I promised to update something, so here it is. I'm actually working on a couple of chapters for a couple of other stories so updates will be coming. I just can't promise when.

I'm trying to finish a romantic suspense and an historical in a timely manner so the fanfic writing will be spotty at best. The good news is it's been long enough since the show ended, I can actually look at my AU's as separate entities from The Mentalist and not feel weird since they don't fit the show's storyline in anyway. It's strange; but, knowing the ending messed with my head where finishing my fanfics was concerned.

As for my novels, they are what they are. The least I'm hoping for is to eventually have enough of a body of works out there to quite my day job. If I can do that down the road, I'll be happy. Anything more is a blessing.

Thanks for all the encouragement. It's always appreciated. ~Calla


Falling back, Jane watched Lisbon walk to her desk well aware of the attention she was attracting. While there was no denying she'd gained a few pounds over the past few months, there wasn't anything unusual about that. Especially not this time of year. Even Lisbon wasn't impervious to occassionally packing on an extra pound or two in the Holiday Season. Or so everyone thought until today.

Now they knew differently.

There was no way that particular rounding out could be interpreted as anything but what it was: the dreaded baby pooch. Lisbon's words, not his…And not that dreaded by either of them except it outted them in ways nothing else could…The jig was up and his wife wasn't fighting it…She wouldn't have worn that body skimming maternity tee accentuating her expanding curves if she was.

Watching Chloe, the self-professed leader of the Perpetually Nosey Pack, approach Lisbon's desk, Jane prepared to interceded if things got out of hand. The carrot topped, bespeckled, pinch-faced snoop was worse than a cadaver dog when she caught whiff of a "scent." She didn't let up until she got her story and she wouldn't let up on this one. It was far too juicy. Or dangerous.

Jane wasn't sure which.

From the look on her face, Lisbon might gut her adversary with a rusty butter knife in plain view before she was done. The thought was definitely crossing her mind. Fortunately, Chloe wasn't the first misguided gossip hound to approach his wife. That honor belonged to the intrepid Forensic Ghoul who worked Serial Killings. As crazy as it seemed considering he was a guy, Jane understood his daring. Harper and Lisbon were fairly close.

Not close enough to let him in on their secret.

But, close enough to hang out and have lunch together. Jane hadn't been too sure how he felt about that initially. Not until he'd noticed the wedding band and saw the man with his wife at the Feeb's Christmas Party. He might be a real creeper standing over a bloody body; but, Jedediah H. left his enthusiasm for his work at the office. Out in public, he was just another witty nerd head over heels for his bride. Strangely enough, Jane liked him. Macabre sense of humor and all. They both did. But, that didn't mean he was getting the scoop. Nothing beyond the obvious.

Yes, Lisbon had a bun in the oven…No, she wasn't telling who put it there.

Not until somebody used the brain God gave them and looked at his hand. Honestly, they'd have to look at her hand first. No-one had even noticed she was married. The women were too busy taking in her belly and the guys, well, they were too busy taking in other things. He was already tempted to smack a couple of the more flagrant gawkers up side the head. The only thing stopping him was Lisbon wouldn't appreciate his chivalry. She was more than capable fo taking care of herself. An advancing pregnancy hadn't suddenly rendered her helpless. She'd reminded of that on several occassions.

He'd wisely agreed even while carrying her to bed after a debilitating round of morning sickness.

Things were just easier that way. Fortunately, the nastiness hadn't lasted that long and Lisbon had bounced back pretty fast before anyone noticed she was under the weather. It was in their favor she usually suffered more at night than during the day anyway. It was in his favor she preferred to deal with her issues at home alone at her place. He hadn't liked it; but, he'd respected her wishes up to a point.

While they were married and secretly gestating, they weren't living together. Not openly. They couldn't. Not if they wanted to keep their secret.

They were sneaking around like two horny teenagers slipping out their bedroom windows. Personally, he didn't give a Tinker's dam what anyone thought about their romantic situation. If it was up to him, they'd have cohabitated from "I do." It wasn't. It was up to his pregnant wife so he'd fallen in line.

Their lives were stressful enough between work and sins of omission without adding to the cause.

However, all bets were off on the particularly bad days he could spot without even trying. He'd gotten to know that faint purple tinge clashing so grotesquely with the green of her eyes. On the days he spotted that tell, his formidable will quickly overrode her fear they'd get busted and Lisbon gave in without a fight. She'd snuggle down to await the inevitable knowing her other half would either invite himself over for the night or take her to his place. Jane gladly admitted he was happy he didn't have to worry about that anymore. If he'd thought Angela was bad; Lisbon was worse.

Much worse and he didn't like it.

Shaking out of his thoughts, Jane turned his attention back to the scene unfolding before him. Whatever Lisbon just growled had Chloe slinking back to her desk like a frightened rabbit. If he didn't miss his guess, he'd say that was the last time she'd be bothered for an hour or two. It would take the impatiently curious a good hour or two to gather the courage to launch round two of "Poke Lisbon with a Verbal Stick". Until then, he'd hang out and watch the floor show. Oh, and wait for the other shoe to drop. Smirking nastily, Jane had no doubts something unpleasant was hitting that fan before the day was over.

"Hello, My Dear." Jane sat on the edge of Lisbon's desk and held out the mug in his hands. "I thought you might appreciate this."

"You thought right." Standing up, Lisbon took the coffee from his hand knowing a shot of caffeine was the last thing she needed but craving it. "I thought that snake in the grass would never shut up. Chloe honestly thought she could trick me into revealing my baby's father. It would take someone smarter than her to do that. I finally offered to face plant her in the ladie's room toilet if she didn't leave me the hell alone so she slithered away."

Taking a sip of tea, Jane silently decided that would do the trick. Especially considering Chloe wouldn't know if she was serious or not. Honestly, he didn't know. Pregnancy hormones were unpredictable and Lisbon's patience was limited on a good day. Personally, he wouldn't push her nearly as far as Bunny Girl had. He'd learned that one the hard way. Looking up, Jane resisted the urge to say, "Uh-Oh" as he saw Cho rounding the corner. From the look on his face, he'd already heard the skuttlebutt and he was intent on checking the veracity of it. Catching his eye, Jane knew they were so busted before the Korean's eyes ever rose from Lisbon's belly to his finger.

Cho closed his eyes and wished to God he was dreaming. He'd been afraid of this for years. He'd just never believed it could happen. Lisbon was way to smart to tangle with Jane. Even if a part of her loved him. Even if a part of him loved her. He'd known that for years. Everyone had. But, Lisbon and Jane had seemed oblivious. Right. Like he'd really believed that either. They just hadn't been willing to act on it. Lisbon was too skittish about romance and Jane had unfinished business. Well, from the size of her belly, his old boss had gotten over her qualms and Jane had decided to live again.

"You have matching wedding bands." Leave it to Cho to notice what nobody else did. "Why didn't any of you idiots notice the rings instead of trying to figure out Lisbon's imaginary lover? It's not like they were trying to hide it."

Jane rolled his eyes at the Korean Agent. If any of their co-workers took offense at being labeled an idiot they weren't saying a word. Frankly, they were all probably feeling like idiots right about now. If this got out, they'd be the laughing stock of Law Enforcement. So much for being the best of the best. If an office of highly trained Agents couldn't figure out two of their co-workers had gotten hitched over the last three hours...

He'd leave the rest of that sentence unsaid.

"And you two," Cho turned his attention to them. "How stupid can you get?"

Quirking a brow, Jane was mildly surprised to hear the same sentiment echoed from across the room. Turning, he wasn't all that surprised to see Abbott standing in the midst of their co-workers looking none-too-pleased. It wasn't like he didn't recognize the voice. Taking Lisbon's hand in his, the Mentalist assumed the smart-assed, cheeky Jane expression their Boss expected as he rose to his feet and set his tea aside.

The dreaded "Pay-The-Piper" moment had finally arrived although Jane suspected it wouldn't be as bad as Lisbon expected. Or, it could be worse. Who knew? Abbott could be a tough cookie to read. He certainly wasn't getting a feel off his current Poker face.

However, he'd bet a dollar to a doughnut, the man already knew they were sneaking around for a little illicit hanky panky on the side. Not suspected. Actually knew. Even if he wouldn't admit it. Abbott was highly observant. He wouldn't be where he was if he wasn't. He was also smart enough to ignore headaches he didn't want to handle until he had to. Nobody really cared if they were getting it on behind closed doors.

Not until their private antics impacted their public lives.

He didn't have to be a Jane to know Lisbon's pregnancy met that condition and the crap just hit the fan.