Would You Love me if You Knew What I was?

Chapter Four: Crucible

Original title: The smile I could not see

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. All I own are the OC and slightly altered parts.

Updated: A LOT WAS CHANGED! I even changed the title, but I still but the original in here for you past readers. Hehe. I'm changing some dialogue, parts, and memories to fit K.E. more. Sorry guys if you were confused before.

Since I'm lost on K.E., I decided to do my remakes again, XD

Fun Fact: for those who don't know, a crucible is known to be a container of metal or refractory material employed for heating substances to high temperatures. It's also a severe, searching test or trial.


With the sun's rising, Yumi felt the warm rays of the sun slowly trickle into the room. Blinking sleepily, she yawned softly and snuggled more into her warm futon.

Wait…was her futon moving?

Her violet eyes focused more and saw the mouth of their shelter. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary unless you counted the feeling of something pulling her closer. That 'something' felt human as it brought her into what she deducted was a chest with strong lithe arms. Almost in a frightened manner, she began to turn her head slowly to see the familiar face of her captain that was using her as a pillow.

"Wake up…T-Taicho wake up!" she hissed and attempted to pry his tempting warm arms away from her. They loosened their hold ever so slightly and she took this chance to shift away slightly. Yumi was surprised to see that he didn't stir from her movement. Feeling a little brave, she tentatively poked his cheek. He grumbled in reply but did nothing else. Her boldness improved and she ran a hand through his spikes experimentally. Her captain made no move to swat her hand away.

'Wow…he must have been dead tired to have slept through that.'Yumi thought. A sudden breeze into the cave brought her back and she became all to conscious of the fact that all she had on were her undergarments. She hastily grabbed her uniform off the drying rack and changed faster than she could say ramune. When she finished tying her sash around her waist, she heard a groan a few feet away and thanked god she decided to change fast.

"G'morning, Taicho." Yumi offered a soft smile to the groggy captain who was still getting out of his dreamlike state. She secured her sword at her left hip and then tossed his clothes at him. Yumi was a bit more careful with his Haori, feeling a little reluctant to hand it over. "Change quick. We have to get a move on ahead of the other groups."

"You called me Taicho," he mumbled as he pulled his robe on and fixed it into his hakama pants. Meanwhile, Yumi was busy folding their things up and putting them in their packs.

"And you took care of me," she replied simply and handed him his bag once he was finished dressing. "I think you earned a day of me calling you captain without me teasing you!"

A sudden roar deeper into the cave disrupted their exchange. Both Shinigami couldn't help but allow a face of utter curiosity, but Hitsugaya shook his head. There was a time and place for everything. "Miyamoto, let's go."

"…okay," she sighed and followed him out. Once out, Yumi put her pack down to re-adjust a strap when the screeching roar sounded closer. They turned quickly to see a pair of empty amber eyes and an eerie white mask on a black beast that looked like a large lizard. It licked its lips hungrily as it stepped out of the cave, finding Hitsugaya's spiritual pressure a fine target. Its spiked tail swept the place they once stood before jumping out of the way. Unfortunately, Yumi's bag wasn't so lucky.

Hitsugaya sighed and hit his forehead with the palm of his hand. "God damn it… So early in the morning?" When he didn't hear the side comment from his subordinate, he turned to her in confusion. "Mi—"

She had raised her hands in front of her. Her eyes had closed in concentration as she whispered silently to herself. Hitsugaya only managed to catch 'Rondanini' and 'claw' before his eyes widened in realization.

"Bakudo 4: Geki!" Yumi declared as the claw that was descending toward them came to a halt. The creature roared and moved away from the castor of the kido, thus retreating back into its cave. Hitsugaya made another note to double check the reports about his new subordinate…

"Hah! Take that!" she cheered herself on, punching the air and grinning. Hitsugaya crossed his arms and raised a brow.

"You seem confident for a girl who can't make a simple ball of kido." He said with a hint of mockery in his tone. "…or even get to her office without tripping once…"

"Hey, I heard that!" Yumi shouted and threw a pebble at his head. He dodged last minute and smirked. "Damn captain reflexes…" she muttered under her breath and growled. The captain suppressed a chuckle and the two of them continued on. It wasn't until they entered a clearing to rest for a moment that Hitsugaya noticed something peculiar…or something that wasn't there.

"Miyamoto…"

"Yes?"

"The orb was in your bag…right?"

"Yeah, why you ask?"

"…Where's your bag?"

"…shit…" her jaw dropped as she only then remembered that incident.

"Idiot! Now look what you did!" Hitsugaya threw his hands up in exasperation. Yumi frowned and cringed, too guilty to make a retort (Since she knew she really blew it this time). Noticing her gesture, he sighed and closed his eyes. "C'mon. We still have some time left. We can backtrack." Yumi followed him tentatively, wondering if he would snap again.

A few steps later, she felt the oncoming on a headache. Nothing major, so she shrugged it off.

Yeah, that managed to last for a minute tops.

Reaching into her robe, she took out a pouch of pills that the fourth division supplied everyone for their little adventure. It contained medicines that ranged from cold relief to antidotes for poison. Yumi popped a curious pill with a skull on it in her mouth and waited for its effects.

"Hehehehe…" a faint echo of a child's giggle entered her hearing range and she whipped her head around. Unfortunately, the pills didn't work so fast and she felt a massive wave of pain in her head. Yumi whimpered slightly which caught the attention of her captain.

"Miyamoto, hurry up. We don't have all day!"

"Coming, god…" she cursed quietly after and then heard the giggling again. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"A girl, giggling!"

He raised a brow and looked around. "I think…you're going crazy."

She growled in irritation to his response and passed him with a haughty, 'hmph!' He raised his hands up in exasperation behind her before following.

'…hear…yet? …hey…!'

'Huh? What's going on?' Yumi thought, hearing a muffled voice grow clearer. It sounded close, but no one was around. She furrowed her brows in more frustration. 'So help me, if you are a voice in the back of my head I will go into a panic attack! I'm crazy enough as it is without voices in my head!'

'Voice? Ah, I see… You don't remember, do you?'

'Remember? Remember what exactly?'

'Maybe this ought to give you a little…push.'

Yumi's eyes widened before the headache returned, except with double the force. She had to let out a groan and clutched her head in pain, dropping to her knees in the process. Hitsugaya stopped and ran over to her, hesitantly putting a hand on her shoulder. He felt her shudder and wince, almost as if his hand chilled her.

"Miyamoto? Oi, are you alright?"

Her vision blurred. The images… Oh god… The scene flipped back and forth between the green foliage of the forest to a macabre field of bodies. A woman stood in the middle of it. From her point of view, it looked like she was staring through a camera. The video would shake a blur—pan and zoom in and out. The woman slowly turned towards her, holding a bloody scythe in her hand while grinning sadistically.

And then all of a sudden, the horrible images stopped. Actually, a more accurate term would be, 'it was swept away.' She blinked twice, questioning what just happened until she noticed Hitsugaya's hand on her forehead. His brows were furrowed and a look of frustrated concern was etched onto his face. From where his hand touched she felt an icy coolness.

"Th-Thanks…" she mumbled, a bit embarrassed at her earlier state. He nodded and both of them stood back up. "What exactly did you do?"

"I noticed you reiatsu fluctuating. It was a bit of a long shot, but I figured if I could get a feel for your reiatsu I could try calming it by mixing my own…" he shrugged. "Guess it worked."

"Hmm…maybe it wasn't so bad to be paired up with the prodigy?"

"Tch, I should hold that against you, Miyamoto."

"Yeah well—" He held his arm out in front of her suddenly and also signaled her to be quiet. The sound of a twig snapping behind them caught their full attention as the two put their hands on the hilts of their swords.

"Who's there? Show yourselves, now!" On cue, two other Shinigami appeared brandishing their zanpakto. Their uniforms and skin were splashed with blood, and wide and almost maniacal grins were plastered on their faces. Yumi had to shake away the gory image she was attacked with merely moments ago.

"Lower your weapons. I don't recall this 'exam' allowing duels between Shinigami." Hitsugaya ordered once more, ready to draw Hyourinmaru. Normally, this is where most—if not all Shinigami—would back down and run for the hills. No one went against the orders of a serious captain, much less challenge one to a duel. Both Yumi and Hitsugaya then noticed a dark aura seeping out of them. Out of nervousness, Yumi drew her sword and pointed it at them. She ignored the warning Hitsugaya told her. As they stepped closer, Yumi unconsciously took steps back. The hand on the hilt of her sword loosened as she felt the headache slowly return.

'They dare raise their blades to me?'

'W-Who are you?'

The voice ignored her.'They dare think they can challenge me?'

Yumi finally dropped her zanpakto and once again held her head. Hitsugaya was distracted for a moment but that was all the enemy needed. One of them lunged at the captain, slightly grazing him on the arm. He winced and retaliated with the full force of Hyourinmaru reigning down from the draw. The man jumped back and Hitsugaya took this chance to look at his subordinate. "Miyamo…to?" he stopped, noticing her silence. Her hand covered her left eye only while her other was closed. When she lowered it, her eye was no longer the color of a deep amethyst. It was a familiar eerie amber…

She slowly got up; her posture slightly slouched as she analyzed her enemies like weak defenseless prey. Yumi picked up her sword in her right hand and stepped towards her opponents. Hitsugaya was about to follow suit but found that he couldn't move a muscle. Was this kido? No…it was different somehow…darker.

"You can stop using those disguises, you worthless rejects." Yumi spoke. Although the pitch was almost the same, the tone she used made her sound older and mature, like a battle-hardened veteran of the battlefield.

The two Shinigami chuckled before they slouched. A sickening cracking and tearing sound escaped their bodies as dark blobs of shadows tore themselves out from the inside. The hosts fell to the ground in puddles of their blood, dead. Hitsugaya grimaced. He had seen things no one should ever see in his time as a captain, but even this had bothered him greatly. He studied Yumi with surprise and suspicion. Hadn't she been scared of blood? She's handling this like it doesn't faze her!

The blobs took form of dark humanoid beings. The only things identifiable were beady yellow eyes. "Heh, how did you find out…? A 'Shinigami' like yourself shouldn't have even sense our presence so easily."

"Cut the crap. It doesn't matter how I found you fools…" she flexed her fingers experimentally and then smirked, a dark look in her mismatched eyes. "What matters is how I'll enjoy tearing you apart limb from limb."

Their eyes narrowed as they charged at her. Long spear like objects materialized in their hands. Yumi merely chuckled and flicked her wrist. A large burst of concentrated reiatsu was released and when it connected, it hit like a sword through flesh. They were cut from the waist down in half. Their screams of shock and pain only made her grin wider as she flicked her wrist again, attacking the already dead corpses one more time before finally turning back to the stunned captain. The kido on him lost its hold the moment of the first strike…but he couldn't find it in him to move anymore. He just stared at her with wide emerald eyes. "Miya…moto…" She continued to stare back blankly, not bothering to wipe away the blood splatter on her cheek. "What…what the hell did you do…?"

She smiled and took a step towards him and raised her hand in preparation before groaning and clutching her head again.

"Shit…" she cursed, biting her lip.

'Give it back…'

"Hell no…!"

'Give it back!'

"Stupid…you wanna die?" she grit her teeth. Hitsugaya finally snapped out of it and walked up to her to grip her shoulders.

"What are you—Who are you talking to!" Yumi shoved the captain away. The girl finally let out a pained scream before falling to the ground, passed out.


'Idiot'

Yumi's eyes blinked open to find herself in a completely black space: her subconscious. "What happened…?"

'You passed out, that's what.' Yumi whipped around to see a girl in a plain white dress. It was like looking into a mirror, except that her eyes were amber instead of violet. She crossed her arms. 'Tch…any longer fighting it and you may have lost your head there. Metaphorically speaking of course.'

"Why are you here?"

'Is that the question you really wanna ask me?' She asked, raising a brow. 'Because what you should wanna ask is: who and what the hell are you?'

"I'm a Shinigami." Yumi answered, narrowing her eyes. "I have no interest in knowing who you are anymore. I just want to know why you're here."

'Harsh words to someone who's known you for more than half your life, kid.' She grinned. It was quite strange to see a girl with the same face as you talk back at you…

Suddenly it hit her. "Wait…if you've known me that long…then you know about my past?"

'More than you'd wish to know.' If she was hearing correctly, Yumi could catch a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Please tell me… What happened the night I was found by the Gotei 13!"

'I'm sorry but…' Yumi's counterpart frowned and slowly waved her hand. 'I think it's about time you woke up.'

A bright light suddenly engulfed the dark space, blinding Yumi from the girl who waved her good bye with a sad frown.


Beep…beep…beep…

Yumi slowly woke to see a blue white ceiling. Her head turned to where she presumed the window was. Apparently, it had already been late when she woke up. The dark night along with the moon half full cast the room in blues and blacks. Yumi wrinkled her nose in distaste at the breathing mask over her face and took it off slowly before sitting up in her bed. She dully noticed that an IV was connected to her hand and her ribs were wrapped up. The wounds from the snakes must have caught up to her… It took her a while to notice the figure sitting on a chair next to the bed. His arms were crossed inside the sleeves of his uniform and his head rested uncomfortably against the wall.

'How like you to not use the bed right in front of you as a pillow…' Yumi mused. She grinned and couldn't help but giggle softly. Her captain could be surprisingly adorable if he could just put that scowl off his face. Yumi took her hand and lightly brushed his left cheek where a bandage was. Actually, his haori and face still had stains of old blood and dirt. She frowned. 'He didn't even go back to get cleaned up?' She withdrew her hand from his face. 'Were you with me the whole time…?'

Her body stiffened as the room went red in her vision. The images from before returned as the EKG in the room began to beep loudly. Her head hit the pillow and her eyes shut tight. Hitsugaya, alarmed by the noise, woke suddenly to see his subordinate almost convulsing and struggling for air.

He sprang up from out of his chair and shouted. "Someone get Unohana-Taicho, NOW!"


"Daddy, daddy!" a small child hopped up and down excitedly. Her hands reached up to the taller man walking towards her with a wide grin on his face.

"How's my little girl today?" he chuckled and picked her up, proceeding to spin her in the air. She laughed and then hugged his neck with her small arms.

"I've been a good girl! Nii-chan is in the kitchen with kaa-san now!" she gave him a toothy grin and he put her down.

"Well then, shall we go inside to celebrate?" he took her hand and began to lead her into the house.

The child suddenly frowned and looked up at her father. "Daddy, I forgot… What are we celebrating today?"

"You forgot? That's not good at all!" he frowned thoughtfully and then pat her head. "Today is the day your kaa-san and nii-chan disappear."

"'Disappear …?'"

The smile on his face grew wider as he opened the door. The house was eerily quiet. Her innocent brown eyes widened as she stepped inside slowly. "Kaa-san…? Nii-chan?" she saw a movement from the kitchen and ran over with a relieved smile on her face. "Nii-ch—" She froze, watching the scene slowly unfold in her five year old mind. All she saw was…red…

Her father appeared beside her and put his hand on her head. "Omedetou."


'Seriously…how many times am I going to wake up like this? This is ridiculous!' the Shinigami thought. Her eyes shifted from side-to-side, trying to figure out where she was this time. She was once again in the hospital room, except now it was morning. The sun in her eyes made her wince before sitting up in bed. The sound of a chair moving caught her attention as she turned to see Hitsugaya putting down some documents he had been reading.

"Are you alright, Miyamoto?" he asked and walked over to assess her. Yumi raised a brow at his makeshift desk and then chuckled. Her captain would never cease to amaze her.

"Yes, I'm alright now." She noticed a few empty cups of tea and furrowed her brows. "How long were you here?"

"Long enough," he dodged the question as she laughed again. "What's so funny?"

"N-Nothing's funny!" she denied even though she kept giggling. When it subsided she continued. "I'm just a little glad you care that much. Thank you, Taicho." He quickly turned around and crossed his arms.

"It was nothing, Miyamoto. As your captain, this incident shouldn't have happened so…" If she looked close enough, she could see his ears turning a bit red (But it was hard to tell since he was tanned).

"So, what happened with the survival thing?" she asked, trying to change the subject. When he said nothing, she feared the worst. "Sorry…"

"No," he sighed and turned back to her. "It's fine. Your safety was priority at that point, so don't worry about it."

"Hey, c'mere for a moment." She gestured. He rolled his eyes and walked closer to the bed. When he was close enough, she took her pillow and flung it into his face…or it should have… Instead, he dodged and it hit the wall harmlessly. Damn captain reflexes…

"What was that for?" he exclaimed. While distracted, she pulled on the collar of his uniform and pressed her lips against his cheek. If you thought she kissed him quick, she pulled back even faster.

"That was for saving me…" she mumbled, laying back down and pulling the covers over her head. "I'm sleeping some more. G'night!"

He remained in shock for a few seconds more before blinking rapidly in succession. His cheeks turned a healthy shade of pink before he turned to walk out the door. Neither of them noticed the small smile on his face.


A/N: Omedetou means Congratulations, btw

Omake Theatre (Altered)

Mana: -sigh- finally… This chapter was really hard to rewrite…

Yumi: Considering you broke your finger the first time you wrote this, that shouldn't be the case.

Mana: Hey, I'm trying to save you from becoming a Mary-sue here while keeping the same info as the original!

Yumi: Don't think it's workin'

Hitsugaya: I agree. Seriously, she seems more badass now and a bit out of character from the script

Ichigo: -walks in-…did you just say 'badass', Toshiro?

Yumi: How many times do I have to tell you, Ichi? You don't come in for a couple more chapters!

Ichigo: It's not Ichi!

Mana: If it's not 'ichi,' then maybe you shouldn't scratch it.

Everyone: …

Mana: …

Reader: …

Mana: ATTACK OF THE BAD PUNS!

Yumi: That's not even punny…

Hitsugaya: Oh god no…


Just for my own personal reference in future re-writes:

'Thoughts'

"Speaking"

'Unknown'

sound/flashback (You'll be able to tell)