I know, I know. D;
I'm thinking that my update schedule might need to change. My maternity leave job at the one school is ending, but I'm trying to get another one, so I'd still be busy in the coming semester. Maybe I need to cut down to once a month, just so that I at least get these chapters out to you guys when I say.
Anyway, I'm giving you guys two chapters to make up for my lack in updates. I'm also hoping that over the Christmas break that I'll be able to get some writing done. I'm pretty set on how everything is going to go down up through the summer of the boys' fifth year, but after that...eh. XD
The Silvernote, Welcome to the story and thank you for your reviews! Glad to hear you're enjoying the story so far :) I always thought that it made more sense for James and Sirius not to get along. Their families would have told them bad things about the other family in my mind.
katiek121, me too! And it's almost here in real life!
Kam, it's not Remus's fault that Sirius is keeping this a secret. I don't think he realizes how hurt Sirius is because of Mary or he wouldn't go out with her anymore. It's just a misunderstanding. Don't give up on our boys yet.
jaeenkil, thank you!
Cadair-Idris, welcome! And thank you so much for your kind words ^^ I'm glad to see you're liking the story. I think my update schedule is going to be something like once a month from now on XD If you want to find out exactly when there's a new chapter, I have a tumblr at sxs-fanfics where I post once I update :)
Alright my dearies. I probably won't post again until after Christmas, so if you celebrate, then Merry Christmas! And if not, then enjoy your holiday break! :D Love ya!
~SXS
FOR WARNINGS AND DISCLAIMER, SEE FIRST CHAPTER AN.
On New Year's Eve, Remus and Sirius Flooed to James's with all their things so that they could stay until it was time to go back to school. They spun out of the fireplace and into the living room at Potter Manor, which had been lavishly decorated for the holidays in red, green, and gold. Sirius was in awe, having never seen the Potters' house before, or a place that was so covered head to toe in Christmas spirit. The décor even gave Hogwarts a run for its money.
Having heard them arrive, James's messy head suddenly peeked around the corner. "Hey, mates!"
"Prongsie!" Sirius bounded over and gave him a squeeze. "I've missed you, my darling."
James laughed and put a hand to his forehead as though he were about to swoon. "Oh, Padfoot. It's been miserable without you."
"It's alright now, my love," Sirius said, pulling away but keeping his hands on James's waist. "We're together now." He had to laugh inwardly, wondering if James would fool around with this like him anymore if he knew that he was actually gay. Then again, was he really 'gay' if he'd only ever fancied one boy? Either way, it had never crossed his mind not to do this anymore, because his feelings for Remus and newfound sexuality didn't change anything else about himself.
"I hate to interrupt such a touching reunion, but I'd rather not watch you snog," Remus said, half-amused but also half-serious.
Sirius feigned a scandalized expression. He brought his hand up to pull James's face towards his own, so they were pressed cheek to cheek. "You should be honored that you could witness such an amazing expression of true love."
James pulled back and reached up to trace Sirius's cheek with a finger. "Ours is too pure a love for this world, Padfoot. We'll have to wait until we're in private."
"I'm holding you to that," Sirius said with a wink. Remus just shook his head, and the two purebloods finally broke apart. The bespectacled boy picked up his friends' bags.
"C'mon. Pete and I have been working on the map in my room." He led the way out of the living room to the grand staircase which they climbed up to the second floor. James's room was down a long hall that was filled with portraits of generations of Potters.
"Has anyone in your family ever had normal hair?" Sirius asked as he examined each of the Potter men.
"Well, excuse me, young man," one of them said. "But our messy hair is the very reason for Fleamont's success."
Sirius snorted. "Who's Fleamont?"
"My dad," James said as they approached his room. "He created Sleekeazy's."
Sirius's mouth dropped open. "No way. That's like the most popular hair potion on the market."
James grinned proudly. "That's right. My dad's a hero for everyone with bad hair."
"Yet he couldn't find it in himself to share his discovery with his only son," Sirius joked, elbowing Remus in the ribs as he did. The werewolf chuckled, and James's expression deflated.
"My hair is amazing. It always looks like I just got off a broom," he said, running a hand through the mop for emphasis. "Ladies love a man who knows how to fly." Sirius and Remus exchanged exasperated eye rolls.
James led them through the doorway into his room, a huge space decorated fully in Gryffindor colors and ornate, dark wood furniture, where they found Peter waiting on the floor, the map spread in front of him. "Hey guys," he said, grinning up at them when he spotted the new arrivals.
"I am so decorating my room like this when I go home," Sirius said as he looked around.
"Hello, Peter. How was your Christmas?" Remus asked as he took a place next to him. He was really coming along with the drawing, already almost finished with the second layer.
"It was great! My mum's dinners get better every year," Peter said. "How was the you-know-what?"
"I'm still a little sore," Remus admitted.
"Hey, that reminds me," Sirius said, grabbing their bags from James. He opened Remus's and pulled out the book on Eastern magical practices that they'd taken from his house, as well as the transfiguration book. "Here, you can have this back," he said to James, handing the latter to him. "This," he continued, holding up the former, "is going to help us with the meditation. It's got all kinds of tips for unlocking your chi."
"Brilliant!" James said, setting aside his parents' book on the bed before taking the other and flipping it open. Sirius moved behind him and read over his shoulder. "Merlin, this is a whole ordeal in itself. How could we have ever figured out on our own how to properly meditate?"
"Right? I mean look at all these steps," Sirius said, tracing his finger down the page. "Setting the atmosphere, maintaining posture, breathing…"
James closed the book. "I think we've been spreading ourselves too thin lately. We need to concentrate on one thing at a time if we're going to get anything done." He looked to Peter, who had moved to kneel, sitting on his heels. "We might have to put the map on hold for now."
Remus bit his lip guiltily at this, especially when he saw Peter's face fall. Drawing the map was the smallest Marauder's biggest contribution, and he was very enthusiastic about the fact that he was doing something the rest couldn't. "No, you don't have to stop working on the map. I don't want you to have to give up on anything just for this."
"Nah, Moony, don't be like that," James said. "This is the most important project right now. The map will be waiting when we're done." Sirius and Peter, who put aside his enthusiasm for the map at the moment, gave firm nods of agreement.
Remus looked from one boy to the next. Even though he still felt bad that they had to go out of the way for him, none of them looked ready to let him argue. He sighed. "I don't deserve you lot," he said with a smile.
"Of course you do," Sirius disagreed with a grin. "Why else would the universe have you become friends with three such loyal, sacrificing, selfless, handsome gents?"
"Don't forget modest," Remus deadpanned, to which they all laughed.
The group decided that they would work on the map up until they returned to school for the new semester, as they didn't think they could get any meaningful meditation done until then. Thus, for the rest of the afternoon, Peter continued working on the drawing, and the others watched while chatting idly. As evening approached, however, they were interrupted by Mrs. Potter, who told them that the party was starting downstairs. The boys folded the map away for the time being.
"You all brought dress robes, right?" James asked as he went to his wardrobe to pull out his set. When he turned around, he found each of them with a blank stare. "Did I not mention that this was a formal party? Ah, well, I think we can dig up some up from somewhere." He went back into his wardrobe and produced a second set. "Here, Pads, this should fit you." He tossed them at Sirius. "You two can probably fit into my dad's old ones," he said to Remus and Peter.
James led them down the hall once again, but to the opposite end where his parents' room resided. It was twice as big as his own and just as proudly decorated. He opened one of the large wardrobes and dug around inside. Sirius started to take off his clothes while he waited, and Remus found himself unconsciously watching.
After a minute or so of looking, James pulled out two more sets of dress robes and handed them off to his friends before changing himself. Remus held the borrowed outfit up against him. It seemed the right height, but like it would be too large around the center. Unfortunately, he didn't have much else of a choice, so he faced away from the others, pulled his jumper over his head, and climbed out of his trousers. There was a faint sound of someone inhaling more sharply than they should have, and that was when he remembered that his friends had never seen the scars on his back before.
"Please stop looking," he murmured, clutching more tightly at the material in his hands.
"Moony-" Sirius started.
"Just don't," Remus cut him off. His friends didn't respond, and he couldn't hear them moving either, so the only way he could stop their stares was to finish dressing. When he turned around again, they finally continued changing.
Once they were all ready, they headed down the stairs. In the last few hours, the lower level of the house had steadily filled with guests. Men and women in dress robes and gowns were mingling, with goblets in their hands or floating nearby. House elves were walking around and offering finger foods, music was coming from a band of self-playing instruments, and the decorations that had been Christmas themed only just that morning were now elegant silver and gold.
"Care for mead, sirs?" a small voice said at their feet. The Marauders looked down to see one of the house elves with a tray of goblets, each containing a dark, spicy-smelling drink.
"Ah, this stuff is great. My dad buys it every year," James said, grabbing cups and passing one to each of his friends. "Thanks, Leaf."
"Of course, sir," Leaf said and moved on to the other guests.
James lifted his goblet. "I propose a toast. To a new year and all our endeavors paying off. Cheers."
"Cheers," the others said simultaneously, and they touched their cups together before taking swigs. Remus grimaced at the burn in his throat, having never tasted alcohol that was that strong, and Peter shared his expression. Sirius, however, was licking his lips.
"That's fantastic. It tastes like Christmas pudding in liquid form," he said.
"Right?" James agreed with a grin as they finished their portions.
"You can have mine then," Remus said, passing his goblet to Sirius. "It's a bit much for me."
"Yeah, I prefer butterbeer," Peter said, giving his to James.
"Oh well. More for us." Sirius and James clinked their second goblets together and chugged them down. "So, what kind of fun things do your parents have planned for the night?"
James groaned, his disposition completely turning around. "Why do you think I invited you lot? This party is always the most boring event of the year. Just a bunch of suits standing around and 'schmoozing'."
Sirius's lips curled up into a sly grin. "Then how about we liven things up?"
Coming around full circle, James matched Sirius's expression perfectly. "Sirius Black, you are like the brother I've always wanted. I already have a list of ideas."
.:~I~S~S~:.
For the rest of the cocktail hour, many of the Potters' guests found their drinks becoming dangerously hot or exploding in their faces, their appetizers trying to bite them in return, and their vocal cords hijacked, bending to the will of the Marauders. It got to the point that many of them were enraged enough to want to leave (some actually did), but Fleamont Potter was unperturbed. He simply shot his son a subtle wink and thumbs up, and James thought perhaps his father would be open to discussion of a more casual party for the next year.
Eventually a gong sounded, gathering what guests had remained through the mischief to the dining room. The boys sat in a row near the center of a table nearly as long as one in the Great Hall. In similar fashion to Hogwarts, there were serving dishes filled with delicious food and pitchers of beverages, one of which James was already grabbing to top off his and Sirius's mead.
"Don't you think you've had enough by now?" Remus asked. The boys had had another goblet full each in the midst of their pranks.
"C'mon, Moony. You can never have too much mead," James said. He didn't seem to be adversely affected by the alcohol, as he was used to drinking at these parties.
The same could not be said for Sirius, who was nodding a bit too enthusiastically. "Mmm, yeah. S'good stuff." At this point he was just tipsy, but at the rate he was gulping down the spirit, that wouldn't last long. Remus only hoped that if he got drunk enough to vomit that it was aimed somewhere other than his way.
It wasn't long until the room was rumbling with the sounds of chewing and conversation. Remus hadn't ever realized before how quiet the Great Hall could be at mealtimes considering its average number of occupants. But the size and high ceilings must have made the difference because being in this small dining room without even half as many people was proving to be quite a calamitous situation. His sensitive ears were picking up every scratch of metal on porcelain, every politely muffled belch and smacking of lips as if they were right next to him. He closed his eyes, trying to block out the copious amount of noise by finding a conversation to focus on.
"…just terrible, really," someone a little way down the table was saying.
"Thank goodness for families like the Potters. Shows there's some decent purebloods left in the world," another voice said.
"I hear this guy isn't even a pureblood," yet another chimed in. "How can he act so high and mighty when he's exactly what he says is wrong?"
"Obviously it doesn't matter, as long as purebloods are agreeing with him," the first one said. "He'll wind up having the support of some of the strongest witches and wizards of our time. There's no telling what he might accomplish."
Remus frowned as he listened to this exchange, wondering what they could be talking about. But he heard someone calling to him and his focus shifted.
"Moony," Peter repeated. "Are you okay?"
Remus opened his eyes to find the pudgy boy watching him in concern. He flushed. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Just…loud in here," he said.
"Oh." Then realization dawned on his face. "Oh. Right. Well, do you want to maybe go sit in the living room for a bit?"
"I'll be fine," Remus assured him. "But thanks." He smiled in appreciation and Peter practically beamed. His eyes then dropped to Remus's chest.
"Where'd you get that?" he asked, spotting his necklace. Remus looked down, not having realized that it was showing. He'd been wearing it under his shirt, but the large collar of the dress robes had allowed it to slip out on its own.
"It's from Mary," he said, tucking it back under his shirt. This got James's attention. Sirius poured himself more mead.
"You two have been together for a while now," James said with a cheeky grin. "How much have you gotten up to?"
"Nothing that you're thinking of, Prongs," Remus said, face warm. "We're not like that."
"Not yet." The messy-haired boy waggled his eyebrows and Remus just shook his head. "You've at least snogged, right? And I mean, like really snogged because those little kisses I've seen are not snogging." Sirius threw back a swig of his drink.
Remus was feeling like he might overheat. "I'd really rather not discuss this."
"Come on, Remus," James urged. "You're the one who has the most experience out of all of us now. You have to share so that we can all live vicariously through you."
The tawny-haired boy let out an exasperated sigh. "Alright, yes. We've snogged."
"What's it like?" Peter asked, eyes wide and curious. Sirius was refilling his cup again.
Remus had to think about his answer. Truthfully, he didn't know how to describe it. It felt nice, though it was a bit wet sometimes and required being far up in someone else's space. Sometimes it was a struggle to breathe, and sometimes Mary's tongue felt like a wet sausage. If he was being fully honest with himself, he usually preferred the shorter, chaste kisses over the make out sessions.
"I think it's something you need to experience for yourself," he finally answered, before returning to his food. Peter's shoulders drooped a little, disappointed with that answer, but he went back to eating as well. Remus felt bad that he hadn't told him what he wanted to hear, but he didn't want to discuss his kissing habits in this particular setting. Besides that, he wanted to see if he could tune into the people he'd been listening to before. He focused his ear again, searching the table.
"…perfect time to be a student, eh?" he caught the third voice saying.
"No doubt," the second one said. "Hogwarts is a fortress. I've thought about applying for a job simply to know I'm under Dumbledore's protection."
"Arthur was telling me Dumbledore's started some resistance group," the first said. "I'm sure that comes with some guarantee of protection."
"But at what cost?" the third mused.
"Well, certainly you won't be expected to just sit around and weave baskets," the second said.
The conversation tapered off topic, and so Remus stopped trying to listen, but he was concerned about what he'd heard. He'd never really paid attention to current events simply because he wasn't at the age where that sort of thing mattered to him. But hearing that there was a threat that had Dumbledore taking action made him uneasy. He was going to have to start reading the Daily Prophet.
As the platters on the table were switching from dinner to dessert, Remus noticed that the scent of alcohol which had been continually stinging his nose was reaching a peak. He realized he hadn't checked on Sirius in a while and turned towards him. Said boy was gulping down more mead, head tipped back as he drained his goblet.
"Ahh, tha's the stuff!" he said, slamming the cup down. Remus looked horrified, but no one else around them had a reaction, otherwise engaged.
"Sirius, how many more goblets of mead have you had?" he asked.
"Mead? I'd love some!" Sirius thrust his cup in Remus's face. The werewolf pushed his arm away gently, the answer to his question now obvious.
"What's wrong with Sirius?" Peter asked around a mouthful of cake, leaning forward a little to see past Remus.
"He's drunk," the tawny-haired boy sighed. "James, you never should have-James?" But the other dark-haired Marauder had his eyes closed, chin to his chest. "Lovely."
Sirius's head crashed onto Remus's shoulder, eyes facing the ceiling. "Moo…Moons. Moony. Moony, we gotta…We gotta meditart." He giggled. "Le's…We gotta meditate."
"The only thing we've got to do is to get you to sleep," Remus said. He put Sirius's arm around his shoulders and stood up with him. "Peter, tell Mr. and Mrs. Potter about James, yeah?" The other boy nodded, and Remus half-dragged Sirius out of the dining room before he could make a scene.
"Where we goin'?" Sirius asked, purposefully swaying as they walked.
"To James's room," Remus said as they approached the stairs. He already knew this would be a daunting task.
"Ah, Jamesie. Jim, Jimmy, Jimory!" Sirius sang as they laboriously climbed the steps. "James's room's sooo nice."
Remus couldn't help a little smirk. At least Sirius was a giddy drunk, and his behavior was entertaining. He wished he could take pictures to show him later. "I think you'll be quite happy in his bed," he said.
"Yeah, s'nice 'cause it's colored for GRYFFINDOR!" Sirius bellowed.
Remus flinched as his eardrums rang and he shushed him. "Save that enthusiasm for tomorrow when you're hungover."
"Pah. I don't get hungover. 'M Sirius Black!" Sirius pounded his chest with a fist.
"How would you know? You've never been drunk before," Remus pointed out.
"Shhhhhhh, no one has to know that," Sirius whispered, and now Remus was really trying hard not to laugh.
After conquering the stairs, the hallway was easy. Sirius spoke to a few portraits on the way, who came away anywhere from amused to insulted. When they finally reached the bedroom, Remus let his plastered friend drop onto the duvet. He sat down next to him, not planning to return to the party as he didn't want to leave Sirius alone in this state.
Sirius sprawled over the bed and closed his eyes, humming softly. "Moooony."
"Yes, Sirius?"
"'M a li'l jealous," he said. "Jus' a li'l though."
Remus smiled wryly down at him. "Jealous of what?"
"Mmm…Mary," Sirius sighed out. "Mary, Mary quite contrary!" he continued with a giggle.
Remus's smile disappeared. "Mary? Why?"
Sirius just rolled over onto his back and opened his eyes to stare up at him, the blue-gray irises slightly glazed in his current state. "Maryyyy," he sang. "Why Mary why? Why not…" He stopped and held Remus's gaze for a long moment. "Why not…" His heavy eyelids then slid shut and Sirius passed out.
Remus was stunned silent as he started down at the unconscious Marauder. His heart was racing, unsure what to make of what had just happened. Was Sirius so drunk that he didn't know what he was saying, or…was he saying things he'd never admit to when sober?
More importantly, what did he want to be true?
