A/N: I am so sorry I really did not intend to be away this long had a couple of really busy weeks and then have been the most sick I've been in my life this last week. But I'm back and I hope you all are still with me, cause I'm not done with this story yet!
Also I apologize for not responding to you reviews like I have in the past, crazy life, but I'll promise to try for the remainder of the story. Thank you so much! Now for the chapter!
Chapter 7
Miley weaves her hand through the air, as the wind blows through her hair driving, down the deserted highway in Lilly's blue convertible. The top was down and the two had been on their little road trip for over an hour now. Miley wasn't about to complain however, she was enjoying the moment with Lilly even if she had no idea where they were going.
She had to admit she was a little surprised that Lilly had relented and agreed to take her off campus. She knew it wasn't in Lilly's nature to disregard the rules so easily. But she wasn't going to take the opportunity for granted, she was going to make use out of the alone time with the other woman, away from the watchful eyes that normally surround them.
She wasn't sure where they were going either. All Lilly had told her was it was a surprise. Miley had tried for the first half hour or so to get a clue, but gave up when she realized Lilly wasn't about to give in.
Coming around a corner, the barren land finally gave way to a row of continuous small houses running parallel to the shore behind them. Coming upon the one Lilly wants, she signals right before turning into the driveway of a small brown condo.
Not bothering to say anything to the other girl, Lilly gets out of the car and begins walking around to the other side of the house, with Miley following closely behind. Seeing no one else around Miley's curious as to where Lilly had brought her. "Is this your place?" she asks curiously.
Lilly nods in affirmation, "My parents gave it to me when I graduated." Reaching her hand in her pocket, she pulls out a set of keys.
Remembering that the blonde had told her she wasn't close to her parents leaves her a little confused by the whole thing. "That was nice of them."
Lilly fingers the keys finding the right one, "compensation for guilt," she tells the younger girl. When she graduated her parents had felt bad about dumping her in that school and not having much to do with her afterwards, and shocked to find out who their daughter really was. But they couldn't change their ways either so they simply tried to buy her off. It didn't work, but Lilly had to admit to being grateful to have someplace she could go that was all her own.
While she unlocked the door, Miley turned to look out towards the ocean. She watched the waves in wonder, with a smile on her face, thinking about how beautiful this place was. She was happy Lilly wanted to share it with her.
Entering the house Lilly first walks around and checks to make sure everything is how she left it the last time she was here. She had a small company that came and cared for it once in a while during the school year in her absence. They would surely tell her if anything had happened, but it's nice to see for yourself that everything is fine.
Once she was satisfied, she led Miley out onto the side patio and sat down on the couch, looking out to stare at the waves. Miley sat down beside her blocking her view for a moment, but even once she moved Lilly could no longer see the waves, to lost in her own mind. Was she right for bringing Miley here? After everything she'd done to try and separate herself from her growing attraction to the girl, was it smart to show her a piece of her own world?
She was starting to see how her and Miley weren't so different, and how the similarities made them almost kindred spirits in a way. They understood each other in a way no one ever could, and that thought alone scared her.
"You should live here full-time," Miley tells her, sitting back more comfortably on the couch and bringing Lilly out of her thoughts.
Thinking it over for a minute, Lilly smiles at Miley, "The drive is too far from school."
"You could make a career change," Miley suggests honestly, but also leaves a bit of humor making them both laugh on the outside. Inside both of them are thinking the same think, that this whole situation would be so much simpler if Lilly wasn't Miley's teacher.
They stare at each other for a moment, silently exchanging the thoughts going through their minds. Breaking eye contact, Lilly keeps a smile on her face as she stares off into the ocean, her train of thought being too much for her at the moment.
--
A few hours later, at Miley's suggestion, the two of them find themselves wandering down towards the water. Finding a spot they both liked the two sat down across the sand. Neither spoke, simply enjoyed just being with each other.
Taking a peak at Miley, she sees how beautiful the other girl looks out here. Happy that she brought her camera with, she reaches over and pulls it out of the carrying bag. Seeing what Lilly's doing, Miley just leans back getting herself comfortable, before turning a smile to the other woman.
After snapping off a few quick shots of the brunette, the two share a smile before Lilly reaches back to put the camera back where it belongs. Watching Lilly, Miley sits back up, happy that Lilly wanted a memento of her and this day.
Taking Lilly's hand in her own she begins to kind of study it, loving the feeling of being able to finally touch the other woman. Lilly has to admit she's enjoying the closeness also, and trying not to let her mind think too much about it.
Still holding tightly, Miley turns serious suddenly and Lilly notices the change immediately and it makes her follow suit. "Can I ask you something?" Miley asks her unsurely.
Lilly's not sure what to think about this turn of events. She tries to study Miley for a minute and figure out what the other girl is thinking, but she can't seem to figure it out. "Sure," she nods curiously.
Now that she has permission, Miley's not sure how to ask what she's thinking. Hesitantly, "the girl in the pictures," she pauses gauging Lilly's reaction. Seeing she hasn't shut her out yet she continues, "Were you in love with her?"
Knowing she can't lie about it, not when Miley asked her straight out for the truth, "Yes."
Miley takes a moment to process this information. "You still wear her cross," she says matter-of-factly, not really questioning it, just making a simple observation.
How does Miley know it belonged to MiKayla? Lilly wonders this as she turns her head away from Miley trying to figure the answer out for herself. She takes a moment just trying to think, and begins fingering the cross. "How do you…" Lilly stops unable to finish her question. Her mind is racing now, too many thoughts filling her head at one time. The present begins to collide with the past.
Miley looks off to the horizon, reaching out she grabs her knee. "She's wearing it in all the pictures," she answers without much thought. Turning back to Lilly she starts to notice the change that is coming over the once smiling teacher. "What is it?"
Everything is becoming too much for Lilly. She starts to feel like she can't breathe sitting here like she is. "I just…" she can't finish the sentence as her thoughts are moving to swiftly, instead she stands up and starts to walk away.
"Lilly," Miley tries to stop her, but Lilly just ignores her and leaves her there alone. Defeated Miley sits up, wrapping her arms around her knees, trying to figure out how their conversation went so sour so fast. Thinking now that maybe she never should have asked about MiKayla in the first place.
Being left to her own thoughts now Miley began to go over everything she knew about the other woman. There had to be something she was missing. Something just didn't seem to add up right now. Sure she didn't expect a happy response, but still, there was something behind Lilly's words that kept making Miley come back to their conversation.
Deciding she'd spent enough time sitting there she got up and headed back towards the house thinking maybe that's where Lilly went. Reaching the sliding glass door she pulls it open, "Lilly?" Hearing no response she steps through and pulls it closed behind her. She tries calling her name but still there is so sign of the other woman so she starts heading further into the house.
Just inside the hallway she finds a table with several pictures of Lilly and Mikayla, several more adorn the wall above it. Now knowing that Lilly once loved the other woman she picks up one of the pictures wanting to look at her more closely.
A small piece of folded paper that had been resting behind the frame falls out as Miley lifts the photo. She puts the picture down and instead grabs what looks like a note. She holds it in her hands for a minute trying to decide if she should read it or note. Hoping it'll give her a clue has to what is going on with Lilly she carefully unfolds it and begins to read.
L-
I know you will not understand what I did this, but one day I hope you can forget me.
I've tried finding happiness, but darkness seems to find me and I can't breathe. You were always the strong one. I'm sorry.
-M
Miley looks up to find that Lilly has finally come back to the house and was now watching her. She realizes she never should have looked at that letter, but now she believes she knows what is bothering the old woman. "I'm sorry. I was just…" she tries to apologize but isn't give then chance as Lilly walks over and grabs the paper out of her hand. Turning she starts to leave again. "Wait," Miley calls, "I wanna talk to you," she reaches for Lilly's arm turning her around.
"You had no right to read that letter," Lilly tells Miley angrily, brushing her hair out of her face, anything to keep from doing something she knows she shouldn't do right at this moment.
"I'm sorry I read the letter," Miley tries to apologize again. Right then though she can't help her feelings, or her need to help Lilly come to terms with this. Something she feels now that Lilly hasn't done. "But you can't run away from this," she continues.
Holding the letter up, "This is bullshit," she says with venom. That letter represents everything she hates about how things went down a few years ago. How her world seemed to come to a screeching halt in just a few minutes.
Miley tries to reach for her and comfort her, but Lilly throws her hands up preventing her from doing so. "No look, I don't want to talk about it," Lilly says forcefully trying to make Miley get the point.
Miley's not about to be deterred however, "You don't have to talk about it," she tells her, trying again to reach for her teacher. Succeeding this time she grabs both her arms pulling her towards her. Pulling the taller woman close, she pulls her into a tight hug.
"No, let me go," Lilly tries to resist but doesn't put much force into moving away this time.
"You don't have to talk about it," Miley tells her again, this time moving her arms to wrap around Lilly holding her even closer. "I'm not letting you go," she tells her.
"Miley," she tries again, but Miley just wraps her tighter and Lilly just stands there stiff unsure of what to do now.
"I'm not letting you go," Miley repeats once last time before she starts to feel Lilly's resolve crumble. Miley runs a hand down Lilly's hair soothingly as Lilly cries into her shoulder, finally letting herself feel what she has been denying herself to do so for too long.
Lilly feels herself give in completely as she wraps her arms around the smaller girl, holding on for dear life, dropping the letter to the floor as she does so. She finally lets herself feel the anguish that has been locked deep inside. Letting herself remember her friend and lover that left her far too soon, but of her own choice. Taking comfort from Miley she just let it all out until she couldn't anymore.
Once Lilly had stopping crying long enough to move, Miley led her into the bedroom and got Lilly to lay down and rest some, sure she was emotionally spent. She could see the need in Lilly's eyes and laid down beside her, trying her best to comfort her mourning friend. She watches Lilly sleep for awhile before finally falling asleep herself still wrapped around the older woman.
Lilly was the first to wake up and while she felt a little disoriented she could help but feel the calm that overcame her when she realized Miley was still there beside her. In fact it felt entirely too good laying her like this and that could only mean trouble.
The rest of the day she tried to ignore the looks Miley was giving her, but she couldn't shake those eyes from her mind. They seemed to see inside her. She probably should have driven them back and soon as they awoke, but she wasn't ready to leave this haven just yet.
After sending another look Lilly's way only to feel rejected she looks down, unsure of where they stood now. They had started making progress on this trip, but now it felt like they were back to the beginning all over again. When Lilly said it was time to head back, she just followed her out without any fuss, knowing that this day hadn't turned out like she had anticipated when she suggested leaving campus.
Pulling back into the school, Lilly parks the car, but neither woman makes a move to get out. Miley's not ready for this day to be over. All too soon spring break will be over and they will be back to being surrounded by other people all the time.
Lilly looks over at Miley just hoping she'll get out, but isn't surprised to see Miley watching her closely. Those gorgeous eyes trying to see inside her soul. Miley watches for any signal she can take from the other woman, but Lilly just looks down and away.
Knowing this is her last chance Miley reaches down and gently places a finger on Lilly's hand still holding the wheel. She's hoping that maybe she can bring back what was happening between them on the beach. Instead Lilly drops her hand down into her lap, effectively breaking contact.
Looking out the window, Miley tries to brush off the rejection she's just been given. She's starting to wonder why Lilly can't just accept what's happening between them. She decides to look at Lilly one last time, hoping that she'll give her something to work with, anything other than this silence. When none comes she turns defeated and gets out of the car, leaving Lilly wondering for the millionth time if she's doing the right thing.
A/N: Just wanted to mention I now have a twitter, username Jaywriter if anyone's on there hit me up! LOL I love twitter!
