•How to Not Confess Properly for Gun Dummies!•
8) Shoot well alone, get shy at onlookers.
Lastation's capital.
Big, busy, filled with all sorts of notably tall buildings and factories, and coupled with a large variety of establishments meant to waste one's time for absolutely no compensation.
... In other words, the perfect place for a date.
Which is exactly why Uni is currently standing in front of a big train station, clad in a pair of black shorts and a similarly colored T-shirt as she watches the crowd descending and ascending the steps leading to the platform.
That's right. She's going on a date with Nepgear!
Just the thought alone has the girl fidgeting and smiling like an idiot!
Granted, it's actually "a sunny afternoon of hanging out alone with each other" as far as the Planeptunian Candidate is concerned, but whatever! They'll go to the movies, they'll eat stuff together, they'll play some games, and then, when the sunset comes and the two girls coincidentally find themselves with a full view of the romantic spectacle...!
Her dream will come true!
"Hehehe... Hehehehe~" Uni finds herself giggling as her imagination begins to work, bringing her hands to her reddened cheeks. Gosh, she's probably making one of those faces Uzume does sometimes! A bit further and people will start looking~
And just like that the expression vanishes, replaced by the seriousness of a soldier.
She can't fail this time. Not after spending a whole night planning how this will go.
Taking her hands off her cheeks, the girl does a show of stretching her arms...
Then places a palm over her ear.
"Any sight of her from up there?"
"Nope," K-Sha's voice comes from the nearly invisible communicator in her ear, already sounding tired. "No sight of your girlfriend anywhere from this rooftop... And the last time you asked me that was twenty-one seconds ago."
"Drat..." The Lastationite Candidate clicks her tongue, letting her eyes wander around the crowd. "Did she get lost? This could throw everything off..."
"D... Did you just ignore what I said—"
"Keep looking for her," Uni requests, folding her arms impatiently. "She should have been here seven minutes ago... Don't tell me something did happen."
"... Sometimes I wonder why I bother." K-Sha lets out a big sigh. "Also, right side, about to walk near you."
'Finally!'
With a big smile, the ravenette turns towards the indicated direction, eager to speak with her date—
Uni halts.
The older-looking Neptune does too, staring right back.
"..."
"..."
After a long moment, the taller girl nervously averts her sight before hurriedly scurrying away, disappearing into the crowd.
"... I am instantly worried."
"I wish you were the only one..."
Right now, the ravenette wishes she could just call it a coincidence and leave it at that.
If only she didn't know how the song goes...
"Oh, Uni!"
"...!"
At that, the girl perks up.
There's no mistaking it this time, the ravenette thinks as she turns towards the voice! That can only be—
"Hey, girl." Nepugia raises a hand to greet her, a smirk on her lips.
"..."
Uni blinks.
Right on cue, the doppelganger starts walking away, placing a hand in her mouth as she snickers. Scarlet eyes follow her all the while, until she disappears amidst the sea of people.
"Red alarm ringing..."
"I know, I know," the Lastationite Candidate whispers back in a hushed tone, annoyance overtaking her features.
This really doesn't look good...
"Ah, Uni!"
It takes the ravenette everything not to let out a big sigh right then and there.
'What is it now, a robot Nepgear?... My robot Nepgear?'
By this point, she wouldn't be surprised in the slightest.
Even so, the ravenette directs her sight towards whoever spoke all the same. Might as well get this over with...
'... Ah.'
"Hm?" As their eyes meet, Nepgear tilts her head quizzically, causing her ponytail to sway a bit. Even so, a wide smile is on her lips, as pretty as her casual pink dress and purple mini jacket. "What is it?"
"..."
"You look... a bit underdressed."
Uni knows.
Holy heavens, she knows.
"Um..." It's not long until a worried frown mars the lilac-haired girl's lips. "You're staring a bit too much... Really, what is it?"
"... You're pretty."
"Eh?"
Just like that, a deep scarlet overtakes Nepgear's face. In her ear, Uni can hear K-Sha choking on air.
One second later, her brain registers what her mouth said.
'AH.'
And red goes the ravenette's face, now only missing ludicrous amounts of rising steam for a perfect imagery.
"Mind kissing her hand now, Romeo?"
'Shut up, shut up, shut uuuuup!'
A hole. Uni urgently needs a hole to hide inside forever.
"W-Well..." Unsurprisingly, the lilac-haired girl eventually averts her eyes, her lips forming a bashful smile. "He-Hearing that makes me kinda happy, but..."
But. But, she said.
'Someone kill me.'
"A-Anyway!" the ravenette suddenly shouts, attracting quite a few glances. "W-We should be going! The movie! We need to go watch the movie!"
"...!"
At those words, a look of realization crosses Nepgear's face.
"That's right," she begins in an urgent voice. "It's going to start in just twenty minutes! We should be going!"
"Y-Yes, that's exactly rig— Huh?!"
"C'mon, let's go!" the lilac-haired girl says, completely disregarding how she just grabbed Uni's hand and began dragging her along.
They're holding hands.
'Holriw— Wamiu— Arfga—'
This is the best day ever.
"Um, you're... making quite the face there, little sister..."
If Uni heard her, she hid it quite well.
She's too busy having the best day ever.
"..."
"Ooooh~"
"..."
"Amazing~!"
"..."
This is the worst day ever.
Not because of the bright, fast-paced and unmistakably robot-related movie beng projected against the big white screen several rows in front of the two girls. Not because of just how strangely tense the entire room filled to the brim with fans feels, no doubt a consequence of the piece's genre. And most certainly not because Uni is sitting on a dark, cushioned seat next to an extremely excited Nepgear, inside a cold and dim room where huddling together would be nothing out of the ordinary.
Hell, those were all part of the plan, so of course the Lastationite Candidate doesn't feel bothered by any of it!
Well, maybe she underestimated the effect this movie in particular would have on the lilac-haired girl, who seems about to jump from her seat and fangirl hard, but it's not as if that was entirely unexpected.
There's only a single unfortunate variable in this situation, however. One small, little detail.
Carefully, Uni takes a sneaky glance behind her.
Three rows behind the duo is a girl, or perhaps just a young-looking woman, focusing on the movie with attentive sapphire-colored eyes. From where she is, Uni can clearly see that she has long silvery-gray hair, reaching down to her mid-back, and is wearing a pretty, casual loose dress which seems to be black on the sides and white on the front, the colors separated by gray vertical lines.
Also, she's been throwing occasional looks at both Uni and Nepgear for a while now.
"..."
Uni scowls, feeling her exasperation growing by the second.
It's Kei. No matter how different she looks, it's Kei who's sitting there, sporting an unusual but not unfamiliar hairstyle.
Directing her view forward just as the Oracle's next glance comes, the ravenette would have tsked had she not the awareness that the girl next to her would notice it.
"Your bad luck really is no joke, huh..." K-Sha sighs from somewhere else in the room, her seat unknown even to the Lastationite Candidate herself. "So, I'm guessing you'll get cold feet about now... Dang. Try packing some rabbit paws next time, 'kay?"
Uni nearly scoffs at the very suggestion. As if she would believe that something like that brings luck; it's just a stupid superstition, much like many others!
She'd know. It didn't work before.
Gritting her teeth, the ravenette takes another look at her nation's one and only Oracle, the woman's expression a strange mix of the usual stoicism and unmistakable excitement. To think she'd be interested in giant robots of all things...
What are the chances?!
... Or at least that's how the girl wishes the situation was. Be it paranoia or basic pattern-reading, she has an inkling that Kei isn't here for the robots...
Cursing under her breath, Uni once again looks at the ongoing movie, just in time for a big explosion and the cute noise of Nepgear trying to hold in an excited shout.
Too bad she can't use that cue to begin a romantic event sequence.
Not with someone she knows watching.
"Cooold feeeet..."
'Dammit, K-Sha, I'm trying!'
"That... was... awesome!" Nepgear breathes out as she exits the movie theater, walking through the crowds with a visibly deflated Uni right behind her. "The action, the excitement... the romance!"
Romance, she says. In a movie about giant robots.
As the lilac-haired girl rambles on, the ravenette lets out a quiet sigh. The love of her life, ladies and gentlemen...
"—and when they combined using just their fighting spirits, it was so amazing!" Nepgear clasps her hands together, turning around to face her friend who was definitely smiling all along and certainly not moping at all, no sir. "Don't you think so, Uni?!"
"Y-Yeah," the Lastationite Candidate nods, holding her forced smile together. Fortunately, the lilac-haired girl doesn't seem to notice, spinning forward and resuming her rambles about the movie.
And a scowl appears over Uni's lips.
That whole thing didn't go well. At all.
First event done, and not a single point gathered. If that's not underwhelming, she doesn't know what is.
If only there hadn't been an unexpected witness in there...
... No, she can't really say it was unexpected, the ravenette silently muses. Her bad luck seems to be a passive skill by this point.
It takes until both girls finally reach the edge of the sidewalk for Nepgear's excitement to wind down, her ramblings finally coming to a stop just as she turns around to face her friend.
Being a proper gamer, Uni passes the QTE like a pro and instantly puts on the happy mask.
"I had so much fun!" the lilac-haired girl says with a smile, her cuteness alone almost earning her a surprise glomp. "Do you have anything else planned for us, Uni?"
Yes. Marriage.
That comes later, though.
"Of course!" Adopting a prideful smile meant to tell Nepgear she can—and should—always rely on her, the ravenette directs her eyes towards a certain ice cream-related establishment on the other side of the street—
Oh.
Much like the cold delicacies she had in mind, Uni freezes.
Right there, visible through the glass pane, seated on a small table amidst the parlor's colorful interior, enjoying what seems to be chocolate ice cream covered in bright sprinkles...
That's Noire.
There's no doubt. That's definitely Noire right there. And not even her own, if her exposed midriff means anything.
"..."
W... What are the chances of this being just a coincidence...?
"Uni?"
"?!" At her name, the ravenette jolts in her spot. Slowly, adopting a not-all-that-fake embarrassed expression, she turns towards her friend's worried eyes. "Um... It's... closed," she lies through her teeth. "The place I wanted to go... I just remembered it's closed today..."
"... Is that so..." As Nepgear's expression falls, the utter sadness she displays is almost enough to make Uni spill everything on the spot.
Almost.
Doesn't mean it has no effect, though.
"W-Well, why don't we go look for somewhere else?!" the Lastationite Candidate hastily offers, outright yanking the lilac-haired girl and dragging her through the crowds.
Unsurprisingly, Nepgear yelps, clearly surprised by the sudden roughness. "U-Uni?! What are you—"
"Hold on tight," the ravenette replies, not even glancing back at the other girl. "We don't want to get separated here!"
"Ah, um, yes!"
And that's the end of it.
"Huh? Wait, why are you two going aw—Oh."
Yes. "Oh."
Story of her life.
'What's going on here...?!'
"Goodness, that was actually pretty tasty!"
"Hehe, wasn't it?"
As the two girls walk away from the first random ice cream parlor that Uni spotted, it's that sort of casual conversation that dominates the atmosphere.
"I wonder if they have any establishments in Planeptune." With a wide smile, Nepgear turns to look at her friend as they continue to move through the somewhat busy sidewalk. "I didn't even know about that brand before."
Yeah. Neither did Uni.
But she doesn't let it show, instead twisting her lips slightly upwards as she returns the gesture. "Well, you can find all sorts of cool places if you know where to look." Or if you're determined enough.
The lilac-haired girl hums in agreement as she looks forward, as cheerful as ever. "That was fun. What should we do next?"
"I was thinking of hanging out by an arcade nearby—"
"Two Loweean kids by the corner of the building behind you."
"—or maybe we could go buy clothes!" Uni finishes hastily, her voice just a little bit hysterical. "I know a place that's having a sale right now, so let's hurry!"
"Eh?" is all Nepgear says when her hand is suddenly grabbed, followed by a yelp as her best friend suddenly starts dragging her along as fast as possible.
Uni never looks back.
"Oh, what do you think of this one?" the lilac-haired girl asks, taking a sleeveless purple top from the pile of clothes. "It's a bit plain, but it's also pretty cheap!"
Looking away from a selection of jackets that could work as holsters with some modifications, Uni smiles at the other girl. "That's definitely plain, but I think you can make it work."
Except that's true for whatever Nepgear might ever wear. Not that Uni's saying it out loud.
Her romantic target just smiles back, the expression as pretty as any other which ever graced her face—
"Leanbox comedy duo, behind the shelf by the pillar at seven o'clock, might be planning something."
—then proceeds to blink as Uni suddenly grabs a random article of clothing from the pile by her right, tosses it at the lilac-haired girl, then proceeds to turn her around and push her towards the open dressing room nearby. "By the way, mind trying this out?"
"Um," is the sound which escapes Nepgear's lips just as she enters the small cubicle adjacent to the shop's walls, looking back with a confused expression. "Wait, why—"
"I just kinda wanna see it," comes Uni's instant response. Before the other girl can respond, she grabs the white curtain meant to block the view and pulls it across the metal bar holding it in place, effectively closing the room.
"..."
Her smile dies.
In a single motion, she spins around, summons a knife, throws it at a certain pillar behind her, recalls it back to her inventory just before it actually hits anything, and finally completes the spin, assuming a casual stance with an arm by her hip as if nothing happened.
Other shoppers don't look at her. No worker comes to have a talk with her. The camera person is probably staring, but they probably won't do anything too hasty.
There's a rustling noise nearby.
"... Huh. Comedy duo retreating, seems you gave Hakozaki a heart attack. Good going."
Even with the praise, Uni can't find it in herself to feel particularly satisfied.
If there was any doubt before, now there are none: they're all onto her for whatever reason.
The girl almost curses out loud. How did everyone find out about today? Since when is her failure of a love life a spectacle? And why can't her audience at least stalk her properly?! A single sighting and this whole thing is done for!
Just what the hell is wrong with her luck?!
"H-Hey... How does this look...?"
'Resuming game time.'
Before anything goes awry, the ravenette pushes everything she was thinking about to the back of her mind and pastes the most genuine fake smile on her face.
Then, she stops.
Her body stops. Her mind stops. Perhaps even her soul stops.
Nepgear is holding the curtain open just enough to give her a view, the lilac-haired girl's cheeks a bright ruby by this point.
As Uni's face mirrors that color, she can see why. She can see it well. Perhaps too well.
Definitely too well.
"I... I feel like it'd be illegal to wear that outside."
Yes.
Yes, it would be.
"P-Please stop staring..."
"That's a difficult request."
"E-Eh?"
"I said I'm very very sorry I grabbed the wrong thing, you can change back now."
With those robotic words, with all the haste in the world, Uni tears the cover from Nepgear's grasp and obscures the room from view once again.
Her operational system resumes its work.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"... You're going to dream about that one, aren't you?"
God, she hopes so.
"Well, don't lose your mind over it. The day's almost over... but not just yet."
Just like that, her mind is brought back to Gamindustri. The noise that comes out of her mouth can only be described as "that sound a person makes while playing 'I Wanna Be The Main Character.'"
In other words, pain and suffering.
'Did she have to remind me...?'
Sunsets are romantic, aren't they? Those are staples of love stories, aren't they? The surroundings are always places like pretty beaches or beautiful grasslands, aren't they?
So can someone please explain to Uni why she's currently watching it from the gray rooftop of some department store, leaning against the black railing preventing her from effortlessly throwing herself off the building like she really wants to?
"Um... I'm really sorry. I couldn't just drive away all those people."
Right. She knows why she's here.
Because a bunch of idiots, all ungodly bad at hiding, practically cut off all the exits, accidentally or not.
Oh, they're going to pay. They all are.
Uni's still a bit surprised that even 5pb. was there in disguise, but that doesn't really matter. They all screwed this up for her, and no idol status is going to work as a shield when she gets her hands on—
"This really is a nice sight," Nepgear suddenly breathes out besides the ravenette, both hands on the railing as she stares at the sight before her like it's a piece of fine art. "Goodness, maybe I should watch the sunset more times."
"..."
For a moment, Uni finds herself just staring at the beautiful girl besides her, all thoughts of bloody revenge momentarily forgotten.
She wants to marry someone who looks at her like that.
She wants Nepgear to look at her like that.
'... Right. As if that'd happen any time soon.'
With the other girl's sight away from her in more than one sense, the ravenette's expression turns sour.
This whole thing was a bust. Just how many relationship points did Uni manage to gather? It's a round number, that's for sure.
Letting out a soft sigh, the girl lets her sight fall, towards the department store's big logo and the streets beneath. Seriously, this atmosphere isn't romantic at all...
...!
"Hey, Nepgear..." Uni begins casually, looking at the distant sunset even as lilac eyes turn to her. "The sun sure is beautiful today, huh. I thought K-Sha was hyping it, but turns out she was right."
By the edge of her vision, the ravenette can see the object of her affections blinking, as if confused by the comment, before shooting her a warm smile. "I—"
*bzzzzt* *bzzzzt*
"—Eh?"
Puzzled, Nepgear looks down towards her lower body. Realization crosses her face soon after, followed by an apologetic glance towards her fellow Candidate. "Ah, sorry. That was my N-Gear."
"Don't worry about it." Uni simply smiles at her, waving dismissively. "You should probably check it."
"Alright, excuse me..." Bashfully, the girl reaches down to the device, holstered on her right thigh. Taking hold of it, she brings the N-Gear to her face.
A few presses later, confusion crosses Nepgear's face as she reads. It's not much longer until she turns to the ravenette, disappointed. "Looks like Noire wanted to talk to my sister about an international deal, but since Histoire is busy and Neptune can't go out while she still has paperwork to do, well..."
It doesn't take a genius to realize how the Planeptunian Candidate is connected to that.
"... Man, that's some bad timing." Uni sighs, pushing herself away from the railing. Even so, she still smiles at the other girl. "I still have some stuff I want to check out around here, so you can go ahead. You shouldn't keep Noire waiting for too long; she won't stop complaining if you do."
"Yeah, I can sort of see that happening." Nepgear lets out an embarrassed laugh, the sound far more pleasing than it should be for the ravenette's ears. "But, goodness, I'm really sorry for cutting this short. See you next week?"
"I don't see why not," Uni replies, her lips parting into a small grin. "I mean, we've been at this for a while. Sunday is pretty much Gearday for me by now."
The lilac-haired girl's response is only the sweetest giggle the Lastationite Candidate has heard all month. "Well, I have fun with that, too. Um, until next time, then!"
With a wave of her hand that the ravenette returns, Nepgear seemingly forgets that she can fly and takes off towards the metallic double doors leading to the stairs. Scarlet eyes follow her until the moment she pushes the doors open and goes on her way, disappearing from sight.
And that's the end of it.
"..."
Annoyance replaces what once was cheeriness, just in time for Uni to groan. In the end, she couldn't even turn this romantic for a single second. It was just a particularly eventful friendly outing.
Then there was that issue with the stalking... and Uni knows of only one person connected to Nepgear who'd be able to turn this supposed date into spicy gossip.
Honestly, there was no hope for the best end. Not unless the ravenette just up and confessed her undying love in front of nearly everybody she knew.
She's not brave enough for that.
Fortunately, Uni was smart enough to think of a panic button beforehand. Good thing she's working with the one person who manages Noire's schedule.
"I know you're shy and all, but I can't say I expected you to say the code like that. At least not so soon."
"Recognizing a lost cause might as well be my specialty by this point, and that sure looked like one. Thanks for coming up with that, by the way." Leaning forward with her elbows on the railing, the girl takes from her inventory a box of pocky she bought earlier. "Besides, at least I'll be on her mind like this. Better than running into someone else and dividing her attention."
"That's... quite a way to see it."
"Hey, as long as it works." Shrugging, Uni flips the box open with her thumb, eyeing the contents.
"I'm not saying it's bad, little sister. Heck, I'm taking notes later. I just think it's kinda weird to see you giving up like this."
"I had my reasons." Bringing the box to her mouth, the ravenette takes a single pocky with her teeth. "Anyway, show's over. You can go home now if you want; my sister would probably enjoy the company, even if she says otherwise."
"... Your words give me much more hope than you might realize. I think I'll be doing just that. Be home before dinner, okay?"
"Yes, yes..." Uni replies dismissively, earning herself an amused chuckle from the other girl. A short "beep" afterwards signals the end of long-range conversations for the day.
The spectacle finally comes to an end, just in time for the sun far away to disappear in the horizon, leaving behind a dark night illuminated by the city's lights.
That's that, then.
A chuckle sounds.
"I wonder where K-Sha was watching from. Maybe it was just a bad angle... I mean, she's not the kind of person who'd miss something like this."
Uni looks downwards, towards the shadowed spot hidden behind the department store's big logo.
Purple Heart eyes her back from just a meter away, the stone-faced CPU looking as if she's staring into the abyss itself.
Good.
"Say, since Nepgear's gone, why don't we hang out a bit? I have a great subject in mind for a conversation."
She smiles sweetly like an angel, and bites off the pocky like a demon.
"Since you love talking so much."
