Hey sista,
Do you remember how we used to write letters to each other growing up? You wrote me quite a few, including one that says that I am the best big sister forever, and another one that talked about marrying a handsome price and living in a magic sugar castle when you were six.
Of course, that didn't happen, and the "handsome prince" you were dreaming of marrying all those years ago turned out to be… Jade West.
Now, I will never figure why you even like her, considering all the mean and horrible things she did to you when you both first met. My impression of her had always been bad, since her and I are like oil and water – we don't mix, that's for sure. But since you love her, and she has somehow become your fiancé, I guess I would keep my objections to myself.
However, if she ever bullies or treats you badly, remember your big sister always has your back. We can combine our sisterly powers and teach her a lesson, with you holding her down while I kick her ample bosom flat. You just have to let me know if you need me, ok?
By the way, I will need a pair of the latest orange Fazzini boots with 12-inch heels and a light pink dress to wear at your wedding. Don't worry, I have already picked them out and put them in my Amazon wish-list, you just have to pay for them.
Your forever loving big sister,
Trina
