Hey,
So first of I would like to apologize for not updating in forever. Life has been a soap opera. My dad had surgery, I started school last week, I was gone on a random vacation thing last weekend, so I am very very sorry, I just literally have not had the time . :(
Second, I want to know if people are still reading this? I know it's hard to stick with a story when the chapters and not updated often, and I have no one to blame but myself. Please be upfront with me too. I've beening toying with the idea of just deleting this story, beta-ing it, and starting over. But don't worry, I would re-post the story. I know I"ve said this before but I'm a bit more serious about doing it this time.
CHAPTER 20 - Riot - Three Days Grace/ Nobody's Listening - Linkin Park
Catherine looked over at Sara. She walked over to her. "Sara would you just tell us why you get so involved in cases like this? We're your friend's Sara!"
Sara just closed her eyes for a moment. "I will Cath but just not right now okay. Please just leave it alone."
Catherine, seeing how hard Sara had tried to keep her cool couldn't bring herself to be frustrated anymore. "Alright."
Sara's eye's popped open. She thought for sure Catherine would have demanded an answer right there, but she hadn't.
"Okay um well if you don't mind I'm gonna head back to the lab, I just need some fresh air right now. I'll be back in a half hour to pick you up is that alright?"
"Yeah sure Sara." Nick said walking over to them. "We can just hitch a ride with Brass okay? No biggie."
"Thanks." Sara said softly as she headed out. Once in the suv she pulled out her cell phone and called Grissom.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sara leaned up against the suv outside of the lab. Grissom came out and gave her a warm smile.
"I'm gonna do, Griss." She said, looking him in the eye.
"You're going to do what?" He asked her, a quizzical look on his face.
"I'm going to tell them. Everything. I'm going to sit them all down, I'm gonna tell them to just shut up and let me talk and I'm going to tell them why I get so emotionally involved in cases."
Grissom smiled.
"What?" Sara asked.
"Good luck getting Catherine to sit down and be quiet."
Sara even smiled at that. "Are you with me on this?"
"Of course Sara, I'm 100% behind you. If you back out, not saying you going to, but not matter what you decide to do I'll be right there with you okay?" Grissom said placing his hand's on her shoulders.
"Okay." Sara said and kissed him.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Abby went into her room, popped in a cd and sat on her bed laptop in hand. She checked her e-mail to find a new message from Sara. It was all her flight information and her ticket.
They had finally decided on a date for the wedding. It would three weeks from that day. Sara wrote that it would be pretty close but both her and Grissom had agreed that they had waited long enough.
Abby smiled at the thought of them together. She sighed. She leaned her head up against the wall. She couldn't believe she was thinking of doing this. But right now, she felt like she had to, like it was the only way out.
She hit reply on the e-mail from Sara. She took and deep breathe and started typing.
'I can't believe I'm doing this. This weekend I've been by myself a lot and I've been thinking, which is probably a bad but anyways.
I was thinking, here I am, almost 16 years old and I spend my weekend's at home. I've never gone out with friends, well never had any to go out with. I've never had a birthday party in my life. I've never had a sleep over with anyone other then family.
I've never been to a school dance and I won't even have a prom to go to my senior year. My parent's have to take a couple days to think about letting me go to a movie by myself, hello almost 16!
I'm afraid to ask my parent's if my friend online can send me a birthday present because technically my friend's online aren't even supposed to know how old I am.
The other day my mom told me, again, that I probably won't be a 'social butterfly' like my sister, but she thinks I'll do fine. I don't get how she can shelter and over protect me so much but then expect me to go out and make a bunch of friends.
I know I've probably told you all this stuff before but it just help's to talk about it, well in this case type but whatever, you get the point.
I've changed a lot these past couple of weeks. I don't know what changed but I'm just different. I'm not really happy I guess.
Everything is fine for the most part but then again it's not fine. I don't know.
I know that I talk about all the bad stuff and there are a lot of good things too. I know my family love's me but it's not the same kind of love like it was when I was little.
When I was younger I used hate it when my parent's where mad at me or made at each other. Especially when my mom and sister fought. I hated it. I hated seeing them yell at each other.
And I guess because of that, I'm not like that. If I'm mad at someone I can't stay mad at them. No matter how hard I try, I just can't. It's not in me to be angry.
So I keep it all inside. I won't argue with my mom, sometimes I will but not often. If something is bothering my I'll just go into my room, but on some music and just write.
About anything. It doesn't matter. I'll write a story or write about how I feel. I'll just sit down and write for however long.
I love being able to just go sit down and write to pages easy.
When I was little I thought everything was just perfect in life. But the older I got more I realized it wasn't. And I guess every kid does.
When I was a kid I thought that lying to your parent's was about one of the worst thing's you could do. I thought that listening to music when they swore was just so bad.
But now, I lie to my parent's all the time and it doesn't bother me. I listen to music where they swear and I don't care. (By the way I'm not trying to rhyme!) And even in my journal I'll throw in a couple swear words here and there.
When you're a kid your biggest worry is if you're going to get that new toy for your birthday. You don't worry about impressing your parent's because they aren't expecting much from you.
You don't worry about money or getting a job. You don't care about the latest fashion trend. You don't worry about getting good grades in school.
I want to be a kid again. I don't want to listen to all the crap my parent's talk to me about. I don't want to hear about how wonderful my sister is. I don't want to get in trouble if I don't help my sister clean up her stuff.
I don't want to lie to my parent's. I don't want to be the way I am. I guess every teenager goes thru this. But even though I know that a lot of other people go thru this I still feel so alone.
I'm sick of feeling like this. I'm tired of everything. I don't want to live my life the way I am right now.
So I decided to do something about it.
I'm taking a chance and running with it. It's something I've thought about for a long time and now I've decided to do it.
I'm not scared anymore.'
Abby put her name at the bottom, read it one time thru and hit send. She still couldn't believe she was going to do this.
For once in her life she was risking everything and she didn't care.
