Chapter six
A/N... To hear the song referenced in an upcoming scene, I recommend listening to Continuo by Mauro Cangemi as you read. I'll leave a pair of parentheses and an asterisk where you should begin.
He prepared himself at the door before walking in. He straightened his uniform and held his hands properly behind his back. The swoosh of the door brought him into the room just as he'd pictured it outside. They turned to him all at once with stunned expressions and uncertainty in what to say, keeping the secret that they'd seen him asleep and all the tattooed burns that laid over his skin. Picard broke the tension by pulling him in with a hand on his back.
"Glad to see I was correct in assigning you to bed Mr. Crusher." he smiled as Wesley sat down.
"Yes sir." he thanked with little heart in his polite smile. Apparently, his few words made them feel comfortable enough to unload their feelings upon him. His thoughts spoke louder.
Days earlier he was being used as a tool, he had no worth and now he was back to being human.
They explained how he was not supposed to be left there and the transporting problems and blah blah blah. As soon as the meeting was over, he left to attend to his duties. The weight upon his shoulders was clear as day. His hair fell shaggy and his walk had no enthusiasm. Perhaps he knew how he looked and perhaps he didn't, but for the next few days he only spoke if spoken to and only ate when someone asked him if he had. Deanna awaited the appointment Picard had encouraged, but Wesley never showed. Her, Riker, Data and the captain gathered to do something about it.
They stood in front of his door with determination in getting something out of him. Data obeyed the order to override his door, though technically immoral. They entered without permission and without much care. There he was, like he had been for many hours. He sat still. The light outside his window was an incredibly bright blue that covered his body. It made him glow as he stared at it like there was nothing for him to do in the entire universe. Aware but without regard for their presence. She looked back at the others and back at him with uncertainty in her touch.
"Wesley.." she paused.
"I'm going to open my mind to you. Don't be afraid to open yours."
He did not respond as he remained completely unmoving, as if he'd heard not a single sound, a statue amongst a blur of people. She laid her warm palm upon his cheek and opened her mind to his. They watched as her eyes searched her mind and saw nothing in front of her. Her closed eyes spilled tears that were not her own as she crossed through his mind. She took in the first breath since she'd begun like she had just reached the surface after almost having drowned.
She had told them before hand to only watch, but they wondered if they should keep their promise. To their surprise, Wesleys emotionless face was wet with tears of his own, though his expression unchanged. Suddenly, she stopped crying and her manner softened. She mirrored his demeanor, showing how she was following his journey of emotions, searching him with questions she could only answer with empathic experience. Her eyes opened and she took her hand away. Wesley looked down at nothing, having been forced to heed his surroundings and senses.
They broken their stare as their furrowed brows pressed for words.
"To put it honestly sir.. He has been torn apart from the inside out. He feels grief for someone. I did not sense it before, but he was in love with someone. The love remains but it has nowhere to go and its torturing him. But its not just that.. no." she hesitated as she rethought what she'd felt. "He grieves his naivity.. his innocence.. optimism.. his past self. I'm surprised, his mind was so open to me. I feel he may have no will left, no strength at all, for anything. And what scares me the most is I sensed no motivation to fight it. He may never heal captain. I can honestly say I don't know what to do."
They all looked to Wesley, hoping for a reaction to their words about him. His face was soundlessly buried in his hands when muffled words escaped their cracks.
"Please leave."
...
Tonight, a nightmare has awoken him and he has no urge to go back to sleep. He roughed up his face trying to steady himself.. The dream would not leave his mind for it was a memory and he could not tell himself it wasn't real. The train that took them to work each day was short and nice, but this time he got too comfortable and fell asleep. He was woken up with a severe beating, and it hadn't left his mind since. He rolled off the bed onto his wearied feet. A suddenly appetizing thought entered his mind and he had no cause to ignore it as he walked down towards ten forward. A perfect piano sat untouched just by the observational windows. It infuriated him for some odd reason. Someone thought it a nice touch but not nice enough to actually play. He sat into the seat naturally, brushing the delicate keys with his rough fingers, wondering if he could still play.
"Computer, who is in ten forward." asked Data when he noticed the life sign.
"Wesley Crusher is in ten forward."
He cocked his head in confusion, as he always did at any humans sporadic behavior. He alerted Picard, and soon all four of them were once again following their desire to help the boy who couldn't care less about them at the moment. They walked through the open door undetected as he sat facing the view. They saw him squint with a few fingers to his forehead when they heard a faint word from him that said something like. "Computer, lights off."
He once again laid his fingers on the keys hesitantly. (*)
The song played like moonlight that broke through desolate waters in the blackest of night. The grief-stricken melody was breathtakingly lovely yet gut wrenching. Picard put a hand to his chest that felt a type of flood that hadn't ran in years. They looked to eachother in understanding as they turned back around in respect. They left knowing that they just had to wait and watch from now on.
