Hey everyone!
I don't think that I have a lot to say at the moment. So I'm just going to get to responding to the reviews!
katiek121 and Raven that flies at night, thanks so much and I'm glad that you're enjoying the story still :)
Starrya47, welcome! Thanks for all the reviews of the various chapters :D I'm sorry for all the suspense with Sirius and Remus getting together, but I really wanted to go for the slow burn XD It is coming, though, I swear!
Kam, Reg is really going to struggle from here on out with trying to figure out what he wants. It's a growing process.
Guest, whoever you might be, I'm glad I could make you laugh XD
Alright guys, enjoy! See you again soon and thank you for all the support and faves and follows. Love ya!
~SXS
FOR WARNINGS AND DISCLAIMER, SEE FIRST CHAPTER AN.
As the first full moon of the school year approached, Remus found himself less and less excited about his now fully-fledged Animagi friends coming along with him for the night. Even though the prospect of not tearing himself apart for once was like an impossible dream come true, it wasn't worth the risk of him tearing them apart instead. They had practiced transforming all summer, but that didn't mean they were ready to take on the task of babysitting a giant, vicious werewolf. He didn't even know if the wolf would accept them as friends. If he were to wake up the next day and find out that anything had happened to them by his hand…
"You're freaking out over nothing," Sirius insisted one evening while he and Remus were waiting for James and Peter to come back from setting up for a prank. They were doing homework in their beds, though Remus was having a lot of trouble concentrating. "We already have a plan and a backup plan. We've can hold our transformations for hours at a time, and I must say, our animal forms are on point. Everything is going to be fine!"
"Just because you say that, doesn't mean that it's true," Remus said, voice tight. "What if I accidentally crush Peter? What if I think that another male canine is a challenge to my authority? What if I think that James is a delicious venison dinner?"
"Don't be ridiculous," Sirius said, trying to push the unnerving thoughts away. "Werewolves only have a taste for human meat."
"Oh, right. I forgot that vicious Dark creatures presented with easy prey will refuse anything that isn't a part of their strict diet," Remus deadpanned. "And what happens if you can't hold your forms for some reason?"
"That's when whoever is still an animal will distract you so the other can escape," Sirius said matter-of-factly. Remus's expression hadn't changed with these reassurances, however, lips drawn downward, eyes alight with anxiety. The proximity of the moon wasn't helping him stay calm. Seeing this, the pureblood moved onto Remus's bed and put a hand on his shoulder. "Trust in us, Moony. It's all going to be worth it when you wake up the next morning and you don't feel like you're dying."
But the tawny-haired boy was still terrified. Yes, this could be the end of much of his suffering during the full moon, but there was no telling if it would work as they planned. He looked up at Sirius, amber irises shining. "I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you." Though he was referring to all three of his fellow Marauders, he was mostly speaking about Sirius.
The other boy just smiled. "You know why I'm not worried? Because that wolf is you." He placed his hand over Remus's chest and could feel his heart beating (a bit more rapidly than usual) under his palm. "The wolf has instincts but it also has your heart, and your mind, somewhere deep down inside. You won't let it hurt us."
Remus could feel his lip trembling and he backed away from Sirius. "No. No, I can't let you do this."
Sirius's smile dropped. "Moony-"
"No!"
"You know we're just going to come anyway."
"No, you're not." Remus's eyes suddenly glinted gold, expression bordering on feral. "I don't want you there. Swear to me that you won't come."
A stare-down ensued, Remus looking as if he might just attack if Sirius refused him. The dark-haired boy pursed his lips. He knew why the other was worried but the three of them had gone through so much to make this happen. They had to take the risk, or they would never know if it would work and save him years of future pain. "You know I can't do that."
Remus's hands shook, and his eyes welled with tears, but he knew that there was nothing he could say to change his, or James or Peter's, mind. At this point only an Unbreakable Vow would stop them from going through with their plans. Accepting this didn't change how he felt, to his dismay.
"Oh, Moons…" Sirius couldn't stand the miserable look on Remus's face, and he pulled him in for a hug, not being shy since they were alone. "We'll be fine. I believe in you." Remus's forehead pressed to Sirius's shoulder, letting himself be comforted in words and touch. Sirius's unwavering faith in him still managed to touch his heart, even when he was so nervous. All at once he realized that he might not get a chance to experience this feeling again if things went wrong.
"Pads," he said, pushing him back by the shoulders. "I…" He scanned over Sirius's face, words bubbling up to his lips. He had the sudden urge to confess, but he quickly squelched it. It would ruin what might be their last few days together. "I hope you're right."
.:~I~S~S~:.
The evening of the full moon started out just as routinely as any other. The boys escorted Remus down to the hospital wing and passed him off to Madam Pomfrey, then did their best to squeeze under the cloak together so they could leave. But from that point on they broke their pattern, crouching around the corner from the door where they knew the Healer and their suffering friend would soon emerge from. They watched silently, waiting for the pair to exit the hospital wing so they could follow them down the grounds to the Whomping Willow.
It didn't take long for that to happen. Remus's condition was worse than usual, due to all his stressing over the safety of his fellow Marauders, so Madam Pomfrey was quicker to bring him to the safety of the Shack. The trio of invisible Gryffindors behind them were careful to keep their steps soundless yet swift.
Once they were near the slap-happy tree, they stopped to watch as Madam Pomfrey selected a long stick from the ground and reached out with it to poke a particular knot. The entire tree froze, as if it had been hit with a stunning spell, and the Healer and Remus slipped into the tunnel underneath it. The other three boys remained where they were, waiting for Madam Pomfrey to reemerge. She climbed back out nearly half an hour later and returned to the castle.
Sirius pointed at Peter, who was visibly shaking, but nodded. He shrank down to his rat form and scurried out from under the cloak. The tree was moving again by now, and so the rat had to dodge flying branches that scraped impossibly low, before reaching the knot and pressing it with a paw. Again, the tree went still. Peter didn't bother to return to his human self, as he would have to remain this way for the rest of the night.
Despite what he'd said to Remus the other day, Sirius was admittedly scared. After all, he was about to do something that certainly no other wizard had ever attempted before, so there was no telling what might happen. He'd never seen a live werewolf before either. But his determination to help Remus, and the trust he had in his friend was enough to cancel that out for the time being. This was all first-time jitters. After this, they would know exactly what to expect. He looked to James, who looked to be in about the same place as he was, but they both shared firm nods.
The boys transformed and the shaggy black dog pushed himself out from under the cloak, taking it with his mouth and tugging it off his stag companion. He held onto it as they made their way into the tunnel behind Wormtail, traveling underground from the safety of Hogwarts into the Shrieking Shack.
The tunnel was long, damp, and dark, though Padfoot's superior night vision helped with that. The three Animagi walked for what seemed like hours, until the tunnel started to slope up, leading them to a door. They pushed it open and slipped inside.
The entire building seemed to sway with every step, as though it had been rocked to its very core by a powerful force. Even then, the construction was haphazard and inexpensive. Sirius wondered, in the back of Padfoot's mind, who would think this place could even hold up to a rampaging werewolf. There was also a stale scent of blood that would have made his human form sick.
Suddenly, a piercing scream sliced through the air, the likes of which Sirius hadn't heard since first year. Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail dashed up the creaking stairs to a room that could barely be identified as a bedroom, it was so torn up. There were splashes on the wall of what could only be blood, though it all looked gray in Padfoot's eyes, a four-poster was still standing only by the grace of Merlin, and everywhere that the wolf could reach was covered in claw marks. But the most horrifying sight was that of Remus, bare, on his hands and knees in the center of the room. His tawny-haired head was tossed back as the agonizing cries ripped from his throat. Padfoot whined, closing his eyes and pressing his ears down, trying and failing to block the sound.
For Remus, this was once again routine: the pain coming over him suddenly, aching, sharp, and intense, seeping from his core out to each individual finger and toe. His bones cracking and realigning, visible shifts under his skin. Each of his pores opening to sprout fur, as if someone was turning him inside out by each of these tiny hairs. His skin stretching over the new form of his body, and his voice breaking over the screams as they change to howls.
The process was excruciating to watch for all three Animagi. Knowing there was nothing that could be done to ease this part of the full moon only made it worse. It wasn't fair. How could the change in shape be so like their own transformations and yet be filled with so much pain? Thankfully, it didn't last but a few minutes longer.
When the howling finally died down and the Marauders dared to let themselves have a better look, they found a huge, beastly creature where Remus had been moments before. It was hard to see at first how it was any different from an oversized ordinary wolf, until it swung its head around and they caught sight of its eyes. They shone bright and alert against the dim moonlight, light irises surrounding pupils that were round rather than slatted.
Had Remus been in his human mind, he would have been mortified by the fact that his friends had just witnessed the entirety of his transformation. But with the wolf fully in charge, his thoughts came in short, instinct-driven phrases instead. Hungry. Must eat. Want blood. Need flesh. Smell human. The wolf whined and looked around, sniffing at the floor under him where Remus's human form was minutes before.
The trio was still in the doorway to the bedroom and Padfoot and Prongs looked to Wormtail. The rat's eyes were so wide that they resembled black beads sewn on a stuffed animal. But Padfoot just nudged the tiniest animal with his nose, pushing Wormtail in the wolf's direction. This was part of their plan. Wormtail would offer the olive branch. If the wolf reacted well, then Prongs and Padfoot would join. If not, then his being the smallest and fastest would work to his escape advantage.
If Peter had needed to be brave when approaching the Whomping Willow, now he needed to surgically remove his common sense to allow himself to do this. He was about to approach a monstrous and very likely ravenous werewolf that may or may not accept his company other than as a light snack. The one and only reason that he could force himself into this was by thinking about how Remus always looked in the hospital wing after a full moon and knowing that this was going to change that, at least somewhat. Wormtail, though trembling, scampered up to the wolf with a tiny squeak.
The wolf's head whipped around to face him, and Wormtail had to dig his claws into the floor to prevent himself from running away. The larger creature bared its teeth, which had grown sharp and dangerous, and it growled as it looked down upon the small intruder into its space. But then it sniffed. And sniffed, and sniffed again, putting its nose in close to Wormtail's fur, ruffling it. The rat did his absolute best to be completely motionless as the wolf did its analysis.
After a moment, the wolf sat up and cocked its head to the side. It made a canine sort of sound, somewhere between a bark and whine.
Friend?
Wormtail blinked, surprised to have heard something that he understood. It was odd sounding, like someone speaking with a foreign accent, but it was clear enough. The rat nodded, and squeaked in reply. Friend. Yes, I'm your friend.
The wolf then did something that none of the boys would have ever expected to see.
It opened its mouth, letting its tongue loll out on the side, and wagged its tail.
Peter could have fainted, he was so relieved, but instead he made the rat's tail flick happily. Prongs and Padfoot, who had been watching with baited breath, were shocked at how easily the wolf had accepted Wormtail, and took that as their cue to introduce themselves.
Prongs went first, stepping forward with gentle clicks of his hooves, causing the wolf to turn its attention to him. It didn't growl, though it did look wary, but the stag was sure to keep his distance to show that he was not a threat. Curious, the wolf moved closer and did much the same scenting as it had with Wormtail. Eventually, it concluded, You friend too.
Yes, Prongs agreed, his tail flipping up and down once; the signal for Padfoot.
The dog dropped the cloak that it was still holding in its mouth and trotted forward even more slowly. He couldn't tell yet if what Remus had said about the alpha mentality of the wolf was true, so he was the most cautious of all so as not to present himself as a challenge. It was obvious as he approached, however, that the wolf could smell on him the similarities in species and sex. Padfoot stopped after only a few steps, and looked directly into the wolf's eyes.
The wolf made a low sound, not quite a growl, but on its way to being so. It prowled forward, eyes glinting in the moonlight filtering through the window. A jolt of fear shot through Padfoot, but he stayed where he was, knowing that the wolf would likely be able to smell it if he let it take hold. The wolf sniffed at him, circling him once and then standing in front of him with a calculated stare. Then in crouched back on its haunches and pounced.
Padfoot didn't have a chance to react quickly enough, and found himself pinned on his back underneath the larger canine. Prongs and Wormtail were about to jump in and try to save him, until they realized that the wolf wasn't growling or trying to hurt their friend. In fact, it was staring down at the dark-furred dog with what almost looked like a smile on its jaws. It's eyes had gone from suspicious to soft, and it licked a long stripe up the side of Padfoot's face, making his fur stick up. Friend! Friend! Me know you! Me like you!
Sirius knew that if he were in human form, he'd be flushing, but as Padfoot his tail merely thumped against the floor. He licked the wolf's nose in return, and it released him from its hold. As Padfoot righted himself, the wolf bounded around him, Prongs, and Wormtail, letting out barks of, Friends! Me like friends! Friend dog, deer, rat.
Padfoot, the dog said, nodding his head to indicate he was talking about himself. Prongs. He went to the stag and pawed his leg. Wormtail. He did the same to the rat.
The wolf cocked its head and repeated. Padfoot. Prongs. Wormtail. Then it looked at Padfoot. Me?
Moony, Padfoot told him, and then moved over to lick the wolf on the nose again. Sirius was rather enjoying the fact that he could give these bits of affection without having to worry about any awkwardness. Even though he'd been more liberal lately with making excuses to touch Remus and generally be close, there was always the fear that one day the other boy might notice that there was an underlying reason behind it all. But here, whatever he did could be written off as natural animal interaction, and Remus wouldn't even remember the next day to question it.
Moony, the wolf said back to him, and wagged his tail. Padfoot, Prongs, Wormtail, help Moony hunt human. Human here. He went to the spot where Remus had been before the transformation. Me hungry. Want human.
They had known that it was likely they would have to find a way to distract the wolf from his human hunting desires, and so they already had a plan to counter this. No hunt. Play game, Padfoot said. He nudged Moony's shoulder and guided him back to the others. Hide and seek. Wormtail, Padfoot hide. Prongs, Moony seek.
Play? Moony didn't seem to understand the word, and Sirius felt a pang of sympathy. Ignoring the fact that, were the Marauders not in their Animagus forms, the wolf would think they were dinner, Moony was acting like a giant dog. He was so eager for companionship, likely because he'd spent years transforming in isolation. It was sad to think that he'd gone for so long making himself miserable every full moon just because he was alone. Padfoot butted his head against Moony's and then looked to Wormtail.
Watch. Padfoot no look. Wormtail hide. The rat's ears pricked and he sat back on his hind legs, waiting for Padfoot to close his eyes before he scurried away and hid under the partially destroyed wardrobe.
Padfoot seek, Prongs said, and Padfoot opened his eyes, looking around for any sign of their smallest friend. Then he put his nose to the floor and started sniffing, looking for his trail. He caught Wormtail's scent and followed it to the wardrobe, pawing the door open and burying his nose deep in until it touched a lump of fur. Padfoot staggered back a little and sneezed, while Wormtail revealed himself.
Moony had been watching intently the entire time, and when Wormtail had reappeared, he wagged his tail. Moony do! he barked excitedly, bouncing on his front paws and making the whole building shake.
Moony do, Padfoot agreed. Moony close eyes, wait. The wolf did as he said, and closed his eyes, sitting down to wait while he and Wormtail chose hiding places. Prongs stayed back, but kept his eyes open. Even though he was technically supposed to be seeking as well, the more important job was keeping an eye on the werewolf in case he started to gravitate back to hunting.
Padfoot and Wormtail decided to go downstairs, where the Shack was surprisingly in much better shape. Apparently, the wolf had never had the desire to travel beyond the bedroom, likely because that was where Remus's human scent was strongest, and so the furniture and structure of the lower level was more intact. Padfoot slid behind the tattered curtains of a floor-to-ceiling window, deciding to make the first round easier for Moony. Ramping up the challenge later would keep the wolf occupied longer.
After a few minutes, he heard the thumping of Moony's large paws coming down the stairs, followed by the clicking of Prongs's hooves as he more clumsily navigated. Climbing and descending a staircase as a stag was something he'd have to practice later. Once on the first floor, they started to roam around, looking and sniffing for their friends, though Prongs let Moony do most of the work.
Moony scanned the room, eyes swinging back and forth, taking in every tiny sound and miniscule movement that might be his hiding friends. He took a slow inhale, searching through the bouquet of scents for Padfoot, and locking on quickly. He dropped his body lower, stalking towards the curtains where he could see the outline of the dog hiding behind the fabric. He paused as he came closer, silent. Then he tackled Padfoot out from behind the curtains and pinned him much like he had before.
Moony find! he barked in triumph, licking all over Padfoot's face.
Padfoot panted with his tongue lolling out of his mouth, the closest thing he could manage to a laugh in this form. Moony find. Moony win.
Moony like 'play'. Moony like Padfoot. The wolf's entire backside was shaking with the force of his wagging tail, and Sirius could feel his heart swell happily to hear this. Padfoot, in a gesture that almost looked human, brought his front paws up to rest on Moony's shoulders.
Padfoot like Moony, he told him, licking his nose. Sirius hadn't thought that this could be beneficial for himself too, but having the opportunity to more openly express his feelings for Remus without any consequences felt good. It was as close as he was ever going to get to the real thing. Come. We find Wormtail.
.:~I~S~S~:.
