I don't own twilight, Fort Casey, or anything else that is blatantly, obviously NOT MINE

I stole the characters of Twilight to do my bidding….Mmmmm….twilight men…..Sadly though, S. Meyers won't let me keep them. Because I own nothing….le sigh. I don't own GI Joe's either…or anything BCBG…how sad…

So readers/reviewers/people of Awesomeness-I have reviews. I have OVER 90 reviews…in six chapters….I'm gobsmacked….I'm so happy I almost smiled…May I repeat that I love each and everyone of you, in a non-creepy-psycho way. More in a, I-love-my-fellow-human-vampires-werewolves-other-mythical-creatures-for-reviewing-way. So, bring on the Skittles! Oh, I mean paintballs!

May Edward taste the fan-freakin'-tastic rainbow….muahahahah.

Jasper's POV

Rosalie and I had reached Fort Casey just in time to find Emmett and Bella laying on the floor of the center guard tower. Both were grinning. This is not what I expected.

"You two ok?" I asked, staring at them both. "Shouldn't you be…angry?" I asked Bella.

"Oh, Jasper. Bella can never stay mad at us," Emmett said, pulling himself off the ground. Rosalie wrapped her arms around his waist. Bella sat up, looking at me with an odd glint in her eyes. There was excitement and another emotion coming off of her. It was almost as bad as feeling evil come off of Emmett. Was that…no. She wouldn't…

"What's the plan?" Rosalie asked, leaning against Emmett.

"Well, three guard towers…three defenders…enough paintballs to span from sea to shining sea…" Emmett smiled wickedly. I looked at the towers 400 yards on either side of the center. I could see stacks of paintball cases lining the walls. I couldn't help but grin.

This would be epic.

Alice's POV

Just as quickly as the vision came, it was gone.

"Edward, stop at the next GI Joe's." I said. We were in Oak Harbor, barreling down highway 20. Edward made a sharp right and slid in the parking lot before I had finished my request.

Edward just looked at me.

I looked at him.

His face twisted into an evil grin.

"Your one very deranged pixie," he said as he opened his door.

"It's a gift." I replied as we each grabbed a trolley and headed inside.

Emmett's POV

The sun had set and we were cast into darkness. The moon was high, casting a blue light on the fort. At least, that's what humans saw.

Each of us in our respected towers, armed to the hilt with paintballs. In the distance we could hear campers laughing around their fires; I could hear a forest ranger snoring peacefully. Damn he's loud.

Fort Casey was officially closed for the night.

To humans that is.

But to mythical creatures, that was a different story all together.

"Any idea when they'll get here?" Rosalie asked from her tower to the right.

"No," I answered back to the love of my existence.

"Bad Emmett, no Jonas Brothers," Bella mumbled in her sleep. She was curled up on the floor beside me, wrapped in the sleep bag I had bought earlier today.

"What the-" I heard Rose mutter before being cut off by Jasper's chuckles.

"What did you do to her Em?" Jasper asked from the left.

"Do I want to know?" Rose asked incredulously.

"It was a joke." I muttered. I knew then and there that Rose and Jasper would be ragging me about the Jonas Brothers for a very long time.

"No more Cosmogirl….damn rainbow obsessed vampires…" Bella turned over in her sleep. "Edward…I don't want to taste the rainbow…"

Rose gave me a hard stare from her tower before her body was racked with laughs.

Jasper was holding his sides, trying desperately not to collapse from laughter.

I would never hear the end of this.

Rosalie's POV

Bella was mumbling in her sleep. It was, quite frankly, more amusing that I thought it would be. Apparently she and my husband had some explaining to do.

Why would she want to taste the rainbow?

And when did Emmett start liking those Disney star freaks?

Would he start to have a crush on Demi Lovato?

He better not have a crush on that midget Demi Lovato!

Oh, forget it. Emmett would never stray. He has me.

So where did Jonas Brothers and Cosmogirl come from?

Who cares! I know what Emmett's getting for Christmas!

I was laughing so hard I almost missed it. The gentle purr of a familiar Volvo in the distance. They were maybe two miles out.

"They're here." I hissed as I sank into a defensive crouch.

Perfect.

Edward's POV

We were within two miles of the fort. I could hear my siblings thoughts. Apparently Rose was wondering why Emmett would like Demi Lovato.

Who's Demi Lovato?

Jasper on the other hand found my Bella's nightly musing quite humorous.

Something about tasting the rainbow and Jonas Brothers.

I parked the car underneath the canopy of two giant evergreens and Alice and I quietly got out. We each grabbed a duffle bag.

"Are you ready?" I whispered.

Yes. She thought. She had a look of determination on her face. The sooner we get Bella-. Alice was swept into a vision involving Jasper and the left hand tower. We both growled low. Jasper will PAY for his defiance! She shrieked in her, or I should say, our minds.

Her right hand swiftly stroked the top of her cheekbones before throwing me a small tin can. I looked at her incredulously. What? She thought. I'm just playing the part. You should too. She stared at me.

"Alice, there's no time-"

Don't Alice me. We are going into enemy territory and you're trying to Alice me! NO! she hissed.

Alice was getting into this a little too much.

I opened the jar and quickly smudged the black grease under each eye. She smiled her deranged pixie smile and ran full tilt towards Fort Casey. She was also singing a very annoying version of Barbie Girl in Korean in her head.

My heart dropped.

Alice was out for vengeance.

Alice was also blocking me.

What was she plotting?!

I took off after my highly volatile sister.

This would be interesting.

Jasper's POV

I heard Edward cursing low in the distance. In Emmett's tower I felt a wave of glee and anticipation roll out. After a tense moment of silence we saw them.

Two figures broke from the tree line and slowed to a more human pace as they headed down the gravel road.

In front was a short, dark haired figure. Ah, Alice. How she was going to kill me once she discovered I was here. I could see the look on her face as she stared at my tower.

Damn, she knows.

But we came in from the ocean.

We were downwind.

There's no way she could get our scents.

Unless….

"Rose!" I muttered, knowing she could hear me. "Your little distraction is out of the picture!"

I heard a low grumble from the far tower and a string of profanities emit from Rosalie's lips.

"Yes Jasper. Seth more than willingly disengaged himself from our family dispute." Edward's cool voice echoed over the manicured lawns and up to the towers.

"Edward. Alice." Emmett acknowledged them from the center tower.

"Give her back, Emmett." Edward replied. His hands were clutching an open duffle bag. The strap was slung across his chest, with the bag resting in the front.

"Sorry brother," Emmett said gleefully. "I can't do that. Me and Bella are having tons of fun."

"Jasper! If you want ANY leniency with me, you'll return Bella to me! NOW!" Alice yelled at me. "I'm only asking once." She too had a duffle bag slung across her small frame. Ah Alice…what was under their eyes?...was that Black grease?

"Trying to be mini-Rambo?" Rosalie hollered out.

Alice cast death glares at Rosalie's tower.

"Rose! You went to the dark side! How can I trust you again!" Alice wailed. I couldn't help but chuckle. "We were supposed to be a united front against the boys!"

"Emmett!" Edward hollered, too quiet for humans, more than loud enough for us. "Final chance. Give her back."

Emmett stood still for a moment, mulling over his options. I tensed.

Emmett was ready for a fight.

Let the games begin.

Emmett's POV

I stood stalk still as Edward gave his final warning. This was going to be EPIC.

"Well?" Edward asked.

I answered with three lime green paintballs flying in succession at Edward's face. He dodged the first two, but the third found its mark.

"NEVER!" I boomed from my position in the center tower.

The War was on!

Edward stood dumbfounded for half a second before launching a torrent of yellow paintballs at my tower. I ducked low, the balls sailing through the watchtower window, before splattering on the wall behind me.

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" Rosalie yelled, flinging red paintballs at Alice and Edward below. Jasper began a steady torrent of blue paintballs from his post in the third tower.

Alice and Edward split, Alice feigning left, Edward right, continuing their assault of yellow and pink paintballs at all three towers.

Alice danced between the incoming splatters as she made her way towards Jasper's tower. I could see blue splatters erupting along the lawn as Jasper launched his paintballs at his wife. I could hear Jasper mutter to himself.

"Never should have taught her how to dodge and weave. Damn newborns…"

I laughed as I aimed a green paintball at Alice right when Jasper launched a blue one at her. She ducked from my assault, but was hit square in the chest by Jasper. I heard an audible gasp as she stopped for a fraction of a second and stared down at her black top.

"JASPER!" she yelled.

Oh was he in for it.

I turned my attention to Edward as he made his way to the stairs leading up to Rosalie's tower. She ducked an incoming streak of yellow as Edward approached the base. I launched a steady stream of paintballs at Edward as he skirted around the base towards the stairs access.

"Emmett! Where is he!" Rosalie hissed.

"Approaching the stairs!" I hollered. That's when I heard a low growl come from the base of Rosalie's stairs. She launched a torrent of paintballs at Edward as he raced up the stairs. I saw my precious Rose gather up as many paintballs as she could carry and run backwards across the widow's walk to the upper level of the fort.

"ALICE! NO!"

Alice's POV

With Emmett's help, Jasper ruined my new BCBG top. My new, black, form fitting, never before worn top. Not only would he pay, he'd be paying for the next decade.

I skirted around the paintballs, not really caring if they hit me now that my beautiful top was ruined. I continued my steady launch up into the tower. I could see Jasper's blond hair tinged pink in the dim moonlight. I rounded the base of the tower and stood at the bottom of the stairs.

Jasper stared down at me, four paintballs in his hand, a fool's grin plastered to his face. He looked like Emmett up to no good.

My dear Jasper was in his element.

This was a war zone.

He was on the defense.

Poor Jasper…

He never stood a chance.

He of all people should have known.

"Jasper."

"Alice, love." He said, still grinning.

I mustered up all the love and lust I could and sent it up the stairs. He fought it. Oh, he tried. But he faltered. This gave me the chance I needed. I raced up the stairs at lightening speed.

I disarmed him before he could process the change of emotions. I was no longer thinking loving thoughts of my husband.

He knew it.

"Jasper, the only thing that beats an empath military man is his psychic wife."

I stood back, blocking the stairs. There was no widow's walk leading to this tower. I reached into my bag and let loose my entire arsenal of paintballs.

"ALICE! NO!" he wailed.

Emmett's POV

Jasper never stood a chance.

Edward was stalking Rosalie across the widow's walk. They both were pelting the other with paintballs left and right. Rosalie was a yellow statue. Edward was a tribute to the color red. He looked like he tried to take down an Elephant and lost.

We had to run.

Rose threw me a glance before jumping over the edge of the widow's walk, Edward following after.

I took my advantage, slung both bags of paintballs over my yellow and pink hair, and threw Bella, sleeping bag and all, over my shoulder. I raced across my own tower's widow's walk and into the main construct of the fort.

Hopefully I could make it to the jeep.

Bella's POV

I woke up running.

Or, to be more accurate, I was slung over someone's shoulder, watching the watchtower shrink behind me.

"Hey!" I said groggily.

"Hey Bella!" I heard Emmett's low voice full of excitement.

"What's going on?" I faltered as he ran along a metal grate. Below me I could see dark shadows of concrete below.

"The deranged pixie took out the empath confederate, and lover boy is chasing my Rose south."

My brain was still fogged with sleep. It took me a moment to process this. We were heading down metal stairs and turning North across the well kept lawns. I saw Jasper leaping out a small window in the far northern tower. Alice followed. Behind them I saw a streak of red in the moonlight, followed by a streak of yellow. They were coming at us fast.

"Why do they look like a Crayola factory exploded in their faces?" I murmured, still half asleep. Emmett laughed. I couldn't shake the dream I had. I was trapped in a skittles factory with my vampire family. Emmett was trying to get me to eat the disgusting candies, and Edward was just standing there, grinning. Saying soothing things, like, "its ok Bella. This is a human experience I'm not letting you miss."

My arms rested on an open duffle bag, full of paintballs. This was just like our last war game. I held onto the bag as Emmett ran North.

Behind us the red streak was catching up, fast.

I thought it looked like Jasper.

I reached into the bag, just as the red streaked caught up.

I launched the paintballs at him.

Edward's POV

Rosalie jumped the railing and headed south, away from the towers. I gave chase. She was covered head to toe in yellow paint. I looked like a newborn on his first hunt.

'Oh Emmett…' Rosalie's thoughts screamed in my head. A very disturbing image made me slow.

"Fighting dirty I see," I yelled at her.

That's when I heard it.

Alice.

'Emmett's taking off with Bella. Their heading north towards the lighthouse….JASPER don't you dare jump out that- ARGH!

I spun around and sprinted north. I could see a pink and yellow haired Emmett racing off with a blue sleeping bag across his shoulder.

My Bella….

Behind me I heard Rosalie turn and give chase.

"No you don't!" I heard her yell.

I quickly neared Emmett; I could see Bella's beautiful face. She looked half asleep. Emmett must have woken her.

That's when I heard her angelic voice.

"Taste the fan-freakin-tastic RAINBOW!"

Then I was hit in the face with a lime green paintball.

Ok, I just had to stop there. I was laughing too hard. A drowsy Bella attacking Edward with a lime green paintball. Is that a little OOC? I want to know. After all, she thought it was Jasper, and she was half asleep and she's known for vivid dreams. And she's been with Emmett all day and half the night.

So, review PLEASE!! How was the first part of the epic paintball battle? Good? Bad? Hermaphrodite? (Not to offend any hermaphrodites mind you)

If you review you get to see the very disturbing, very humiliating video of the Cullen of your choice dancing to Dance Commander by Electric Six. If you don't review, you'll get a private dance from theVile Mike Newton or Lauren. I hate them both…..ugh…now I'm going to have nightmares. So please tell me what you think. PREASE!! Enjoy children. And remember, taste the fan-freakin'-tastic rainbow.

Oh, and the skittles thing was inspired by someone's fanfic, sorry I can't remember who's, which involved Skittles…I hate skittles.