Well everyone, I'm back once again. Yep, I'm back with ANOTHER chapter of Season 2 of this very epic miniseries. In this chapter, Stewie Griffin shall turn a simple trip to get snacks into ANOTHER act of homicide. His next opponent is not one but TWO people who are known for slacking off during work and playing video games. Who are they? Who will win this next battle? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. I'm not going to spoil it all for you now. It would not be very nice of me, would it? No, no it would not be very nice of me. Well, what on Earth are we all waiting for? Let's all begin chapter 5 of Season 2 of this very epic miniseries...

Wiz: They both have amazing skills, they both can drive a vehicle very fast, and they also want to kill each other.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin, everyone's favorite homicidal baby…

Wiz: And Mordecai and Rigby, two guys who love video games.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a "Death Battle"!

Introduction to Stewie Griffin:

Boomstick: Ah, good old Stewie Griffin. You never know what'll happen when messing with this kid! Needless to say, he LOVES fighting in these "Death Battles" and this is fifteenth battle to the death…

Wiz: We already introduced Stewie Griffin in the last season of "Death Battle", but we still have to do it again due to the rules of "Death Battle".

Boomstick: To make it short and sweet on my part, Stewie Griffin is a homicidal baby that wants complete world domination!

Wiz: This one-year-old is not meant to be messed with. If you do mess with him, he'll probably kill you. Not joking, he WILL kill you if provoked.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin is the youngest member of the Griffin family, but don't yet his young appearance fool you. He's a damn psychopath!

Wiz: Born on June 30 1999, Stewie Griffin has a very sophisticated psyche and is able to speak fluently in an upper-class English accent. When he was born, his birth doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois, his mother.

Boomstick: From that day on, he was shown not to be a normal kid, but a kid with the mind of a criminal. His weapon arsenal is full of classic weapons. These weapons include a machine gun, a tommy gun, a chainsaw, a machete, a flame thrower, a rocket launcher, a crossbow, a laser gun, a few hand grenades, a handgun, and even a harpoon gun. This is one of the reasons you should think twice about messing with Stewie!

Wiz: Not to mention his abilities! He can run fast, jump high, trick his enemies, punch hard, kick hard, and even bite hard. He can yell or curse up a storm, and he can even invent things.

Boomstick: Over the years of the "Family Guy" show, Stewie has invented many futuristic inventions, such as a mind controlling device, a carbonite freeze gun, a hypnotic control device, a hovering drill machine, a teleporter device, a multiverse traveler, a Peter-Bot, a clone machine, rocket skis, a weather device, and even a God-damn time machine! Wow, this is one badass little kid.

Wiz: His inventions are very cool and technologically advanced, and he uses them multiple times. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Stewie can't use his time machine. But he can use any of his other inventions.

Boomstick: This all proves one thing…if you want to bully a kid, please make sure that kid is not Stewie.

Wiz: However, he's not PERFECT. When his friend Brian gets into a dangerous situation, its been shown since Stewie and Brain are friends, Stewie CAN get distracted from any of his battles to help save Brian.

Boomstick: Wait, what?! Why on Earth does he care so much at Brian?

Wiz: Well, in one episode, he mentions that because of neglect from Peter, his father, he sees Brain as a fatherly figure, more than Peter. So, because of this, Stewie can get emotional and weak sometimes.

Boomstick: But despite this, Stewie Griffin is still one badass kid!

Introductiom of Mordecai and Rigby:

Boomstick: Do you like video games? Do you like eating pizza and snacks? Do you like drinking soda? Do you like taking rides on a golf cart? Well then if you do, you should definitely be friends with Mordecai and Rigby.

Wiz: Mordecai and Rigby are two very good friends, who both like video games, sodas, snacks, and driving the golf cart very fast. They've been good friends since high school and college, and are still friends to this day.

Boomstick: Since Mordecai and Rigby both have different backstories and backgrounds, we won't be able to talk about them individually. However, we CAN talk about their abilities and skills before the "Death Battle" begins…

Wiz: First of all, it's been shown that they both have amazing skills when it comes to playing video games. They know several fighting combinations, several cheat codes, as well as many ways to defeat certain levels.

Boomstick: They can also drive the park's golf cart pretty well, doing several dangerous maneuvers, jumps into the air, spins, and even sharp turns. They can also dodge projectiles while in the golf cart, as well as catch up to their enemies in it.

Wiz: And sometimes, both Mordecai and Rigby can obtain temporary weapons or temporary powers. For example, in "Death Punchies", Rigby stole a page from a book, and learned that he needed a mullet and cutoffs to execute the Death Punch, becoming an expert. He conquered the park with his new punch, avenging his defeats and making the park workers his slaves. Mordecai then discovered the source of Rigby's powers and in response learns another "Death Kwon Do" move to defeat him.

Boomstick: And besides the other "Death Kwon Do" move that Mordecai once used, he's also very physically fit for unarmed hand-to-hand combat. He and Rigby can run fast, jump high, kick, punch, and smack their enemies.

Wiz: With all of these abilities and skills, Stewie Griffin surely has a lot to deal with when it comes to these opponents.

Boomstick: Let's see how well he does in this very epic battle to the death.

And now, the actual battle to the death…

(The scene begins with Stewie Griffin riding his rocket-powered bike down the streets. He stops at a red light near the fence of the park…)

Stewie: Man, I'm so hungry. I really need something to eat! (looks to the left and sees the park's snack stand in the distance) Hmmm, now that's an idea that I can live with! (turns to the left and drives into the park, towards the snack stand)

(Scene cuts to snack stand, where Mordecai and Rigby are standing around, bored, and waiting for customers…)

Mordecai: Ugh, man, this is such a boring job assignment!

Rigby: Yeah, I can't take it anymore! (bangs fist on table) I just want to have some excitement today!

Stewie (rides up to area around snack stand, stops bike, and steps off): Ah, perfect. Still open so I can purchase food! (walks up to the counter of the snack stand) Hello, good sirs.

Mordecai (looks down at Stewie): Oh, uh…hi there. How can we help you?

Stewie (looks up at menu): Hmm, let me see… I'll have 4 hot dogs, 2 bags of chocolate chip cookies, 2 soft pretzels, 6 bags of popcorn, an order of nachos and cheese sauce, 5 bags of cotton candy, 10 candy bars, 8 and a bottle of orange soda.

Rigby (nods and types order on the cash register): Well kid, your total comes to $76.34! (holds out hand): Pay up, please!

Stewie (reaches into his pockets and pulls out the 60 dollars): Here you go! (hands it to Rigby)

Rigby (counts the money): Uh, Mordecai, he's $16.34 short.

Mordecai (counts money): Hmmm, I see…(looks down at Stewie) Sorry kid, but you're $16.34 short. Sorry kid, but you won't be able to pay for your snacks. (hands 60 dollars back to Stewie)

Stewie (frowns and puts money back into his pocket): I'll be back…(glares at Mordecai and Rigby angrily and walks away)

Mordecai (as Stewie disappears from view): Rigby, I don't like the way that kid looked at me.

Rigby: Really? He didn't seem that creepy to me…

(At that point, "WHOOSH!", Rigby and Mordecai notice Benson's car speeding towards them…)

Mordecai and Rigby: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Stewie crashes the car into the snack stand, breaking the concrete counter, making snacks and condiments fall onto the ground, and causing tons of property damage. Mordecai and Rigby fall backwards from the force of the impact…)

Mordecai: What the heck?!

Rigby: Benson just tried to kill us!

Stewie (steps out of car): Actually, it wasn't Benson. It was me, Stewie Griffin. I killed that gumball machine-headed man!

Mordecai: Wait! You KILLED BENSON?!

Rigby: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Stewie (pulls out machine gun): Prepare to die, morons! (clocks gun) This'll teach you not to deny service to Stewie Griffin! (grins)

FIGHT!

Stewie (fires machine gun): DIE!

Mordecai (dodges bullets along with Rigby): Dude, relax! We can talk about this, okay!?

Stewie (stops firing machine gun): Hmmm…no. You denied me service, so now, I'm going to deny you of your life! (continues firing machine gun)

Rigby (holds up pizza box to stop bullets): Please! I'm too young to die!

Stewie (keeps firing machine gun): TOO BAD!

Mordecai: RIGBY, RUN! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

(Rigby and Mordecai get up and run out of the snack stand, get into the golf cart, and speed away…)

Stewie (drops machine gun and chases after them): GET BACK HERE! (grabs onto back to golf cart)

Rigby (sees Stewie in rear-view mirror): AAAAAHHHHH! MORDECAI, HE'S GRABBING ONTO THE CART! THROW HIM OFF!

Mordecai: I'LL TRY! (turns sharply left and right, trying to throw Stewie off, but to no avail) DUDE, HE'S NOT FALLING OFF!

Rigby: TRY HARDER, MORDECAI!

Stewie (jumps off back of golf cart and onto Mordecai, chocking him): DIE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! DIE!

Mordecai (chocking): Help…me…Rigby! (tries to yank Stewie off but to no avail)

Rigby: MORDECAI! (let's go of steering wheel and grabs onto Stewie, trying to yank him off of Mordecai) Let…him…go!

Stewie (does so): FINE! I'LL CHOKE YOU INSTEAD! (grabs Rigby and begins chocking him) DIE!

(Suddenly, the out-of-control golf cart slides off the paved road and crashes into the shallow lake nearby. Mordecai, Rigby, and Stewie get thrown off the cart and into the lake. Stewie continues to choke Rigby, holding him in a headlock. At that very moment, "SNAP!", Stewie pulls too hard and break's Rigby's neck, killing him instantly…)

Mordecai (gasps): RIGBY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Stewie (let's go of Rigby's dead body): YES! He's dead! (pulls out handgun) That's one down and one to go!

Mordecai (backs away in fear): Why are you doing this!?

Stewie: Are you seriously asking why I'm trying to kill you, piece of shit? You denied service to me! I was hungry and you said I didn't have enough money! (aims handgun)

Mordecai: Kid, chill out! You only had 60 dollars and your order was 76 dollars and 34 cents! You were 16 dollars and 34 cents short! You should've excluded parts of your order and could've paid for everything with no problems! (gets out of lake and runs off)

Stewie (fires handgun but misses): GET BACK HERE! (chases after Mordecai)

Mordecai (sees motorcycle in the distance): I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE! (jumps on motorbike and speeds away)

Stewie (gets onto his rocket-powered bike and speeds after Mordecai): LET ME KILL YOU! (continues firing handgun)

Mordecai (speeds down the road, passing by multiple vehicles, lampposts, and pedestrians): I got to lose him! But how?! (notices the entrance gates of "Warner Bros Studios" up ahead) Perfect! He'll never find me there! (speeds into metal entry gate, knocking it over, and entering the main studio grounds)

Security guard (falls over after Mordecai nearly hits him): WHAT THE HECK!? (gets up) Now that's something you don't see every day!

Stewie (speeds past the guard, still chasing after Mordecai): MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

Security Guard: OR THAT! (runs off in fear)

Mordecai (turns bike to the left, passing a wardrobe building and a random soundstage): Crap, that kid is still after me! (turns to the right as Stewie fires more bullets at him) Where am I going to hide?! (suddenly sees backlot up ahead with a filming crew using it for the live broadcast of "Grease: Live") Oh no… (speeds toward school carnival set in backlot area) I've got to warn everyone!

Director: And we're rolling the finale in 5…4…3…2…1…ACTION!

Ensemble cast on the set (dancing and singing): We go together,

Like rama lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong

Remembered forever,

As shoobop sha wadda wadda yippity boom de boom!

Chang chang changitty chang shoobop,

That's the way it should be, wha ooohhh,

Oh, yeah!

We're one of a kind,

Like dip da dip da dip doowop da doobee doo!

Our names are signed,

Boogedy boogedy boogedy boogedy shoobee doowop shebop!

Chang chang changitty chang shoobop,

We'll always be like one, wa wa wa one…

(Suddenly, Mordecai breaks down the fence and speeds onto the set, casuing many of the actors to fall over, interrupting the live broadcast of "Grease: Live"…)

Director: What the?! CUT! CUT! CUT THE CAMERAS! CUT! (jumps off chair and runs over to Mordecai as he stops the bike in the middle of the set) What the Hell are you doing out here!? This set is CLOSED OFF! I'm trying to film "Grease: Live", and here you are, causing trouble and interrupting my live broadcast! What is the meaning of this?!

Mordecai: Sir, this is an emergency! (snatches director's megaphone and turns it on) ATTENTION EVERYONE, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THERE'S A HOMICIDAL BABY ON THE LOOSE! RUN! NOW! GET OUT OF HERE WHILE YOU STILL CAN!

(All of the cast members and stagehands laugh, not thinking that Mordecai was serious…)

Aaron Tveit (as Danny Zuko) (laughs): AHAH! Very funny, sir! Look, I'm trying to enjoy my limelight here! Go away and stop playing games! This is just as bad as yelling "fire" in a theater!

Mordecai: Dude, I'm not joking around! EVERYONE, RUN! NOW! EVACUATE THE PREMISES!

(Suddenly, Stewie speeds into the backlot area, holding a Tommy gun. He stops his bike in the center of the set and stands up on the seat…)

Stewie (clocks Tommy gun): EVERYONE WHO IS NOT THE BLUE JAY, LEAVE NOW OR I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!

Aaron Tveit: HOLY CRAP, HE'S REAL! EVERYONE, RUN!

(The whole cast, the crew members, and the director run off in all directions, leaving Mordecai and Stewie all alone in the set of the school carnival…)

Stewie: So, you thought that you could escape me simply by running into this school carnival set, huh? (aims Tommy gun at Mordecai) Well, now I've caught you! It's time to die, you piece of shit!

Mordecai: Dude, please don't kill me! (drops megaphone) We can talk about this, okay!?

Stewie: Hmm…let me think…NO! (fires machine gun as Mordecai takes off running)

Mordecai: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (runs off but gets shot multiple times in the back, and falls over, still moaning while trying to crawl away)

Stewie (stops firing machine gun and walks over to Mordecai's weak body): Well, well, well, it looks like it's time to die! (pulls out knife) Any last words?

Mordecai (suddenly remembering his "Death Kwon Do" move from the past): Yes…THIS! (sits up quickly and punches Stewie in the stomach, sending him flying through the air, hitting one of the carnival rides)

Stewie (face reddens): BIG MISTAKE! (jumps off carnival ride and tackles Mordecai to the ground, punching him and kicking him in the face, causing his nose to bleed)

Mordecai (tries to fight back but to no avail): STOP! OW! OW! OW! OW! OUCH! OUCH! STOP IT, PLEASE! OW, THAT HURT'S!

Stewie (stops hitting and punching): Fine…(pulls out knife): I'LL STAB YOU INSTEAD! ANY FINAL WORDS WITH NO TRICKS!?

Mordecai: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Stewie (grins): Fair enough! (stabs Mordecai 20 times in the chest, killing him instantly)

Mordecai: AAAAAAHHHHHH…(dies)

Stewie (puts knife away and steps off Mordecai's dead body): HAHAHAHAHA! YES! I DID IT! I KILLED HIM! (gets back onto rocket-powered bike and starts it up) Time to go back to the park and steal those snacks! (laughs and drives off)

KO!

Boomstick (crying): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY MORDECAI AND RIGBY? WHY!? WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DIE?!

Wiz (sighs): Boomstick, stop that loud crying. You're being such a baby! Anyways, as you can see, during the course of the fight, Stewie had the upper-hand right from the start as he's more intelligent and tricky than Mordecai and Rigby are. Mordecai and Rigby do have great skills too, but Stewie is more lethal and more skilled than they area, allowing him to kill them off instantly.

Boomstick (sniffs): Mordecai and Rigby are in Heaven now, all thanks to Stewie Griffin. There, they can enjoy unlimited video games, pizza, snacks, and sodas. (wipes tear off left side of face) R.I.P Mordecai and Rigby. I'll miss you! (cries)

Wiz (sighs and gives Boomstick a pat on the back): There, there Boomstick, it'll be alright. (hands Boomstick a tissue) Once again, the winner is Stewie Griffn.

Boomstick (through his tears): Thank you all for watching…(sniffs) and we'll see you next time on "Death Battle"! (cries and runs out of studio)

Wiz (sighs and gets up): Sorry folks, I got to go check on Boomstick there. He's not happy about Mordecai and Rigby getting killed today. (turns off Boomstick's radio microphone) He's Boomstick, and I'm Wiz, signing off, (turns off his radio microphone and exits the room through the door behind him)

THE END!

Well, that's all for this 5th chapter of Season 2. It looks like Mordecai and Rigby both got killed by Stewie Griffin. Sad, isn't it. Oh, and I bet none of you were expecting the cameo appearance of the cast of "Grease: Live", were you? No, no I bet you were not. Thankfully, no one got hurt but now, Mordecai and Rigby are both dead. Now, only Skips, Pops, and High-Five Ghost are the only ones left alive in the park. Well, its time for us all to move on. In the next chapter, Stewie Griffin's next opponent shall be one with a French accent, trying to rob his house. Who is this next opponent? Who will win? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. Well, let's all move on to chapter 6 of Season 2 of this very epic miniseries...