Gah guys, I'm sorry for being late! I had a busy day yesterday . Buuuuut here's the last chapter of first year! :D Our boys are growing up so fast TvT

So, I have been substitute teaching a lot for the past few weeks, on top of my Target job, so I've been really busy. On the bright side, it seems like when I'm doing stuff like this that I start to get more inspiration, so I've been trying to revise and move forward with writing. My block at the moment is that the end of fourth year and all of fifth year that I've written so far is meh. I want it to be in better shape before I move on, so I'm doing my best to flesh out and enhance everything so that I can continue. But I'm going to be taking little breaks here and there probably.

Enough rambling. Kam, as always, I loved your review :D I'm glad that you like the liberties I've taken with the canon that we know about. I too love the fact that Remus and Sirius have their special bond. It's always going to be my headcanon lol. Patronousesandpotions, thank you as well for the review! :D I hope you continue to come back each two weeks XD

HEY DO YOU LIKE RP? I'm still involved in foundationsrp on tumblr (as Sirius), and we STILL don't have a Remus (we actually did have one in the beginning, but they disappeared, and then got another one that also disappeared so I'm very disappointed). There are tons of open characters left besides our favorite werewolf, so you should totally come by and apply! Or you could just read our threads and support us :D

Alright, that was my shameless plug, and now I disappear for two weeks. Hope you enjoy the chapter my darlings! Love ya!

~SXS

FOR WARNINGS AND DISCLAIMER, SEE FIRST CHAPTER AN.


"Sirius, what's bothering you?" Remus asked one morning at breakfast.

"What makes you think something's bothering me?" Sirius asked in return.

"Well, you keep lifting spoonfuls of porridge without actually eating them, and then letting them fall back into your bowl," the werewolf pointed out. As he said this, the cereal plopped back into bowl again, nearly splashing the boys.

Sirius looked down at his breakfast and sighed. "I'm just...I can't believe the year is almost over. That we'll be going home." There was only a week left before summer break, and he was apprehensive. He hadn't heard any word from Regulus about how his parents were feeling. Not that it mattered anyway, since there was nowhere he could go to hide from them this time. Even if they hadn't been thinking about him actively, their rage would surely resurface as soon as they saw him.

The dark-haired boy forced himself to eat a few spoonfuls of porridge to stop his friends from worrying, but even his favorite breakfast couldn't make his appetite come back. Though he knew he would probably feel better if he talked to them, he didn't want to sound like he was scared. He had dealt with his parents before and he should be able to deal with them now.

Yet he couldn't shake the feeling that this Gryffindor thing was the last straw. His parents had been mad before- livid more correctly- but their anger had never lasted so long. Perhaps because they had had to wait so long to punish him, they were able to cultivate it into something more. Sometimes he thought it would have been better for him to go home for Christmas when they had only stored up a few months of anger rather than almost a year.

He should have known, though, that he couldn't hide the depths of his feelings from Remus. James never asked too many questions about that sort of thing; he wasn't really a touchy-feely kind of guy. And he and Peter weren't close enough for the blonde boy to feel comfortable asking. But Remus worried, and while it was nice that he cared, Sirius wished he would let it go.

"Are you sure you're alright, Sirius?" he asked as they walked the halls to the dungeons. James was ahead of them with Peter and Remus spoke low to be sure they didn't hear.

"I'm sure, Rem. I'm fine."

"I know you don't want to have to face your parents," he continued. "I can ask my parents. I'm sure they wouldn't mind having you for the summer."

Sirius stopped walking and whirled around to face Remus. "Am I never supposed to go home? I can't keep running to your house for the next six years. It's not fair for your parents, and I want to see Regulus, and I just want to be able to go home without being scared!"

Remus looked past him at James and Peter, making sure they hadn't heard his outburst; thankfully they were too far down. Then he looked back to his friend with a pang of sympathy. He could never understand what it was like for Sirius, but he wanted to do anything he could to help because the other boy had done so much for him with his own circumstances. "Sirius-"

"Just," the pureblood cut him off. "don't say anything. There's nothing you can say that will make it better. It is what it is." Remus quirked his mouth in an expression of concern, but said nothing more. They continued the rest of the way in silence.

.:~I~S~S~:.

Sirius felt guilty for snapping at Remus, and he knew that the only way he was going to get any sort of reassurance was to talk to his brother and scope out what was going on at home. So, while Professor Binns droned about some Goblin War or other, he used the parchment he was supposed to take notes on to write to Regulus.

Dear Reg,

I haven't heard from you in a while. What's going on at home? I can only hope that the fact that you haven't written to me means that Mum and Dad are ready to let me in the house without biting my head off. I really don't feel like losing it (my head that is). I don't think I could find a replacement as pretty as the one I have now.

Can you believe that this school year is already over? That means that the next time I go to Hogwarts you'll be going with me. You'll finally be away from our lovely parents and get a taste of what real magic is like. You're gonna love it here, Regulus. It's incredible.

Anyway, write me back as soon as possible. I guess if it's not safe to come home I can stay with Remus. I feel bad though. They're already having a hard time as it is having a...well, one son. They shouldn't have to pay for a second one for three months.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Sirius

He folded the letter and put it in his bag to send later. He only hoped that Regulus would get back to him before it was too late.

.:~I~S~S~:.

During lunch, before he had the chance to send his letter, an owl suddenly flew into the Great Hall and landed in front of Sirius's plate. His heart leaped in his chest, thinking it could be Regulus with good news. But when he untied the letter from the owl's leg, he found not his brother's handwriting on the front, but someone else's.

"Who's it from?" Remus asked, looking over his shoulder. Sirius unrolled the parchment and began to read. James and Peter leaned over from across the table as well.

Sirius,

First of all, I must tell you of my extreme disappointment. You have disgraced the family name by being a Gryffindor and this is unacceptable. But seeing as how I have fought all year with Dumbledore to get you put into Slytherin to save the esteemed reputation of the House of Black, and he refuses to cooperate, I feel I must accept this fact as an inconvenient truth.

That being said, I also find your avoidance of home and punishment to be highly immature. Therefore I expect you to return to Grimmauld Place this summer and to take the consequences of your actions like a man. You are no longer a child and must act accordingly. I left the matter of your exact punishment to your mother. I'm sure it will serve to discipline you properly.

I also expect your behavior to be angelic over this summer vacation and if for any reason your mother contacts me with a complaint I will see to it that you are dealt with properly by myself.

Your Father

Sirius read the letter again before ripping it to shreds and throwing it to the table. Anjanette gathered the pieces into a small pile and cast a burning charm on them.

"Sirius..." Remus said putting a hand on his shoulder but he shook it off, getting up from the table and leaving the Great Hall. They watched him go, then Peter and James looked at Remus expectantly. "What?"

"Aren't you going to go talk to him?" James asked.

Remus looked to the door of the Great Hall. "I've tried."

"But he looked so upset," Peter said.

"Just give him time," Anjanette said. "He needs to be alone now." The boys looked at their female companion and decided she was right. They silently went back to lunch.

.:~I~S~S~:.

Sirius didn't stop until he was safely back in the Gryffindor Tower, then he slowed as he made his way up to the dorms. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes but he held them back, miserably trying not to cry.

It was so typical of his father to be so businesslike, talking to him as if he were talking to someone he employed. And it was only mildly surprising that he had been in touch with Dumbledore about the House situation. That was the way his father dealt with things. If he didn't like something he just sent a letter to someone and they would usually fix it because they were so scared of him. Sirius thanked Merlin that Dumbledore was not.

It was hard to deal with his father's stoicism. His mother's rage was one thing; it was something that could be combated easily and was even fun to mess with. But his father's cold, unfeeling indifference...He had no idea how to beat that.

It was pathetic, he thought, that he still wanted love from his father. After all the lack of emotion he had faced, there was still that one small part of him that desired acceptance. But even that part of him was realizing that he was the one who needed to do the accepting; accepting that his parents were just not like other parents and they never would be.

Sirius pulled out the letter he was going to send to Regulus. He supposed he didn't need it anymore. But rather than rip it up, he decided to practice his transfiguration on it. After all, he didn't have much else to do if he was going to skip lessons (which he most certainly was), and in a few days he wasn't going to be allowed to use magic for three months. He might as well make the most of what little time he had left. Putting the paper on his stomach, he concentrated on trying to turn it into a butterfly.

.:~I~S~S~:.

That night when Remus, James, and Peter returned to the dorms, they found Sirius lying flat on his back in bed, one arm behind his head, the other transfiguring a piece of parchment with his wand. It was a swirl of colors but had no distinct shape.

The three boys sat on their individual beds and looked at each other in silence and then to Sirius. Each was wondering whether or not to say anything to their friend, but before they could, he spoke himself. "You don't have to act funny. I'm fine."

"Are you sure, mate?" James asked. "You seemed pretty upset about that letter."

"No. Actually I'm kinda glad because now I know that Dad didn't have a say in my punishment. Whatever dear old Mumsy has in store should be bearable enough." Remus, James, and Peter exchanged a worried look. "Really, mates. I'm fine."

They didn't know for sure how much they believed it, but they didn't want to push the subject any further and dampen the end of the year spirits. "It won't be all bad. We'll all write each other," James said.

"Yeah, of course," Remus agreed. "You can get owls without a problem, right Peter?"

"I'll have to warn my mother. I guess she's going to have to get used to it eventually. Just make sure the owls aren't really big or wild," he replied.

"And we can meet in Diagon Alley to get our supplies," James said.

Now even Sirius was looking enthusiastic. "Yeah. And you can try some chocolate ice cream at Florean Fortescue's, Rem."

"Is there anything that they don't make chocolate into?" Remus asked.

James, ignoring the rhetorical attitude in which he had asked, replied, "Undergarments."

"And it's obvious why. They'd melt and get all over your arse and it'd look like you had an accident," Sirius said.

Remus laughed and shook his head. "Why am I friends with you guys?"

.:~I~S~S~:.

On the last day of term, with the end of the year feast soon to begin, the four Gryffindor boys found themselves finishing last minute packing and checking to be sure they weren't leaving anything behind. They wouldn't have much time the next morning with the train leaving so early from Hogsmeade, and they wanted to be able to enjoy dinner with nothing hanging over their heads. James and Peter managed to finish up quickly and left ahead of Sirius and Remus, promising to save them spots at the table.

Remus came out of the bathroom a moment later and went to his trunk to get his robes. "Who do you think will win the House Cup?" Sirius asked, though he didn't really care.

"Not sure. Probably Hufflepuff. They've had the least...infractions this year," Remus said.

The tawny-haired boy pulled out the black garment and slipped it on, then moved towards the door. When Sirius didn't follow, he turned to look back at the pureblood who was still sitting on his bed. "Are you coming?"

Sirius looked up from where he was staring at his lap, meeting Remus's confused amber eyes for a moment. Then he stood from his bed and walked over to the other boy, throwing his arms around him. Remus swayed a little, surprised by Sirius's sudden action, but when he was steady he hugged him back. "I'm gonna miss you, Rem," he whispered into his shoulder.

"I'll miss you too." They stayed as they were for a moment before Sirius pulled away. He looked at Remus with pink cheeks and chuckled.

"Sorry. I had to do it while James and Peter weren't around. Gotta keep up my reputation," he said the last part while sweeping a hand through his hair. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Come on, you ridiculous excuse for a bloke. Maybe you can borrow one of Anjanette's skirts before the feast starts." Sirius swatted playfully at Remus's tawny head.

"Would you rather have me be an unfeeling jerk like the rest of my family?"

"I guess not. Then you would have been in Slytherin and I would have been out a best friend." They smiled and laughed as they walked down to the Great Hall together.

.:~I~S~S~:.

With trunks and pieces of parchment with addresses on them in tow, the boys and Anjanette left the Hogwarts Express at King's Cross Station. Anjanette had promised her parents that she would meet them at the barrier and so she went off right away when had stepped onto the platform. James wanted to introduce his friends to his parents though, so he dragged them over when he spotted them.

James's mother was a bit on the pudgy side, though in a jolly sort of fashion. She had her auburn hair in a messy bun and her hazel eyes sparkled at the boys. His father looked just like him, from the messy hair to the skinny frame. All except for his eyes which were a bright blue.

"Mummy, Daddy, this is Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. You remember Peter from when I came home for Christmas." James swept his arm out in presentation.

"Hello, boys," Mrs. Potter said with a little nod to each of them. "James has told us so much about you." Mr. Potter also nodded with a smile.

"It's nice to meet you," Remus said, bowing slightly from the abdomen up.

Mrs. Potter opened her mouth to say something, when a piercing screech came from behind them. "SIRIUS ORION BLACK!"

Everyone turned towards where it had come from while Sirius instantly paled and gulped. When Remus saw who was approaching them, he gasped, recognizing the scary woman whom he had knocked into on the first day of the term. She was towing a boy who looked alarmingly like Sirius, but he realized that he was likely Regulus. And that meant that this woman was Sirius's mother.

"M-Mum," Sirius said, as if to confirm his friend's suspicions.

"What are you doing standing around here?! Get over to the Floos this instant so we can get home and deal with your punishment!" She yanked at his wrist and he almost fell over. Then her icy blue eyes scanned Mr. and Mrs. Potter up and down. "Blood traitors. These are the kinds of people you associate with?" She turned on her son.

"Excuse me," Mr. Potter said. "But if accepting everyone is considered betrayal to purebloods, then-"

"You stay out of this, Potter," she snapped. "I don't have to take anything from a filthy Muggle-lover like you."

"Who cares if they like Muggles?" Sirius challenged, pulling his arm away. "They're good people and I'm more like them than you! That's why I'm in Gryffindor." But he regretted saying this as soon as it was out of his mouth. If his mother was angry before, now she was enraged. Her eyes blazed with fury and she grabbed him by the ear this time.

"You aren't even prepared for what I'm going to do to you now! Just want until your father hears about this!" She started dragging him away and all the others could do was watch silently. She manhandled him to one of the Floo stations and threw him in before following with Regulus in tow.

"Unbelievable," Mrs. Potter breathed. "Even after all these years she is still awful."

"You knew her, Mummy?" James asked.

"We went to Hogwarts in the same year. Always a brute, Walburga. Used to hex anyone that even so much as looked at her the wrong way." She shook her head sadly. "When you told me that you were friends with a Black I was a bit surprised, because I didn't think that you would want to hang around with someone like her, but I suppose they're not alike, are they?"

"Not at all," Remus said first. There was an awkward silence for a moment before Remus and Peter excused themselves to find their parents. James waved goodbye to his two friends as they went their separate ways for the summer. Remus could only hope that whatever was in store for Sirius at home wasn't as bad as he was imagining it could be.

.:~I~S~S~:.

As soon as the three Blacks were back in the living room of Grimmauld Place, Sirius rounded on his mother. "I didn't even get to say goodbye!"

"Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry," she sneered. "Perhaps I should have let you since you won't be seeing that lot again anytime soon."

Sirius's heart instantly dropped into his stomach in fear. Were they planning on taking him out of school? "Why not?" he dared to ask.

"You are grounded indefinitely and are not allowed to send or receive any letters!" There was a malicious glint in her eyes that told him she was enjoying his punishment far too much for a normal parent.

Compared to his predictions, this was a relief, but it was still upsetting. "If my friends don't hear from me they'll think you've killed me after that scene back there."

"They can think whatever they like. There's nothing they can do about it." Sirius's blood was boiling and he wanted to scream at her and Floo back to the station and go home with James or Remus or even Peter. Anything just to not have to look at her.

His hands were balled into fists, his arms were shaking, and he felt himself ready to explode. But then he caught sight of Regulus behind their mother, looking at him with scared eyes and desperately shaking his head. Sirius knew he was right, and that making his mother any angrier would just land him in the basement for the summer. He took a deep breath and relaxed, then plastered an overly bright smile onto his face.

"Alright mother, dearest, I'll be going up to my room then. Send up the bread crust and water whenever you like." Then he proceeded to skip to the hallway and up the stairs to his room, but when he got there he slammed the door and locked it.

Sirius pressed his back against the door and slid to the ground, burying his face in his knees. Not even home for five minutes and already he wished he were back at Hogwarts. Being trapped wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the fact that he wasn't even allowed to send letters to his friends. He was going to miss them even more if he couldn't talk to them until September. Already the loneliness was eating at him.

He crawled into bed and curled up, closing his eyes as there was nothing better to do.

He wasn't sure how long it had been but a knock at the door awoke him from his light sleep. "Siri?" came a voice. Sirius sat up quickly, heart leaping in his chest. Could Remus be here to break him out somehow?

He got up and unlocked the door, opening it with anticipation, only to find his brother on the other side. His heart sank as he remembered the fact that Regulus also called him Siri. He had been hearing it so often from Remus that he had grown used to expecting it to come from him.

"Oh, hey Reg."

"I brought you some food. Mum didn't want to give you anything so I waited." Sirius looked up at the clock on his wall and saw that it was close to midnight. Regulus brought in the little plate of leftovers and sat on the bed next to him. The sight of the food made him realize how hungry he was and he dug in, even though it cold.

"Isn't it funny? Last time we were together we did this. Hanging out in the middle of the night," he said between mouthfuls.

"Yeah." Regulus watched him as he ate and seemed to be staring at his chest. Sirius thought he must have spilled some food on it or something, and looked down. But then he realized that his brother must have been looking for the locket.

"It's under my shirt," he answered the unasked question and pulled the gold chain out. "I didn't want my friends to see me wearing jewelry. What would they think of me?" Regulus rolled his eyes, but he did look satisfied to see the locket around Sirius's neck. "Plus if Mumsy sees this she'll know that one of us went through her things, and I'm sure she won't blame you."

"That's true," Regulus agreed. He paused for a minute before he said, "I can help you with your letters."

"I don't think there's anything you can do to help, and I don't want you getting in trouble too." But Sirius felt touched that he had offered.

"I want to, though," he said. "It's not fair that you won't get to speak with your new friends. I'll send the owls at night and try to get them before Mum can see. She didn't say that I couldn't send and receive letters." A wicked grin spread across the older brother's features.

"Brilliant, Regulus! I guess I'm rubbing off on you after all." He ruffled his hair and Regulus swatted at his hand.

"Alright, alright. I have to go to bed now, before anyone notices I'm gone." He got up and went to the door, taking the empty plate from Sirius with him. "Goodnight, Siri," he said when he reached the door.

"Goodnight, Reg." Regulus smiled and closed the door. Sirius felt a warm rush of affection for his little brother and his hand reached up to touch the locket hidden beneath his clothes. At least there was one good thing about being home.