The next morning Sirius woke up with a raging headache and hair in his mouth. He groaned, trying to move his head, but found that it was being held in place by someone's hand and arm. "Merlin's bloody balls," he muttered, opening his eyes and wincing as the light made the pounding in his skull worse. James's mess of hair was pressed up against his face, the boy himself wrapped around him in every possible way. "Prongs," he croaked. "Ger'off, Prongs, c'mon." He pushed weakly at James but the boy's grip was like a vice, and he was out cold.

"Look who's awake," a voice said, and Sirius could just barely see Remus standing in the doorway, holding two mugs.

"Moony," Sirius whined. "Help."

Remus laughed and walked over to the bed, putting the mugs down on the side table. "I had no idea James was such a cuddler," he said as he helped to pry the messy-haired Marauder off Sirius. "How are you feeling?"

As James coiled himself around one of his many pillows, Sirius draped his arm over his eyes. "I feel like hell. I am never, ever drinking again."

"Maybe don't drink so much next time," Remus suggested. He nudged Sirius's arm away from his face. "Here, Mr. Potter said this should help."

Sirius pushed himself to sit up with effort and took the mug. It smelled of coffee and hot pepper. He took a sip and his face contorted. "Definitely never drinking again."

Remus chuckled and moved to sit down on the bed. Truth be told, he wasn't in great shape himself. He'd wound up staying up half the night thinking about Sirius's drunken words and what they'd sparked inside of him. Now that the boy was awake, he was thinking about them all over again, and his heart was fluttering like a captured pixie in his ribcage. "Pads…Do you remember anything about last night?" he asked.

Sirius was currently trying to hold his nose and drink from his cup at the same time, but it wasn't making it easier to swallow. "Not really. I remember being at dinner, and then you helping me up here."

"So, you don't remember anything you were saying?" Remus followed up, scanning over his face.

"No," Sirius said, closing his eyes against a particularly strong throb. But they flew open a second later and he looked Remus worriedly. "Why? Did I say something weird?"

Remus shook his head. "No, no. You were just talking about how cool James's room was. How you wouldn't get a hangover…" He trailed off as the one thing he wanted to ask about stuck in the back of his throat. If Sirius had no memory of it, then perhaps it was best to leave well enough alone, lest Remus hear something he didn't like.

Sirius's shoulders relaxed and he barked a laugh, regretting it when his head protested. "Obviously drunken me has no idea what he's talking about." He flopped back into the pillows. "Well, except that James's room is cool. I'm serious about decorating mine when I go home. And I know how serious I am because I'm Sirius." He paused. "Maybe I'm still a little drunk because that was a horrible pun."

Remus laughed lightly. "You should finish the Hangover Helper and then go back to sleep. You'll feel better later." He went to stand up.

"Wait, Moony." Sirius grabbed his shirt sleeve. "Don't go." He cleared his throat, quickly releasing him. "I-I mean…I might need you in case Prongs goes all Devil's Snare on me again." He didn't even have to put effort into looking pathetic enough for Remus to relent immediately.

"If you want me to keep you company, you don't have to make excuses," he teased. "Besides, I think it's only fair that I return the favor after you've been visiting me in the hospital wing all these years."
Sirius smiled a little, settling further into the bed. "If only you were just dealing with a hangover every month."

"I wish," Remus said, grinning back fondly even as his eyes searched again for answers that weren't in plain sight. In all his pondering the night before, he couldn't be sure if Sirius's words were alcohol-induced gibberish or if he really was secretly jealous of Mary. Even more ambiguous was exactly why he was jealous if it was the latter case. Perhaps it was her gift, or perhaps the fact that Remus had had to split his time between Mary and his friends since they'd gotten together. Or, in what would be the most unlikely and miraculous of situations, he could be jealous.

Which had brought him, as it had the in the wee hours of the morning, to the fact that the last of these choices, if it was true, made his stomach tingle and his pulse pound. He could have tried to deny it, play it off as being caused by something else with a weak connection, but there was one damning piece of evidence that had now been lit in a new perspective in his mind.

The Amortentia.

Admittedly, he felt like some part of him knew that his conclusions about smelling Sirius's scent that night were wrong. But his conscious mind had only allowed himself to doubt them in light of his reaction to Sirius's accidental revelation. There was no other way to fit the pieces together.

He was in love with Sirius.

The realization was contradictorily freeing and restraining, as well as guilt-inducing. Obviously he could never tell another soul the truth; he had enough issues already without being a pouf. Not only that, but if word ever got round to Sirius, their entire relationship would be ruined, and he simply couldn't have that. He was also faced with the weight of what to do about Mary. There was no comparing his feelings for the two of them. Mary was a lovely girl and he did like her, but he knew his heart wasn't in it. It wouldn't be fair to let things go on any longer when he knew that they wouldn't progress.

"Moons?" Sirius's voice broke him from his thoughts. He had zoned out without realizing it. "You alright?" He touched the back of Remus's hand where it was on his lap.

Remus looked down at the point of contact. They hadn't had a chance to hold hands in the hospital wing since James and Peter had discovered his lycanthropy. The small touch had always made him feel better when he was the one laid up, even after his worst transformations. He let a tiny smile pass over his lips as he flipped his hand, pressing his palm to Sirius's. "I'm fine," he said, lifting his gaze again.

Sirius's expression was one of surprise. Considering Remus's current relationship status, it didn't feel completely right for the two of them to be holding hands. But his conscience wasn't about to win this out. This might be one of the only excuses he had left to do something like this with the boy he fancied, without suspicion. He finally returned Remus's smile and closed his eyes, hoping to get more sleep.

As Remus kept a silent watch over his friend, he couldn't help feeling that in spite of the fact that he'd never be able to have the kind of relationship he wanted with Sirius that he was still happy. He and his fellow Gryffindor were very close, close enough to do things like hug for long periods of time and hold hands without feeling uncomfortable. One kind of love he held for him might never be returned, but he still had the fathoms-deep brotherly love they'd developed since they'd met, and he'd never trade that for anything. For now, he could exist exactly as he had before, just with a small secret that changed everything.

.:~I~S~S~:.

Needless to say, Remus was not particularly looking forward to the train ride the next day. He knew that Mary would come looking for him once they were loaded into the carriages, and that once she found him, he wasn't going to be able to put off what he was planning to do. The Marauders had barely settled into their compartment when there was a knock on the doorframe. "Happy New Year!" Mary greeted brightly. She moved into the compartment and sat down next to Remus, taking his hand. "Hello, Re," she said, kissing his cheek. "Ah, I see you got my gift." She touched the crescent moon charm where it hung below his star-covered scarf. Remus could already feel the guilt twisting in his stomach, but he knew he couldn't wait.

He squeezed her hand. "Mary…Can we talk?"

The blonde's smile fell, sensing trouble in his demeanor. "Yeah. Sure." Remus stood up, taking Mary with him, and receiving looks of confusion from the other three boys. He hadn't told them what he'd planned to do, and so didn't even meet their gazes as he left, just leading Mary out of the compartment and down the carriage hall to try to find an empty one.

Eventually they found a compartment that wasn't being used, and Remus pulled Mary in. He shut the door and released her hand, turning to face her. Her green eyes were already dimmed as she waited for him to speak. The werewolf took a slow breath. "Mary…" he started. "I'm really sorry…I don't know exactly how to say this-"

Mary smiled sadly. "You don't have to. I think I already know."
Remus felt relief flood him, not having to actually say the words. The guilt, however, when he took in Mary's defeated expression, wasn't any easier to deal with. "I know this sounds silly and cliché, but it's honestly not you. You're a wonderful girl."

"Then what is it?" she asked. Remus bit his lip, running a hand through his hair anxiously. He owed it to Mary to be honest and give her a real reason, but it was hard for him to say this, even if he wasn't telling her all the details. He took another deep inhale.

"I…I'm in love with someone else," he admitted, his cheeks burning. Mary's expression was somber, but resigned. "I'm so sorry, Mary. I just can't ignore these feelings and it isn't fair for me to lead you on."

The girl closed her eyes. "There were times that I got the feeling you weren't as invested as I was," she said softly. "You acted more like a friend that I kissed sometimes than a boyfriend." Remus couldn't help an inward chuckle at the irony of that statement. She let out a shaky sigh, hands wringing together, and he could tell she was trying not to cry. "B-But I never would have guessed that it was because of someone else. You never look at other girls."

Remus paled. "I-I didn't want you to see me looking," he lied, thinking quickly.

Mary nodded, looking down at her shoes. "So…This is it then?"

Remus reached up and unclipped the necklace Mary had sent him. He handed it to her. "Yes. I'm sorry," he repeated once again. She took the necklace and closed her fingers around it. He gave her one last sympathetic look and then left the compartment.

Much as Remus was feeling terrible, and would always feel terrible for hurting Mary, he knew that what he'd done was right for both of them. Mary deserved to be free to find someone who could truly love her, and he couldn't force himself to create feelings that simply weren't there.

Remus returned to his compartment, sitting down next to Sirius. Even though he was at peace with his decision, he still felt melancholy over it. He let out a slow breath, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. The other boys exchanged a glance and then looked back at their friend.

"What happened, Moony?" James asked, with a gentleness even his friends only saw rarely.

"Did you…break up?" Sirius asked, eyes trained on Remus's chest where the necklace had hung earlier that morning. The werewolf nodded.

"Why?" Peter asked. "You seemed like you liked her."

"She just wasn't the right one for me," Remus said.

James quirked his mouth to one side, then reached across the compartment and clapped him on the shoulder. "Sorry, mate. I know this must be rough."

The newly-single boy shrugged. "It's not as bad as it could have been. I mean, we probably won't be able to talk for a while without things being uncomfortable, but this is what's best for both of us." He gave a half-smile as he looked around at the other boys. "Please, don't start treating me like I'm all broken up over this. I'll be fine." The others studied his expression, not sure that he was being completely honest with them, but ready to do as he wished. All of them, including Remus, knew that if he needed to be upset about this later, that they would be there to support him.

Just then there was a knock at the door, and the boys turned to see Anjanette in the hall. She gave them a quick wave before going into the opposite compartment. As she sat down, James snapped his fingers, and they all turned back to see him smirk and waggle his eyebrows. Remus could tell that he was about to say something ridiculous. "Just spit it out."

"That's why you didn't think Mary was the right one! All this time you've still been pining for AJ." Remus, and to his surprise Sirius and Peter, groaned in exasperation.

"Prongs, is there anything I can do to convince you that I'm not interested in her?" Remus asked as he rubbed his forehead, just for clarity.

"Not at all. The evidence is all here, right before my eyes, even if you try to deny it," James said matter-of-factly.

With the knowledge that there was nothing he could say that would make James change his mind, Remus decided to completely ignore him instead. He turned to Sirius. "How's your head feeling today?" he asked.

Sirius grinned, catching on fast that they were snubbing their friend. "It's much better, thanks."

James frowned, looking between them. "Hey, I had a hangover yesterday too."

"That mead must have been really good for you to drink that much," Remus said.

"It really was. I just wish I could thank James for the recommendation," Sirius said wistfully.

James waved his hands frantically. "I'm right here!" Peter was holding back giggles.

Sirius looked up diagonally, feigning holding back tears. "Sometimes I can still hear his voice."

.:~I~S~S~:.

The Marauders piled off the train together, having eventually acknowledged James's presence when he started throwing wadded up pieces of parchment at them, with the threat of books in the near future. The group was walking into the castle together after their carriage ride, when someone grabbed Remus's robes by the sleeve and pulled him out of the crowd. When they were free of the sea of students flowing into the Great Hall, he found himself face to face with Lily, copy of the Daily Prophet under her arm.

"Mary told me what happened," she said. "You were being truthful with her, right? Not just trying to make her feel better."

"Of course," Remus said, surprised that she would think otherwise.

"Are you sure?" Lily stared into his eyes as if she were trying to read his mind, in case he lied to her. "Because I could understand why you might tell her something like that as a cover."

Remus frowned. What was she implying? "A cover for what?"

Lily nibbled at her bottom lip, glancing around as if to see if anyone was listening. "Something that you're afraid to tell her but that you would eventually have to if you were in a long-term relationship."

Remus was almost certain that his stomach had dropped into some sort of oblivion, but he tried to keep his face impassive. Unfortunately, his eyes were almost bugging out of his head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"She wouldn't mind," Lily said. "I know Mary. She's very tolerant."

Obviously his denial was falling on deaf ears, and his stomach twisted uneasily at the thought that Lily had figured out his secret on her own. But if she knew already and hadn't told anyone then he supposed she was trustworthy. That didn't mean he wasn't going to start being more careful about how openly he talked about certain things. "It isn't about that," he said in a hushed tone. "I told her the truth. There's someone else."

Lily's emerald eyes studied him intently, and as Remus stared back at her, he could see for the first time how James could have fallen so easily for her just based on her looks. She must have decided that he was being honest, because after a moment, she sighed and her shoulders drooped. "Whoever it is, I hope they're worth it."

Remus smiled faintly. "They would be, if they felt the same." He saw Lily's eyes soften slightly, but she didn't respond. He then glanced at the paper in her hand, and remembered the conversation he'd overheard at James's. "Lily, do you mind if I borrow that? I'll give it back later."

"I'm finished with it," Lily said, handing it over. Remus thanked her and then turned back towards the doors to the Great Hall, but she stopped him with a, "Hey." He looked back at the red-head and she smiled. "Your secret's safe with me…Moony."

Remus flushed, but smiled and nodded before heading into the Great Hall to find the others. They were sitting towards one end of the Gryffindor table and he took the place next to Sirius.

"What was that about?" James asked suspiciously, and Remus knew he must have seen that he was talking to Lily.

"Before you even think it, no, I was not having a sordid affair with Lily," he said. "She just wanted to ask me about why I broke up with Mary."

"Oh. Thank goodness because I was this close to hexing your balls off," James said pleasantly. Remus rolled his eyes and then opened up the newspaper.

"Where'd you get that?" Sirius asked.

"From Lily. There's something I want to look into." Remus started scanning through the pages, looking for anything that sounded even the least bit similar to what he had heard at dinner the other night. It didn't take long to find what he wanted.

DEATH EATERS STRIKE AGAIN

The scene in a small town near Manchester was devastating as another attack from the followers of the so-called 'Lord' Voldemort took place last night. With ten dead and many more injured, both Muggle and wizard alike, it is becoming obvious that this man and his threats are not to be taken lightly. Once again, the symbol of a skull with a snake slithering through it was left in the sky after the malicious group had completed their task.

With these travesties becoming numerous, the Ministry of Magic is doing all they can to prevent any more deaths. This has proven a difficult task, as those involved have been very careful to keep their identities and plans concealed. For this reason, authorities such as Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, advise caution but not restraint. "These people are dangerous, but not invincible. It would be unwise to look for trouble, yet our everyday lives should not be disrupted. The Death Eaters believe that they can win with fear tactics, and to become panicked or paranoid would give them exactly what they want."

There's no telling when or where the next assault may be, but Muggle-born and half-blood wizards should be especially careful. It appears the goals of the Death Eaters include eradicating all but those of pure blood, and anyone who opposes them is dealt with as they see fit. Based on injuries sustained by the victims of these incidents, it is also likely that there are various Dark creatures in their ranks, including werewolves and vampires.

Remus let the paper go limp in his hands. He'd never heard of something so horrible before. He suddenly felt sick to his stomach.

"Moons?" Sirius said, touching his shoulder gently. "What is it?" Remus just handed the Prophet to him so he could read the article for himself. When he had, he passed it across to James and Peter.

"This is awful," Peter said, all the color gone from his face.

"This is exactly the kind of shit that my family would eat up," Sirius said bitterly. "I wouldn't be surprised if they were involved already."

"Do you think that we're safe here?" the pudgy boy asked.

"I had overheard some people talking about this at the party," Remus said. "They were saying that Hogwarts is the safest place right now." Peter still looked relatively nervous.

"I wouldn't worry too much," James said. "Dumbledore is the most powerful wizard in the world. If he's already getting involved then this isn't going to last." He patted Peter on the back. "But your family can always come stay at my place if things start looking grim."

"Thanks, Prongs," Peter said with a shaky smile.

The platters started to fill up with dinner, but Remus still felt nauseous. He was already disturbed by the fact that there was a group of people trying to kill others that they thought were below them for no reason, but on top of that, werewolves were getting involved. It only solidified for him that werewolves were Dark. That he was Dark. His friends could say whatever they liked, but the world's view of his kind would always be the same.