Chapter 103: Do We Have a Plan?
She was still wound tightly in his arms when the hallway lurched and the feeling of vertigo swept through her strong enough to make her nauseated. She must have made a noise because Cloud tucked her closer into himself and steadied both of them. Dust shook down from the ceiling and it occurred to her that not only were they underground, but they had an entire building on top of that as well. Her world stayed gray around its edges as the shaking stopped and she was just realizing that, even in Cloud's arms, she felt cold, when the familiar tingle of a Cure spell washed over her. She knew she hadn't cast it herself and Cloud was the only one in the hallway at the moment. She gave a sigh and relaxed into him. His body stayed tense however and he shifted her, cradling her shredded arm against her chest as he let another Cure wash over her. The skin on her arm crawled and felt like insects running over her for a minute and then it settled down to a low throb. A third time and the throb was soothed away, leaving only warmth and a little shaky weakness in its place.
She whispered his name, eyes closed and content in what felt like the first time in forever. His lips brushed her forehead but there was hesitance in them.
"I hurt you," his voice was low and shaky and she gave him a weak smile without opening her eyes.
"You cut my hair."
Unconsciously, in response, his fingertips where his hands were tangled against her brushed at the ragged tips of her hair where it lay against her shoulder blades.
"I did," he sounded devastated and yet unsure if he should laugh or not over such an inconsequential thing in comparison to everything else. Hesitant, afraid of seeing jade again, she carefully opened her eyes. Cloud's eyes had been intently studying her but the second hers touched them, they shifted to the side and away.
They were endless blue however.
Gentle, she raised her hand that wasn't covered in drying blood and cupped his cheek. The skin over the bones of his face was still tight and it wasn't relaxed around his eyes either. She felt as if there was a fist around her heart and it was starting to tighten.
"Are you… going to stay?" she could only whisper it and his eyes came back to hers, hesitant under the fringe of his golden bangs. He swallowed.
"…yes?"
The fist around her heart squeezed a little bit tighter. Because he was afraid. And so – so was she. Her fingers traced along the side of his face, remembering and re-memorizing the feel of him. His eyes watched her as if she were every secret he'd ever wanted.
"Will you," she paused and managed a little smile. "Will you kiss me? Please?"
His lips parted the smallest bit as the exhale escaped him. His eyes went lost and bottomless and the darkest blue she'd ever seen.
"Yes."
He bent his head while he held her cradled in his arms and his mouth closed over hers. It was like coming up for air after being underwater too long and like drowning at the same time. It was like crying until you're hollow and laughing until you hurt. It was sorrow and it was life and Tifa wound her arms tightly around his shoulders and refused to let go.
"I love you," he murmured it against her mouth and her arms tightened around him even more. "I always have. Even when I knew you weren't my memory, I loved you."
Her fingers tightened on him and drew him down again. The timing was bad but… she needed to kiss him. More than common sense or the rest of the world continuing on without them or being in a dangerous position… she needed to kiss him. The sound he made in his throat as he responded listed his priorities as well. When she finally let him go, when he finally drew just a little away, he lowered his head more and pressed his mouth to her shoulder. Where his sword had cut her before the Cure spell had wiped the wound away. The heat of his kiss there made her shiver and she wound her body closer around his.
"You are you. You're the Cloud Strife that lived in Midgar as a child and saved Wutai as a youth."
"Tifa…" his voice was soft and he gathered her up in his arms, standing. "It's all right. I know."
He sounded utterly at peace with it, for the first time she'd ever heard him, and yet… he sounded a little sad and a little broken too. She tipped her head back to look at his face and his lips, just barely, shifted upward on one side for her.
"I know. The clones are dead bodies stuffed with materia, mako and Jenova cells. Jenova's consciousness is what gives them life and lets them borrow memories from the Lifestream. They have no memories of their own. They're not really alive and that's why they dissolve when they die. Hojo was creating them without knowing what he was doing, that he was under Jenova's control before I killed him." He hesitated over the twisted red sword but eventually stooped and picked it up, still managing to hold her in his arms. "I'm one of the failures. Bad batch of mako. The memories weren't purified enough. And I was too newly dead. But it's still how Jenova can control me. Her cells are in my body. That's where the black under my skin comes from. Why the attacks come and why the disease spreads whenever I'm somewhere that she's nearby. I was made for her."
"Cloud…?"
His eyes slid to look down at her as he walked and he answered the question she hadn't asked yet.
"I know because she let me remember, Teef. It pleased her."
She shook her head, violently.
"No. You're Yuffie's Cloud. She remembers. You've got the scars from where Sephiroth stabbed you before you tossed him in the Lifestream. You're you, Cloud Strife."
The edges of his lips shifted just a little upward on both sides and it softened his face for a moment. She saw light in his eyes briefly. He exhaled almost silently.
"That's good to know. I… I really did something worthwhile then, didn't I? While I was still alive."
"Cloud?"
His shoulder moved and it wasn't a shrug. It was his left shoulder. The one that was already soaking through with sticky black liquid. His eyes met hers and the pain wasn't in his eyes anymore. But she didn't like what was.
"I'm still borrowing my life, Tifa. Even if it really is in my own body. I'm only alive because of the crap Hojo shoved into me." He shouldered a door open and was going down stairs now, with her still protectively tucked in his arms. "How's Aerith?"
The change of subject jarred her and she scowled. Not ready to let go of what they were talking about. And yet –
"She's alive. On the Highwind. She's… it's like she's not really there, Cloud. She is, I mean, her body is, but I can't feel her. Not – not the way she always makes a room feel."
She was stumbling over the words but he nodded, understanding anyway.
"It was my fault, Tifa. Jenova used her connection with me to keep the path between the shore and the Ancients' island open. It should have disappeared when Aerith got a certain distance from it but… I was the link that kept the bridge open."
She made a noise and he shook his head again.
"It's all right. When Jenova dies, Aerith will be free to get better. I'll make it right. I promise." He paused outside a doorway in the stairwell and gently set her on her feet. He didn't let her out of his arms though and she wasn't about to leave them anyway. His voice was low and rough at its edges as he softly explained: "Jenova is using the stone from the temple to swallow pure Lifestream without losing herself to it. Like a filter. But she isn't part of this planet and so the Lifestream doesn't recognize her. Tifa," his eyes met hers. "She's straining the power through people so that the Lifestream will be tricked into being swallowed. This entire floor is a holding pen."
Every time she thought she'd already heard everything that could make her feel sick to her stomach with how twisted the world had become, she found out she was wrong. She didn't even understand everything Cloud was telling her, just the bare basics of the explanation. It was enough to make her feel ill and that was before she got the chance to find out exactly how you 'strained' power through people. Cloud's hands moved over her back slowly, reassuring both of them.
"Clones?" she asked softly as she pressed her face into his throat. Asking about what was beyond the door while she stole a last few moments with him. He nodded, fingers weaving through her hair.
"Monsters," he added and she made a noise to show she'd heard.
"Jenova?"
"At the end," his voice was as soft and calm as she remembered and she held him tighter. In response, his own arms tightened around her and his body shifted to keep her in its protective curve as much as he was able. She burrowed as close as she could and, after a long pause, asked:
"Sephiroth?"
"Dead." So Zack had been right – in a way none of them had expected. "For years now. She's kept him trapped. She lets him out through the clones as she needs him and then drags him back again when the job gets done."
And he'd used Cloud's body. She could only imagine what that had done to the man in front of her now. She just held him tighter.
"Plan?" she asked and heard him hum his amusement. For some reason it brought tears to her eyes and she squeezed them shut so nothing would fall and give her away. Somewhere above them another explosion was strong enough to shake the stairwell they were in.
Their friends were making a mess. She loved them fiercely for it.
"Go in. I kill clones. You break open doors and get people moving to the stairs."
"Reinforcements?"
He was quiet for a moment and then his voice, sounding a little dry, asked:
"Did you manage to hang on to a PHS?"
She made a noise and would have hit him except it would have meant letting go of her death grip on him.
"In my vest," she told him instead and felt the way he let his hand drag and linger over her as he found it himself and pulled it loose. Still holding her with one arm, he flipped it open and hit the speed dial with his thumb. Then he lowered his head to tuck it against hers as he held the phone to his ear.
"Zack?" his voice was steady. "We need you."
