With a resounding smash! Harry's queen shattered the knight that had been guarding Sirius' king. Jumping up from his chair in triumph, he was startled by the sudden crack announcing the arrival of Remus Lupin and managed to trip over his own left foot, landing clumsily in a heap on the floor.
"Oof," Harry exhaled sharply as he fell, wincing at the shooting pain in his right hip.
"Harry!"
Sirius rushed forward in a futile attempt to rescue him from the fall as Lupin, stunned by the unexpected commotion, stared down at the slightly dazed teen. Reaching up to take Sirius' outstretched hand, Harry allowed himself to be hoisted to his feet, rubbing his hip furiously to alleviate the sting while hiding his face flushed with embarrassment.
"I'm okay. Hello Professor Lupin."
Remus gave him an amused smile as Sirius winked at his old friend before shaking his head playfully.
"Tsk tsk, Moony. We don't need to frighten the poor lad to death before lunch, do we?"
Lupin looked at Harry fondly and reached out to ruffle the unruly black hair. Grinning shyly, Harry ducked, happy to see the older man again.
"I'm sorry to have surprised you like that, Harry. I've long felt that an incoming apprarition should be heralded by bells ringing or monks chanting. Much more civilized that way."
Harry stared up at the tall shabbily dressed man as if he had gone mental, his eyes wide and disbelieving until he heard Sirius snicker and realized belatedly that Lupin was just teasing him.
"And, as I am not your teacher anymore, you can just call me Remus, alright?"
"Um..yeah, okay". Harry scrunched up his face a little. He felt awkward using such a familiar address for the man who had been his favorite teacher.
Remus had walked over to Sirius and clapped him on the shoulder surveying the much healthier looking face and body of the long time prisoner.
"How are you doing, old friend?"
Sirius returned the affectionate gesture with a broad smile. "Better and better every day." He hesitated slightly catching a subtle look on Remus' face and cautiously proceeded, "I could ask you the same question, I think."
Remus smiled weakly, his eyes betraying his less than truthful response.
"Well, you know how it is."
Seeing Harry listening intently, he continued with a false cheerfulness. "Not to worry though. Everything always works out. It's no different this time."
Sirius gave the other man's shoulder a comforting squeeze and what he hoped was an encouraging look. He had seen Remus experience too much prejudice and disappointment to not recognize the mood. He would talk to him later and attempt to once again persuade his oldest friend to accept the financial support that his pride demanded he repeatedly refuse.
"Harry and I were just having a game of wizard's chess," Sirius said cheerfully, wanting to lighten the mood. "You'll be happy to know that I still play appallingly bad and that he has inherited James' cleverness for the game. Perhaps you would be willing to give him stiffer competition?"
Grateful for the change in topic and eager to engage in the more familiar easy banter that he and Sirius had re-established, Remus cocked one eyebrow and gazed at Harry in mock intimidation.
"Indeed I would. Can't have him getting too big of a head, now can we?"
The boy blushed from the mild teasing, but he was grinning widely. Just being around the two of them somehow made him feel closer to his dad. They were a living link to the father he didn't remember, and even though he didn't really know either of them particularly well, it already felt more comfortable when he was with them than he ever did with the Dursleys.
******HP********
"Harry, really. That is your fourth piece! Don't you think that is a bit too much? You'll make yourself ill."
Remus watched in slightly disapproving amazement as the boy cut another slice of the treacle tart for himself and dashed back into the living room. In the middle of the room, the holographic Quidditch game that he was playing came to life once more as he called out 'Mount your brooms!'
"Leave him alone, Moony", Sirius smiled fondly at Harry while watching him move from side to side, his body's motions controlling the virtual Seeker on the game's home team. "He's playing professional Quidditch for Merlin's sake!. He needs all the energy that he can get."
Sirius' eyes were bright with mischief and he was still giddy over having acquired the game for his godson. A brand new product from Quality Quidditch Supplies in Diagon Alley, the intricate spellwork was meant to be a training program of sorts for kids, but it also served as some indoor fun for a thirteen-year-old boy cooped up in his detested relatives' house.
"If he needs energy, he would have been better off eating some of that excellent lunch we had, instead of filling up on all of those sweets."
Lupin's words were slightly scolding, but his face showed a hint of amusement.
"He's on his summer holiday," Sirius protested, rolling his eyes at what a spoilsport his friend was being. "Let him have fun. He's only young just the one time, you know."
Raising his hands in surrender, Remus backed off. The knowing look of a teacher used to dealing with cranky hormonal adolescents very apparent on his face.
"Okay, okay. But when he sicks up in the loo or you have to scrape him up off of the carpet when he collapses after that sugar rush, don't say that I didn't warn you."
Sirius snorted a bit with laughter. "Fine, fine. Warning acknowledged. Honestly, Moony, when did you become such an insufferable little nanny goat?"
Lupin didn't have the chance to answer as, at that moment, they were both startled by a loud crashing sound followed by a even louder curse.
"Bugger me!"
Harry sat dazed on the carpet, furiously rubbing the spot on the side of his head where he fell into one of the armchairs after attempting to simulate the Wronski Feint.
Remus looked at Sirius expectantly but was met with only a look of confusion on Sirius' part.
"What?"
"Aren't you going to check on him?"
Sirius was truly baffled by Remus' inquiry. It's not like the boy had fallen from the sky or anything. It was just a little roughhousing in their own home. Surely Harry would survive it without Sirius hovering over him.
"Why?" he protested, a smile of incredulity on his face. "I can see him from here. He looks perfectly fine."
When Remus kept his disapproving gaze directed steadily at him, Sirius sighed in slight annoyance and capitulated. It wasn't worth bickering over.
"Very well. Alright in there, Harry?" he called, never leaving Remus' stare.
"Yeah, I'm okay."
Sirius shrugged his shoulders. "You see. He's okay"
Remus said nothing, although he noticed that Harry had sufficiently had the wind knocked out of him enough to cause him to pause the game. He was sitting on the floor, still gently massaging the side of his head and picking at the remnants of his tart.
The former professor shook his head slightly as he raised his teacup to take a bracing drink of the fragrant peppermint liquid and was clearly irritated enough to make Sirius rolled his eyes again.
"Alright, out with it."
"Hmm? What? Out with what?" Remus feigned innocence as he took another sip. Sirius was going to have to get there on his own.
"I know you too well, old man. Out with whatever pearls of wisdom you are dying to impart to me. Just say it already."
Remus just blinked his eyes rapidly and continued to facially express his innocence. "Hmm, what? I wasn't going to say anything, anything at all."
Sirius waited….
"It's just that," Remus hedged dramatically, "I feel badly for his teachers next term. After all, they are the ones who are going to have to deal with him after he spends his summer running amok, going on sugar binges and swearing like a sailor. He'll hardly be the same boy they knew last year."
Sirius threw his head back and let out a hearty barking laugh.
"Honestly, Remus! Don't you think you are exaggerating just a bit?" he scoffed. "Swearing like a sailor? Really, now. What has gotten into you? True, you always were the responsible one, but my goodness."
Remus just shrugged and took another sip of tea. "Bugger me, Sirius? Do you really want him to get into the habit of using expressions like that? I'm pretty sure that James' father would have put a bar of soap in his mouth if he spoke like that at home. Or your mouth as well, I think."
Sirius gave his friend an indulgent smile and conceded the point. "Probably. But," he narrowed his eyes, "I'm not James' father."
"No, of course not old friend," Remus conceded, seeing the sad look on Sirius' face from the mention of the man that he'd loved more than his own father. Even after all these years, the memory of him still hurt. "I never meant to imply that you were."
Sirius took the apology for what it was and nodded. Unwilling to push the topic any further, Remus smiled back and the two men spent the next hour in companionable conversation as they watched Harry resume his energetic virtual competition.
*******HP*******
Sirius ducked behind the sofa just in time to avoid being hit by the acid green blast of paint. Slowly raising the thick wand-like object in his hand, he peered around the side furtively. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small movement in the direction of the kitchen counter. With a quick jerk of his wrist, he released a high speed glob of florescent orange too late to hit the moving target. It landed with a dull splat and started to drip towards the floor.
A muffled giggle sounded from the direction of his missed shot.
After nearly two hours of hunting each other with a pair of Zonko's paint wands, the living room, kitchen and study were covered in brightly hued splotches and glowing footprints. Sirius was exhausted but quite jolly. It felt good to act young and carefree again.
Listening carefully for any noise from his quarry, Sirius went into a crouch before launching himself quickly towards the kitchen, intending to shoot around the corner of the counter. In mid dash, Harry's faster Seeker reflexes allowed him to propel himself up over the counter and he released a jet of paint directly into the back of Sirius' head, knocking the man over onto his stomach. Conceding defeat, Sirius let out a strangled laugh as he regained his breath.
"Nice one, James."
Smiling broadly, he lay on the floor a moment, panting slightly, before pushing himself back up to his feet. Turning around he saw Harry standing stock still, paint wand dangling from his right hand, a peculiar expression on his face.
"What's the matter?" Sirius' voice held an amused tone.
Harry dropped his eyes to his feet and attempted to feign nonchalance. "Nothing."
Sirius wasn't fooled. Only a few seconds ago Harry had been having a marvelous time. A bit concerned, he made his way across the room and reached out to lift Harry's chin up. He gazed down at the boy, a half smile on his face, his gray eyes twinkling.
"You can do better than that. Try again."
Harry looked nervously at his godfather for a second before lowering his eyes again. Finally, at length, he answered.
"You called me James."
Sirius exhaled sharply.
Had he?
Yes, actually he had.
It was an honest slip of the tongue. An afternoon of adolescent amusement had transported him back to his school days and, in a fit of frivolity, his subconscious mind must have mistaken Harry's familiar face for that of his lost friend.
"Oh, Harry. I am sorry."
Attempting to lighten the mood, Sirius playfully whacked himself in the head with his paint wand and made crazy eyes. "I'm afraid the senility has started to set in. I'm quite ancient already, you know."
Reaching out, he ruffled Harry's hair affectionately and gave him a quick wink when the boy raised his eyes again.
"Do you want to have another go? Give the old man a chance to get even?"
Harry shook his head and turned away. "No. Not now. I'm a bit tired. I think I'll just rest a while before tea."
Sirius frowned but nodded his head. He knew that he'd made quite a misstep, but didn't really know how to fix it.
"Alright. If that's what you want. Here, let me just tidy you up a bit."
Pulling his real wand from waistband, he swished it gracefully in the air as he cast a silent cleansing charm over Harry. In the blink of an eye, all of the vibrantly colored drops of paint vanished, leaving him as good as new. When he was done, Harry turned and made his way slowly down the hall, closing his bedroom door behind him with a soft click.
*******HP*******
Alone in his room, Harry climbed onto his bed, grabbing one of his fluffy feather pillows and holding it tightly against his chest. He bit his cheek and fought back the hot tears that threatened to spring into his eyes.
It had been such a nice day. He loved being with his godfather.
They got on so well, or so he thought.
Harry had spent most of their hours together laughing and genuinely feeling happy for the first time in his life outside of school. Bitterly he realized that, of course, Sirius wasn't spending time with him, Harry was just a substitute for his father.
How stupid of him to think otherwise.
He knew he should just be grateful. Sirius obviously took his promise to Harry's parents...seriously. As soon as he had been able, he'd given Harry a home and treated him very well. Harry would just have to content himself with that much.
It was more than he ever received from the Dursleys and it would have to be enough.
In his study, Sirius continued to mentally reprimand himself. He knew that Harry was more upset over the slip than he was willing to let on and felt wretched that he was to blame for taking the smile from the boy's face.
Harry didn't get enough chances to smile, he thought.
It was certainly true that Sirius missed James terribly. A large part of himself died the day that Voldemort cast his killing curse in Godric's Hollow. Sirius was terribly haunted by the years in Azkaban when he had been forced to relive the memory of finding James and Lily dead over and over again.
But James was gone and Sirius was set on doing the only thing left he could for his dearest friend. He would dedicate his life to caring for James' son and try to be for Harry what his fallen brother-in-all-but-name would have been.
And really, it wasn't such a chore.
Harry was a great kid.
Watching him, Sirius could see that he had inherited James' bravery and fierce loyalty and Lily's innate goodness. But also, like every child, Harry had his own personality traits.
He wasn't quite as confident as James had been and, for a boy his age, Harry was excessively shy and contemplative. It was clear when you looked into his eyes that he'd not had a carefree childhood. If anyone could recognize that, it was his kindred spirit of a godfather who'd never known love in the home of his youth.
Since they'd arrived at Privet Drive, Sirius had been trying very diligently to make their home life as jolly as possible and now, with one careless sentence, he had mucked things up utterly.
Leaning forward in his chair, Sirius reached out and grabbed the antique silver frame on the corner of his desk. The photo was of James and himself taken during their fourth year at Hogwarts. They were not much older than Harry was now. In it, the two stood side by side, their arms slung over each others shoulders, grinning madly.
Sirius traced a long finger across the faces of the boys, his eyes tearing over, a melancholy grin on his face.
In his room, Harry was still sitting dejectedly on his bed, pillow firmly in his grasp. He wouldn't go out for tea, he decided. He'd been taking up enough of Sirius' time. Surely the man needed a few moments for himself and Harry was determined to not be a bother if he could help it.
He was startled out of his brooding by a knock on his door. Keeping still and silent, he waited as Sirius entered his bedroom, a silver frame in his hand.
"Do you mind if I come in for a moment?"
Harry shook his head and his godfather made his way across the room and sat gently next to him on the bed.
"I wanted to show you something."
Holding out the picture frame, Sirius nodded encouragingly at Harry to take from him. Harry reached for it tentatively and took a look at the moving photo and then exhaled deeply. The resemblance between his father and himself was striking.
"We were fourth years here," Sirius said, smiling nostalgically "I remember this day like it was yesterday. We had just finished exams and were so happy that all the studying was over for another year. It was beautiful outside and we were getting ready to go flying around the lake. Nothing made your father happier than flying."
He paused and let his memories flood over him for a moment. It was both wonderful and painful to think of his friends.
Well," he finally chuckled softly, "nothing until he married your Mum."
Harry looked up at his godfather then, his green eyes reminding the man so much of Lily that it was physically painful. Sirius reached out to brush an affectionate hand across the boy's messy hair.
"But," he continued with emotion choking up his voice, "even that paled in comparison to how truly elated he was the day you were born. I swear he was almost ready to jump right out of his skin with love and pride. No one ever loved a child the way James loved you, Harry. He was fiercely protective right from the start."
Sirius stopped and painfully swallowed the enormous lump that had risen in his throat. He took a brief moment to compose himself again, not wanting to break down into a mess of tears in front of the boy. Instead, he forced a smile on his face and pulled comfort from a happy memory.
"You know, when the healer came and tried to take you back to the nursery James threatened to hex her into next week," he laughed, remembering how fervently his best friend had guarded the small, black haired bundle in his arms. "Very few people were allowed to come near you. Your mother finally had to persuade him that the healers should be in the inner circle. Even I had trouble getting a cuddle with you at first. James looked at me like I was going to sell you to the goblins."
Harry let out a small chuckle at the image of his father hexing healers and potential visitors and the two of them shared a wordless moment until Sirius became quiet once more, his eyes sad as he looked at Harry.
"I don't need photos to remember your Dad," he said as he took Harry's chin in his hand. "All I have to do is close my eyes and I can clearly recall every moment we had together. I loved your father as my own brother. He was my best friend in the world. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him."
Harry's face pinched into a frown from the look of pain on his godfather's face. Sirius was someone that Harry could share his grief over the loss of parents with. Not a day went by that he didn't think of them either.
"He gave me his companionship," Sirius continued. "The affection of a real brother, not like the way the brother that I had by blood treated me, and when my home became too horrible to endure, he shared his with me as well. Because of him, I had surrogate parents who showed me affection when I thought myself unworthy to receive any."
By this point, Sirius was shaking slightly. Overcome with emotion, he roughly cleared his throat and continued.
"So, forgive me Harry. Sometimes it is just very difficult for me to stop thinking about him. Sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, I see you gesture like he would have or make a face that he used to and subconsciously my mind races with the memories. You see, losing him was just too cruel and I don't always let myself believe that he is really gone for good. I am truly sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean it."
He stopped speaking, taking a shuddering breath and looked at Harry with pleading eyes.
Harry swallowed hard and for the first time realized how difficult everything must be for his godfather. He thought about how he would feel if anything bad happened to Ron. Ron was to Harry everything that Harry's father had been to Sirius. How would he react around a look alike son if, heaven forbid, some tragedy befell his best friend?
He shivered and pushed the thought out of his mind, reaching to take Sirius' long hand in his own small one.
"I don't mind, Sirius. You can call me James if you want to."
Sirius' eyes widened in disbelief. That wasn't at all what he wanted and it made him feel even more guilty over his actions that Harry would think that. He took his hand from Harry's and placed both of his on the boy's shoulders holding him tightly.
"No, Harry. You are not James," he said firmly, wanting there to be no misunderstanding. "You are Harry. Your own person with your own worth. It's true that I miss him. But when I look at you, when we are doing something together, when I embrace you, I see you, not him. Okay?"
Breathing deeply in relief, Harry nodded. When Sirius enveloped his shoulders in an embrace, Harry threw his arms around his godfather and squeezed tightly, his world righted again.
