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Chapter 8: Gazette
Time marched on.
The kittens from the second litter grew and were eventually old enough to go to new homes. Marie Madeleine visited a convent of Carmelite nuns. The Mother Superior agreed to take in a kitten to help keep the mice from nibbling the books of the convent library. The good woman did stipulate that, since it was a nunnery, she would prefer a female kitten to fit into their all-girls club. With Richelieu's reluctant blessing (he was inevitably depressed about giving away the kittens even though he knew it had to be done), Marie gave them Ludmilla, a graceful gray kitten with green eyes. This brought the number of cats in the household down to eleven.
Something important happened for Marie de Medici, the Queen Mother. Up until now, she had been living in a mansion known as the Petit Luxembourg. She had chosen to live there while a new palace was being built for her. Now at last, her new palace, called the Palais du Luxembourg, was complete and Marie de Medici moved in with her household. Since she would no longer be using the Petit Luxembourg, she decided to give it to Cardinal Richelieu as a present.
So, the cardinal, his household, and his cats moved into the Petit Luxembourg. Emil remarked that he couldn't believe it was called the Petit Luxembourg, since it wasn't petit at all. Richelieu attempted to explain to him that it was called petit to distinguish it from the larger Palais du Luxembourg nearby. But privately, Richelieu thought that Emil had a point. The Petit Luxembourg might be smaller than the Palais du Luxembourg, but it was still a large mansion.
Milady Clarik de Winter climbed into her carriage and sat down on the red velvet cushion on the bench inside. She had completed her latest mission, this time to Boulogne, and was now heading back to Paris, where she would make her report to Cardinal Richelieu.
The mission in Bologne had not gone as well as they'd hoped it would. However, Milady was not even remotely worried about the Red Eminence's wrath. She had a foolproof way to get back in his good graces.
Marie Madeleine knocked on the door of her uncle's study. She intended to show him the pale orange cushion she had finished sewing for Serpolet. She had sewn scraps of golden-yellow cloth on top of it to create the shape of a sun, since Serpolet liked to sun himself.
"Come in!"
Marie entered the study and what she saw made her want to groan.
Her uncle Armand was sitting at his desk, seemingly in a remarkably good mood. Milady de Winter was standing in front of the desk, wearing an obnoxiously fashionable black hat with a long, black plume. A large hat box was sitting on the desk. And a small furry face, with green eyes, was peeking out of the hat box.
Uncle Armand beamed. "Marie! Come meet our little one!"
Marie thought the title little one was not quite appropriate. The cat was not little. It was not fat, but it was big. It was a long-haired cat, with stripes on its back and tail, and a white stomach. Its fur was so thick and fluffy that the cat looked a bit like a giant puffball!
Uncle Armand stroked the cat's head and gazed at it adoringly. Marie knew that look. He was already attached and there would be no talking him out of keeping the animal. Marie had only recently given Ludmilla to the convent, bringing the number of cats down to eleven. Now Milady de Winter was foisting this cat on them and bringing the number right back up to twelve!
Marie's uncle spoke cheerfully, as if he really saw nothing wrong with the situation! "Is that the cushion for Serpolet? Thank you very much." He accepted the cushion then went back to fussing over the cat. "Milady de Winter found her in Boulogne. She was homeless, so Milady brought her back here as a present for me!"
"How generous," Marie stared hard at Milady. Milady smiled back pleasantly. Marie was not fooled by that innocent expression. She would need to have a serious conversation with this lady about not enabling Uncle Armand's addiction.
Just then, the cat reached up with one paw and swatted at the long plume on Milady's obnoxiously fashionable hat. Milady shrieked and jumped back. Serves her right, Marie thought.
"Emil! Where is my copy of the Gazette de France?"
Emil brought the magazine to the table where the cardinal was having breakfast. It was the very first edition of the magazine and the cardinal had been looking forward to it.
The newest cat sat on the table where Richelieu was feeding her bits of sausage from his own plate. She was ignoring the dish of perfectly good herring Emil had put on the floor for her.
Richelieu eagerly opened his copy of the Gazette de France and began reading. The cat sat beside him. She too, stared at the magazine, her eyes bright with curiosity. When the cardinal turned a page, her eyes followed the movement.
"Do you want to read the Gazette de France too, mon petit?" Richelieu scratched her behind the ears. The cat let out a purr.
He continued reading. The cat continued to sit beside him, looking over his shoulder at the magazine as if she, too, were reading it. She did this until he had read the last page.
"How did you like the Gazette de France?" asked Richelieu.
The cat purred.
The next week, the next edition of the Gazette de France came out. Again, Richelieu read it cover to cover. Again, the cat sat with him the whole time as if she were reading the paper too.
"The magazine is still very new," Richelieu remarked. "But so far, it seems to be doing well." He stroked the cat's head. "You seem to enjoy the Gazette de France. Perhaps I shall pay homage to the magazine by naming you Gazette."
Emil overheard this, and narrowly avoided dropping the dirty breakfast dishes he was carrying back to the kitchen. He shook his head. How does His Eminence even come up with some of these names? he thought. Lucifer, Ludovic le Cruel, Serpolet, and now Gazette! Why couldn't he pick a nice, plain, normal name, like Marthe or Suzanne? Instead, he's going to embarrass this poor cat by naming her after a magazine!
Living in the mansion of the Petit Luxembourg had advantages and disadvantages.
One advantage was that the cats had more room to play and explore in.
One disadvantage was that it was sometimes harder for the humans to find them!
Richelieu always became anxious when he thought a cat was missing. And he made sure the rest of his household knew just how anxious he was! If he couldn't find a cat quickly enough on his own, he would enlist the members of his household in the search. They really had no choice in the matter since he would not calm down and his behavior would be unmanageable until the missing cat was found.
One day Gazette was missing.
Richelieu hadn't seen her since the night before and he was getting seriously worried. He looked in all the usual places. He called her name. He tried the trick he'd learned from Milady of setting out a dish of Gazette's favorite food, chicken pate. He put another dish of it outside in case she'd gone outdoors. Lucifer came and ate the food, even though it was not intended for him. However, Gazette still did not turn up.
As was his custom, Richelieu now summoned reinforcements. Marie Madeleine was at court, performing her duties as lady in waiting for Marie de Medici, so she was spared from having to help with the search. However, Richelieu sent a search party of his guards to look for the cat outside. He then approached one of his important minions.
"Rochefort!"
"Your Eminence?"
"I need you to accompany my guards who are looking for Gazette!"
The Comte de Rochefort stared. He had not spent years plotting and working hard to achieve his position as one of the cardinal's agents so that he could spend his time searching for cats! But when he saw the look on the cardinal's face, he deflated and said, "Yes, Eminence."
Richelieu still didn't know if Gazette was lost outside, or if she was simply hiding in some corner of the mansion. So, he forced some of his servants to helping him search indoors.
They looked in the kitchen, a logical place since the cats sometimes liked to go there to look for extra food. They looked under the tables, in the pantry, and in the cupboards. They found Serpolet in a cupboard, chewing on a piece of serpolet, but there was no sign of Gazette.
They looked in the cardinal's study. Monsieur Charpentier, the cardinal's secretary, even opened all the bureau drawers. No Gazette.
They looked in the bed chambers and under the beds. No Gazette.
They looked in the parlor. They found Ludoviska walking across the harpsichord and making interesting noises. They also found her daughter, Rubis sur l'Ongle exercising her claws on the divan, which she should not have been doing, but no Gazette.
Eponine was one of the maids who had been dragged into the search. She was beginning to get truly fed up with the lack of results. Then she heard a cry from a nearby storeroom.
She ran inside and found Richelieu's laundress, Corinne. Corinne was twisting her hands in her apron and gazing mournfully at a large basket of laundry.
"What's wrong?" asked Eponine.
Corinne moaned despairingly. "Just look in that basket!"
Eponine looked in the basket of laundry. At first, she saw nothing unusual. Then, the laundry seemed to start moving. A small, furry face peeked out from beneath one of the cardinal's nightshirts. Two pale green eyes stared up at Eponine.
"Gazette!"
"She just burrowed into the basket!" declared Corinne. "Now there's cat hair all over the laundry! And to think I just washed these clothes yesterday!"
Eponine groaned. Since the night Mimi Paillon had helped her, she had become much fonder and more tolerant of the cardinal's cats. She liked to pat Mimi when she got the chance. But cleaning up cat hair was still an ordeal to be endured. "Do you think we can get the hair off just by brushing the clothes down?"
"For some of the clothes, yes. But some of them just have too much hair on them. I shall have to wash them all over again!" Corinne looked ready to cry.
Eponine suspected she was right. Gazette was a long-haired cat, and as such, she shed a good deal. Eponine sighed and put her arm around Corinne's waist. "I'll help you rewash the clothes. For now, let's bring this furball back to her master so he'll stop working himself up and harassing everyone else."
Corinne hugged Eponine. "Thank you!" Then, staring down at the cat, she added, "But really, Gazette, you should not be getting into such places! It is most imprudent and indiscreet!"
Richelieu was greatly relieved to have his cat back. He thanked the two women, then scooped Gazette up and showered her with kisses. "There you are, ma cherie! You mustn't get lost like that again! You gave me such a fright!"
Eponine and Corinne exchanged a look. This never got old. Here was a man who managed France with an iron fist, who pushed rebellious nobles into obedience, and by whom even King Louis seemed intimidated. This man was, once again, kissing and cooing over a cat!
All the same, Corinne found it a bit frustrating that this cat could cause so much trouble and inconvenience and get off with a rather light scolding. She said as much to Eponine when they worked together to wash the clothes Gazette had shed her long hair on.
However, at the end of that month, Corinne and Eponine each received a small bonus with their regular pay. So perhaps His Eminence was not completely oblivious after all.
The laundry basket was not the only inappropriate place Gazette ended up in. She seemed to have a talent for getting into places she wasn't supposed to go.
One day Gazette got out of the Petit Luxembourg, traveled for a while, and found her way to the Louvre. Of course, there were armed guards stationed outside the Louvre. But they had been trained to keep out human intruders, not cats. Gazette entered the Louvre through an open window and wandered the magnificent halls of the palace.
Eventually, Gazette saw a small group of human females. Like most human females, they only had fur on their heads, so they wore long gowns to keep warm. The skirt of one female swished and rustled in an intriguing manner. White Alencon lace peeked out beneath the hem of the gown. Gazette wanted to get a better look at that lace. She darted forward and crawled under the hem of the gown.
Queen Anne felt something soft tickling her ankles. She lifted her golden skirts up a bit. A fluffy striped cat was standing by her feet and looking right up her skirts!
"Hello," cooed Anne. "What are you doing down there?" The cat attempted to bat at the lace on her petticoat.
One lady with heavily rouged cheeks eyed the cat with suspicion. She had been brought up to believe that cats were a sign of a witch. "Shall I remove the creature, Your Majesty?"
"Nonsense, Gabrielle. She isn't doing any harm."
"How do you know it's a she, Your Majesty?" asked another lady, wearing a blue gown.
"I don't, Constance. It was just a guess," admitted the queen. "But I don't want to call her an 'it.' Besides, she's so pretty she looks like a girl!"
Queen Anne sat on the floor, seemingly unconcerned about her silk skirts or her queenly dignity. "Constance, go to the kitchens and see if they have something a cat would like."
Constance went. While they were waiting, Queen Anne held out her hand for the cat to sniff. Then she patted Gazette.
Soon Constance came back with a plate of roast beef. Gazette was pleased with the offering and devoured it with gusto.
Eventually all the ladies in waiting were cooing over Gazette, patting her, and saying how cute and soft and fluffy she was. Even Gabrielle worked up the courage to pat Gazette and was rewarded with soft purrs.
Constance nudged the lady beside her. "I think she likes your feather, Francine."
It was true. Francine was wearing a long, white feather pinned into her bun of hair. Gazette was eyeing the feather with interest.
"Oh, does she? Let's see what we can do about that!" Francine unpinned the feather from her hair. She then knelt down and began to move the feather back and forth in front of Gazette.
Gazette pounced on the feather. Once Francine had gotten it away from her, she swished it for the cat again. Gazette caught it several times. They played like that for a while, much to the delight of Queen Anne and the other ladies.
Eventually Gazette grew tired of the game. After some more playing and patting, she left the ladies and the Louvre and went home to the Petit Luxembourg. Cardinal Richelieu was very happy to see her. He had no idea that his cat had looked up the skirt of the Queen of France!
One day Gazette was walking the streets of Paris when she came to a church. She saw two humans sitting on a bench outside the church. One was a human female with curly fur and freckles. The other was a human male wearing a hat with an interesting feather in it. He had dark brown fur above his upper lip and on the lower half of his face. He was talking to the human female as if he were trying to impress her. Judging by her expression, she wasn't impressed yet.
Gazette approached them. The human female caught sight of her and smiled. "Hello! Aren't you a beauty?" She held out her hand for Gazette to sniff.
The female's fingertips smelled nice. Gazette permitted the human to pat her. She had good, gentle hands for stroking. She stroked like someone who had experience patting cats. Gazette purred out her approval. The human had been wise enough to let Gazette perform the sniff test on her hand before touching the cat, she was a fine stroker, and she had called Gazette a beauty! These were signs of a good woman.
"She is very cute," agreed the male human. He let Gazette sniff his hand before he began to pat her as well. He was a good stroker too, though perhaps not quite as good as the female.
"Now about my story," he began talking about something he and his three friends had done a while ago. He was clearly trying to impress the female. But he didn't get very far into his story before Gazette jumped at his head, knocking off his hat. She wanted that tempting feather!
Later that day, Aramis complained to his friends. He whined about how a fluffy, striped cat had embarrassed him in front of his lady love! He told them how it had seemed like a nice cat at first. He admitted he hadn't been scratched or bitten. But the cat had knocked off his hat, taken his hat plume in its mouth, and run off with the plume between its teeth! He admitted that the lady had been sympathetic to the loss of his hat plume, but she had also seemed more smitten and interested in the cat than him!
When Athos, Porthos, and D'Artagnan heard this tragic tale of woe, they all responded by bursting out laughing! Porthos joked that they couldn't blame the lady for paying more attention to the cat, since it was softer and fluffier than Aramis. Athos dryly told Aramis that it was his own fault for buying a hat with such an ostentatious plume. Aramis pouted and told them they would not think it was so funny if a cat interfered when they were interested in a lady!
When he'd gotten his laughter under control, D'Artagnan commented, "Well, at least you now know that she likes cats. Maybe next time you should take her to the garrison to play with Jeanne d'Arc." Jeanne d'Arc, the garrison cat, had forgiven Aramis for the ribbon incident after he bribed her with enough treats. Aramis and the garrison cat now got on well together.
Aramis's face lit up. "That is genius, D'Artagnan! She'll love Jeanne!"
D'Artagnan sighed. He'd meant the suggestion as a joke. He hoped Aramis wouldn't get into too much trouble implementing it.
One evening, Gazette crept out of the Petit Luxembourg. She wandered the streets of Paris before she found a building that looked and smelled interesting enough to investigate. She climbed through one of the open windows and landed softly on the floor.
There were many humans in the room, sitting at different tables. Gazette climbed on top of a high shelf so that she could see the humans without being seen.
The room, with its many tables and chairs, was not the cleanest of human dwellings. It was actually a bit dingy. A few of the humans looked a bit dingy themselves. Some humans were eating. Some were drinking. Some were talking. Some were even sleeping. Two male humans were sitting next to each other on a bench, each with a bottle nearby. One was telling the other a long, elaborate story. He did not seem to realize that his companion had dozed off.
A male human was preparing drinks, which were served to the other humans. A couple of tired looking human females in aprons walked among the tables, bearing trays of food and drink. They did not particularly look like they wanted to be there, but they were doing their duties.
At one two ancient male humans with furry faces were drinking and having an intense discussion about fishing. Like many cats, Gazette liked fish and she respected the two humans for taking fishing seriously.
In the middle of the room, one human was standing on a box and speaking loudly. He was reciting what Gazette thought was supposed to be poetry, but he was doing it so badly that it was difficult to be certain. She was surprised none of the other humans present felt the need to stop him. But perhaps they were all so drunk that they did know or care how bad his poetry was.
In one corner, an old human female wearing a shawl over her head sat at a table. There was a stack of paper in front of her and she was writing with a quill pen. Her writing seemed to be giving her some difficulty because she kept muttering to herself, scowling, and crossing things out.
At one of the larger tables, six men sat together, playing cards. Gazette heard the chink of coins. Humans almost always found things more interesting when money was involved. Gazette noticed that one big human was collecting the most coins. The other humans seemed to be growing displeased with this.
"You're cheating!" declared one red-faced human.
The bigger human snorted. "Just because I'm better at the game than you doesn't mean I'm cheating."
"Of course, Porthos is cheating!" snapped another human. This one wore the red and black uniform which meant he was one of the guards belonging to Gazette's human, Richelieu. "Everyone knows he cheats at cards!"
"That's rich coming from you, Lavigne. I happen to know that when you play with dice, they're loaded!"
"You take that back!"
They continued arguing. It seemed that they might soon begin brawling. Gazette decided it was time for her to intervene.
She let out a blood curdling meowl, and leapt down from the shelf, landing right in the middle of the table where the card game was happening. Most of the humans dropped their cards in shock. Gazette ran around the table, jostling the piles of cards, and making sure to knock over a few drinks in the process. Then, she jumped on the head of one of the men, knocked his hat off, and jumped off, landing on the floor. She tore around the room once, darting between a few pairs of legs and causing several humans to let out startled cries of shock. Then, she jumped on a bench. From the bench, she jumped to the sill of the same open window which she had come through in the first place. She made her exit through the window and took off home.
When the humans calmed down enough to look at the table, they realized just how mixed up the cards were. In the scuffle caused by the cat, they had dropped their cards, some cards had been knocked off the table, and all of the cards had become shuffled and mixed about so much that they could not tell whose cards were whose or where they had been in the game. Furthermore, it was now impossible to tell who, if anyone, had been cheating. They could no longer continue the game and they also could no longer fight about it. They all ended up going home and no brawls or duels occurred that night. This outcome was precisely what Gazette had hoped for.
Gazette's actions had another, unintended consequence. The old human female, who had been struggling with her writing, was now very happy, for she had been cured of writer's block. She chuckled to herself, "I shall write my next story about a cat creating chaos in a pub!"
Several important meetings for the king's council were coming up. Cardinal Richelieu would need to stay at the Louvre for about two weeks to attend all of them and make sure everyone else present behaved like adults. Ignoring the advice of Marie Madeleine, Emil, Corinne, Jussac, and several other people, he decided to bring all twelve of his cats with him! His justification was that the two weeks of meetings would be a nightmare and having the cats with him would make the time more bearable. He needed some consolation for his suffering or he might end up strangling one of the council members. If he were arrested for strangling a council member, Louis would probably replace him with someone incompetent! This incompetent replacement would be unable to run the kingdom for Louis, and France would suffer. Therefore, Richelieu insisted, if was for the good of France that he brought the cats with him!
His staff members did not entirely agree with this line of reasoning. Emil reminded him what happened last time with Rubis sur l'Ongle. But Richelieu would not be dissuaded.
The first three days of Richelieu's stay at the Louvre went smoothly enough. Richelieu attended meetings during the day, while the cats were kept in his chamber. At the end of the day, he would return to the chamber to cuddle the cats and complain to them about the council members. The cats listened to him vent and purred sympathetically.
On the morning of the fourth day, Richelieu had to make a make a presentation to the king, the queen, some council members, and other important personages. Everyone sat at a table while the cardinal presented his paperwork. As he was doing this, he thought he felt something bump against his legs under the table. He decided it must be his imagination and continued the presentation.
Then, something jumped on the table, landing on top of his papers. It was Gazette!
There were several gasps of shock from various council members. One man, who was extremely superstitious about cats, uttered a small scream.
Richelieu could feel his face growing as red as his robes with embarrassment. "I apologize for my cat! I have no idea how she got in here."
There were a few sniggers among the council members. One duke smirked. He hated Richelieu, and resented his influence over the king. He relished in the cardinal's embarrassment. Surely the king would reprimand the cardinal for the appearance of this animal!
Then, Queen Anne stood up, and came over. "So, this is your cat, Your Eminence?"
Richelieu was sweating. "Yes, Your Majesty."
"And you said it's a she?"
"Er, yes, Your Majesty." Richelieu wasn't quite sure where this was going.
"I knew it was a girl! I've seen this cat before." Queen Anne smiled and addressed Gazette. "Do you remember me?"
Gazette looked skittish at first, but the queen held out her hand to be sniffed. Once she had smelled the royal fingers, the cat relaxed and allowed the queen to rub her under the chin.
Queen Anne beamed. She might not like the cardinal very much, but she did like cats.
King Louis came to stand beside his wife. He let Gazette sniff his hand, then he patted her. "She's so fluffy!" He grinned with all of his double teeth. "Perhaps I could hold her?"
"Of course, Your Majesty."
The king picked up the cat and sat back down, putting her on his lap. He patted her, and Gazette purred to encourage him. He made affectionate noises to her. He kept the cat in his lap for the rest of the meeting.
If any of Richelieu's rival council members were hoping the cat's arrival would result in the cardinal's disgrace, they were disappointed. King Louis was charmed by Gazette. Sometimes His Majesty's more childlike tendencies were surprisingly convenient. Perhaps it was because the cat's presence had put him in a good mood, but at the end of the meeting the king happily agreed to the policy Richelieu was proposing.
Perhaps that had been Gazette's plan all along.
Some of the council members continued to eye Gazette with distaste. They were men who either didn't like animals, were superstitious about cats, or both. However, not all the members behaved this way. At the end of the meeting, some actually came over to admire Gazette. One marquis even mentioned that he might be interested in getting a cat himself. Richelieu knew that Marie Madeleine would not forgive him if he did not take advantage of this opportunity, so he said that he still had three kittens who were old enough to be adopted. The marquis was delighted to hear this, and they agreed to discuss the details later.
Gazette was good at going where she shouldn't. However, sometimes it all worked out in the end.
Notes:
Historically, Marie de Medici did live in the Petit Luxembourg while the Palais du Luxembourg was being built for her. It's also true that when she moved into her new palace, she gave Cardinal Richelieu the Petit Luxembourg.
The Gazette de France was the first weekly magazine published in France. It was later renamed La Gazette. Cardinal Richelieu was a contributor to it.
Here I apologize for an inaccuracy with dates. I believe I did warn readers at the beginning of this story that it would not be perfectly historically accurate. Historically, Cardinal Richelieu moved into the Petit Luxembourg in 1627, but the Gazette de France was not published until 1631. However, I am having the magazine published a few years earlier than it was historically to fit it into the chronology of this story.
According to my research, Cardinal Richelieu did have a cat named Gazette and supposedly she was "indiscreet." One source I read suggested she may have been named after the magazine.
For readers who haven't watched the BBC series and learned about The Three Musketeers from another source: there is a scene in the first episode of the series where Porthos is playing cards with a red guard. It turns out Porthos is winning the game by cheating. That inspired the scene with the card game in this chapter.
Historically, King Louis XIII did have double teeth.
Emil, Eponine, Corinne, Gabrielle, Francine, and Lavigne are all OCs.
Credit goes to Samstown4077, who inspired part of this chapter by suggesting that the cardinal's cats might sometimes go missing in his huge mansion and he would panic. Thank you so much!
