Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. When you are scarred for life repeatedly by a sudden change in the book, you will know who owns it... MWAH HA HA! Poke them. Poke them with Sporks. Ninja Sporks. Ninja Sporks with Llamas. Ninja Llamas. Just poke them, dammit! Poke them with Sporks. Ninja Sporks...
Edward POV
I stayed passive through the majority of Bella's speech. I had felt a connection with her in biology that day, the only 'human' I experienced that with, in fact, the only person. I didn't want to scare her off as I had the other girls. Now I find that she's no human, instead she's a vampire like me, her soul doomed to eternal hell as mine is.
It was hard to believe that such a beautiful creature was damned, for her looks alone should place her in the uppermost circle of heaven. I pulled myself back to the present. I spared a quick glance at Bella, whose angelic features were slightly contorted with some emotion. She was curled on herself, her head turned away and her cascade of dark brown hair hiding her face from everyone – except me.
I could see the look in her eyes: uncertainty, unhappiness, anxiety and distress. She raised her head and said, "Seventeen years old."
I keep a dispassionate expression on my face. Seventeen like me. I could see Carlisle's pity, seeing Bella's distress and not wanting to broach a seemingly delicate subject. I tuned out again. I wonder if she had any musical talent, she had seemed to admire my piano.
"–read and influence minds…read and influence emotions"
Influence mind and emotions...
Without giving any warning and with no semblance of civility, I jumped to my feet and tore out of the room. Running full speed up the stairs to the third floor, I slammed my door as hard as I could without the risk of breaking it.
I collapsed face down on my thick golden carpet, clutching it with desperate hands, wanting the feel of the solidity of the fine strands. I heard Alice and Esme comforting Bella below, reassuring her that she had said nothing wrong, that she did nothing wrong. How untrue that may be.
All these emotions running through me, where they just feelings thrown off by the seraphic-looking demonic vampire being consoled below? I'd never felt feelings like I did towards her, the bond that I sensed between us. Was that the result of tampering with my mind, influencing it?
I heard Carlisle coming up the stairs, making sure that he didn't surprise me. I made no move to get up when he tapped lightly on the door. I felt him kneel down next to me and place his hand calmly on my shoulder. I shrugged it off and sat up blindingly fast. I looked into Carlisle's compassionate eyes, and knew there was only harsh bleakness in my own topaz gems.
"Edward," he asked, "what's wrong?"
I raised my hands in a defenceless gesture. Swiftly, my anger crystallized and I hardened them into fists.
"I want her out Carlisle, gone. I want her to leave here." My voice had a hysterical edge. "Get her away from me, from us. She's too dangerous to be around." I stood up, Carlisle looking wretchedly up at me.
The feelings expressed by his face resonated in his tone. "You want me to throw her out, Edward? She's done nothing wrong at all. She hasn't tampered with us."
I gave a fierce look, smiling down wildly at Carlisle. "She hasn't?" It wasn't a question in the formal sense. It was a dispute to his statement that she hadn't tampered with us, with me. I saw his face grow attentive as he realised what I meant. He reached out a hand to grab me, but was too late.
I dashed out of the door and flew out of the house, catching one glimpse of Bella as I fled. Her features were distorted with pain and misery, becoming more pronounced as she saw me. She stopped her pacing and reached out one hand, wickedly fast, and brushed my arm in silent apology.
I didn't acknowledge her request for clemency, and I continued rushing out into the refreshing night air. The first rays of light were beginning to touch the sky, for once not obscured by dense clouds of fog. Never more had I wished for the slight distraction of school.
I ran to my meadow, the meadow that I never shared with anyone else. The vast expanse made me lonelier. The swaying wildflowers all reminded me of her, enchanting me with their sweetness. But who knows what goes on in the thoughts of a flower, and her?
I spent the next few hours stretched out, gazing up at the blood red sky that gradually faded into a rarely seen blue of forget-me-nots. The tall grass waved around me and beads of sunlight were strewn around in little multihued rainbows, reminding me of the past night, and how even the moonlight refracted off her pale skin.
Giving up trying to forget, I hopped up and started running through the forest. Soon I was back at the house, but I didn't want to go inside. Instead, I went to the school. I watched the students go inside, and I felt the urge for hot, human blood. At that moment, I saw the unfortunate Mike Newton walk past, only metres from where I hid in the bushes.
I'd never liked Newton, and it would be so easy, too easy to just reach out and grab him, the succulent flesh yielding and the blood pouring into my stone body, warming it. He wouldn't be able to stop me, my inhuman strength pulling him closer, sadistically ripping out his throat. The look of despair in his eyes as his life blood pumped out, into my eager mouth...
Indeed, I almost did reach out and snag him, but I let him pass, ashamed of my feelings. What would Carlisle think? How would Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett react to knowing that my self-control was destroyed? I would wreck everything we had strived so hard for.
Most of all, I couldn't stand to see the look of revulsion cross Bella's eyes. To know that the disgust was inspired by me, by my insensitive actions would be too much. She would probably kill me, for drinking human blood, as she said she had done so often. I knew that I would welcome that death, the escape from her repulsed eyes. But, even in hell, I wouldn't be able to forget them, and such lovely eyes didn't deserve to be thought of in such a place I turned around and escaped from the school, the temptation, and went back to the house, knowing that I would have to face my family.
And Bella.
That's the end of this bit. R&R, and make sure you read the warning in the last chapter about my going away. I changed my name to reflect me better! Thanks for reading!
Ninja Spork
