A/N: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER :)
PLEASE BE KIND
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CHAPTER NINE - Self Forgiveness
"Percy?"
"I've always wanted to apologize to you since I've learned about you" Percy explained. His eyes were red as he looked at her. "I was there and I couldn't prevent it. I distracted him and the consequences were fatal"
Now Avery knew what he meant. She looked around at everyone, hoping someone would stop him but nobody moved. Even George merely looked down at his brother's words. Everyone knew how much this meant for Percy, who had always been guilty for something he couldn't prevent. It wasn't fair but if it helped with the guilt, they weren't going to stop him.
"You caught me off guard, Percy..." she tried to smile through it, though wasn't successful. "You don't have to apologize. Things happens..."
"But-"
"And I'm sure that if you could have prevented it, you would have" she continued, her eyes now downcasted. She took a deep breath before looking up with a teary smile. "Fred wouldn't have wanted for you to dread over it because it wasn't within your control. I'm sure he was happy because you have returned by his side"
Percy looked at her incredulously before nodding and sobbing. "Yeah... He even liked my joke"
Mrs. Weasley cleared her throat from the doorway leading to the kitchen. She, like everyone, had red eyes and a huge smile on her face. She was holding a cake with 'Happy Birthday' written on it. "Now that we are all well fed, shall we wish a Happy 17th Birthday to our Ginny?"
"Mom, I told you I didn't want a cake!" Ginny complained but still giddily went towards her as everyone stood up to get near them as well. When she was about to reach her mother, she stopped and turned towards the couch. "Avery, what are you waiting for? Come here!"
Avery looked towards her in surprise, then back at George, who was standing with a smile and an arm around Percy. "Me?"
"Yes! Everyone need to greet me happy birthday, duh!" Ginny then went to her and carefully took her by the arm. "Come on"
Although hesitant and nervous, Avery followed her to the front and sang her happy birthday along with everyone. What seemed to be a very awkward and unsuccessful encounter had now turned into a proper reunion, with Avery being the main attention. Percy's apology seemed to have turned a switch as everyone was now crowding and speaking to her, much to George's delight.
"'ow far along are you now?" Fleur asked with a particular glint in her eyes, next to her was Ginny and Hermione, both also particularly interested.
"I'm not actually sure..." Avery nervously said while fidgeting with the ring she had gotten from Fred. Just then George came with a weird smelling cup and offered it to her.
"Avi, you should be around 5-6 months according to the healer. Here take your medicine"
"Do I have to?" she cringed as she took the cup and, although hesitant, she gulped it down in one go. "Disgusting..."
"Yeah, yeah. Here, don't be a baby" George rolled his eyes at her. He pulled something out of his pocket, then unwrapped it and put it in her mouth, before leaving again.
"What was that medicine for?" Ginny asked in confusion. "Are you alright?"
"Oh that? Yeah, it's for my body… I kind of became weak and it wasn't good for the baby" she vaguely answered, fearing that if they knew how she almost risked her pregnancy, that they'd judge her heavily.
"I heard some pregnancies are very hard and delicate so it's good that you have something that can help you" Hermione said while nodding in understanding.
"Iz et painful? Bill and I was zinking of starting a family but I'm scared..." Fleur looked at her in distress, dark blonde baby hair framing her beautiful face.
"It hurts sometimes, mostly here" Avery pointed at her chest with a distant look. "But it's worth it"
"It definitely is" said someone from behind Ginny. Baby Teddy was in his arm, kicking and giggling at the girls.
"Harry!" Ginny grinned as Teddy made grabby hands towards her and gently took him from her boyfriend.
"Look at this fella and you'll know immediately that it's really worth it" Harry patted Teddy's head with a smile.
"Take it easy, mate. Ginny is barely 17" Ron sarcastically said. He sat next to Hermione and ignored his sister's glare.
"Never said anything about Ginny, though"
Ron shook his head, then turned to Avery with a curious look. He looked around as if he didn't want anyone to hear and non-silently said "What did you like about my brother? He's crazy!"
Hermione face palmed herself but Avery merely laughed at his question, something she was actually already waiting to be asked. "That's exactly what I love about him! He brightened my life just by being himself when I had nothing. Do you know how we met?"
"Not really" Ron shrugged.
"Oh right, how did you meet?" Ginny asked curiously.
"Your brother came crushing through my front yard with two Death Eaters and splinched in half!" she shook her heard incredulously. "Like what the fuck was your brother thinking?"
"You were the pretty lady he was talking about?" Ginny suddenly remembered the brief conversation they had in the twins' room. "He went back to you?"
"Yeah, he came during random hours but mostly at night so George wouldn't notice. Main reason I'm like this" Avery joked while pointing at her belly.
George watched as Avery talked with the younger group, feeling really satisfied by the fact that she was now more at ease and relieved.
"What are you thinking about?" Bill sat next to him by the table, along with Percy and their parents.
"Just glad she is doing well here. I thought she'd have a harder time" George explained briefly.
"And what about at home? Has she had another mental breakdown?" Mrs. Weasley inquired while stealing brief glances towards her. She appeared more healthy than the last time she saw her and was now openly laughing with the others.
"Not that I'm aware of. We just spend most night talking honestly"
"That's actually a good thing, son. The more she opens up, the less likely she will have another mental breakdown" just as Mr. Weasley finished speaking, a sudden pop resounded through the night just outside the Burrow. Frowning, he stood up and went to the front door. "Let me check this quickly"
"I actually wanted to thank you, Percy" George continued, making the older boy frown in confusion. "Avery was very nervous when she came and everyone didn't seem very thrilled with her here. You going out of your comfort zone just to apologize really made things easier for her"
"Everyone was thrilled to have her here" Percy looked at the others around the table and everyone had the exact same confused look. "Did you two think we didn't want her here?"
"Well nobody talked much to her so I just assumed you were still not used to the idea..."
"What? No! We weren't that way because of that, George. We actually wanted to meet her but we felt guilty and we didn't want to crowd her..." Bill explained hurriedly, wanting to immediately clear the misunderstanding.
"Guilty for what?"
"Dear, we know that for Avery, Fred was literally her entire world. We felt guilty for being unable to protect that entire world..." Mrs. Weasley fumbled with her hands nervously. "In fact I was hoping of talking to her in private tonight. Percy had just preceeded me"
"Avery doesn't blame anyone..." George mumbled breathlessly.
"Now we know. We were afraid though before she comforted me, we didn't want her to hate us..."
"You are all so stupid..." George chuckled in relief.
Just as everyone were minding their own business, Mr. Weasley came back in along with the Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt. She was holding a sealed letter in his hand and seemed to be looking around for someone in particular.
"Kingsley, what a pleasant surprise!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed while approaching him with a huge smile. "Would you like a piece of cake?"
"Oh Molly, I'm sorry for dropping by unexpectedly but I'm actually here for business. The driver we sent upon your husband and son's request told me a very interesting story" Kinglsey explained. He was looking directly at Avery, who was holding her head low as though to avoid attention.
George, who had noticed the weird exchange, immediately got up and went to stand right next to Avery, who was visibly nervous.
"What is it about?" Mrs. Weasley asked.
"Avery Rookwood, right?" Kingsley asked to confirm as he pointed at Avery and George nodded slowly in response. "If you had told me it was her, your request, George, would have been approved in no time! Within a day even"
"What do you mean?"
"We didn't actually know who was our anonymous informant, all we knew was her appearance. Had I known Avery was that informant, I wouldn't even need to convince the Counsil to approve this" Kinglsey handed George the sealed letter with a huge smile. "It's done!"
"What do you mean by informant?" George frowned and looked down at Avery.
"The one who gave us the locations of the hideouts was Avery. You didn't know?"
Kingsley Shacklebolt looked around the around with a huge smile on his face, but it was apparent that it wasn't something everyone knew. The Weasley has a very interested look on their face and some were even smiling.
"Avery did? That's awesome!" Ron boisterously said, clapping at her proudly. "Good job, Avery!"
"No wonder Aurors could easily get through the charms protecting the hideouts. The secret keeper probably died" Harry reflected with an inpressed look.
"Why didn't you tell us before?" Ginny asked her while gently holding onto Avery's arm.
While everyone seemed enthusiastic about the news, Avery looked as though she was going to feel sick. She had been avoiding George's eyes the whole time and seemed very restless. When she could no longer keep up with the situation, she just got up and left, leaving everyone confused.
"Uhm... Let me handle this" George mumbled as he handed the sealed letter to his mother and followed Avery up the stairs, through the first floor and up to the second floor, to the room he had shown her before. He knocked on the door and waited for her to answer.
"I just needed the bathroom" Avery said from inside, letting him know that it was safe for him to open the door and talk to her.
"You do know this is not a bathroom, right?" he joked. He went to sit next to her on the bed that once belonged to Fred. "What's wrong, Avery?"
She still avoided his eyes and shrugged with the twins' picture tightly held in her hands. "Nothing... I just got the wrong room" she whispered.
Instead of confronting her about the obvious lie or about the sudden walking out of the room, George took the photo from her and wrapped his arm around her to hug her as best as he could. He let her have her moment sobbing silently while he caressed her shoulders.
"I'm sorry for walking out" she managed to say through her tears.
"It's okay, love" he reassured her. "What happened?"
Avery hesitated for a couple minutes, biting her lip over and over again, though he waited for her to calm down and explain herself. "I couldn't bare everyone's look anymore..."
George merely hummed in acknowledgement so she knew he was always listening.
"I'm a coward, Georgie. Kingsley made it seem like I did such a noble thing but that's not true! And everyone looked at me as if I was some hero in disguise, I felt extremely disgusted with myself..." she hysterically said with both hands clutching her dress tightly, as though she wanted to ripped it apart.
Seeing her like that hurted him so he gently took both her hands on his and hugged her as tightly as possible, in hopes of calming her. "You are not a coward, Avi. Don't every say that again"
"But I am! I didn't tell anyone because I was afraid of my father and I hid! All this time I knew where they were, if I said anything to anyone maybe I could've prevented a lot of deaths!" she took deep breaths in between her sobs. "If I had taken action against my father, Fred might've been alive... If there is someone who should've asked for forgiveness, it should've been me. I should be the one to kneel in front of the whole family and beg for forgiveness!"
At this point George could no longer bear with how low she was thinking of herself and immediately pulled away to look at her in eyes. He looked completely devastated to see the guilt she had been holding inside of her, slowly eating her.
"Don't say that, Avi!" he firmly said, tears also filling his eyes. "Love, you have no control over what your father had done! You, like your grandparents, chose your own way so you should be proud. Proud for not following him, proud because you still decided to support those who opposed Voldemort. Perhaps it's true that, had the Order or anyone who opposed them knew these informations, there would've been less deaths. But that wouldn't have ended the war, that wouldn't have kept Fred alive. If he didn't die due to that wall your father exploded, he would've still died another way and in someone else's hands. It's destiny, it was meant to happen!"
"But I didn't do it because I wanted to help. I did it because I wanted them to suffer after they took my Fred… I'm the worst…"
"Avi, look at me. It's normal to feel anger and hatred towards people who left you with nothing. It's normal to want to take revenge but it's the way you do it that makes the difference" he smiled at her in encouragement.
Avery looked at him through her tears, shaking her head while thumping her fists onto her chest. "I'm tired George... It fucking hurts so much..."
He held her again in reassurance. "I know, Avi. It will stop soon, I promise..."
They didn't know how long they stayed in that position but they did and it was very much needed. He lulled her back and forth, waiting for her to calm down, not caring that everyone downstairs were still waiting for them to come back. By the time Avery had calmed down, the sun was already setting and a distinctive pop from outside moments ago informed them that Kingsley had probably already left.
"Avi, I don't know if this will make any difference for you but know that I'm proud of you, don't ever forget that. You've done well in enduring everything alone" he whispered as he gave her a loving kiss on the forehead. "So don't cry, hold your head high and be proud"
Avery closed her eyes and nodded. "I'm sorry..."
"Oh love, why would you be sorry for? Jeez this woman..." he gently wiped the tears off her cheeks and took both her hands in his as he stood up. "Wanna come down with me?"
"I don't know, Georgie. I kind of stormed away rudely..."
"Don't worry about that, I'm sure it's fine. Come on, I have a surprise for you"
Although hesitant, Avery stood up and followed him outside the room and down the stairs, where the whole family had now moved to the front yard. A bigger table was outside and Mr. Weasley was busy grilling near the entrance. The guys were playing on their brooms in what seemed to be a miniature version of Quidditch, while the girls were around the table still talking.
Upon seeing them, Mrs. Weasley approached them with a very kind smile. "How are you feeling, dear?" she asked in a motherly way.
Avery looked at George for comfort, then answered "I'm sorry for leaving just like that, Mrs. Weasley... I'm okay though"
"Oh call me Molly, we are family now" she vaguely said while handing her the sealed letter George had left behind some time ago. "This is yours. It's something we planned some time ago to show our appreciation and to welcome you into the family. Perhaps this will reassure you better than any words we could ever say"
Mr. Weasley stood next to his wife along with their children, he held her gingerly next to him. "We are sorry for making you uneasy today, we didn't mean to. We didn't know how to act and this might have created some misunderstanding between us"
Seeing her hesitation, George encouraged her to open the letter. "This is the surprise I was talking about, Mrs. Weasley. Go on, read it"
"Mrs. Weasley... What?" Avery looked confused as her heart nervously beat faster than normal. She opened the letter with slightly shaking hands and found the Weasley's family registry along with a letter. "What is this... We are glad to inform Mrs. Avery Weasley about the decision taken by the Counsil, regarding her registration in the Weasley's family registry as Mr. Fred Weasley's wife..."
Avery reread the letters over and over again, tears yet again filling her eyes to the point she couldn't read anymore due to how blurry her vision was. She held the letter close to her chest and sobbed with so much happiness spreading through her chest.
"Welcome to the family, dear" Mrs. Weasley said with opened arms. This time Avery didn't hesitate to hug her and Mr. Weasley while everyone cheered around them, being just as happy and supportive.
"Jeez Avi, I told you not to cry anymore" George's voice broke when he said that with Bill patting him on the shoulder.
"It's the fucking hormones, you moron!" Avery retorted back, still hugging Mr. and Mrs. Weasley tightly.
