Well, I'm back everyone. I'm back with another chapter of Season 2 of this very epic miniseries. In the last chapter, Stewie Griffin fought and killed both Mordecai and Rigby. In this chapter, a very short but action-packed battle to the death will take place, with Stewie's opponent being Le Quack from "Courage the Cowardly Dog". Who will win this battle to the death? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. I'm not going to spoil it all now. Well, what are we all waiting for? Let's begin chapter 6 of Season 2 of this very epic miniseries...
Wiz: They both are intelligent, are really sneaky, can both steal stuff, and they also to kill each other.
Boomstick: Stewie Griffin, everyone's favorite homicidal baby…
Wiz: And Le Quack, a very sneaky and evil con artist duck.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a "Death Battle"!
Introduction to Stewie Griffin:
Boomstick: Ah, good old Stewie Griffin. You never know what'll happen when messing with this kid! Needless to say, he LOVES fighting in these "Death Battles" and this is sixteenth battle to the death…
Wiz: We already introduced Stewie Griffin in the last season of "Death Battle", but we still have to do it again due to the rules of "Death Battle".
Boomstick: To make it short and sweet on my part, Stewie Griffin is a homicidal baby that wants complete world domination!
Wiz: This one-year-old is not meant to be messed with. If you do mess with him, he'll probably kill you. Not joking, he WILL kill you if provoked.
Boomstick: Stewie Griffin is the youngest member of the Griffin family, but don't yet his young appearance fool you. He's a damn psychopath!
Wiz: Born on June 30 1999, Stewie Griffin has a very sophisticated psyche and is able to speak fluently in an upper-class English accent. When he was born, his birth doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois, his mother.
Boomstick: From that day on, he was shown not to be a normal kid, but a kid with the mind of a criminal. His weapon arsenal is full of classic weapons. These weapons include a machine gun, a tommy gun, a chainsaw, a machete, a flame thrower, a rocket launcher, a crossbow, a laser gun, a few hand grenades, a handgun, and even a harpoon gun. This is one of the reasons you should think twice about messing with Stewie!
Wiz: Not to mention his abilities! He can run fast, jump high, trick his enemies, punch hard, kick hard, and even bite hard. He can yell or curse up a storm, and he can even invent things.
Boomstick: Over the years of the "Family Guy" show, Stewie has invented many futuristic inventions, such as a mind controlling device, a carbonite freeze gun, a hypnotic control device, a hovering drill machine, a teleporter device, a multiverse traveler, a Peter-Bot, a clone machine, rocket skis, a weather device, and even a God-damn time machine! Wow, this is one badass little kid.
Wiz: His inventions are very cool and technologically advanced, and he uses them multiple times. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Stewie can't use his time machine. But he can use any of his other inventions.
Boomstick: This all proves one thing…if you want to bully a kid, please make sure that kid is not Stewie.
Wiz: However, he's not PERFECT. When his friend Brian gets into a dangerous situation, its been shown since Stewie and Brain are friends, Stewie CAN get distracted from any of his battles to help save Brian.
Boomstick: Wait, what?! Why on Earth does he care so much at Brian?
Wiz: Well, in one episode, he mentions that because of neglect from Peter, his father, he sees Brain as a fatherly figure, more than Peter. So, because of this, Stewie can get emotional and weak sometimes.
Boomstick: But despite this, Stewie Griffin is still one badass kid!
Introduction to Le Quack:
Boomstick: Normally if you see someone breaking into your house and stealing stuff, it's usually okay to pull out a gun or something and threaten to hurt that person. But if you see that the robber is Le Quack, you might just want to escape and let him be.
Wiz: Le Quack is a French con artist duck who always tries to score a fortune. He's one of the major antagonists of "Courage the Cowardly Dog". Despite his look of being a cue little duck, like most of the antagonists in the series, he is much stronger than he appears to be.
Boomstick: Le Quack's exploits with Courage first began when he was employed as a specialist to cure Muriel's amnesia. Unbeknownst to the dog, the 'professional' he hired was actually a skilled thief and sought only to rob them.
Wiz: When he arrived at the farmhouse, he was rudely greeted by the owner, a man whom Le Quack quickly struck and incapacitated. Armed with a large mallet, he victimized and tortured Muriel in unusual ways to persuade her to remember the location of her valuables. Unfortunately for him, Courage was there each time to prevent his efforts, but continually vanished before Le Quack had the chance to handle him.
Boomstick: At last, the duck caught up with his suppressor, and, using a vacuum, seemed to have resolved the situation once and for all. In that instance, the cops arrived and handcuffed the criminal, ending a very prolonged search. Le Quack was not held for long, however, and after destroying the car and stealing a police uniform, he swore revenge on Courage.
Wiz: And from that moment on, Courage has had at least 3 more times, hoping to get revenge on and kill Courage. He's tried hypnotism and the use of a hot air balloon to do the evil job. But despite his sneaky and clever attempts, he never succeeds in doing so.
Boomstick: But that's enough of his basic background. Let's talk about his skills and abilities, which he really doesn't have much off. One of Le Quack's main weapons is a large mallet, which he uses in most battles.
Wiz: He can also jump high, run fast, dodge projectiles from his enemies, and even get into clever disguises to cover up his true identity.
Boomstic: So, as you can see, Stewie's clever opponent is up for a "Death Battle" any day, despite his lack of skills and abilities. So, let's see what happens in this "Death Battle".
And now, the actual battle to the death…
(The scene begins at night with Brian sitting down at the sofa, reading a novel. Stewie is upstairs in his bedroom, coming up with more inventions to create. Peter, Lois, Meg, and Chris are on vacation for the week in Florida. Outside the house, Le Quack arrives in his car, with a plan to rob the house…)
Le Quack: Oh yes, this is the big night. Once inside the house, I'll steal all of the money, move back to France, buy a fancy house, get a new girlfriend, and start a new life! (grabs empty pizza box and steps out of car) Now, to start phase one…(walks up to the front door)
(As Brian continues to read his book, there's a knock at the door…)
Brian (looks up): Who is it?
Le Quack (from outside): Pizza man! I have your pizza here…
Brian (gets up from sofa): Finally, our pizza is here. (opens door) Hello sir, you took a while to get here. (gets wallet out)
Le Quack (hands Brian the pizza box): Sorry sir, but I got stuck in traffic. (smiles)
Brian (grabs box and opens it up, seeing no pizza inside): Hey sir, there's no…
Le Quack (quickly pulls out mallet and hits Brian over the head, knocking him unconscious): HIYA! (puts mallet away) Perfect! (grins) Stage one: complete. (steps over Brian's unconscious body and enters the house) Now, to find the money and get out…
(Suddenly, Stewie walks downstairs…)
Stewie (walks into living room): Brian, is the pizza here yet…(sees Brian's unconscious body) What the?! BRIAN! BRIAN, NO! (runs over to him, passing Le Quack) BRIAN, SPEAK TO ME! (bends down by his side)
Le Quack (faces Stewie): Oh, and who might you be?
Stewie (shakes Brian's body): Hi sir. I'm Stewie Griffin, but I can't talk right now! (lightly taps Brian's head) Brian, WAKE UP!
Le Quack: Oh, poor thing. That dog looked like a very nice person…until, I knocked him out cold…
Stewie (looks up): You what?! (frowns) YOU DID THIS TO BRIAN?! (pulls out machine gun) Well, I never! I'll make you pay the price for what you did to Brian!
Le Quack (laughs and pulls out mallet): Bring it on, you stupid baby!
FIGHT!
Stewie (fires machine gun): DIE, YOU STUPID DUCK!
Le Quack (blocks bullets with mallet): Oh yeah?! Well, you're not having much luck here! I'm dodging your bullets, you baby!
Stewie (continues firing bullets): Oh, but I'm better than you, you little shit! (runs out of bullets) SHIT! (pulls out knife and runs towards Le Quack) Now, I'm going to chop of your head!
Le Quack (grins and swings mallet at Stewie): Not unless I beat you first!
Stewie (dodges and tries to stab Le Quack but to no avail): DIE, YOU LITTLE SHIT! (tries to stab Le Quack again)
Le Quack (swings mallet, hitting Stewie's hand, knocking the knife out of his hand): AH-HA! Now, you have no knife! (laughs and tackles Stewie, knocking him to the floor) Now, it's time for pain! (raises mallet over his head, ready to hit Stewie)
Stewie: Not today! (punches Le Quack in the face, causing him to drop his mallet) I'm going to put YOU in pain! (knocks Le Quack off of him, onto the floor, and punches him multiple times, all over his body)
Le Quack (in excruciating pain): OW! OW! OUCH! OUCH! STOP IT! OW, THAT HURTS! LOOK, I'M SORRY! OW! OW! OW! OW! PLEASE, STOP IT! OUCH!
Stewie (keeps punching Le Quack): NEVER! I'LL KEEP ON BEATING YOU UNTIL YOU'RE DEAD! (pulls out golf club and begins to whack with it) FEEL THE PAIN AND SUFFER!
Le Quack: That's it! I tried to get you to stop nicely, but now, I'm going to REALLY hurt you! No more Mr. Nice Duck! (pushes Stewie back and gets up, pulling out a baseball bat) Time for an epic beating that you'll never forget! (swings bat at Stewie)
Stewie (dodges and runs upstairs): You'll have to catch me first, you little shit! (runs into his bedroom and slams his door shut)
Le Quack (bangs on Stewie's bedroom door): OPEN THE DOOR! (kicks the door) OPEN THE DOOR! (whacks door with baseball bat) Little boy, let me in. Or else, I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in! (laughs)
Stewie: Okay, first of all, that "Three Little Pigs" joke only works in the movie, "The Shinning". And second of all, you messed with the wrong baby! (busts down door with his Hover-Drill invention) IT'S DRILLING TIME!
Le Quack (gasps): What the?! What's that?!
Stewie (grins as he controls the Hover-Drill): It's one of my many inventions, duck. (starts sharp metal drill) It's time to be stabbed and drilled to death!
Le Quack (drops baseball bat and runs off in fear): AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Please, don't hurt me! (jumps over Stewie and runs downstairs) HAVE MERCY, PLEASE!
Stewie (chases after Le Quack with Hover-Drill): GET BACK HERE! (chases Le Quack all around the house) NO ONE HURTS BRIAN! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY THE PRICE FOR HURTING HIM!
Le Quack (gets cornered against the garage door): I've got to get out of here! (tries to open door, but to no avail as it was locked) Oh shit, it's locked!
Stewte (approaches Le Quack): Trying to escape, aren't you? (grins) Too bad. Brian keeps the garage door locked when Peter and Lois aren't around.
Le Quack: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Stewie (speeds toward the cornered Le Quack): DEATH TIME! (rams into Le Quack, stabbing him with the metal drill, causing blood to fly everywhere)
Le Quack (in pain as blood flies everywhere): AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (dies)
(Le Quack's now-blood-covered body falls off of the drill and onto the floor. Stewie turns off the Hover-Drill, lands on the floor, steps off, and walks over to Le Quack's dead body…)
Stewie (grins): That'll teach him not to hurt Brian! (picks up Le Quack's body) You know, I'm in the mood for some barbeque right now. (walks outside to where the grill was) Time to turn you into a delicious duck dish!
(Scene cuts to montage of Stewie Girffin cooking Le Quack over the grill and cleaning up the bloody mess in the hallway at the same time. Once the blood was cleaned up, Stewie walks back to the grill and opens up the metal lid…)
Stewie (grins): Ah, perfect. (stabs Le Quack's body with barbeque fork and places him on a plate) Time to serve you with a side of French fries and eat up! (turns off grill, closes metal lid, and walks into kitchen) Stay here while I get the frozen fires. (sets plate on counter and opens freezer to get bag of frozen French fries)
Brian (regains consciousness): Ugh, that was painful. (gets up) I better order another pizza and check on Stewie. (walks into living room, grabs phone, and orders another pizza) Okay, that's done. (hangs up phone) Hey, what's that smell? (goes into kitchen and sees Stewie place a handful of heated-up French fries around Le Quack's dead body) Stewie, what the Hell?!
Stewie (looks up): BRIAN! (runs over to him and hugs him) BRIAN YOU'RE ALRIGHT! YOU'RE NOT DEAD!
Brian (hugs Stewie back): Of course, I'm not dead! That stupid pizza delivery duck just knocked me out cold with a mallet! (Sees Le Quack's dead body on the plate) This is him right here! Stewie, what did you do to him?!
Stewie (grins): Well, since he hurt you, I wanted to avenge you. So, I killed him after he tried to kill me, and now, he's a delicious grilled duck dish. (hands Brian a knife and fork) Have a taste Brian, I already removed the bones and internal organs.
Brian (cuts a piece): Well, alright… I guess it's okay as long as it was self-defense…(eats the piece) Hmmm, yummy. Stewie, this is really good. Can I have some more? The pizza wont be here for another 30 minutes or so…
Stewie: Sure. We'll share it as an appetizer course until the pizza arrives. (cuts a piece and eats it) Yum, it's just as good as you said it is. So, you want to eat it until the pizza arrives?
Brian: That sounds like a plan, Stewie. (continues to eat Le Quack and French fries with Stewie)
KO!
Boomstick: Man, that was a very short but action-packed battle to the death. And that dish looks very delicious. I sure wish I can cook up a barbeque dish like that. Man, I have to go back and finish culinary school.
Wiz: As you can see, Stewie Griffin and Le Quack were both evenly skilled in combat, but Stewie's weapons and element of surprise, and his Hover-Drill invention gave him a much bigger advantage during the fight. Le Quack is a good fighter, but he's just not as lethal or skilled as Stewie is, and he's been beaten in the past by Courage and the police.
Boomstick: Well, it looks like Le Quack's robbery days are over, all thanks to Stewie. And, I don't think anyone will be missing him anytime soon, especially after all of the bad things he's done in the past. And Courage can now sleep soundly, knowing that Le Quack is burning in Hell for all of the crimes that he commited.
Wiz: The winner is Stewie Griffin.
Boomstick: Thank you all for watching and we'll see you all next time on "Death Battle"!
Wiz: He's Boomstick and I'm Wiz, signing off…
THE END!
Well, that's all for this chapter. I hope I made none of you readers hungry for barbecued meat after reading this 6th chapter of Season 2. Yep, this one might've been a little short, but it's all I could come up with for the time being. In the next chapter, Stewie Griffin shall fight his next opponent, who is also a villain from "Courage the Cowardly Dog". Who is this next opponent? Well, you'll all just have to read and find out for yourslef. Well, what on Earth are we all waiting for? Let's all move on to chapter 7 of Season 2 of this very epic miniseries...
