AN: first off, thanks for all reviews and follows. It means the world to me. I also wanted to tell you guys that I start work next week and I don't know if I'll be able to update every week. I will try but it might be every other week, but I only work for two months.

Also, I'm wondering how you like the length of the chapters? You want them longer? Shorter? As they are? Please let me know.

TW; slight angst, mention of panic attacks and addiction.


Chapter 9

The rest of the shift was normal, except the constant questions from Simon about him and Magnus. Alec knew that he was only snooping for Izzy, otherwise he wouldn't have answered anything and Simon wouldn't have asked anything either. He was annoyed by the questions but at the same time he was sad that Izzy couldn't ask them herself. Alec really missed his sister, he even missed the annoying parts of her, like this constant questioning about Alec's love life.

"So have you guys done it yet?"

"Simon, what the hell?!" Alec almost screamed.

"Sorry, Izzy wouldn't stop telling me to ask you" Simon muttered.

"Here, give me your phone" Alec reached out his hand toward Simon who let out a sigh of relief as he put his phone in Alec's hand.

Izzy, I love you, but mind your own business.. You don't need to know everything - A

Alec typed the text and sent it before giving the phone back to Simon. And they continued to clean the café in silence.

When he and Simon had cleaned up the café for the next day they stepped outside together, before saying goodbye and going their separate ways, Alec told him to say 'hi' to Izzy for him. But he also felt the need to ask how she was, he knew that if he asked her, all he'd get was "I'm fine Alec, don't worry about me". He knew that she wasn't fine, he knew that it wasn't just his life that turned harder when his father kicked him out, and the only one Izzy really talked to was Simon. Alec was also aware of the fact that Izzy already had problems before he got kicked out, that she'd struggled with panic attacks and addiction for a long time.

"She's doing alright, she still hates it at home. But she dosen't cry as much anymore, she's 100% clean too, no drinking, drugs or parties. Also I've just got my own apartment so she spends a lot of time there with me. But she really misses you Alec, she talks about you all the time, you can tell that she really loves you" Simon smiled, it was a sad smile though and Alec raised his eyebrow, not sure that he was telling him the whole truth.

"I wish that I could be there for her more.. I'm so glad that she has you" Alec said, running a hand through his hair. He didn't need to explain why he couldn't be there for Izzy like he wanted, Simon already knew and it just hurt more saying the reasons out loud. They had a sort of silent agreement on keeping it as vague as possible, when they didn't things got awkward and Alec's panic attacks crept closer. "Is she still seeing the doctor?"

"You're doing your best, she knows that and yes, she still sees him and they're making progress." Simon said, smiling at the mention of Izzy's progress.

"Yeah, well it's not enough. We both know that. At least she has you and that doctor"

"But it is. She hasn't given up on you, she believes that you two will be able to have a normal relationship again. You're both fighters." Simon said this with certainty and he even made Alec believe it, believe that one day he'd reunite with his sister properly. "You're going to find a way" he finished, making it sound so absolute, like he could see the future, like he knew what the future held for them.

"Yeah, I hope so" Alec whispered before clearing his throat "Anyway, thank you for taking care of her Simon and tell her that I love her"

Simon nodded "I will, see you tomorrow"

"Yeah, see you tomorrow" Alec said as he watched Simon turn and walk away. Alec really hoped that Simon was right, that one day this nightmare would be over and his sister would be alright.

The next day was like any other day, he worked, he sketched and he texted with Magnus. When his morning shift on Thursday finally ended he rushed outside to see Magnus in his car, waving at him. Alec felt how he smiled, big and brightly, once more Magnus managed to bring out the happiness in Alec, something no-one really had since his father kicked him out.

"Hi" Alec smiled as he opened the car door and climbed in.

"Hello" Magnus smiled back "where do you want to go?"

"I'd love to go anywhere that's not the city" Alec said, thinking back on their first date "but as long as you're with me it dosen't matter" he added, taking the opportunity to flirt a little. Magnus let out a short laugh, filling Alec's body with warmth. He loved being the reson behind that beautiful sound.

"I know just the place" Magnus smiled as he pulled out. Alec smiled when he saw Magnus hand resting between them, waiting for him to grab it. Alec placed his hand on Magnus's, feeling the warmth from him once again. It felt so right, it felt like they were made for each other. After such a sort time Magnus felt like home and Alec hadn't felt home in so long it was a strange feeling. Strange but good, almost too good. It scared Alec, he didn't know how Magnus felt and he didn't know what was going to happen between the two. But he pushed his insecurities aside for now, he wanted to enjoy this while it lasted, he just couldn't hope that it would last as long as he'd want. Nothing ever did. However Alec was going to savor every second with Magnus.

"What are you thinking about?" Alec heard Magnus ask him, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"You" he simply answered, blushing a little, embarrassed that Magnus could so easily see through him and know when he drifted off in thoughts.

"Yeah?" Magnus smiled and raised an eyebrow "is that good or bad?"

"Good" Alec answered, squeezing Magnus's hand, longing to move closer, to touch him more. Alec couldn't wait until they were out of the city, when they were alone. They rode in silence for about fifteen minutes before they leaved the city and Magnus pulled at Alec to move closer which he happily did. Sitting as close as he possibly could, resting his head on Magnus's shoulder.

"Now this is much better" Magnus whispered and placed a quick kiss on Alec's head.

"Mhm" Alec agreed and looked up to kiss Magnus's jawline, earning a low moan in agreement from him. Alec smiled and once again rested his head on Magnus's shoulder. They sat like that the rest of the way, Alec had no idea how long it took, he was just happy to sit there snuggled up to Magnus. When they stopped Magnus put a finger under Alec's chin, lifting his head up to meet Magnus's, for a moment they just looked into each others eyes, but then Magnus finally closed the space between their lips, the kiss was soft but passionate.

"I've wanted to do that since I saw you today" Magnus muttered against Alec's lips, making him smile "me too" Alec hummed in agreement before kissing Magnus again. To Alec's disappointment Magnus pulled away.

"As much as I like this" Magnus said, and before he could continue Alec kissed him again. "This?" Alec whispered and kissed him again.

"Mhm" Magnus hummed kissing Alec back before turning his head slightly. Alec however didn't let this stop him, he just continued kissing Magnus's face. Enjoying the taste and feeling of Magnus on his lips. "But I brought food and we have a little bit to walk before we're at the right place" Magnus whispered, not really doing anything to make Alec stop, rather he encouraged it by wrapping his fingers in Alec's hair, pulling him closer. Alec let his hand dance down Magnus's chest, his slik shirt soft on Alec's fingers, but he could sense the muscles underneath. Then he realized what he was doing and stopped, he let his hand rest on Magnus's chest and rested his face in the crook of Magnus's neck, catching his breath. "I'm sorry" he breathed out against Magnus's neck. Magnus moved back a little, once again lifting Alec's face to meet his.

"For what?" Magnus asked, smiling at him while his eyes travled all over Alec's face and body.

"For getting carried away" Alec looked away, biting his lip. Magnus was too intoxicating and Alec had problems keeping himself under control when around him.

"Hey" Alec felt Magnus hand on his cheek, gently guiding his face up to meet Magnus's again. He was met with a face full of warmth and care "you didn't do anything wrong. I was really enjoying it" he smiled, stroking Alec's cheek with his thumb.

"Glad you liked it, but we're supposed to be taking it slow" Alec bit his lip "I was ready to tear away your clothes" he talked without thinking and when he realized what he'd said he blushed.

"I noticed" Magnus grinned, kissing Alec's nose "I don't mind one bit"

"Yeah, well, now isn't the best time" Alec sighed "I believe you talked about walking the rest of the way to our destination?" Magnus laughed and pulled Alec with him out of the car, not letting go of Alec's arm, he walked around to the trunk and pulled out two bags. Alec reached for them, offering to carry the bags, but Magnus just smiled and sighed "fine, you can carry one" as he gave Alec one of the bags. They walked like that, side by side, hand in hand, as close as possible with a bag each for about one kilometer. Then they reached a glade, the tight forest opened up and in the middle was a small lake connected to the mountain raising up behind it. Water streamed down from the mountain, making the most beautiful waterfall Alec had ever seen.

"Wow" he breathed "how do you find these places?"

"My mom loved the nature" Magnus said, Alec noticed the past tense and the sad smile on his lips "she showed me all her favorite places, this is just the beginning" Magnus led Alec toward a big stone connected with the mountain.

"She sounds like a great mom" Alec said, hoping it wasn't too much, too soon. Magnus sat down and Alec followed.

"Yeah, she was" Alec could see the sorrow in his eyes, and it broke his heart, he needed to do something so he pulled Magnus closer, hugging him, pressing his face on his chest.

"I'm sorry, Mags" he whispered and kissed his forehead as he squeezed him tighter.

"I like that nickname" Magnus smiled at Alec, who just then realized what he'd said, he didn't think about what he'd said, not when he was with Magnus. All his guards melted away when he was around him. "And it was a long time ago" Magnus added, putting his head back on Alec's chest.

"If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here" Alec said, not wanting to pressure him but wanting Magnus to know that he could talk to him about anything, any time.

"Yeah" Alec felt Magnus take a deep breath "I can tell you now if you want"

"You can tell me whatever you want, whenever you want. Don't feel like I'm forcing you" Alec looked down at Magnus who looked back up.

"I know. I want to" he said "but it's a long story"

"Let's get comfortable then" Alec smiled, moving to lean against a the mountain wall, patting between his legs for Magnus to sit down. Magnus sat down between his legs, leaning his back against Alec's chest, Alec pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around Magnus. "That's better" Alec whispered in Magnus's ear before placing a soft kiss on his cheek. Alec was happy that Magnus wanted to share a story from his life with him, that he was getting to know him deeper. He wanted to know everything about Magnus and eventually he wanted Magnus to know everything about him. Alec wanted to hear about the good times and the bad times, he knew that there was nothing that could make his feelings for Magnus weaken.

"So, let's start from the beginning" Magnus said, moving even closer to Alec, placing his own hands over Alec's.


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