A/N: Once again!!!! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!!! Laughs!!! Ummmm I just wanted to let you guys now.....about updates!!! I am striving to upload at least one chapter every week....so yea....if I can I will upload more....however I don't want to tire out my beta (Egore)....so I hope you guys understand....now since the prologue was really short I made to sure to write this chapter a bit lengthier....laughs....now enjoy
A Sentimental Captivity
Chapter 1
Chicanery Meets Fate
Must be something they're hiding
Must be reasons that no one will dare to tell
Must be something inside me
But I don't think so anymore
It's hurting again now
And I don't need friends when I have foes like you
It's hurting again now
It's killing me to be here all alone
Go away
It's all the same
There's more for me
----------[A verse from] World Falls Away (Seether)----------
"No matter how much I tried to shake off the overwhelming pain clenched within my body, I found it futile in every sense and way. All I knew was that I couldn't risk the 'others' seeing me like this. I sat there, burying my emotions into a dark void, a melancholy existence. Folding and clenching my hands together, I leaned forward and rested my arms on my thighs. I stared blankly at my feet and fell into a deep slumber of apathy. I felt a small breeze coming through the small crack, oddly picturesquely painted on my window. The incoming sunlight stung my eyes. Dawn had arrived. Shortly afterwards, I heard a light knock and a stifling giggle residing outside of my door. I instantly knew the cause of the day's disturbance.
"Hey K—! It's L—. Are you awake yet? You got a mission!"
With a sigh, I reluctantly stood and grabbed my uniform off the coat rack. As I buttoned up my coat, I reached for my katana, Mugen. I sighed once more when I heard the unwanted visitor at my doorstep.
"Are you still asleep? I'm coming in!!!! Come on K—!!!"
I ardently approached the door and held my breath. Furrowing my brows, an oddly familiar frown 'lit up' my face. Before L— could land another knock on the wooden door, I impatiently opened it and found his fisted hand suspended in the air. I scowled at his stupidity. His brainless activities never failed to amuse me.
What a gadfly.
"What are you so happy about, you stupid rabbit?"
To my dismay, my irritation only seemed to widen his grin. "Hey K—!!!! Good morning! Let's go get breakfast!"
In response, I forced a deeper sneer. "What?! Didn't you just say that I had a mission?!"
Lavi jokingly stuck out his tongue and smirked. "I lied. I wanted to eat together with you!!"
I scoffed at his answer. "Che. What a waste of time." I tried to close the wooden door as fast as I could, but it was prolonged by an obstacle. L— had stuck his foot in between the door and prevented me from closing it. I just wanted time alone, time to mediate, and time to forget the dark pain that was smearing my core existence. I didn't want anyone to enter my cold dark abode. However, L— was persistent. He kept insisting that I should join him for morning breakfast. My patience was running thin. I simply did not want to be disturbed. I wished that people would just opt to leave me alone…"
"YUU~!" shouted the idiotic red head as he grinned and yanked the book away from me.
I let out a sigh of frustration. I couldn't take anymore of his stupid antics. Yet, I simply watched as the pea brain flipped through the book and let out another one of his carefree, lively countenances. At that moment, something inside me cracked. His smile irritated me. "What are you smiling about? You're 10 minutes late you know!"
Lavi ruffled his hair with one of his hands and spoke carelessly. "Sorry Yuu! There was traffic? Yes that's it traffic…"
I scoffed in disbelief. Does he take me for an idiot? "Hm…traffic eh?"
(Lavi nods enthusiastically)
I folded my arms and smirked. What an idiot. Talks like one and lies like one too. "So what's her name?"
Lavi's eyes glistened.
He looked like such a fool, a fool in love.
Love? Who had the time to care about such unnecessary pains? Tch.
He sat in his seat and immediately started to ramble. "Sheena! No I mean…Sheena street was flooded with traffic…"
"Hmph. I see." God what an idiot. This is all easily going just the way I want. I got this in my favor now. "If I remember correctly…don't you live upstairs in this very building?" Heh…Got him.
Lavi became flustered at the unexpected reply. He didn't know what to say. I watched as he struggled to find some other foolish excuse. It amused me. Watching him distressed and shuffling around strangely made me feel content. Lavi couldn't come up with any other rationalizations and finally gave up. He slapped his hands together and held them in mid air while bowing his head in apology. "I'm sorry Yuu!!!!" It was all too easy, especially with him. Once I won, it was no longer entertaining. I just let out another sigh, deeper than the last.
Lavi flipped through the book once more before alerting me with another one of his flashy, annoying calls. "So Yuu~. What do you think of the book so far? It's fun, huh?"
I stared at him blankly and already knew the answer to such a meaningless question. "It was a waste of my time."
Lavi chuckled. "Oh, really? Then how come you were reading it, when I came into the café?"
Damn. He caught me. I didn't know how to respond. By impulse I said something that might have sounded awkward. "I was reading it because there was nothing else to do. Che. …I was waiting for you to get your ass here. You go off and hit on any random ass girl, while I'm waiting here like some fool." Damn it.
There was an unusual silence – the kind of peace I didn't hear for a long time—and it was soon broken by Lavi's laugh. "Aww Yuu~. Jealous are we?"
I was appalled. His mere thoughts, suggesting that I was jealous was absurd and unreasonable. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Lavi smiled, looking as if he already knew what I was going to say. However, without a warning, he quickly changed the topic of our conversation. "But seriously…about the book… I know you like it. I mean who wouldn't?" I carefully inspected his actions. He began flipping through twenty pages or so, stopping at a page I couldn't recognize. After clearing his throat, he began to read aloud an excerpt:
"Sitting in a silent, musty old library, I had the opportunity and the time to recollect my memories.
The old gramps had always told me that I should never give in to my emotions because my occupation will only go well without them. For many years, I have never known what it was like to be human. Experiences that paint a colorful world, a world that evolved around friendship, pain, and love were all alien to me. I took on many aliases, adopting one name after another. These multiple identities were each a part of me and I was a part of them.
I have seen many different sides of war and not one remained pleasant in my memories. Men, dying in a pool of blood, screaming in both agony and pain were common sights. The bloodbaths had a disgusting stench – the stench of blood. The torn up faces and grotesque – looking bodies became photographs of my childhood. The war so gruesome that families being taken away from war, shedding tears for the ones they loved became almost picturesque.
However, when I adopted my 49th alias, L—, I became acquainted with other fellow exorcists, finders and members from the science department. We became instant friends. I did my best to earn their trust and I began to find life easier, comforting almost. However, B—, panda gramps, incessantly warned me. He reminded me of the heartbreaking fact: the fact that created not only my childhood, but who I was. I was not to temper with anything personal, which included my own feelings. Objectivity was a strict ordinance, a law I had to open. Though I have to admit that the people I have become acquainted with were extremely friendly. I liked them a lot. Even more perhaps than I even realized. But I knew that I wasn't allowed to love or cherish anything in this world. If I did, the data panda gramps and I collected and will again collect, will become tainted and inaccurate.
It is my duty to be an unbiased bookman and so, I have to disregard my feelings when recording my observations in history. As the old geezer says, "we are spectators of history, nothing more." Despite everything, all my daily attempts to suppress my emotions were weakening and I could feel all the colors – dark and bright – leaking out of the heart that lied within me.
In all honesty, I felt lonely and… abandoned. Not being able to show emotions of any kind not only hurt me, but it killed me. As the war against the Noahs progressed, I couldn't help but worry about my fellow comrades. I just don't know how B— does it, being able to idly stand by as other exorcists fall to their grave.
I sat there in the library, filling out reports and other miscellaneous paper work. I sighed from fatigue and slouched back into my chair. I folded my arms and scratched my nose. I closed my eyes and tried to picture a world without war, a place where I didn't have to witness all the blood, death, and screams. But I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried, all I saw was black and that was…peace. It was a cold wasteland filled with coffins and dead comrades. I was alone. That was when I remembered that my historical findings about the black Order will be passed secretly to the next generation of bookmen. With that said, all records about my comrades, and friends at the black order will cease to exist within other history records, and can only be remembered through my amateur journal reports. Filled with frustration, I crumpled the current report in my hand. I didn't care that I had to do it over. Sometimes I would come to realize that being a bookman was stressful… but it was the path I chose to walk on and I might as well live by it…"
With a content sigh, Lavi closed the book. He cuddled it in his arms and stated, "Ahh~ now that was a piece of work…what do you think Yuu? I think it was by far the best part yet~"
His last sentence sparked an unusual curiosity within me. "What do you mean "By far the best part yet"?" Did you even finish reading the god damn book?"
Lavi cocked his head, chuckled and stuck out his tongue. "Hahahaha…yeah…I was just eager to show you this book that's all…I wanted you to read it too. I just couldn't wait…hrmm but if you still want you can borrow it if you like…I can wait…."
As Lavi eagerly held out the worn out book, I found myself curious about its eccentric contents. However, I didn't want to appear in the least bit interested, especially in front of that red headed loser. "Che. You've got to be serious! There is no way in hell I would want to read that thing again!"
"Ahhh…come on Yuu~…think about it you can be my reading buddy…how does that sound?"
How does that sound? He's got to be kidding me. "There is no way in HELL….that I'm going to be your reading buddy…you can read the book all by yourself for all I care…"
With a puppy dog expression, the idiot was hoping to change my mind. "Ahhh…Yuu~….you're just too cruel…"
That was the last straw. I couldn't take his antics anymore. "AND STOP CALLING ME BY MY FIRST NAME!" My rage prevented me from sitting still. I couldn't stand being in the same room as him. I suddenly had the urge to step outside and get some fresh air. "That's it…I'm out of here…" I hastily grabbed my coat and ardently approached the door to get out of the suffocating café. However, as I approached the exit, a familiar girl blocked my path.
"Oh hey Kanda…"
It was Lenalee. However, I was exasperated by the morning's annoyance and did not bother to greet her back. I just wanted to get out. I stormed out of the café, hoping that the idiot would be far behind, but as they say wishes don't always come true. In the distance, I heard a faint call.
"Hey…Yuu~"
I tried my best to ignore his plea and all too quickly rushed into my car. Somehow, I managed to close the door and buckle my seat belt. Finally some peace and quiet. However, my thought was short lived as an unwelcomed guest comfortably occupied himself in the passenger's seat. It was the red headed idiot. I was furious. "Get the fuck out of my car…"
The idiot quickly changed the subject once more. "woah…this is a nice car….Yuu"
"Stop calling me that…" He continued to evade my commands.
" Hrmmm…mind if I hitch a ride?" His request commenced an awkward silence.
"Where in the world to? You live here don't you?!" I barked back.
Lavi chuckled in embarrassment, "To Sheena's place…if you don't mind…"
I didn't know how to accept or reject his absurd request. I just kicked his annoying little ass out of my car, managing to keep my car from obtaining any scratches. As soon as I kicked him out of the car, I pressed hard on the gas pedal and drove away as fast as I could. I smirked in triumph as I left the idiot in a trail of dust. Luckily, none of the cops caught me speeding.
On the way home, it started to drizzle. Little droplets of water made small rhythms against my windows and soon, they had enveloped the entire car. I was forced to utilize the window wipers. The ride back home was quiet, the way I like it… the way I will always like. Despite the fact that it was a weekend, not many people were on the freeway. I glanced around my surroundings and saw numerous rectangular green billboards informing me of their closest exits. When I saw the fourth sign, I slowly exited the freeway and arrived at the local street.
Within ten minutes, I arrived at the front of my garage. I opened a small box-like compartment and retrieved my garage key or rather, remote. With a click of a button the garage slowly opened, revealing its inside contents.
I then opened the glove compartment and chucked the garage remote back inside. Without any warnings, I heard a crash. I looked over my shoulder to discover the remote on the floor. I found it quite odd. Wondering if I missed, I leaned over to pick up the remote.
What a pain.
After grabbing the remote, I found the glove compartment already full. I shoved my hand in the compartment and tried to fish out an item that took up most of the space. My hand immediately grabbed onto a rectangular-shaped item. As I withdrew the object from its original location, I recognized its familiar touch, shape, and feeling. It was the damn book.
But how in the world did this book get into my glove compartment? I don't recall placing it there.
Though, the longer I thought, the more confused and frustrated I became. There was no explanation… and surely uncanny superstitions just weren't realistic, common occurrences. There was only one answer to every one of my problems. It was "the idiot".
A/N: Please Leave a Review!! Let me know what you think!!!
