not where her actual objective is.
Silently, the ravenette crouches down and peeks from behind the tree, looking through the light foliage of a bush and the tall fence limiting the park. On the other side of the metal bars whose gaps are wide enough to let a dogoo pass by, the citizens of Planeptune are just enjoying their day, walking by the sidewalks, driving their cars or just passing time in one of the several businesses on the other side of the street, from clothing shops to restaurants and even a few weapon vendors.
And, as it turns out, a certain lilac-haired girl is currently enjoying her time together with her sister in a cafe nearby, the purple parasol above their outdoor table protecting the two of them from the morning's sun.
As both girls happily eat their puddings, completely unaware of the scarlet eyes focusing on them, the Lastationite Candidate can't help but let a smirk reach her lips. How fortunate for Nepgear to comment about her 'date' with Neptune just a few days prior.
After all, now Uni can make sure the next one will be with her!
Holding the urge to start chuckling like an evil mastermind, the ravenette doesn't waste time in summoning the small robot, placing it by her side before also whipping out its black controller, grasping it tightly.
This is it. She knows she said- erm, thought that same sentence about fifty different times by this point, but now this is really it.
The girl glances at the construct, silently observing its appearance, unchanged since its last modification due to the nature of the paint used.
In other words, it's still a Nepgeardam.
"..."
Her smile twitches. Just a bit.
'At least this has to make an impression...'
Tearing her eyes off the thing, she then looks at the controller in her hands. It looks pretty generic, all things considered, to the point that, if it weren't for the extra levers, she could probably trick somebody into thinking it's for a toy car rather than, well, a freaking robot.
At first glance, it seems pretty easy to understand.
... Or at least it would be, if there actually were any labels on the darn thing.
Muttering under her breath about bad design choices, Uni summons the small instructions booklet and, with a hand still holding the controller, starts skimming through it.
...
...
...
Alright, it seems simple enough.
With that out of the way, Uni places the booklet on the grass before summoning a scrap of paper. Moving a lever, she opens the Nepgeardam's right robot claw, placing the note there before closing it.
It's not a confession proper, no; the atmosphere right now is just not right for something like that. Instead, it's an anonymous invitation to lead Nepgear to the place where it'll actually happen, possibly under the moonlight if the weather doesn't decide to screw up everything.
Excessive? Probably. Redundant? Oh, definitely.
But it will, however, cause an impression; hopefully a bigger one than the robot's very appearance will.
Because, really, having it otherwise would be pretty humiliating.
"... I guess everything is ready now."
Uni shoots a last glance at her target's previous location, confirming that she's still happily eating- wait, is that her fifth cup?!
Hell, that girl's really fired up today, isn't she?
Well, at least that essentially destroys the chances of Nepgear just walking away before the Nepgeardam reaches her.
That would also be pretty humiliating.
Steeling herself for what's to come, Uni takes yet another deep breath, if only to prevent her eagerness–and nervousness, of course–from peaking at the worst moment possible. Following that, she grasps the controller, and, remembering the controls...
She makes the Nepgeardam walk forward.
It walks abnormally, almost comically, with its legs and arms moving in ways only a robot can. What it doesn't do is walk slowly, however, and it's not long until the small construct goes through a gap in the fence, earning the quizzical looks of several passersby-
*bang*
"Eh?"
-and promptly ignoring the ravenette's command to stop, hitting head-on the cylindrical, one-meter tall cleaning bot wandering the sidewalk.
"..."
The Nepgeardam is able to walk back a few steps easily enough, however, this time walking around the other construct-
*bang*
-and seemingly attempting to make out with a lamppost.
"U-Um..."
As expected, lots of people are staring by now.
Luckily, the Planeptune sisters still aren't.
As such, the ravenette doesn't hesitate to have the robot retreat a bit once more and, using both her hearing coupled with a few glances through the gaps in the bush to make sure no car is coming, has it rush to cross the street-
"W-Whoa!" *BANG*
-only for it to run in front of a cyclist, resulting in a failed attempt to dodge and some blonde guy with green shades lying above an overturned cleaning bot.
"..."
Uni is pretty much sweating at this point.
Still, the Nepgeardam crosses the street soon enough, reaching the opposite sidewalk-
"AH!" *Bang*
-and promptly tripping a wary guard, who then proceeds to headbutt a lamppost quite hard.
It's about then that the ravenette starts trembling.
Nepgear and Neptune are also staring curiously now from three stores away.
'... Oh, to hell with it!'
Throwing caution to the wind, Uni makes the robot start running towards its target, making several passersby instictively move out of the way as it rushes through-
*Crash*
-and promptly decides to just defy all commands altogether, turning to the right two stores away from the cafe and entering a particularly elegant-looking clothing shop.
Right through its closed glass door.
A few seconds later, a small explosion sounds, and several people rush out of the establishment screaming.
"..."
As the screams continue, Uni lets go of the controller and reaches for the instructions booklet, calmly looking through the pages for anything she might have missed.
And then she sees it.
On the very first page, alongside a bunch of legal information she deemed too useless to read, is a small sentence, surrounded by a rectangle as if to say 'this is important.'
"As always... don't forget... to readjust... the motherboard's screws..." the ravenette reads, her words coming in a dead tone which could easily pass as a voice synthesizer's.
For the longest of whiles, she just stares at the phrase, blinking blankly at it. Slowly, she raises to her feet, still hidden behind the tree and holding onto the controller.
Nearby, the screams have died down somewhat, but the smell of burning cloth has gotten much stronger. It's easy to hear the fire truck sirens in the distance.
Uni lets out a chuckle.
Then she slowly retreats into the park.
