FOR WARNINGS AND DISCLAIMER, SEE FIRST CHAPTER AN.
This would perhaps be one of the most difficult things that Remus ever had to do. No transformation he'd ever been through, not even attending his parents' funeral, would be as painful as having to empty his childhood home. He'd managed to delay the inevitable, but now that it was summer, he had no choice but to face it head on.
The train ride from Hogsmeade to King's Cross felt far too short this year, and was filled with his friends' attempts to distract him from the task awaiting him. He appreciated their efforts, but all he really wanted was to curl up against Sirius, go to sleep, and hope that his dreams would provide an escape. Unfortunately, he couldn't seek out any comfort from his boyfriend with James and Peter there in the compartment with them, so he settled for sitting as close as possible to him within reasonable boundaries.
When the train arrived, the boys gathered their things and headed towards the Floos. Remus went first, grabbing a handful of powder and throwing it into the fire. When the flames turned green, he stepped in, spoke his address and disappeared.
Spiraling through the network, Remus stumbled out of his fireplace at home, but had little time to steady himself before his friends were barreling into him. It took excellent balance and coordination not to topple into a pile on the floor, but the boys eventually were still, allowing them to finally survey the damage.
The cozy living room that housed family photos and well-worn furniture was now little more than fabric scraps and shards of glass. The windows and front door had been blasted out, the rug was charred, and the taint of Dark magic still lingered. It was rather hard to believe that this was the same place that once was the hub of their shared holidays and many memories. Remus felt his throat close and he had to fight not to let out a soft sob in front of his friends. Sirius, who was empathetic and beginning not to give a rat's arse that they weren't alone, took Remus's hand and squeezed. This went unnoticed as the other two were still distracted by the sight.
"Merlin, Moony," James finally said, breaking the silence, but not really knowing what else he could say.
"It doesn't look too bad," Peter tried, but even he sounded unconvinced. "Maybe the upstairs is better. That's where most of your things are anyway, right?"
Remus didn't respond, so Sirius released his hand and brought it up to touch his shoulder. "Moony," he said softly, and so gently that the werewolf nearly went limp. "Do you want to look upstairs?" He still didn't speak, but he did respond with a nod. Sirius gave him a sad smile and then put an arm around him to guide him to the stairs, James and Peter following close.
The stairs were littered with papers, but otherwise there wasn't too much damage. In fact, the entire upstairs almost looked as if it hadn't been attacked at all. The only signs that there had been a struggle were the marks on the walls where curses had missed their intended targets. Remus led the boys into his bedroom.
The room was completely unaffected. Remus's books were just as he'd left them on the shelf, his Muggle clothes were in the closet, and his bed was in one piece. For a blissful moment, he could pretend that nothing had happened, that his parents were just in the other room sleeping and would wake to greet him at any moment. But there was no benefit to buying into those kinds of fantasies, and so he pushed the thoughts away.
"There isn't too much to pack here," he said quietly. "Pads and I can work on this if you two want to find some boxes for us."
James nodded. "We'll check the basement. C'mon, Pete." He took the pudgy boy back out of the room and they went down to the bottom floor.
With their newly found privacy, Sirius took the opportunity to pull Remus against him for a long, slow hug. The tawny-haired boy was quick to return it, clinging to his boyfriend as if he were his only means of physical support.
"I can't do this, Pads," he murmured into his shoulder, voice thick with tears. "I miss them so much."
"I do too," Sirius soothed, holding tight to him. "But we're all here with you. Maybe this will be good for you. Give you some closure." He kissed the side of Remus's head.
Sirius was probably right about that, but that didn't make it any easier. Knowing that it had to be done and that it might help him continue on the path of his grief didn't make it less likely for him to break completely. For now, he let himself disappear in Sirius's arms, the shorter boy rocking them until they heard the returning footsteps of their companions. As they pulled apart, Sirius dropped a quick kiss onto Remus's lips, with the promise that they could find time later to be alone.
James and Peter both had large boxes in their hands, with smaller boxes layered inside. It was only when they set them down that Remus realized that he and Sirius hadn't started preparing anything to pack, but if their friends noticed, they didn't say a word. The werewolf took a shaky breath and then moved towards the closet to start pulling out his clothes. Behind his back, Sirius exchanged worried glances with James and Peter, then went to work on the shelves.
The group worked in silence for a few minutes, Remus removing clothes from their hangers and folding them, the other three stacking books into smaller boxes. Then Peter's voice broke the silence. "I remember this," he said. The others turned to face him.
"Hey, the Sneakoscope," James said. "The first thing we nicked from Filch's office." He smiled fondly as he took it from Peter to examine.
"Did you ever figure out how it works?" Sirius asked as Remus approached.
"I did a little research. It's supposed to light up and make noise when someone is being untrustworthy. Though Dad wasn't really sure how accurate it is." As he said this, the top started to light up and beep in James's hands, lasting for a few seconds before going blank again. "And therein lies the proof."
"Oh well. It's still an important piece of Marauder memorabilia," the messy-haired boy said, and packed it in with the books. He closed up the box, but the Sneakoscope started to sound off again. "A loud and annoying piece of memorabilia. Has it ever done this before?"
"None of you are planning on pulling pranks are you?" Remus asked, but the other three shook their heads. He frowned, an uneasy feeling washing over him. He crept towards the door and inhaled, catching their own scents from their trip up the stairs and three unfamiliar ones farther away. "Someone's here," he breathed.
James, Sirius, and Peter quickly gathered around him and they all were silent, listening. At first, there was nothing, then there were careful footsteps crunching along the debris. A gravelly voice followed. "He's already here. Upstairs." There was a pause. "He's not alone." Remus's pulse quickened. Someone was looking for him?
"W-What should we do?" Peter stammered.
"We can't stay up here," James said. "They'll catch us. We'll have to fight our way out of here." Peter went pale.
"We can't just charge out and attack," Remus pointed out. "If these people are Death Eaters then they're not afraid to use Dark magic and Unforgivables. We need some kind of distraction." The footsteps were now at the bottom of the stairs, slowly starting to ascend.
"Uh…Okay. Peter, you turn into Wormtail and run past them. That'll probably buy us a few seconds to stun them. Then we'll run like hell," James said.
"Me?" Peter's pupils had shrunk to tiny black dots. The steps were getting louder.
"You're the smallest one. You can run right between their feet," Sirius said. He grabbed the boy's shoulders, squeezing so that he would meet his eyes. "Peter, you can do this." The smaller boy was breathing fast and still looked absolutely terrified, but he swallowed and nodded. He closed his eyes and started to shrink out from under Sirius's hands, transforming into Wormtail. The rat only hesitated a moment before scurrying out of the room.
The intruders were still on the stairs as far as Remus could tell. He felt Sirius grab his wrist, and they waited in tense silence for a sign that the enemy had spotted their friend. Then, "Eugh, a rat!" from a female voice. Their cue.
The three boys jumped out, coming face to face with the other trio and blasting Stunning Spells. One of the men ducked away, the other was hit by James and froze in place. The woman, who Sirius realized belatedly was Bellatrix, also managed to dodge, and the teens took advantage of the opening between them to escape.
They tumbled down the stairs, and out the front door, Bellatrix and the man hot on their heels. Outside, the group split, Remus veering off to one side and James and Sirius going the other way. Their pursuers had no problem doing the same.
Remus could tell by the weight of the steps behind him that Bellatrix had chosen to chase her cousin, leaving him with the unidentified man. He ran frantically up the street, trying to swerve erratically to make it harder for the Death Eater to aim at him. But he couldn't run forever; the man would just continue to follow until he'd used up all his energy. The only way he was going to lose him was to tap into his wolf strength, and so he closed his eyes and concentrated. He could feel his legs moving more quickly, powered by the primal source deep inside his very being. Looking over his shoulder, he had expected the distance to grow between himself and the man, but he found that he was still tailing him with ease. How could this be possible? He was moving at inhuman speeds.
The extra strength was dwindling fast, leaving Remus feeling more drained than when he'd begun. As he slowed, he searched around himself, desperate to find a place that he might hide or someone who could help him, but the neighborhood must have cleared out after the first attack. Then he heard, "Stupefy!" and he was frozen to his spot.
Remus's heart was pounding and his eyes flitted around, still hoping to see something that might save him, but coming to the realization that he was trapped and as good as dead. He immediately thought of Sirius, his throat closing up with the threat of tears and chest clenching painfully at the thought of never seeing his boyfriend again. Sirius would be so devastated when he found out what happened. And yet, while the Death Eater had all the opportunity in the world to shoot him with an Avada Kedavra, he was still alive.
The man laughed, and the sound was rough and bark-like. His steps were predatory as he came closer to Remus, panting breaths reminding him of Padfoot. Pieces started to fit together in his head; these behaviors, the fact that he could keep up with him during the chase-
The very distinct smell that floated to Remus on the wind, sending him back ten years to a dark night in his backyard.
"So, you're my little cub," Fenrir Greyback growled into Remus's ear. The tawny-haired teen wanted to shrink away and turn around and punch him at the same time. "I've been waitin' for you to show." He circled around to stand in front of Remus, allowing him to finally come face to face with the person who'd given him his perpetual curse.
He looked homeless, with ragged, dirty clothes and matted grey hair. His facial hair was just as bad, unkempt and growing out of control, and his teeth were sharp and yellow with lack of care. The man was inches from him now, and the familiar smells of his wolf form were masked by the stench of Dark magic and the metallic sting of blood. He was also thoroughly unwashed, and Remus wished to Merlin that he could open his mouth just enough to breathe through it, but it was stuck shut. The worst thing about him was his skin, which was scar-free. For anyone else, this would have been his one redeeming trait, but for Remus, it was like Greyback was laughing in his face.
Greyback smirked at him. "I've got an offer for ya."
Remus had no choice but to listen. "You ain't the first one I turned. I've been at it for years before you and years since. Usually I steal the kids I bite, raise 'em to be like me. Tryin' to build an army, all under my command. But your daddy, he stopped me from takin' you, and you grew up pretending to be somethin' you're not." This hit a soft spot. "There's some perks, though, growin' up the way you did. It means you can trick people. Make 'em trust you then get 'em when their guard's down. You and me, together we could bite all the kiddies in England.
"Join the Death Eaters. The Dark Lord lets me have whoever I want and when he takes over, we'll be one step closer to a world fit for wolves." Remus didn't know which was worse; the idea of being part of the Death Eaters or the idea that Greyback wanted to change innocent children into werewolves, and savage ones at that. Not that it would matter how he felt, because he was still stunned and no one seemed to be coming to help him. Greyback could pick him up and carry him away if he wanted, forcing him to do his will.
"I guess I'll take that as a yes," the beastly man said. He smiled, showing all his fangs, and reached out to grab him. Remus's breath was coming out like sobs, knowing that these would be some of his final few moments. For if he refused Greyback (or worse, Voldemort) and they didn't try the Imperius Curse, then he would surely be killed. Greyback's fingers were closing around his waist, surely preparing to lift him.
Just then there was a shout of, "Petrificus Totalus!" accompanied by a flash of light. Greyback's arms snapped to his sides, legs coming together, body straight and stiff as a board. He fell onto his back in the middle of the street and stayed there. Remus was trying to stretch his eyes as far to the side as he could to see who had helped him, but he needn't have for Peter suddenly appeared in front of him seconds later.
"Are you okay, Moony?" he asked, and Remus of course did not answer. "Oh, right. Finite Incantatum." The werewolf's body became loose, as if he'd been defrosted, and he collapsed under the suddenly heavy weight of gravity.
"P-Peter…" he choked out. "How did you find me?"
Peter dropped down next to Remus, and was suddenly shaking all over, likely from the loss of adrenaline. "I ran this way as Wormtail after the distraction and I saw you guys pass by, so I followed you and just caught up."
Remus didn't think he'd ever been so glad for Peter Pettigrew in his entire life. Which he felt bad for in a way, and would have to rectify. "You saved my life. Thank you." He smiled and hugged him, and the other boy gave him a tight grip in return.
"What happened to James and Sirius?" he asked as they pulled apart.
Remus's heart suddenly dropped into his stomach. In all his worry over his fate with Greyback, he'd forgotten that James and Sirius had been chased by Bellatrix. "Oh Merlin. We have to go find them." He was immediately up on his feet, forgetting all about the weakness in his legs, and he sprinted off in the direction he'd come from. Peter decided to turn into Wormtail once more as it was easier to keep up with Remus on four, albeit tiny, legs.
Remus's heart was pounding hard with the effort to keep himself going, on top of the trepidation that they would wind up finding their friends dead at the hand of the deranged woman. It didn't matter that Sirius was her family (and James as well, distantly). In fact, it might have made things worse, because she had more personal feelings to act on. He just hoped that somehow, by some miracle, they were able to get away. If they hadn't…he couldn't even let himself imagine that.
It wasn't until they were nearly back at his house that Remus saw two figures in the distance. Did he dare to hope? He slowed down to a stop, and in the corner of his eye he saw Peter shooting back up to his full height. He waited, the far off pair still approaching. And then, there was a shout.
"MOONY!"
Remus's breath hitched in his throat, the voice flooding his body with relief. He charged forward again, eyes locked onto the other teen who was becoming more and more clear. It took all of fifteen seconds for them to close the distance, tackling each other in a tight embrace.
"Moony, thank Merlin," Sirius breathed into his shoulder, clutching at the back of his shirt.
Remus couldn't hold back his tears anymore and he buried his face into Sirius's neck, breathing in his familiar scent like it was precious air. "I thought I'd never see you again," he choked out.
"I know. But it's okay now. I've got you." Sirius pulled back just enough so that he could take Remus's face in both hands, their foreheads touching. He stared up into his amber eyes. "Are you okay? Did that bastard hurt you?"
Remus shook his head. "I'm fine. What about you?"
Sirius gave him a little smile. "Come on, Moony, don't you have any faith in me? My crazy old cousin could never bring me down." He and Remus both shared a watery giggle, completely focused on each other. That is, until there was a very loud and distinct sound of someone clearing his throat. The couple stiffened, remembering only then that they were not alone. Their heads turned simultaneously, still pressed together, towards James and Peter who were looking at them uncomfortably. It took a few silent seconds before the boys broke apart, faces Gryffindor scarlet.
Neither knew quite what to say, so they didn't say anything at all. Though they knew that questioning was unavoidable; James and Peter had seen too much in that one not-so-just-friends exchange. They might have been able to play it off as the after-effects of the incident, but the look on bespectacled boy's face was one they recognized from his suspicion about Remus's lycanthropy. Nothing but the truth would satisfy their messy-haired friend.
"Let's go back inside," Remus said, thinking it best not to talk about this out in the open. They also had to check and see if the third Death Eater was still frozen upstairs, and possibly Floo for help. James didn't disagree, and he and Peter took the lead to go back into the house. Seeing no reason to hold back anymore, Sirius took his boyfriend's hand, lacing their fingers together. He wasn't planning on letting go anytime soon. Considering what they'd been through, and what might happen in the next few minutes, Remus needed the soothing touch, the reassurance that they were together and safe.
Once inside, James pulled his wand out again and went up the stairs. He came back almost immediately. "He's gone. I guess Bellatrix came back for him," he said.
"She chased us for a while but then Apparated away without attacking," Sirius explained, mostly to Remus.
Said teen's grip on Sirius's hand tightened. "She was leading you away so Greyback could have me to himself," he said bitterly, and the others were shocked to learn the other man's identity. "He's a monster. He bites children and teaches them to give in to their wolf side, so they grow up vicious and hating wizards." He started to shake, though whether it was from anger or weakness, he wasn't sure. "He wanted me to help him. He…" The cause was revealed as Remus felt his knees buckling and he started to drop, but Sirius's arm was there to catch him.
"Moony? What's wrong?" he asked worriedly, James and Peter also moving in closer.
"N-Nothing," Remus answered, pushing himself up but leaning heavily into Sirius. "Just tired. Used a lot of wolf strength."
"You should sit," James said, and Sirius was quick to execute this, guiding Remus to the partially exploded couch. The tawny-haired boy remained pressed into his boyfriend's side the entire time, closing his eyes once he was seated.
"How did you get away from Greyback?" Sirius asked, scanning over him in concern.
Remus smiled gratefully, opening his eyes again and looking at Peter. "Wormtail saved me," he said. "He caught up to us and petrified Greyback so we could escape."
The pudgy boy flushed lightly. "It wasn't a big deal. I was lucky to catch up with you at all with how fast you were running."
"Give yourself more credit, Pete," James said, clapping him on the shoulder. "You were a real hero today." This only made Peter turn even redder, but he was smiling proudly.
There was a silent pause then, even though all four boys knew exactly what would be the next words spoken; either some sort of explanation or question about what had happened outside and why Remus and Sirius were still holding hands. Remus let out a shaky sigh, thinking it best to just get it over with, but before he could speak, James beat him to it.
"It's not really a huge surprise," he said, and Sirius and Remus's eyes snapped to him. "I mean, it is, because it's…well, it's weird. But there were signs. I just never put the pieces together that way."
Sirius frowned, giving James a sideways look. "You…You are talking about Remus and I…"
"Yeah," James affirmed.
"There were never any signs. What kind of signs?" Sirius asked.
James scrunched his face up in recollection. "You've always been a little…"
"I have not!" Sirius said, scandalized.
"Well, you never flirt!"
"That doesn't automatically imply-"
"Alright, I guess not. But you're also so…" James flapped his hands around in front of himself.
"Okay, I'll give you that. But so is Moony!"
"That's the point."
"I never realized until now how annoying it is when they do that," Peter said to Remus, who just shook his head in sympathy. Though on the inside, he was actually thrilled. The fact that James and Sirius were even having this sort of conversation was an excellent sign that their secret relationship wouldn't cost them their friends after all.
"Fine, fine," Sirius said. "But I still don't think that's enough to come to that conclusion."
"That's why I didn't," James said. "It's not something you usually expect."
Remus decided then that that was about enough, especially because Peter was looking more confused by the second. He loved the boy, and was very thankful for what he'd done before, but sometimes he could be thicker than expected. "Alright lads. We aren't all on the same pureblood, maniacal prankster wavelength as you two, remember? I think we owe Peter a proper explanation."
The dark-haired boys paused in their volley of fragments. James looked at Sirius pointedly and swept his hand out in front of himself. The other's cheeks warmed to a light pink and he turned his body towards their blonde friend. "Wormy…" he started slowly. "Remus and I are…a couple." He lifted the hand that was still holding Remus's for emphasis.
Peter blinked. "Oh. Oh…" James and Sirius's half silent conversation and other tidbits in his memory all started to form a bigger picture in his mind. He cleared his throat a little, suddenly fidgety. "H-How long has that been going on?"
"Since the whole Severus thing," Remus said. He too was blushing and neither he nor his boyfriend could really make solid eye contact with the others now that the words were actually hanging in the air.
"You've been hiding this for that long?" James balked. "When did you plan on telling us?"
"We weren't sure," Sirius said. "We tried to feel you out with that thing about Lestrange and Rosier, but your reaction kind of put us off from telling you. So…we just let it go for the time being."
James shook his head. "After all we've been through, you were really afraid of what we'd think?"
"It's hard to forget how you were in first year sometimes," Remus pointed out quietly. "And this is something that's a big issue in the magical and non-magical world, so you never know."
"Incidentally, can you be more clear on exactly what you think?" Sirius asked.
James's expression was unreadable, and he looked between the two of them. "Look, mates…Obviously I don't understand why you like, you know, blokes. And Remus, I don't know how you could possibly put up with the mutt-" Sirius gave him an unappreciative deadpan. "-but I know how close you two are. I guess, if it was going to be anyone for either of you, this makes sense."
Peter nodded in agreement. "You seem to be the same as before. Just a little more…touchy. Not that that's bad. It's…It's okay. Just don't, well, snog or anything. I mean, in front of me, because it would be awkward anyway-"
"Peter, relax," Remus said, smiling fondly. "We understand what you mean." He could feel his heart swelling happily, despite the events of the day. To know that they had the approval of their fellow Marauders was a huge weight off his shoulders, and it meant everything to him. "Thank you. So much."
James shrugged, grinning. "That's what friends are for, right? But I must agree with Pete, don't start getting all physical in front of us."
Sirius barked a laugh, and he threw his arm around Remus's shoulders. "Like I would ever give you the honor of watching Moony and I letting our love blossom."
James squeezed his eyes shut, hands up as if he could push away the images in his head. "Please, spare me the details." Sirius just smirked, making a mental note to bring up his and Remus's 'activities' if he needed to get on James's nerves. "Now that we've cleared this up, I think we should call my parents. Maybe they can come and stay here with us until we've finished up."
As James moved to the fireplace, Remus settled back into Sirius's hold and closed his eyes once more. He was still a torrent of emotions, but overall, he felt free. He'd been holding onto his secret feelings for Sirius for nearly two years, and then they'd had to hide their relationship for the last few months. Now he felt as light and guiltless as he had when they'd discovered that he was a werewolf, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he could let go of his paranoia and just be who he was with the ones he cared about most.
.:~I~S~S~:.
Mr. and Mrs. Potter had been more than happy to come and stay, the former also reporting the attack to the Ministry. They set up protective charms around the house to prevent anyone else uninvited from entering, and Mrs. Potter cooked them a big, hearty dinner once she'd gone on a quick shopping trip. They decided it was best to save the packing until the next day, when they were rested and refreshed.
The Marauders gathered in Remus's room to sleep, with Mr. and Mrs. Potter taking Remus's parents' room. James and Peter took to the floor, fully unzipping the sleeping bag to spread it out and taking extra pillows and blankets from the closet, while Remus and Sirius squeezed into bed together (something they rarely could do in their dorm). They talked lightly, about pranks and plans for the summer and Lily Evans (during which James did most of the talking), until the conversation tapered with the floor-bound boys dozing off. Remus was surprised he could even keep his eyes open when his body was so weary, but somehow, he managed. He nudged his head under Sirius's chin, a feat that involved scrunching himself up so that his legs didn't hang over the end of the bed, and closed his eyes.
"You alright, Remy?" Sirius asked, voice soft and right above his ear. He let his hand trail along Remus's upper arm absently. The tawny-haired boy just hummed. There was a pause. "You know, if I had known that was Greyback, I would have turned into Padfoot and ripped his bloody throat out."
This made Remus more alert, and he lifted his head to look into Sirius's eyes. In the darkness, he couldn't make out what exactly they were expressing, though he could guess. "It's better that you didn't know. Even though he's a werewolf, I doubt he has any fond feelings for dogs."
"It would have been worth the risk," Sirius said fiercely.
"Not to me," Remus said, reaching up to brush away Sirius's fringe from his forehead. The pureblood smiled faintly and grabbed his wrist, turning his head to kiss his palm.
"I'll get him someday," he said into the skin. It sounded casual, as if it were just something he had to get around to eventually, but Remus knew how serious he was. He also know it was pointless to try to convince him otherwise, so he'd have to find a different way to prevent him from completing that task.
Remus let his head lower back to Sirius's shoulder, but left his arm up as Sirius was now giving it attention, kissing along random lines that he knew without being able to see were his scars. He felt a bitter jealousy bubble in his stomach, which he hadn't been able to dwell on earlier. "Greyback's skin was perfect," he spat in a near-whisper.
Sirius stopped his kisses, though his mouth didn't move away. "Your skin is perfect," he said, and then nuzzled where he'd just spoken with his nose.
"Only to you," Remus murmured, pressing his body closer.
Now Sirius pulled his face away fully and took Remus's gently by the chin. "Anyone who knew why you had scars would think that your skin is just fine."
"But hardly anyone knows," he said heatedly. "So I just look like a freak. Meanwhile, Greyback can walk around looking just like everyone else." He took a slow breath, in and out. "I know I shouldn't feel like this because of what the scars mean. But why should I be punished for doing the right thing?"
Sirius let go of Remus's chin to reach up and trace one of the silvery lines on his cheek. "I know, it sucks. I go through the same thing with my family all the time," he said. "But this is why we became Animagi. You may not be able to get rid of the ones you already have, but you won't get any new ones." He smiled, trying to make Remus mirror the expression. "Besides, I like them. They make you look tough."
Remus snorted. "Yeah, right. As if anyone would be afraid of the bookish chocolate-eater." He let a tiny smile pass over his face. He didn't think he could ever feel completely alright with his scars, but it was a comfort knowing they didn't bother Sirius and that he wouldn't gain any more. "Thanks, Siri." He leaned up and pecked his lips.
Sirius beamed. "Anything for you, Moonpie." They let their heads fall to the pillow, side by side, gazing at each other until their eyelids became heavy and they fell asleep.
