A/N: Ok, it's time for the big reveal! And I know you all are waiting patiently and excited about who it is. Some of you guessed right, but don't worry, I didn't let you know. I think that this has been a really difficult chapter to write for me because it's something I hope no one has to deal with – the emotions that she is going through – and I really just wanted to make sure I did it justice. Oh yeah, mini poll at the bottom in the author's note, plus a little surprise!
As always – CaughtMyselfFalling – my main bitch, I love you and I can't do it without ya.
Without further ado, the continuing saga of A Night to Remember…
Disclaimer: Steph. Meyers owns all twilightly things, I just help by smutting her characters up a bit!
?FemalePOV
I sat back on the desk, watching him try to figure out the connection between me and the name. It was, interesting to say the least, watching the emotions flash across his face. I let myself wander back to the exact moment when I figured out that this man was someone from my past.
"Guys, come here!" Bella squealed.
I rolled my eyes and got off my bed and walked over to Bella's computer and looked at the screen. She was, as usual, Facebook stalking – this time it was Edward and I had to hold in a giggle. I told her that if college didn't work out she could always make a living being a high tech private eye – I swear, give her a first name and the first letter of the last and she could find whoever you were looking for. Sometimes she didn't even need that, it was scary.
I wasn't really paying attention until a picture flashed up on the screen and I felt my heart drop into my stomach. The background was hard to discern but it was obvious that it was a party, a Halloween party at that – the cobwebs and slutty girls gave it away. But that wasn't the important part, the really interesting part were the three men standing front and center. They were all dressed differently but only one stood out. To the left of Edward, who was in the middle, was a pair of eyes I had grown to love, the same slightly curly hair that my fingers itched to run through and the mouth that I wanted to devour with my own.
Gasping I ran back to my desk and searched through the mess of papers, finally finding the slightly crumpled and inconspicuous white piece of paper. The writing on it was smudged by hours of silent tears but it didn't matter. I had memorized the words after reading it five times before letting the words sink in. I closed my eyes and silently began reciting them to myself:
'Victoria –
I have never had a night like last night. But it was a mistake. I never meant for this to happen. I'm sorry.'
I hadn't realized I whispered the last part out loud. My eyes were clenched shut and it took everything in me not to cry. I finally opened my eyes and made contact with his beautiful eyes. I allowed myself to get caught up in their vulnerability, the way that the light hit them and there was a sparkle that was quickly overshadowed by the hurt and shame in them.
"Why?" That was the only word that escaped my lips. I looked away not able to keep his gaze anymore for fear of exposing myself anymore than I already had. I cleared my throat and repeated myself a little louder now, "Why? Why leave? Why not wake me up and give me a fighting chance? Why not give this a chance? Why?"
I jumped off the desk and threw the note at him. He was silent, his face a perfect mask. Completely emotionless and void, I think it was shock. I took his silence as a cue to continue my little rant.
"Do you know what it's like to wake up from one of the greatest nights of your life and realize that it was all in passing? To feel like every word that was spoken between us was just a line, another way to coax the young, dumb co-ed out of her panties for a little fun? No, YOU GOT TO LEAVE SO YOU DON'T KNOW!" I screamed at him out of frustration and began pacing at a frantic pace. "Say something…. SAY SOMETHING!"
The silence in the room was deafening. I closed my eyes and though back to that morning.
First semester – the next day
I was woken up by the blinding sun coming through the blinds in my room. Wait, not my room – the room at in the Delta Rho Kappa frat house where the campus' biggest Halloween party was held last night. I remembered arriving with my girls, dressed like an angel and seeing the sexiest cop in existence. There was flirting and drinking, more flirting and a lot more drinking. Eventually we ignored everyone else and left to have our own party – for 3 straight hours. I grinned just thinking about how sore I was going to be today and how I was going to love it.
I opened my eyes slightly and cleared my throat to say good morning to him when I realized that I was alone. Sitting up I grabbed for my clothes and after putting myself back together slightly I saw the note on the edge of the bed. Swallowing the lump in my throat filled with dread and shame I read the writing on the page. My head swam as I soaked in the words, reading them over and over and over until I realized I was shaking. I pulled my phone out and called Bella, telling her I needed her to come and get me because I really didn't trust myself to take that 'Walk of Shame' by myself. I let the words swirl around my head and I broke down in that lonely and strange room surrounded by his scent and the memories we had made not even 10 hours ago…
"I'm sor-" He began. His words – especially those words – brought me back to the present and the issue at hand.
"NO! Say anything but that. I don't want your apologies, I want your explanation." I shot back at him.
His mouth opened and closed a few times and I could see the gears turning in his head. I wanted nothing more to punch him in the face, and then hold him close to me. I just wanted so hard to believe whatever he was going to say, but there was just a part of me that was so scared of getting close just to be crushed and defeated again.
"I can't believe what I've done." His voice was barely above a whisper and strained. "I was stupid, although you know that already. I just, really never thought that I would ever see you again."
"Oh so you just always go around with random girls you meet at parties and fuck them?" I wasn't holding back and I knew that my words stung.
"No, no!" He was getting angry – good. "I meant that I didn't think I would ever see you again so I didn't know how to react. I didn't know if you were going to wake up and think that this was just a giant drunken mistake or that I was just a faceless John who caught your eye. I had no idea what to think and I realize that leaving without talking about it with you was probably the stupidest thing I could have done, but I did it in the name of self-preservation."
I gawked at him. That wasn't exactly what I was thinking but it did give me the perfect opportunity to turn this around on him.
"So you decided that instead of feeling all those scary and awkward emotions that you would just let ME take the brunt of all of them? That it was more okay to make me feel worthless all in the idea of … self-preservation." I spat the last word at him. "Self-preservation, my ass. Cowardice – that's what that is. You would rather make me hurt instead of facing it yourself, you ran away from a scary situation instead of dealing with it."
He stared at me a look of pure guilt on his face and I smiled smugly. Ha, I knew it.
"I'm a coward." He said quietly, more to himself than to me but I knew that he meant for me to hear it.
I really didn't expect him to outwardly admit it but I shook my head and said, "Excuse me?"
"I'm a coward. A fucking coward. I can't believe it, I really never thought about how you would feel, and I can't really explain how sorry I am that you've cried over me. I never wanted that." His voice was quiet but confident and I could only hear truth in it. I let my guard down slightly and lifted his chin up slightly.
"Hey, I'm up here. Look at me." I look at him and smiled slightly. "This is something that's been plaguing my mind for awhile and I guess I really just needed …wait, how did you know that I cried over this?" I was curious because I didn't remember telling him.
"The note, the letters are smeared and it looks like it is almost unreadable, but I have a feeling those words will never leave your mind." He said sheepishly. "I know you don't want to hear the words but may I please apologize?"
I bit my bottom lip and shook my head slightly.
"I just cannot believe how much I've hurt you. I am so sorry that these words cut into your perfect soul and made you think any less of yourself. You should never be made to feel any less than you are – perfect. I could apologize and say 'I'm sorry' until I'm blue in the face but I know that it wouldn't take the hurt away or erase the memory." His large hands grabbed mine and held them tenderly. "I'm sorry but I promise you that if you give me a second chance to prove myself I will be nothing than more than everything for you."
I blinked back the tears in my eyes and allowed myself to be absorbed by the words coming from this beautiful man's mouth. I leaned forward and kissed him softly, a tender and genuine kiss. Our lips fit together perfectly and there was no rush or hesitancy in it. It was his way of letting me know that he truly was sorry and it was a way for me to let him know that I accepted that. I finally let the tears spill out of my eyes and smiled slightly. Pulling back I felt his calloused thumbs wiping the stray tears off my cheeks.
"I want you to know something though. Just because I kissed you and just because you apologized doesn't mean that I'm going to let this go completely, there will always be a part of me that will worry and be scared, but I do trust you more than before and I do believe your words." I smiled at him through cloudy eyes.
"Are you alright, why are you crying?" His voice was panicked and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Oh… these are happy tears you silly man!" I grinned and let out a small chuckle.
He grinned and his smile lit up the room. I had never seen him so happy and I grabbed the note off his lap and began ripping it up into little pieces. I was finally letting my part of my past go and embracing my future and hopefully it was one staring this hunk of man sitting in front of me.
"So, last night was fun, eh?" He asked with a sly smile on his face. "I personally think that we should steal that game and have a little one-on-one game. And let's just say we can skip the drinking parts." He waggled his eyebrows and grabbed me, pulling me onto his lap and nuzzled my neck.
"Oh Jasper…"
A/N: Okay, I know that was my shortest chapter to date but I really wanted to get you guys an update. And I know it's been like 2 chapters without smut – I know, sac religious - but I promise that next chapter will be one of our lucky couples getting it on. *cue sex music*
What I want from you are … well REVIEWS! And this time I'm going to take a book from some of my favorite authors and offer you a little sneak peek into the sexy times ahead. So, leave me a review and get a little smut in your inbox – it's a total win-win!
Mini Poll: What is your favorite sexy time song? Your theme song for getting it on or a song that just makes you wanna drop your panties when you hear it? Let me know in your review!
R&R R&R R&R
