One Step Closer – Indefensible Acts, Part 3
The Toll Of Loss
One
The sigh Adam released as the outline of his family home appeared in the distance was a mixture of gratefulness and terror. He slowed his horse for a moment, and then spurred it back to a gallop, as he prepared to face whatever he'd find up ahead.
The fates had been generous in that an outbound express train had left San Francisco at 10 PM last night, and he'd been on it. During the few hours between receiving his father's telegram and his departure, he and Ruth had worked out a plan for the next few days. She'd sent the telegrams he'd written, and made sure that arrangements at the hospital were in place for her to make decisions regarding Melinda's care in his absence.
Even now, he wondered at how he had so easily put Melinda's life in Ruth's hands. With so much unknown about the situation at the Ponderosa, he'd had no other option. Still he couldn't have signed off if he hadn't believed that Melinda would support his decision.
While Ruth had done the legwork, he'd remained at Melinda's side. He'd explained what was going on even though she was unresponsive. There had been times when he'd been sick and in a similar state, and he recalled "experiencing" his family's presence rather than hearing their words. It broke his heart that Melinda would probably sense his absence. "One emergency at a time," he mumbled to himself as a wave of guilt and anxiety hit with enough force to make him grab the pommel.
He restored his presence of mind by going over all that had gone smoothly since receiving the news. The journey by train had lasted seven hours, about normal for the express traveling at night. Before he'd left Frisco, he'd sent telegrams to Reno and Goat Springs, promising a goodly bonus for them to have horses waiting at 5-mile intervals along the road to Virginia City. It was about 20 miles from Reno to the cutoff for the Ponderosa, and another five miles to the house. A good horse could reach and maintain a rapid pace, but even the best horse had a limit to the distance it could run full-out carrying a rider.
Fortunately, he'd been able to convey his desperation, and there'd been one change of animal between Reno and the next station, and he was on his second and final mount since leaving Goat Springs. None of the horses had been the quality animals found on the Ponderosa, but they'd given their all to him as he'd made his way through the darkness.
There had been two moments of respite along this trek. The first was receiving a telegram Ruth had sent to Reno. The message had been simple: Resting comfortably. Awake briefly. No questions.
The second blessing had come in the form of the gregarious Evangeline at the Goat Springs station. She'd been waiting for him as he'd pulled up to change horses, and hadn't ceased offering encouragement and good thoughts throughout the process. Once he'd gotten adjusted in the saddle, she'd handed up a cloth bag containing fresh buttered bread with jam, a small canteen of coffee, and another of water, to "fortify" him for the challenges to come. She'd continued her promises of prayers for a happy outcome even as she'd extracted two more items from her robe. He'd taken a quick look at them while offering his thanks and nestling them into the pockets of his canvas duster. One was a detailed replica of an Overland stagecoach her husband had carved. The other item was a small doll with a hand-sewn, stuffed body, and a porcelain head. The face was painted with large brown eyes, an angelic smile, and glowing cheeks. The hair was tied into thick braids held with pink ribbons just as Lizzy's had been on the day she'd shared the stage with the older woman. He remembered that Evangeline was known for her dolls, and she had created something that even from his brief glance, bore a striking resemblance to its future owner.
The appreciative smile that had softened his scowl turned to a grimace as he readjusted his position in the saddle. One thing had become clear on this ride; he'd aged since he'd last spent hours on horseback. He was active at his job and on the estate, but his shoulders, hips, and vertebrae were protesting the jarring they were taking, and every inch of skin in contact with the saddle leather felt seared.
Just two weeks ago his heart had swelled with anticipation when he'd watched his children's faces as they'd gotten their first look at the Ponderosa. As this journey came to its conclusion, he wondered if this blessed place of his youth had laid claim to his little ones.
The yard provided a few clues as he pulled in and looked around. Most of the pasture and corral horses were missing, indicating the crews were out. The chuck wagon was backed up to the kitchen door as Hop Sing did when readying food to take to the men.
He had to tamp down his disappointment at not finding his family there, readying for a normal day. His knees buckled slightly from fatigue when both feet hit the ground as he dismounted, and his unease was evidenced by the trembling in his hands as he held onto the edge of his saddle while waiting for the stiffness in his legs to ease. Once his lower joints were supporting him, he did a few deep knees-bends and headed toward the back door.
Hop Sing was exiting the kitchen just as Adam approached, and the near collision left both men grabbing at the toppling stack of boxes the small man was carrying. After getting everything stowed safely in the wagon, Hop Sing could finally issue his uncomfortable welcome. "So sad thing, Mista Adam. Sorry you return to such news!" He looked back at the empty yard. "Mista Ben tell me of bad thing with Missus Cartwright when he bring Jamie home last night. She is all right?"
Adam closed his eyes briefly as he remembered that coming home to help find his children was only half of his worry. "She's recovering in the hospital."
Hop Sing nodded and patted Adam's hand. "She be fine; children be fine. You see."
"Is everyone out looking for AJ and Lizzy?" Adam asked as they entered the house.
"I go there now with food. Jamie upstairs resting. Family and many ranch hands by lake."
"Why is Jamie resting?" Adam sent his friend a perplexed squint.
"Young man shot in arm during…" Hop Sing struggled to find the words to explain what had happened. He finally settled for, "foolishment." Adam's slack-jawed stare made the cook aware that he had no idea what had happened. "Your father bring Jamie home last night after doctor say boy rest 'til morning. He also say you coming, and I show you letter he write if I see you." He didn't wait for Adam to reply before walking into the living area and pointing at Ben's desk. "That tell you more." The small man pointed back towards the kitchen. "Hot coffee and warm food on stove. You eat, read letter; I go now."
As much as he needed to read what his father had written, he also needed a moment to gather his thoughts. Once Hop Sing was gone, he filled a mug with coffee and retrieved a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet in the dining room, adding enough to his cup to chase away the chill that was constricting his chest and making it hard to breathe.
After a few sips of the laced coffee began to soothe the tension, he made his way to the green leather chair; picked up the pages, and leaned forward onto the desk to read them. Neither his father's opening warning that he would hold nothing back nor in the initial story about the broken plans with Abigail, prepared him for the horror that began to unfold on the second page. He'd forced himself to rest on the train, and while he'd dozed, his father's words from the telegram had swirled at the edge of his sleep. He'd convinced himself that his children had simply wandered off from the others they'd been with. He'd kept the hope of an easy recovery, tethered to him on the ride. But what he was reading; he couldn't have imagined this in his worst nightmares.
By the time he reached the part about his son and daughter being abandoned in the boat and worms being dumped on Lizzy's head, his hands were shaking so hard, he had to lay the sheets of paper flat on the desk to continue. His rage was so consuming that he didn't hear the plop of his tears as they hit the desk and splashed onto the paper until the words on the lower portion of the page began to dissolve. He pulled his shirt cuff over his hand and used the fabric as a blotter to keep the writing from disappearing.
With the last sentence of the long note burning in his soul, he allowed his rage to billow. He stood abruptly, catching his heel on the castor of the chair and tripping as he tried to take a step. Before he could form a reasoned thought, he gripped the arms of the heavy chair; lifted it to shoulder height and tossed it toward the middle of the room as though it was a twig. His anger eased for a moment with the physical release, but then an image of Lizzy crying in her torment, fueled it to a boil again. He grabbed the edge of his father's desk. This substantial piece of furniture always required two people to move it, but its size was no match for Adam's mental state. He'd raised the back legs several inches when the lamp on the desktop slid along the slippery surface and crashed to the floor. A quick reverse of his handhold allowed him to thrust the desk forward. He released a primal yell as the desk yielded its hold on gravity and flipped over, joining the shattered fragments of green glass on the plank floor.
His breath was ragged and the tears washed down his face as he pushed his fists into his eyes to stop the images of his daughter screaming, and his son trying to untie his ropes fast enough to help her. The agony was compounded by the remembrance of not getting to Melinda fast enough to prevent what had happened at the hotel. He was overwhelmed with his own impotency to control either situation. The world was full of insanity and he'd face so much of it in his life. Life in Boston had gotten off to a rocky start, but had been uneventful for the last years. He'd come to think that his children might remain unaware of the ugliness of an individual's cruelty exacted for its sake alone. He moaned as he thought about this place among the pines that had been his solace when life had been the hardest, and he wondered when it had turned into a monster. Was the Ponderosa taking its revenge on him for leaving? He'd left for a good reasons, and he'd felt at ease with his decision. But in returning, had this land laid claim to him again, and would it not be satisfied until it sent his children, his wife, and finally him to that white picket-fenced plot near the lake?
The questions, doubts, and pure misery were grinding at him, making him nauseated and dizzy. He knew he had to regain control if he was to do anything useful. A few deep breaths began to slow his heart rate and calm his racing mind. A final deep breath seemed to restore his equilibrium, and he shook his head in observing the desk resting on its side with its legs sticking out like a calf awaiting a brand. A caustic smile replaced the tortured grimace. As bad as it looked, the desk would stay as it was until he had help to reset it. Sunlight refracting from the glass on the floor brought him back to action. He knelt to check what was left of the lamp, becoming concerned about it leeching oil into the wooden floor and creating a combustible situation. His fear eased when he saw that although the base, shade, and chimney had broken into a thousand pieces, the oil reservoir had held together. He picked that section up gently, trying not to disturb the visible cracks, and carried it out the front door, placing it off to the side of the house where the oil would be absorbed into the sandy loam.
He reentered the house through the kitchen, grabbing a broom and dustpan along the way. Glass bits were everywhere, and he'd started sweeping them into a pile when he noticed movement at the top of the stairs. "Come on down, Jamie," he said with a gentle laugh. "I'm done being destructive." The boy seemed frozen to the spot, and when he looked directly up at the teen, he saw that Jamie was holding a well-stuffed satchel. His reasoning was still clouded by pain, but it didn't take great powers of deduction to figure out what was going on.
Jamie finally spoke. "I didn't know you'd made it back until I heard…"
"Me tossing furniture around?" Adam supplied.
A quick grin returned even more quickly to a serious scowl. "I heard the door and thought you'd left again."
"So you figured it was a good time for you to escape." The humor had left Adam's voice. "That bag you're holding… Are you going somewhere?"
The young man pulled his shoulders back as he adopted a defiant stance and facial expression. "They're my clothes…but only the ones I came with. I'm heading east. I hear New England's pretty nice this time of year, and my grandfather will be pleased that I've decided to come live with him."
Adam placed the broom on the floor, and went to lean against the lower banister. "You've been with my father and brothers for two years now. You must have learned that Cartwrights don't run away when things get tough." He pulled in a whistling breath and blew it out slowly. "And I know your grandfather, Jamie. He runs a fair-sized shipyard. It could use updating, yet I haven't approached him because I don't want him to think I'm asking for special consideration. I know others who have worked with him, and report that it's like running full-on into a brick wall. He runs an honest, profitable business, but he's firmly set in his way; insists that he alone knows what's best, and has a high code of ethics—at least as he expects of others. I don't see him welcoming you with open arms simply because you found yourself in the middle of a mess out here. I'm betting he'd show you the door and tell you to come back when you wanted to be there, not because you want a place to hide."
The boy's bravado broke as his shoulders slumped. "I can't stay here either. Everyone blames me for what happened. I'm betting that right now you want to toss me like you did that chair."
Adam laughed. "No wonder you looked so scared!" He motioned for Jamie to join him. "Could you help me lift the desk? Then we'll talk."
Two
Ruth held a glass of broth to Melinda's lips. "Take a few sips of this," she encouraged. "The doctor wants you to have liquids when you're awake."
Melinda took a tentative swallow and then shook her head. "That's all I can handle. Could I have water instead?" The groggy woman's eyes closed briefly and then fluttered open again. "Did you already tell me how badly I was shot?"
"A few times," Ruth chuckled. "And the doctors told you a few more. But that's not unusual. You've been in a fog of shock and recovery. Shall I tell you again?"
"Please. Maybe I'll remember this time."
"I'm sure you will. You're more alert now." Ruth sat on the edge of the bed. "The gun Fran used was a small caliber, so the boning in that beautiful belt you were wearing was enough to slow and angle the bullet. It left a long path that bled like an overflowing creek, but it didn't go deep." She spent a few minutes explaining the surgery before concluding, "You'll feel exhausted while your body adapts to the blood loss, and begins to replenish the supply"
"I do remember all that." Melinda's nose puckered after she took a long swallow of water from the glass Ruth held for her. "I'm not ungrateful for your company and care, Ruth, but where is Adam? I can't remember him being here."
"He was here at first, and I'm sure he's disappointed that he hasn't been here when you've awoken." Ruth turned abruptly from her patient to hide her blush at the half-truth. She rose and busied herself setting things in order on the bedside table and then grabbed the tray with the uneaten broth and hurried toward the door.
Melinda tried to call after her, but it took all her strength to raise her head. Her eyes slid shut as her she sank back into the pillow.
Ruth was greatly relieved to find her charge sleeping when she returned, but she paced the room as she practiced different ways of telling Melinda what she would soon demand to know. She raised her eyes heavenward and whispered, "Please help Adam find their children quickly, Father. I don't know how their mother will handle the news if they remain missing. And in your wisdom, give me the words to be truthful, while not sounding as dire as that telegraph seemed."
Three
It had taken effort, ingenuity, and engineering to return the desk to upright. Adam had seen Jamie favoring his arm even though the young man had claimed it didn't hurt. That had made him rethink the plan to take opposite sides and right it through brute force. Instead, he'd lifted it from the floor in increments after blocking the lower legs to keep them from sliding, and had Jamie stack books under the edge until it was angled high enough that their three good arms could apply enough leverage to tilt it into place.
After rolling the chair to its normal position, Jamie gave Ben's restored office area a once over. He grinned at Adam. "Everything looks fine except for the missing lamp, but I don't want to know what Pa'll say when he opens a drawer. I heard everything sliding around in there when we flipped it."
"You'll hear what he has to say as long as you're within a mile of the house. He can't abide anyone…ah…rearranging his desk. He'll be busy a full day putting it back in order."
To see if it was as bad as they both thought, Adam joined Jamie behind the desk and opened the middle drawer. The inside was a jumble of writing implements, clips, and miscellaneous thingamabobs that had vacated their individual compartments. Worse yet was that some of the mess had fallen behind and were now lodged there, preventing it from closing completely. He cringed first and then laughed as he imagined his father's expression the first time he used the desk.
His laugh died away in the silent room as his mind returned to more pressing matters. "Hop Sing said he hadn't seen you today, so I don't suppose you've had breakfast." The young man shook his head. "He also mentioned leaving something warming on the stove. Let's go see what we can find. We'll talk while we eat, unless you still want to run away."
Jamie followed his older "brother" into the kitchen and put plates and silverware on the table while Adam gathered a basket of biscuits, butter, and the plates of bacon and scrambled eggs Hop Sing had placed by the oven vent.
The older Cartwright poured coffee before disappearing into the dining room to grab the bottle he'd used as an additive earlier. He held it out towards his companion after adding a good dose to his cup. "Have you ever had whiskey?"
"No, but today might be a good day to start." He grinned as he held up his cup.
"I don't think so." Adam set the bottle on the table. "I had my first taste of liquor after I'd split my lip when I was twelve. Joe's mother, Marie, wanted to stitch it back together, and Pa figured I'd be more amenable to that method of repair if he gave me something to dull my senses. That brandy felt good going down, but I'm pretty sure he regretted his thinking when I threw up on his shirt a little later."
A chuckle turned into a laugh as Jamie imagined his adoptive father dealing with a shirt covered in Adam's lunch. He stopped abruptly as he remembered what was happening in the present, and stared at Adam. "Why are you being so nice to me?"
"Why wouldn't I be…nice?"
"You read Pa's letter. I let your kids be…tormented…and abandoned, and no one can find them now. I'd think you'd hate me."
Adam grabbed the edge of the table as he relived the emotions he'd felt while reading his father's note. When he was calm again he laid his hand on Jamie's arm. Nothing in what Pa wrote places any blame on you. I know you feel horrible, but you did what Cartwrights do, Jamie. You played your hunch, and stayed alive so you could keep trying. What good would it have done for you to provoke them into doing something even worse? You got away to tell the story. Pa has always said, 'When there's life, there's hope.' As far as we know, AJ and Lizzy are fine, and we just have to help them get home." He saw the boy's confusion reflecting back at him. "What else is bothering you?"
"It's just…" Jamie faltered. He sighed sharply as he began again. "It's just that Cartwrights would never let something like this happen to one another. How can I claim to be one of you when I couldn't prevent this?"
A low rumble started in Adam's chest and worked its way out as a wry laugh. "My brothers and fathers need to tell you all the stories about the Cartwrights, not just the good ones. That cut lip I just told you about; Hoss did that to me. He didn't mean to, but he did. And if you want to know whether I've ever experienced the same soul wrenching doubt you're feeling right now, then you'd have to know about the time I shot Little Joe."
"You…shot Joe?" Jamie squeaked out. "On purpose?"
"There were times I might have thought about doing it on purpose, but that wasn't one of them. He stepped in front of a shot I'd taken at a wolf. It got even worse because that wolf pounced on him when he went down. We were a long way from home, and I had trouble getting the medicine Joe needed once we finally made it to the house and the doctor prescribed it. Those delays nearly cost Joe his life."
"Wow!"
"There was a time during that ordeal when I'd decided to leave the Ponderosa too, but not until I'd faced the outcome. I was older than you are when that happened, so I won't hold it against you that you were prepared to bolt." He smiled warmly at the youngster. "Something tells me you would have done the right thing with a little more thought. My father wouldn't have adopted a coward."
Jamie nodded. "So what do we do now?"
Adam grabbed a biscuit and slathered it with butter and jam. He was chewing as he continued. "I know you've already told others what happened, but I need to see it through your eyes now, and get your thoughts as to why things went as they did. Don't hold back even if it means telling me that Lizzy or AJ provoked these boys—intentionally or otherwise. We can't figure out this puzzle until we put all the pieces together."
Jamie spent the next hour going over every detail of the outing. It was easier to tell this time. They continued eating during the discussion, so it didn't feel like he was on trial as it had before. Well, maybe he still felt like he was on the witness stand, but Adam was his attorney, not the prosecutor. There was question after question posed as Adam listened, making him think harder about each detail. And the best part was that Adam wanted his opinion. Everyone else had just wanted the "facts," and then had told him what they thought. He was able to relive the sequence of events without fear eating away at his innards; baring his soul and sharing his horror with the one person he'd thought would judge him most.
It was difficult for Adam to keep his feelings in check as Jamie spoke. Yet it had been easier "hearing" the story than it had been reading it. He asked for clarification, and received very thoughtful answers and opinions from this young man. This allowed him to see the day unfolding instead of just feeling raw pain, and he formed a few more questions along with some hope. "Tell me again what you told AJ while you rigged the knots."
Jamie closed his eyes as he pictured those desperate moments. "I said I'd be back for him, but if he did get free, he should take Lizzy and hide."
"Now tell me what you saw when you went back to where you'd left my children."
"Their horse was gone. But then I saw that the boat was still way out from shore and overturned. I didn't know whether they'd made it out and rode for home, or drowned. That's when I went crazy and charged those two boys. The one got so riled that he shot me when he tried to put the gun away, and then they tore off. I called and called for AJ and Lizzy, and we saw a couple things when we looked around, but then decided that we needed help."
"You said you saw 'things'…such as?"
"Lizzy's boot was on the ground. She wouldn't have left without that. And one of her hair ribbons was snagged in a loose splinter on the boat."
The uncertainty he saw in Jamie's eyes made him ask, "What bothers you about those things?"
"Once we all got there and looked around, they also found her apron draped over some brush at the edge of the water. That…and the ribbon looked…almost…"
"Staged?"
A nod. "That apron was double-knotted. I know because I tied it that way when it kept coming open. The water would have tightened the knot, and even if it did it come open, how did it slip over Lizzy's head and end up so neatly on a bush?"
Adam breathed fully for the first time since reading the telegram. "That's an astute observation. It might have happened if the waves brought it to shore and the wind picked it up. Was the wind onshore or off?"
"Off," the young man said without hesitation. "I kept thinking that even if it had come off, it should have blown further out or sunk."
"Exactly!" Adam's face screwed up in thought. "Did AJ have any idea where he was? We never went to that part of the lake."
This time the young man shook his head. "He knew we'd come from the fishing pond, but they blindfolded him."
"Pa spent a lot of time one day going over a map of the Ponderosa with him, explaining what we did in each part, so AJ might have figured out where he was from the lake's contour."
"He'd have to get up higher to see that," Jamie said excitedly. "But there were no tracks leaving the water. We looked a long ways down-shore and even Hoss couldn't find anything." His shoulders fell again and he bowed his head.
"You said down-shore. Did they only search in the direction towards the house?"
"Yes. Even if AJ didn't know exactly where he was, he would have heard which way we'd gone when we left. He wouldn't have moved towards us."
A smile began to grow along with Adam's hope. "AJ might have reasoned that he should do just that. He knew those boys planned to come back and that they'd think he'd headed for the house when they saw the horse gone. He couldn't go fast enough to get ahead with Lizzy on that little saddle. He wouldn't want to be caught." He pictured what might have happened. "I think AJ would have hidden in the brush along the lake until he could run…"
"…To the shelter of the tree line, and then upwards!" Jamie shouted in conclusion.
"Where he could see his location and the direction home," Adam added.
"Do you think that's what happened?"
"There are only a couple of options to consider. They didn't make it home; so they either drowned, fell off the horse somewhere along the way, or they headed for the safety of the hills. I'm sure they've already searched the most direct road home; we don't have true evidence of drowning, so I'm going with the hills."
Four
Ruth could feel Melinda watching her from the moment she carried a tray with broth and juice into the room. When she spoke, her voice pitched too high as she tried to sound cheery. "I expected you'd be waking up, so I got your lunch." With the nourishment safely deposited on the table, she opened the curtains and raised the window to let in more fresh air while keeping her back toward the patient. Her uneasiness was burning in her cheeks and she wore a lingering grimace in testament to how unnatural she'd sounded.
"Where's Adam." There was no pleasantness in Melinda's tone. "I want to see my husband…now!"
"He isn't here, I'm afraid," Ruth answered without turning. "He might not have expected you'd be awake this soon."
"You're saying you were able to figure out that I'd be able to eat something because I'd be awake, but Adam chose this time to go do something else?" Receiving no answer, she said forcefully, "Look at me, Ruth. You're a good friend, but a horrible liar."
Ruth knew the time had come. She could continue digging a deeper hole of half-truth or be honest. When she'd considered it earlier, she'd decided the amount of truth she'd reveal depended on how well Melinda was doing, and this strong-willed woman seemed strengthened by the mystery. "He doesn't want you to worry," Ruth finally blurted out. "It's just that he can't be here right now." She pushed the tray-laden table to the side of the bed while taking a deep breath. "Let's get started; it's very important that you eat."
Despite Ruth's reassurance, Adam's absence let Melinda know that something was very wrong, and she wasn't in the mood for word games. "I think I could use something to eat," she said while giving Ruth an innocent smile. "But it would go down better if I was sitting up. Could you help me?" Melinda's mouth set in a solid line as she gathered strength for what she was about to do. When she was upright, she grabbed the sleeve of Ruth's dress, and hung onto it. With their faces inches apart, she said, "Where is Adam? Tell me or I'll scream, and then I'll ask the nurse where he is when she comes. And if she doesn't tell me, I'll keep screaming until someone answers me."
"All right." Ruth agreed as she pulled her arm free and stood up. "I promised Adam I wouldn't say anything until you were stronger. But," she grinned at Melinda, "I think you just proved that you have a little muscle power returning, and you're thinking straight enough to be devious."
Melinda shared what had been hiding in the back of her mind. "Was there a second shot in the hotel room?" Ruth nodded. "Did that one strike Adam? That's the only reason I can think of for him not being here."
Ruth shook her head. "He was here at the beginning…until he got a telegram from Nevada, and had to go."
"Oh, no!" Melinda's jaw dropped as she considered this news. "Is Ben ill…or…?" She didn't wait for an answer. "It must be Ben. Adam wouldn't have left except for his father." Her world began to dissolve around her as she watched Ruth's face for confirmation, and saw none. The "except for" principle she'd used began to widen as she thought about who else was back on the Ponderosa, and her hand moved to her mouth as she envisioned Lizzy and AJ. "No," she moaned while grabbing for Ruth's hand. "Please tell me it's not one of the children." Ruth seemed unable to form words, but Melinda could see the pure desperation in the other woman's eyes. The communication was silent, yet loud enough to fill the room. "Both of them?" she whispered. "Ill?"
There was no turning back. "Both of them…are missing." Ruth sat on the bed and pulled Melinda into her arms as the stunned mother began to cry.
"I don't understand," Melinda finally choked out. "They were with three adults."
Ruth held Melinda tighter. "The telegram said only that they were missing after an outing, and that you should come home immediately."
"Then they weren't aware that I'd been injured?" Ruth shook her head. "Perhaps if they'd have known, they wouldn't have expected him to come?"
"I don't know what you mean." Ruth pulled away to study Melinda's face.
"I'm trying to gauge how serious this is. If they'd have said not to come once they knew I was in the hospital, then perhaps the children were already safe, but wanting us home."
Ruth looked down and closed her eyes, knowing that her next words would crush Melinda. "I took Adam's note to the Western Union office so he could stay with you. He wired Ben that you'd been hurt, and he'd be coming alone. Ben had waited in Virginia City for Adam to respond, and I received an immediate reply. It said for him to go to the house first where there'd be a note with the details."
"Nothing else? He didn't say what happened?"
"I assume it was too complicated for a telegram. Adam left about 14 hours ago, and if all went well, he is there and looking for them by now. He promised he'd update us once he knew the situation."
Melinda's face reflected the granite quality of her will. "I need to be there, Ruth. It won't be enough to get…updates."
"I can't imagine how awful this is for you, and being helpless to assist must feel like flames licking at your heart. But you're in no shape to get out of bed, much less travel."
"I feel fine," Melinda vowed, even as she winced while adjusting her position. "Well maybe not fine, but I don't hurt any more than I did after having the children, and I was up and around the day after they were born." Talking about her babies renewed her tears. "I have to be there. Please help me."
Ruth was up pacing. "The pain isn't the problem. It's the blood loss. You've made progress just in sitting up, but if you tried to stand, you'd end up in a heap. The best place for you is in that bed. Right now you think you can take on the world because adrenaline is flooding your body. But your recovery is only beginning."
"I am exhausted," the patient admitted as she leaned heavily onto the pillows behind her. "But I saw your face while you were pacing, and I think you have an idea. Tell me about it, and I'll do whatever I need to." Her posture steeled as she sat up again and faced her friend. "I pray we'll hear that the children have been found and all is well, but if Adam hasn't confirmed that by the end of today, then I will head home, with or without your help."
Ruth's laugh echoed in the room. "That's your plan? You're just as hard-headed as your husband. I'm curious; how do you expect to board a train, climb into a stage and still later, a wagon, if you don't have the strength to get out of bed?"
A resigned smile played at the corner of Melinda's mouth. "How about I work on getting stronger. You can figure out the rest." She took Ruth's hand. "Don't look so surprised that I'd put this in your hands. Have you forgotten that you're still White Buffalo Woman, even if you're also Ruth Halversen? You made a life for yourself on that mountain despite the odds against you. The prospect of getting me home is nothing compared to that."
Ruth saw her friend's despair at being so removed from her children. A memory of her father's unending agony over thinking she'd died frightened and alone while he'd recovered in safety, came to mind. It had weighed heavily for his entire life. Finding her as an adult made him happy, but he never recovered from the years of doubt and self-loathing. She hadn't been able to fix that for him, but she could help Melinda. "I do have an idea. Let's pray it's not necessary, but I'll start the arrangements, while you," she put her finger on Melinda's nose, "start eating everything I bring you. We can't replace the blood you lost but you can give your body everything it needs to make more. And the liquids will add volume to your circulation, and flush the last of the ether from your system. You're going to stand up this afternoon, and then sit in a chair. By tomorrow, you're going to take a few steps. We'll leave when you can walk out the door."
Five
Ben's, "Is there no end to the madness in this world?" accompanied his long sigh after hearing Adam's brief explanation of Melinda's encounter with the insane woman. "I'm sorry you had to leave her and come home to…this."
"Fortunately Melinda thinks so well of Ruth that I could leave. Ruth knows the staff at the hospital, and I have to admit that I saw her White Buffalo Woman's fierceness when she demanded answers and the best room for Melinda. I have no doubt that she will continue to be a mighty advocate."
Hoss and Joe had come over when they'd seen Adam and Jamie ride up, and listened to their brother's recap wearing the same dumbfounded expression as their father. Hoss nodded. "I only met Ruth once, and although she seemed shy, there was somethin' powerful about her."
Joe nodded towards Jamie who'd gone over to talk to the Starke boys. "He looks better this morning."
"Paul prescribed rest, and I think that was the best medicine." Ben looked at Adam. "Did you get the feeling that he'd slept?"
"He said he had. I'm sure it wasn't easy, but sometimes your body accomplishes what it needs to do no matter how you feel about it. His arm still hurts. He favored it when he, ah…" Adam recalled when he'd seen the boy wincing, and decided his family didn't need to hear about that part of the morning. "…was helping in the kitchen."
"I'm glad you got him to eat something," Ben said thoughtfully. "I know he feels responsible."
Adam nodded, and waited to say more until Jamie trotted back to them. "The two of us went over the details, and we have a few ideas."
"Where have you been searching this morning?" Jamie asked the others.
"I keep goin' over the same shoreline hopin' for any clue that AJ and LIzzy came out of the water," Hoss explained. "And Joe took men into the tree-line up there lookin' for some sign that they'd gone there to hide." He shook his head sadly. "But there ain't nothin' either place."
The tightness in Adam's throat and chest kept him silent as it had at other times since receiving this news. A few deep breaths allowed him to speak again. "Did you search the shoreline towards where the others went to fish?"
"No," Joe answered. "They wouldn't have headed towards the people who'd hurt them."
"Adam and I think they might have," Jamie said forcefully as he looked up at his "oldest brother". "AJ might have snuck along the shore to see what we were doing, maybe hiding in the brush until we rode past on the way back to where we'd left them. Then they could have run to the woods."
Hoss nodded as he considered the new information. "That makes a heap'a sense."
"It gives us a new course to follow." Adam looked pointedly at each Cartwright. "Jamie and I tore this ordeal apart for clues. There's still a lot of 'ifs' involved, but we think AJ created two diversions to keep those boys wondering whether they'd headed for home or drowned. That indecision would have given AJ and Lizzy time to run for safety."
Hoss turned towards Adam. "That's a lot of strategy for a nine-year-old. You think AJ could'a put a plan like that together?"
He closed his eyes for a moment as he pictured his children being swallowed by the undertow of the lake. "AJ's an intuitive kid, and he could have figured this out. On the other hand, it may be just as it appears: the horse spooked and ran, and AJ and Lizzy fell overboard with their hands tied and were sucked into deeper water. But I'm not ready to believe that yet."
Joe sighed. "I hate to point this out, but if they'd managed to hide, why didn't they come out when they saw Jamie or us looking for them?"
Adam's face paled. "That crossed my mind." He pinched the bridge of his nose and concentrated before addressing Jamie. "You only looked in the area of the boat at first, and then left for several hours?"
Jamie nodded. "When they didn't answer I knew I'd need help."
"So the children were too far away to hear you calling at first. They may have waited a while, but then headed up the hill when you didn't come for them. It's possible they heard the gunshot and AJ decided he'd have to get somewhere safe, just as you told him. Once he figured out where they were, they started home. It would take a long time to make the trip on foot, and they'd have stopped when it got dark. Let's make a last sweep of the lake to find their starting point. Then we'll go overland."
Adam sent Hoss and Joe to make a final sweep of the shoreline where the boat had been found, and then took Ben aside. "I need you to do two things, Pa. First, I'd like you to ask the townsfolk to leave. The ones who came out this morning are mostly gawkers who might destroy evidence in their zeal to seem busy. Then, please cull the crew to half, keeping the best trackers here and sending to the others back to ranch work. We'll be much better off with a small, organized group."
Ben readily agreed to those requests, but Adam knew his final appeal wouldn't set as well since it meant his father would have to leave the search. He edged into his plea. "Pa, you're the only one I trust to do this. I wrote a telegram containing the barest of truth for you to send to San Francisco. I need you to send it and then stay in town until you hear back from Ruth about Melinda's condition."
"Will Ruth tell Melinda what's going on?"
He grinned resignedly. "Melinda, will pick up on Ruth's anxiety as soon as her eyes are open, and hold her down until she explains why I'm not there." He handed over the note he'd composed at the house. "Nothing can ease what this says, but I kept it hopeful. I trust you to make a decision about what more to divulge. I've no doubt those two are going to demand it. I also need you there if there are decisions to be made as to Melinda's treatment."
On his way back to the shore, Adam picked up a long branch and made sure it was strong enough to withstand pressure without snapping. He and Jamie were going to search the lake's edge in the direction they thought the children had actually gone. The younger Cartwright agreed to walk on land looking for damage to the brushy growth indicating someone exited the water, while Adam moved the small boat along the water's edge, using the branch as a punt. Finding nothing on their first pass deflated their hope, but Adam hollered. "This time I'll get closer to shore, and we'll look at animal runs ending at the lake."
"I already looked at those and didn't see footprints, Adam," Jamie hollered back. "The ground is pretty roughed up though. Hoss had people leave their horses here, and they came to the edge to drink."
"I'll meet you by each clear spot," Adam said while pointing. "Maybe I'll see something from the water."
Man and boy began searching again. Adam smiled at Jamie before shouting as he slipped from the boat and waded along the shallow edge. He pointed downwards. "There are small footprints sunk in the muck along here."
Jamie's excitement made him turn circles like an excited puppy as he tried again to find evidence leading from the lake.
Hoss and Joe came running after hearing Adam's shout, but stopped short with their brother's warning, waiting for direction.
"I found prints! Joe, help Jamie look up there, and Hoss, get in the water farther down and work the edge towards me."
The brothers in the water found more toe prints and even a few handprints where AJ might have reached down to steady himself. This sign of life elated Adam while simultaneously breaking his heart. Were these imprints made by the same tiny toes he'd tickled and pretended to nibble on when his children were younger? It wasn't that long ago when such play had made Lizzy scream with laughter and feigned fright as she'd holler, "Don't eat me, Daddy!" He knew from the accounts of the ordeal that this same little girl had been screaming in pure terror 24-hours earlier, and he wished there was another desk handy.
As he and his brother neared the spot where the prints ended, Adam spotted something that made his blood turn as cold as the lake. He pointed to a spot just below the grass on shore, and asked Hoss, "Did you reach down to steady yourself there?"
"Not that I recall, but I might'a. I'm a little top-heavy at times." Hoss sent his brother a raised lip inquiry. "Why'd ya ask?"
"There's a big handprint a near the smaller ones. One of us must have made it." He'd said it, but he didn't believed it. This print had been made by someone more Adam's size than Hoss's, and he knew for sure he hadn't done it. It could be a coincidence; a print made by a neighbor who come to the lake and steadied themselves as they'd reached down to rinse their hand after catching a fish. There were logical explanations, but lurking in his heart was the suspicion that its proximity to AJ's was no coincidence.
Darkness clouded Adam's mind as he considered what a man's presence with his children could mean. A thousand possibilities crowded in for recognition; none of them good. His thoughts remained awash in these variables until he was startled by Hoss's touch.
"Hey, Adam. We done proved your speculation." Hoss stretched his neck to see farther down the shoreline. "The little ones couldn't a seen them other boys from here, but I'm betting they could'a heard 'em just fine, and they skedaddled after the others rode past, like you said. Now we just gotta find where they went."
Little Joe bore his bad news to the pair creating puddles around their feet after climbing to shore. "Jamie and I can't find any small footprints up here."
Hoss hung his head. "It's my fault. I sent everyone this way to keep them from tramplin' things by the boat."
"You did what you thought best, Hoss." Adam made a visual search of the woods in the distance, before pointing. "That's where they would have gone. It's closest to where we are."
Joe moved so he could see the men and whistled for their attention. They were soon on their way with the family's horses in tow.
Adam sent the group out in a 180-degree arc from a central point at the edge of the woods. The mistake of eliminating the actual lake exit had delayed the correct search by nearly a day, and he had to catch up. The searchers rode a straight line along an invisible protractor, some going along the edge of the woods while others headed upwards at increments of the arc. The Cartwrights took the points nearest 90 degrees, thinking this would be the way AJ headed to see the lake below. The men were told to ride forward in 10-minute increments, and then leave their horses to mark how far they'd gone, and make a sweep of the pie-shaped space between themselves and the next rider on the arc.
Slim and Micah, hands who'd been with the Ponderosa for a few years, were searching the left sections of the woods adjacent to the road. They'd ridden out as instructed and had met as they'd begun searching on foot.
"This is a sad situation," Micah said as he removed his hat and used his shirtsleeve to wipe the sweat from his face. "It's like looking for two movin' needles in a haystack that don't stay put."
"Did you see anything?" Slim asked.
"Nothin', how's 'bout you?"
The tall, thin man shook his head. "I seen prints from two horses shortly after settin' out. They're hangin' the edge of the woods, but them kids is on foot, and besides these are goin' in the wrong direction."
"Probably a poacher tryin' to get away without bein' noticed after all'a us showed up." Micah looked up at the sky through the trees.
"That's what I'm thinkin' too." Slim agreed, and then followed his friend's gaze upward. "I noticed it was getting' cloudy but that looks like rain rollin' in." He shook his head again. "I ain't never liked being wet."
A shiver rippled across the other man's shoulders. "Maybe you should be thinkin' more about them little'uns instead of yerself. They must be half-starved, scared outta their wits, and wishin' they was home."
Slim huffed as he turned away and said quietly, "That's if they's not in that lake or a wolf ain't got 'em yet."
Six
Melinda was sitting in a chair, and she smiled when Ruth entered. She inched forward on the seat but slid back when she was unable to stand. The smile turned to a disappointed grimace. "I thought maybe you'd run away," she teased. "You've been gone for hours."
"I haven't been home since you were brought here, and needed to bathe and change clothes." Ruth didn't say anything about her trip to the railyard to talk with them about the Cartwright's Pullman or the small yellow envelope that had been handed to her at the hospital's front desk when she'd returned. "You look good; there's even a little pink in your cheeks," she said enthusiastically.
"I'm getting tired now, but I enjoyed being out of bed. I haven't received anything from Adam yet, so I'm hoping everything is fine." Melinda noticed that Ruth's blink took a little too long. "Out with it."
Ruth pulled a chair over and handed her the telegram as she sat. "This just arrived. The receptionist told me they were about to bring it up when they saw me come in."
Melinda's hands were trembling as she slid her finger beneath the flap and opened the folds to read. Still missing (Stop) Still looking (Stop) Hopes high for a quick find (Stop) She showed it to Ruth and leaned her head back. "I know Adam. And this," she raised the telegram for emphasis, "is a half-truth that confirms my worst fears. Those men know the ranch like the back of their hands. If they knew where my babies were, they'd have them already." Her face crumpled into agony. "There's something dreadfully wrong, and I need to know what it is." She reread the wire. "There's a handwritten note at the bottom saying that the sender is awaiting a reply about my condition."
"Do you think it's Adam?"
Melinda's head lolled side-to-side against the back of the chair. "I'm assuming its Ben or one of the hands. I can see Adam asking his father to do it in case there are decisions to make, but he's out looking for AJ and Lizzy. It's the only place he'd be now…unless…"
"I'm going to play devil's advocate," Ruth began. "It may even sound harsh, but you need to think this through. What can you do in Nevada that you can't do here where you're safe? You can't join the search. We can pray together here, and I can demand more explicit information from the person sending the wire."
Her spine steeled as it had earlier, and Melinda sat up to face Ruth eye-to-eye. "Maybe I can't help, but I can be there to support my husband's efforts. I will presume that our children are alive and will be found, but I can't wait around here until it happens." Tears began rolling down her cheeks. "Adam is already blaming himself for this; I know that as I know myself. He had misgivings about leaving them at the ranch." She watched as Ruth's eyebrows rose in surprise. "I don't mean that he distrusted his family. It's just that we've never been separated from them." She sniffed loudly. "It's not like them to wander off either. They're obedient and respectful, so whatever happened has darkness to it, and Adam needs me there to give him perspective."
Ruth understood her friend's fear. She'd seen the look in Adam's eyes the day before when Melinda had been wounded. He was a strong man who faced things dead on. But she wondered how much loss was too much for even a strong man. "I think you should rest now," she said as she rose to fold down the sheets and plump the pillow. "There are a few more details I'll have to work out tomorrow, but we'll leave on Tuesday."
"How are we getting there?" Melinda asked as she dried her tears on the sleeve of her robe.
"I don't want to say yet. There's a chance things won't work as I envision them." Ruth helped Melinda stand and inch her way to the bed, and got her tucked in. "Did you eat what they brought you for lunch and a snack?" Receiving a nod, she added, "That's good. I'm going to return the telegram and ask for a few more details while you sleep. I promise I'll be back soon. Your job is to get as strong as possible."
"Will you tell them we're coming?" Melinda asked as she struggled to stay awake."
"Not yet." After Melinda dozed off, Ruth pulled paper from the case she'd brought from home and read over the notes she'd made about what still needed to be done before their trip. She'd found out that Paul Martin was a Virginia City physician who was well-respected by the doctors at this hospital, so she decided to ask him to meet them when they arrived in Nevada. The railway had listened to Melinda's circumstances and promised to get the Pullman to their destination without difficulty. The hotel had packed Adam and Melinda's things, and sent them to the railyard, so that was done. She'd stopped at the police station earlier to explain the situation, and had given Sergeant Rooney a formal statement of the events at the hotel. He'd said that would suffice.
The hospital doctors weren't eager to discharge Melinda but understood that trying to keep her would be more harmful to her wellbeing, especially since the trip would be taken in what Ruth had described as a hotel on wheels. There was still the matter of gathering the hospital records Dr. Martin would need, and she'd need to build a fire under the staff to make sure they had the notes and supplies ready.
"We make quite a team, Mrs. Cartwright," she whispered as pulled the bedding up around Melinda's shoulders, and then headed out the door.
Seven
The search on the rise had gone on about an hour when Hop Sing rang the dinner bell, and everyone headed in for a hot meal. Adam wasn't hungry, but he joined the group to hear their reports. He raised his coffee and swallowed a long gulp to help hide his disappointment at the lack of news.
A light drizzle began, making the men stop to don their raingear before going back to their plates. Adam pulled his brothers aside as the men ate. "I'm going back up the hill until I get to the point where I can see the lake's outline. From there, we'll go over the crest. Maybe we'll find a place where they hunkered in and slept or a clearer sign of them walking towards home."
Hoss began scraping his half-eaten lunch onto the ground. "Hang on a minute and I'll come with ya."
"Finish your lunch, Hoss. I'll fire my rifle once I find what I'm looking for. Then you lead the others to me, and we'll go from there."
Adam had sound reasons for wanting to be alone. Trying to keep the group of men on task gave him little time to think things through. Other than the sparse prints along the shore, there seemed nothing to indicate anyone had walked into the woods. The forest floor was covered with sharp, dead pine needles, brittle branches, and pointed cones sitting on-end, like wooden blades. This undercoat wouldn't show footprints, but he had expected to find a trail of disturbed cover if Lizzy and AJ had gone through. He hadn't seen so much as a broken needle or a disturbed branch.
What ate at his insides as he headed back into the shaded woods was that Lizzy had no shoes, and taking this route would have felt like walking on broken glass.
Rain was falling in large, biting pellets when he reached the ledge he'd seen from below. He'd used a different route going up but the ground was just as undisturbed. He had a good view of the corner of the lake from here and it started a new jumble in his mind. Their land was vast, yet he realized that this was one of the few places on the Ponderosa his son would recognize just from having seen the map. This solidified his conviction that it had to be the way the kids would have come. Yet there wasn't one bit of evidence to prove it. Time was flying, and the absence of clues could no longer matter. He had to trust his gut.
The natural formations that were tucked into the descending hill and the flatter land beyond could have provided shelter, so he decided not to waste any more time in the woods. They'd cross quickly to the downhill slope and search each rocky overhang and brushy den along the way. Then they'd sweep the route towards home.
A thought of his children out in the rain made his chest hurt. There was no time for emotional indulgence, so he drew a ragged breath, pulled his rifle from its saddle sheath and fired into the sky.
The unusual summer rain had continued for hours as the men had painstakingly made their way across the hill, and down to the rockier ground below. The group reached the road leading to the ranch house as dusk diminished the meager light managing to penetrate the thick cloud-cover. Adam rode out ahead and motioned everyone over. "You all need rest, so keep looking while riding to the ranch, and then stay there tonight."
The hands left silently without needing encouragement, but Hoss, Joe, and Jamie remained. "What're ya plannin' to do now?" Hoss asked. He shivered as the cool wind that had followed the rain caused a chill.
"I'll go back the way we came; the rest of you are going home." He nodded toward the older two. "You've been out here just as long as the rest of the men, and won't be any good if you're falling asleep in your saddles. And you," he indicated Jamie. "I saw you holding your arm whenever we stopped, so you'll rest tonight and go see Paul again tomorrow." He smiled at the boy. "There aren't many jobs available for one-armed cowboys, so we need to make sure you keep both of yours." He silenced the teenager's, "But," with a deadly stare and then a wink. "There's another reason I want you at the house. Someone has to tell me what happens when Pa uses his desk."
"Maybe you should come with us." The suggestion came from Joe, as he looked toward Hoss for agreement.
The middle brother chimed in. "I know it's hard to walk away, but you ain't likely to see nothin' in the dark. Why don't we all head back for a couple hours of shuteye, some dry clothes and hot food, and then set out before dawn."
Adam's voice held the emotion of the weary. "How do I engage in those comforts when my children are out there, wet, hungry, and now…cold."
Hoss moved Chubby closer to Adam, gently grabbing the halter of his brother's mount and leading horse and rider away from the others. "I know yer heart must be shriveled to the size of a pea about now." He said when they were far enough away for privacy. "You think that if you just keep at it, them little'ens are gonna appear, but it ain't gonna happen that way. AJ's smart. He's holed up somewhere through this weather, and he'll make for home tomorrow when he can see where he's goin' again. He told me how you taught him which berries he can eat, and there's lots growin' on that hillside. They're as hungry as bears, but they're not starvin'. They'll use each other to stay warm and AJ has figured out some way of protectin' Lizzy's feet, cuz I'm betting you done thought lots about that too."
He could see his brother's eyes were focused somewhere in the distance, and he wasn't being swayed. "I know what those demons in yer head are tellin' you right now, because I'm imaginin' every awful and gut-punching thought you've had. I love them kids, and my heart's done melted to nothin' at not findin' them. But if you push til yer tired and sick, what good does that do them? Things'll look better in daylight."
Adam finally turned towards Hoss. "Your logic is sound, but I have to keep trying…and I want to be alone. I'll find a place to rest, but I need to stay here. Maybe something will make sense in the silence: something I can't hear or think of with people around." He silenced as he organized his thoughts. "What I need you to do, is make sure Jamie goes to see Doc Martin in the morning. Have Pa send a note along asking Paul to keep Jamie in town all day…for observation…so he's forced to rest. Fire off a few rounds when the rest of you get near tomorrow, and I'll let you know where I am."
The brothers were getting ready to leave when a lone rider appeared out of the foggy mist along the road from town. The sons recognized their father's silhouette, and rode to meet him.
Ben bowed his head and closed his eyes as he listened to the status report of the search. He'd gone through this agony with each of his sons, wondering why they hadn't returned home—fearing the worst—while hoping against the odds. He'd beaten them those times, but he knew that the balance of fate swung both ways.
"What did you hear from Ruth?" Adam asked, impatiently waiting for his father's attention to return.
"Melinda is doing better than expected, according to the wire. But…,"
"What?" Adam demanded.
"Ruth asked for details saying Melinda couldn't rest without knowing more." He blew a breath. "Or that was the gist."
"What did you tell her?" Joe asked.
"I wrote that they'd been left alone as a trick by other children and got lost heading home on their own. I imagine that provoked even more questions. I told the operator to reply that I'd gone back to the ranch and would send more tomorrow, should they ask for more." Ben's face contorted in thought as he recalled what else had happened at the Western Union office.
Adam stared at his father. "I know that look, Pa. What are you holding back?"
"Another telegram came in immediately after the one for me. I couldn't see what Leo was writing but I did notice his initial scribble indicating the origin as San Francisco."
"And you don't think that was a coincidence." Adam said.
"I wouldn't have, except Leo told his runner to take the message to Paul Martin. It struck me as odd, yet why would Ruth send anything to Paul?"
Adam could imagine why, but he didn't share his thoughts. It would be like Melinda to risk her life to get to her children. What he couldn't imagine was how she would convince the doctors to allow her to leave. The wagon travel at the end of the train trip could tear her incision open. He wished he had time to talk to Paul, but he trusted that the good doctor would provide a voice of reason.
Eight
By Monday evening, Adam's hope of simply finding his children was hanging by a spider's silk. The Sunday rain had erased any obvious evidence of where they'd gone, and the extensive search came up empty once again. He'd sent the men home for the night using the lake road, while he remained at the water's edge to check a theory that had been poking at his mind.
He shed his boots and re-inspected the area where they'd found the child-sized footprints. What he found swatted at that thread of hope, and made him consider another possibility.
The physical and emotional stress had worn Adam to the bone, aging him in every way. He'd had to let his muscles stretch after being on horseback for two days when he dismounted earlier. And he nearly crawled back onto land when his strength vanished just as his children had. His physical condition surprised him, and yet he recalled wondering how his father could look so much older on the day Ben Cartwright had found him pulling Kane on his death march through the desert. Now he understood completely.
His father and brothers had decided to stay with him at the lake and had gone to set up camp. He hadn't planned to join them, but his father had ridden over and issued a command for him to do so, and had kept dogging him until he'd complied.
He tied his horse and made his way to a rock next to the fire, where Hoss handed him a plate of the stew Hop Sing had sent along with them that morning. He'd also had no intention of eating, but while he'd been lost in thought, the fork had repeatedly risen to his mouth. When Hoss asked if he wanted more, he looked down, surprised to see his empty dish. The effect of the food was immediate and he soon felt some strength return.
After cups of coffee containing shots from the bottle Joe had stowed in his saddle bag, all four Cartwrights began to relax.
The hypnotic effect of the firelight and the lethargy created by the food and drink was interrupted when Hoss sat up and asked, "Where we going to look come mornin'?"
Adam had moved to the ground where he was reclining against his saddle. He'd been considering the same question, and had no answer to give. He remained silent until he sensed that everyone was holding their breath as they awaited a reply. "Have you ever felt that there was no answer—or at least no right one?" A short-lived grin formed as he heard the collective sigh released as he'd spoken.
Joe's question broke the renewed silence that Adam's question had brought with it. "Is that what you're thinking about this situation?"
"We've already searched…to borrow a couple clichés, high and low; far and wide. We've followed our instincts in choosing their most probable course. And…we've eliminated them."
"The Ponderosa is so huge that even I get turned around in places we don't go often," Ben said kindly. "That could easily happen to children. We just need to go farther and wider."
"No, Pa!" Adam's tone rang with despair, haloed with anger. "It could be true if this had happened in one of the more barren areas of the ranch with few landmarks. But not here." He sat up, grabbing a twig next to him, and drew the familiar map of the Ponderosa in the dust near the fire. His family moved closer to watch as he added lines representing the lake front, fishing pond, existing roads, and finally an X for the house.
He signed deeply as he looked into the faces of each man. "Here are the facts." He pointed to his map. "This is where AJ and Lizzy disappeared. AJ might not have been here before, but this spot would be the least likely place for him to get lost." He drew in curved lines along the lake's edge. "These pine-covered hills extend for miles in both directions, but we're in the one valley that connects the Tahoe shore to where they were fishing. That fact also puts us in the lowest foothills of the range. There is no way AJ would have led his sister into deeper woods or higher hills."
He sought his father's face as his own drifted into an agonized mask. "You showed him Ponderosa maps, Pa. AJ remembers everything he sees. He's been tested for recall and it's astounding. He doesn't 'know' everything, because he has to learn to use the information he remembers. But in this case…," He scrubbed his face as his breathing came in rapid bursts. "Pa…I haven't neglected teaching my son the things you taught me…things that could save his life in a situation like this. That along with remembering the map…."
Ben grasped his son's arm. "You're a wonderful father, Adam, and I know how much you've taught him. But AJ's young, inexperienced, and experienced a frightening situation."
"I understand that, Pa, but he would have remembered the landmarks on the map based on the topography of what he saw. He knew where they started, and would recognize the valley between the two timber ranges…and from that…." He returned to his visual aid. "He'd have known that the house was north-east. He'd have either gone over the smallest rise of the hill, probably cutting across on an angle just as we've done in our search, or gone back to the road along the lake. Both ways would eventually intersect with a main road. He would have followed the road, Pa, not continue on into the unknown…and…we would have found them by now."
"I see what ya mean, Adam, but I get the feelin' there's somethin' sorely botherin' you that haven't said yet." Hoss grabbed the coffee pot as he sat back and refilled his cup.
"Something's missing; something I can't figure out." Adam's haunted look was accented by the dancing flames of the fire. "It's beginning to feel like AJ and Lizzy ceased to exist at the edge of the lake…unless the land opened up and swallowed them, we should have found them…or some sign of them by now."
"We could have ridden by them while they slept," Joe suggested as he held his cup out to Hoss.
Hoss gave his younger brother a cautionary look. "We made enough noise shootin' our guns off out there that it would have woken the dead, Joe." His gaze settled on Adam. "Isn't that about what you're thinkin'?"
The granite expression Adam had tried to recapture splintered like the glass of the lamp that had fallen from Ben's desk. "There's something else. I checked the lake's edge again. Hoss and I saw one adult hand print, but today I found several more along the bank. We didn't see them the first time because we didn't look for them. It's obvious that there was an adult with those children. Bluntly put, our only 'evidence' of Lizzy and AJ, was likely just the remains of a father and his children cooling their feet in the shallows.
"So you're thinkin' that AJ and Lizzy are still in the lake." It was the hardest statement Hoss had ever made, and the absence of his brother's denial made him bolt upright and walk away, his metal cup clanging against stones in the dark as he threw it to the ground.
"You can't give up," Ben said quietly.
The silence lingered. "I'll keep looking until I find them, but we have to face…."He swallowed the remainder of his thought when he saw the agonized looks reflecting back at him. He laid his head back against his saddle. "I guess we'll do as you suggested, Pa, search farther and wider. But we should probably look deeper too." He thought a minute. "I don't want Jamie out here anymore, Pa. He's been a lot of help, but I'm glad you told him to stay with Paul tonight. I'll send a hand in tomorrow with another update for Melinda, and Jamie can wait in town for the answer to that. He pretends he's fine with being out here, but he looked worse than I did when he left last night."
Hoss returned to the group around the fire, and all four men hunkered into their blankets and private thoughts. Adam didn't want to sleep, but his eyes were heavy and his mind began to shut down its frantic pace as he muttered a final prayer. "Please, help me figure out what's missing."
Nine
Melinda reached out from her comfortable nest in the Pullman bed and took Ruth's hand. "I still can't believe you arranged this in two days."
"And I can't believe you were able to walk out of the hospital this morning…even if you needed a little help. We each did what we had to." Ruth's smile faded as she remembered why the trip was necessary.
"Did you ever wire the family?" The patient asked.
"My only communication was with Doctor Martin. I'm sure he'd say something if he'd any of them. He'll meet us when we arrive, and we'll go to the ranch if he gives you a clean bill of health. Otherwise you'll stay put in this car until you're strong enough."
Melinda nodded as her eyes darkened. "Is it Tuesday?" Ruth nodded. "They've been missing four days. Surely there'll be good news when we arrive."
"I'm sure of that." Ruth released the handhold and busied herself with finding a place to store the supplies she'd brought for Melinda's care. An ambulance wagon had taken them to the train yard where the Pullman had been waiting at the end of an eastbound train. This was not an express, but the engineer had promised they'd be at the Virginia City spur by mid-afternoon. The railroad had arranged for an engine to meet the train and pull their car to a sidetrack near the city.
Melinda dozed off almost immediately after the train pulled out, and Ruth used the time to look around the amazing home on wheels. The closets held clothing from all four Cartwrights, but her heart seized for a moment when she saw the little shoes and outfits belonging to the children. She had tried to be encouraging and hopeful to keep Melinda's progress from stalling, yet she suspected a dire situation existed at their destination. She knew the soon-to-be reunion between Adam and Melinda would be a loving one, but she feared it would not be sweet.
Adam awoke in the lifting dark of early morning, and poked at the fire to get it going for coffee. His father rose on one elbow and whispered his greeting.
"Let's go out a ways and speak privately," the older man said quietly, as he stood and stretched out the tightness caused by a night on the hard ground.
"I already know what you're going to say," Adam said lightly as they walked away from camp. "I did need that rest and things do seem better this morning."
Ben slipped his arm around his son's shoulder. "A little sleep can cure many problems."
"I still think there's something wrong; some clue we're missing or something that happened that we can't even account for, but until that shows itself, we'll keep doing what we have been."
"That seems right." Ben's arm tightened into a hug as he breathed a deep sigh. "So where do you want us today?"
"Would you to ride over to Seth Marx's place and have him bring his big boat and the net he uses to fish? We'll drag the drop-off with that and use the small boat to make a visual search again in shallower water." He realized he'd ended his father's burst of morning positivity when the older man's arm dropped back to his side and he stared at the ground. "I don't want to find them in the lake any more than you do, Pa. And I'm not saying I think that's the only place they could be. But we've got to start eliminating where they're not. While a few of us do that, the rest of the men can comb through the woods a little farther, and follow the road away from the ranch, in case they got turned around."
Ben nodded slowly. "You're right, Adam. We have to look at all possibilities. It's just that it's so…"
Adam saw the look of grief that had released its hold overnight; overtake his father's face again. "Don't look that way, Pa. We'll do everything we can. Go wake those lazy brothers of mine while I tend to needs. He waited until he was alone before doubling over in agony because of the lies he'd just told. He was determined to go on searching, yet he wasn't sure what they were searching for. Dropping to his knees, he raised his eyes and prayed for clarity as he had the night before.
Ben left as soon as his family finished a quick breakfast, and found Seth already out fishing a few miles down the shore. He got the fisherman to help by a promising to cover the income he'd have made if he'd spent the day fishing.
Joe rode the opposite direction to meet the men as they returned from the ranch, and set them up as a human chain to walk the foothills and near-woods for a final, thorough search. He'd seen a few eyebrows rise as he'd laid out his plans, and figured the men weren't thrilled about walking, yet the grumbling ceased when he reminded them what was at stake.
By 9 AM, Seth and Ben were netting in the deeper waters beyond the drop-off, while Hoss rowed the smaller boat with Adam hanging over the bow, watching for anything out of the ordinary in the clear water beyond the lake's edge.
"I've seen some big bass swimming around. Maybe I should drop a line and catch some for dinner," Hoss said, trying to gauge the depth of his brother's tension.
Adam didn't look back. "Sure, whatever you think best." Hoss stopped rowing, and that did make Adam turn around. "Do you see something?"
"Yeah, big brother; I see bass. Stay put a second, and listen to me." The big man ran his hand across his face. "Are you truly bein' thorough today, or do you believe that AJ and Lizzy are in here."
"A little of the one, while fearing the other," Adam answered truthfully. "Does it matter?"
"I s'pose not. But I'm not ready to think the worst yet."
"Then don't." Adam sighed deeply as his shoulders slumped forward. "I'd like to cross two possibilities as to where they are off the list of maybes, but I'm betting we'll end up with more questions."
"What'll we do then?"
"For one thing, I'll go to Virginia City and send out notices to nearby towns, alerting the sheriffs to be on the lookout for new families coming through."
Hoss's face paled. "Are ya thinkin' someone might have 'em?"
Adam shrugged. "There's the possibility that those foot prints were from AJ and Lizzy, and they were taken from here."
"Why would anyone do such a thing?"
"You remember that AJ was taken by that crazy woman while you were in Boston1. I was taken by a childless couple when I was little2, and even you experienced something like that as an adult after you lost your memory, and that couple tried to substitute you for their dead son. Maybe AJ and Lizzy were in the wrong place at the wrong…."
Hoss pointed suddenly, making Adam stop talking and turn towards the boat in deeper water. Ben was waving his sons over; the animation in his gesture conveying urgency.
Even with every bit of his strength put into rowing, it took time to reach the other boat, and Ben began shouting as soon as they were close enough to hear.
"It's the net. We've got something, and, well, we decided to wait for you two before pulling it in."
Hoss maneuvered the boat so he and Adam could hang onto the larger one. "What do you think it is?" Adam asked soberly.
Ben looked at his son, and then at the ropes leading downward to the net floating just below the surface. He waited for his son to look and then said to Seth, "Let's get it up."
It could have been any child's white bonnet entangled in the webbing, but it wasn't. He could see the embroidered embellishments that had been sewn on the brim by Elizabeth's grandmother, Margaret. The wet, variegated, pink floss flowers, and green vines sparkled with water drops in the morning sunlight, making Adam's heart dive so deep in his chest he could barely feel its beat. It seemed to take forever to disentangle the mass from the heavy hemp. The hat looked macabre and mocking as it sat atop the freed pile of brush and logs, but there was no child's body.
All four men released a breath as Ben handed Hoss the hat, pushed the flotsam into the bow, and then helped Seth lower the net again. He finally patted Adam's hand. "It's over son, you can let go now," he said softly, as he gently pried open the white-fisted grip Adam maintained on the edge of the boat. "Hoss is going to pull away so we can keep going."
"I think I done rowed at least 20 miles this morning," Hoss said as he rubbed his shoulder between bites of his sandwich.
Adam nodded weakly as he sipped the coffee he'd taken after refusing food. His stomach was in knots; his head ached from the bright glare of sun on the water he'd been staring at all morning, and although he thought he could handle nearly anything life threw at him, that child-sized clump of brush with Lizzy's hat had nearly undone him. He took another long drink of the hot brew Hop Sing had prepared after arriving in the chuck wagon, and grinned. "I don't think it was 20 miles, Hoss; maybe more like nineteen-and-a-half."
Joe brought his men down for lunch after finishing their first sweep of the foothill, and carried his plate over to sit with his family. "We got that entire lower section done this morning. Do you want us to keep going?"
Adam nodded. "The hill will get steeper now, but you can get a lot further today."
The group was still eating when a cloud of dust in the distance brought their attention to an approaching rider. A few minutes later, Roy Coffee pulled his horse to a stop. He accepted a plate with a sandwich, potato salad, and big slice of apple pie from Hop Sing; made his way over to the Cartwrights, and asked for a report on their efforts before he began eating.
He listened and asked questions until he was finished, and then said, "I got some news today." He addressed the entire family before concentrating on Adam. "A courier brought a letter from the county sheriff near Sacramento. After getting our telegram, he waited for Jeb and Gerry and took them in for questioning when the family got back Sunday."
"Will Sacramento hold them for you?" Ben asked.
"There ain't no agreement between California and Nevada for returning suspects. I can petition the governor once we charge them, and because this involves children, he might just agree to it." The sheriff took a drink of coffee. "But there's another problem. The report concerns me some. Sheriff Jones said those two are hooligans, but they've never done physical harm to no one. Them boys told him it was Jamie who wanted to torment yer youngsters because they were being such smart-alecks. They just played along."
"That's preposterous!" Ben shouted. "They shot Jamie for trying to help those children!"
"Yeah, about that…. They claim they was holding the gun on Jamie to protect themselves when he got mad about the kids being missin', and how'd he be in trouble because of it. The gun went off accidentally when Jamie tried to get it away."
Silence settled for a time until Hoss spoke. "The Starke boys ain't never been in no trouble, and they told the exact story as Jamie." He looked at his father. "I know which version I'd believe."
"Maybe so," Roy replied, "but based on that statement, I'd have to arrest Jamie and maybe even the Starke boys for whatever charges I'd bring on those two in California. We'd never get an order of extradition then."2
Adam stood and dumped his remaining coffee. "Those monsters know they can get away with this because it's just their word against Jamie and the Starkes."
Roy nodded. "That's about it."
Adam stopped to reconsider all that he'd found so far in searching for his children, and the color began to rise in his cheeks. "How big are those…boys?" He asked Roy.
"I seen 'em in town while they was visiting. I'd guess they were about Joe's size, only sturdier built. I kept thinking they looked like big pups; you know…with paws so big you know they're not fully grown yet."
Adam asked further, "Where do the Starkes live?"
Ben pointed to the northwest. "It's easier to take the lake road around the foothill, but the Starke boys always come over the top."
Adam began pacing. "Jamie said the other boys went that way when they left. That means they'd have ridden past the shoreline we've been searching." The coffee he'd consumed began to feel like lye churning in his stomach, and he walked away from the group as it boiled up his esophagus.
Ben's face twisted into a puzzled grimace as he tried to figure out why Adam seemed so upset. "Don't worry, Adam," he called to him. "The truth will come out. People won't believe Jamie would act so horribly."
Adam's pained laugh seemed to echo to the trees and back. "Do you realize that not one of you even thought about there being two witnesses who could set things straight? It seems those two boys know for sure what you all must already suspect!" He turned away as he bent forward to catch his breath.
The group looked at each other in stunned silence. Hoss shook off his stupor first. "I'll see to him," he said as he went to his brother and wrapped his big arms around Adam's shoulder protectively.
The others approached, but stopped a few paces away. Ben's, "My gut-reaction was only to defend Jamie against these lies, not to imply anything else," was met with a stern look from Hoss.
"It's more'n that, Pa. I'm pretty sure Adam is thinkin' them boys can say whatever they want because they know that the kids they tormented won't be makin' no statements."
"Why makes you say that?" Joe asked, shaking his head.
"It's them missin' pieces Adam talked about. After Jeb and Gerry shot Jamie, they high-tailed it back this way to the Starke's shortcut. They must'a saw AJ and Lizzy walkin' along at the edge of the water. Them boys don't know nothin' about extradition or the law not being able to reach them in California, so they decided to get rid of the only ones who could tell the real story."
Ben's complexion turned as white as the clouds drifting by above them. "You think they…"
"They ended the threat." Adam's voice was thick with grief. "There wasn't time or means to get them dumped in the lake, but they could have made a detour from the path and tied them up in the woods where they wouldn't be found. I'd say they killed them, but cowards would tie them up somewhere to die so they could say they didn't murder them."
Roy walked away to compose himself at the thought of what had probably happened to Adam's children. He heard Ben's assurance to his son that this was only one possibility. But he also heard the wobble of doubt in his friend's voice, and figured Adam heard it too. He finally returned and cleared his throat. "I'm gonna pick up the train at Reno tomorrow morning for Sacramento. Why don't you come with me, Adam. We'll question those two and catch the night train back."
Adam looked to his middle brother. "Would you go, Hoss? Your size alone is intimidating, but you have a way of getting people to trust you. It might work better than me strangling them."
"I'd be glad to. I'll break 'em in half if I have to."
"Just find out where AJ and Lizzy are. We'll start looking on the route they took to the Starke's place, but it'll go faster if we know exactly where…." Adam stopped abruptly, turned, and walked away.
Roy stood silently, watching as Adam stopped at the lake and leaned forward onto a tree. He knew the man needed privacy, and spoke to draw attention away from the grieving father. "Come into town this evenin' Hoss; we'll get going at first light. I'm sorry I have to leave now, but Gil from the train office told a few people that there's some fancy train car arrivin' later today. They all think it's bringin' some royalty or dignitary, but no one in town has received word of any important visitors arriving."
Ben smiled wryly. "I'm betting it's Melinda. This seems soon for her to travel, but I knew she'd get here. I'm glad; Adam needs her," He looked towards the lake. "I'll go tell him."
Ten
Adam smiled as his father told him about the stir in town. "Melinda must have convinced Ruth to make the arrangements. She couldn't have done this on her own."
"Maybe I should have been more honest in the telegrams," Ben said thoughtfully.
"That would have made her come sooner." He smiled sadly and sighed. "She'll be heartbroken that we haven't found AJ and Lizzy." His chin dropped to his chest. "I'm heading home now with Hoss, and then ride in with Hoss to meet the train. I'll tell Hop Sing to make up a room for Ruth. She'd never let Melinda come alone."
Father and son faced each other in silence, until Adam said, "It was my choice to make my life in Boston, and I knew that would mean we would be guests when we came here." He hesitated. "What I never considered; was that the miles between Boston and Virginia City would remain, even when we were here…until I heard you defending Jamie's honor in this affair, while forgetting that your own grandchildren were the victims."
Ben reached for his son, but Adam slipped his grasp and moved quickly to Hoss, who'd brought their horses closer.
Hoss looked over once they were away from the group. "Joe said he'll take the men to search the path the Starke kids used." His comment brought no response. "I'm glad Melinda's comin'. It'll be good fer both of you." Adam nodded but stared ahead.
Hoss didn't want to ride into this valley of trouble, but he finally spoke. "I heard what you said to Pa. Yer worried and hurt, and I can't know the pain in yer heart, but I think it'll look different when you have some time to think."
He blew out a long breath, before meeting Hoss's stare. "I might have been harsh, but that doesn't mean what I said wasn't true. I'm not blaming Pa for what happened; that burden is mine."
Old memories flooded Hoss's mind as he glanced over at his brother again. He knew Adam had taken the blame for everythings when they'd been growing up. Part of that was his innate responsibility as the oldest child, but their pa had always demanded a higher standard from Adam too. His earliest memory of this came from a time when he'd accidentally pushed a basket of bedding into the fireplace of their first cabin. He'd hidden while Adam had extinguished the flames, and when Pa had come in, he'd hollered at Adam, and had refused to listen to what had really happened. Pa had taken him along to check traps that day, and as he'd look back when they'd left, he'd seen Adam standing in the doorway. His brother's eyes had seemed lifeless.3
The truth about the fire had come out later that evening, yet Hoss knew that episode had left a mark on his brother's spirit, just like the fire had darkened the floor of their home. Adam had taken on the liability for everything after that. And he had witnessed Adam's early stoicism refine into a pure granite will as he'd grown up. It wasn't that Adam had become cold, uncaring or unwilling to have fun. He'd just become rigid about his responsibility, and never let anyone see how much things really bothered him.
Melinda had broken down some of that wall of will, and Hoss had seen first-hand how becoming a father had helped Adam find his own childlike wonder. But this situation was patching the cracks others had made in that barrier of his, and Hoss feared it would become stronger than ever. The big man's cheeks pinked as he considered whether they had become so protective of their newest family member that they'd forgotten—even if momentarily—that AJ and Lizzy were the ones who'd been lost. This tore at his soul.
He would have told Adam how sorry he was, but he'd slowed his pace during his thoughts and had fallen far behind. It was fine; Adam was too upset to listen anyway. "C'mon, Chub," he urged. "We can't catch him, but we don't wanna let him get home and gone again before we make it there."
Adam saw Jamie sitting on the steps of the Pullman when he and Hoss got to the rail yard. The boy's arm was in a sling and his face was so pale as to indicate he was feeling poorly.
"What's the matter?" Adam asked. "Does your arm hurt more?"
Jamie lifted his arm but didn't look up. "This is doing all right, I guess. Doc Martin kept me in town cuz it was getting red and weepy. I stayed at his office all day to take messages for him. I don't look so good cuz I just told Mrs. Cartwright what happened to your kids. Doc and that lady she came with are in there with her." He finally made eye contact. "You two don't look so good either, so I guess you haven't found AJ and Lizzy?"
Adam stepped around the boy, and pulled him up by his good arm. "You might as well come inside and hear the update. Thanks for being honest with Melinda. I know she appreciated that."
Paul was taking Melinda's pulse, when Adam walked in. She pulled her arm away and stood, swaying with the sudden position change, and then walked to him. "Please have good news," she whispered in his ear as they embraced.
Adam took her back to the chair; welcomed Ruth with a kiss to the cheek, and a re-introduced Hoss to her. "How'd the patient fare on the trip? He asked Paul.
"She's fine. I rented that open carriage from the livery to get her home. Jamie went over earlier and added some padding and pillows to combat the bumps and potholes."
"I suspected the telegram for Paul that arrived after the one for Pa, was from you." Adam said as he eyed Ruth. He smiled and turned towards his wife. "I wasn't happy about your plan, but I knew you were in good hands with Ruth and Paul." He kissed her cheek. "And I'm glad you're here."
Paul touched Adam's shoulder. "I'm sorry I haven't stopped by during the search. I've been out at Abigail and Hank's place. Her children have been ill for days. They both have a high fever and rash, and seem nearly comatose with the effects of what's happening. I've been able to help Abigail keep the fever from getting too high, but it has been a wait-it-out sort of malady." He saw Adam look protectively at Melinda. "You don't need to worry. It isn't contagious…at least not to adults. No one except the children came down with it. I thought perhaps Jamie was getting it when he came in yesterday. He'd been around Abigail's youngsters at your ranch the day before they took ill." He gave the boy a wilting look. "But it was just that his wound was inflamed and nearing infection and he wasn't taking care of himself. That makes me wonder if Abigail's two were bitten by an insect that carried a toxin."
Adam expressed his concern for the Myer's children, and then asked everyone to sit. "Would you mind telling what's happened over the last day, Hoss?" He held Melinda tightly while Hoss shared the details of the search and his plans for Sacramento.
Silence settled over the room as he finished, and everyone turned toward Adam and Melinda, awaiting their reaction. The silence lingered as Melinda buried her head in Adam's shoulder.
Taking a deep breath, Melinda regained her composure. "If I understand correctly, you think that the children are…gone…because these animals in California don't seem worried about their lies being challenged."
Hoss nodded. "That's the sad possibility, yet we ain't givin' up yet." The anguish showing on the faces of the two parents was so obvious that Hoss stood and took Ruth's arm, leading her toward the door. Paul and Jamie followed.
When they were alone, Melinda turned to Adam. "Do you think they're dead?"
"We followed every plausible scenario and didn't find a trace of them. So this theory fits the best." He sighed deeply. "I feel them when I stand by the lake, but I don't know what that means." He rested his forehead against his fist and sighed again. "I kept saying that something was missing. The unfortunate fact is that if those boys feel free to lie without fear of certifiable contradiction; then that completes the puzzle."
"It's only three days now. Hoss said those boys probably abandoned the kids rather than killed them. They could survive three days! You can still find them before…."
Adam's tone was cautious. "That's why Hoss and Roy are going to question them. And we'll keep searching while they do that."
His tortured look made Melinda ask, "Something else is bothering you. Tell me."
"It honestly feels like God reached down and plucked those two from the face of the earth, leaving behind just enough evidence and misdirection to throw me into never-ending confusion. God forgive me, but I think he's created some penitential quest I have to complete before the answer is given. It crushes me to think my children are paying for my sins and shortcomings, and my misery and complicity in creating their pain is making me strike out at others I love."
She touched his face, making him look at her. "This is not your fault, Adam. You are a faithful and good man, and none of this is on your shoulders. This torture was initiated by man, not God, and it will be solved by your hard work with his guidance. Consider this a test of trust; not a decree of punishment."
He smiled wanly and took her hand. "I'm glad you're here, my love. I'm a mess without you." He leaned forward to kiss her and then asked more about her condition. "You can tell me more about how you and Ruth planned your escape when this is over," he said after her brief description of her hospital stay. "If you're ready to go, I'll ride in the carriage until we get to the intersection that leads to the lake."
The rented carriage gave a smooth ride, and the trip to the Ponderosa was causing no ill effects on the patient. Hoss and Paul had stayed behind in town: Hoss to leave with Roy in the morning, while Paul had said Melinda would do fine with Ruth as her caregiver, and he promised to stop out the next day.
Ruth had insisted on sitting with Jamie to provide some company and lend a hand with the reins if the boy's arm tired while driving the team, while giving the Cartwrights time to talk privately before Adam left to join the search party.
Melinda raised her face to the warm, late-afternoon sunshine. "I know my being here doesn't change the situation, but I couldn't have stayed in that stuffy hospital another day." She gave Adam a lopsided grin. "Sometimes I think such places keep people sick instead of getting them well."
"You may be right about that," he said with a soft snort. "They keep you in bed so long you begin to grow roots into the springs. Maybe it would be better to get people up and moving as soon as possible. It seems to have done you a world of good." His arm tightened around her as he pulled her closer and kissed her cheek. "I don't want you overdoing it. Rest as much as possible; let Ruth help you, and eat what Hop Sing prepares so you get strong again. I see how you sway every time you stand."
She nodded. "I will. But I'm betting you're not taking care of yourself. You've lost weight in the few days we've been apart. I see it in your cheeks. And although you've been outside, you look as pale as I do. You haven't eaten or slept since getting here…have you."
"I'm afriad that if I close my eyes, I'll miss the one clue I need."
She angled herself to see him better, cupping his face in her hands. "Have you considered that if you don't allow your mind to rest, you might miss that clue because you're too fatigued? Or maybe the clue will present itself as you sleep? You've solved construction conundrums as you've rested and shut out other distractions."
"I'll rest tonight."
"Will you come home?" She asked hopefully.
"I won't be back until I have an answer. But I promise to take better care of myself."
Melinda's face crinkled in thought. "Something Paul said is troubling me." She sat back and grabbed Adam's hand. "He wasn't able to help because he was tending Abigail's children. Our children were with the Myer's children before they got sick…"
"Do you think they were getting ill when this all happened?"
"It's a possibility. Yet I don't know how that fits into anything." She saw the tortured look return to her husband's face as he tried to assimilate this new wrinkle. It could be another clue, but she realized it mostly heaped more uncertainty on top a mountain of the stuff. What she wanted more than anything now was a few more moments of peace before Adam went his way, so she thought of something to take their minds away. "Did you notice how Hoss acted around Ruth?"
He shook his head to clear his thoughts, and chuckled. "It was pretty hard not to. The human heart is an amazing thing. Hoss is embroiled in a horrid set of circumstances, yet there is still room to appreciate a beautiful woman he admires."
Melinda squeezed Adam's hand and lowered her voice. "Poor Hoss was blushing, and practically tripped over his own feet to make sure he could help Ruth onto the carriage." She stopped to squint. "You said he admires her. Does he know her better that I thought?"
"Hoss and Joe went on that quest to prove that Ruth existed…or didn't…after they found me half dead with fever on that mountain. Hoss dug like a dog after a bone, and found out a lot about Ruth. He's the one who said she'd left willingly because she had to figure out who she was on her own terms. Hoss felt a kinship with Ruth because he'd often felt out of place trying new things. That was the first time I realized how much he struggled with situations that came easy to the rest of us. He understood her so well that I knew Ruth had met the wrong brother on that mountain."
She leaned over to kiss his cheek. "They are a good match. Perhaps they'll figure that out if given time."
Eleven
Hoss paused with his hand on the latch of the front door and rested his head against the cool metal knocker. He'd gotten back mid-day, and had already stopped to give his report to Adam. The news he brought wasn't a surprise; he'd sent a short telegram immediately after speaking with Jeb and Gerry that said it all—No new information(Stop). He'd provided the details of the discussions now, and Adam had asked that he ride to the house and tell Melinda about it.
It was Thursday evening, and now AJ and Lizzy had been missing nearly a week. Children could survive days when there was water available and at least a little to eat, but the old adage that no news was good news, had never been more wrong.
He stretched as he stood tall, and walked in. Ruth and Melinda were at the dining table surrounded by small stacks of paper.
"Don't look so somber, Hoss," Melinda offered with a warm smile. "I saw the telegram." She asked Hop Sing to bring coffee and food for Hoss, before she and Ruth joined him in front of the hearth.
"It's good to see you again." Ruth smiled shyly. "You must be tired. That was a lot of traveling in two days."
"Yes'm," Hoss replied as he took a cup from the tray Hop Sing brought in. "I just wish I had better news."
"Tell us about it." Melinda sounded calm, but she had to fold her hands in her lap to keep them from shaking.
"Roy and I talked to the county sheriff first. He told us them boys have a hard life. They only got a little schoolin' and then were kept home to work. Things got bad after their ma died, and worse when the father remarried.
Ruth's voice was timid. "Are you saying you felt sorry for them?"
"I feel bad for any kids who ain't got decent parents. And maybe them who get pushed around at home do the same thing to others. It's like they's fightin' back—but against the wrong people. Then again, them two made a decision to hurt someone, and that ain't never right."
Melinda nodded. "I've seen the same thing, Hoss. Bullies were usually bullied by someone else first. It seems you had a good understanding of what you were up against, so how did you approach them?"
"Roy and me decided that we'd have to stay calm and ask questions rather than make accusations. Them boys haven't had much experience with decent folk, and we figured they'd throw up a wall if we acted like the other adults in their life. Roy did the talkin' and I watched their reactions for the truth of their words." Hoss stopped; looked down at his feet and moved his head from side to side. "I'll tell you this fer sure; they didn't know what Roy was talkin' about when he asked where they'd taken AJ and Elizabeth after finding them tryin' to hide. They kept saying how AJ had called them stupid and acted so high and mighty that they took 'em to the lake to teach a lesson, but that was all they did. Two things happened then. Roy told them that he knew they were lyin' about Jamie and the Starkes being willingly involved, and they admitted it."
"What was the second thing?" Ruth asked.
"Roy told them that he understood that things had gotten out of hand, and that they'd panicked when they saw the little ones afterwards, and he could see as how they must'a felt they had to get rid of them. He said all we wanted to know was where the kids was so the parents could bury them proper." Hoss looked at the two women, his face in a mournful grimace. "Hearin' Roy say that nearly did me in; and it had the same effect on them boys. The one started cryin' and the other got so white he looked ready to pass out." He stopped for a deep breath. "They said they saw the boat overturned; figgered AJ and Lizzy had fallen out and drowned, and left right then to get a head start for California before anyone found out the kids were dead or that Jamie got shot."
Melinda paled as she asked, "Did you believe that?"
Hoss nodded. "They's bullies, and they did a horrible thing to AJ and Lizzy, but they ain't murderers just yet. Roy's fatherly questionin' even got them to admit that they'd gone too far. They hadn't meant for the kids to drown, and it scared 'em that things got so out of control."
"What did they think would happen when they tied two young children in a boat?" Ruth asked as he mouth hung open in disbelief.
"They figured they'd sit still until they came back." Hoss held back the part where they'd said that it was Lizzy's fault for getting so upset about a couple of worms.
"What will Adam do now?" Melinda asked with a shaky sigh. "His hope was tied to answers that aren't coming."
"Adam told me how you said maybe AJ and Lizzy were getting sick since they was with Abigail's now we'll extend the search in case AJ was too sick to know where he was goin'."
"Did Adam say when he'd be coming home?
He shook his head. "I know he's real sorry for not bein' with you, but you know how he is." Hoss saw the brief, knowing smile cross Melinda's face as he walked to the stairs.
"Thank you for your honesty, Hoss," Melinda said softly. "Where are you headed now?"
"I'm gonna change and go out to the herd in the near pasture. One of the men was in the yard when I got here, and said a couple of them new steers I raised are sick lookin', and they'd like me to check on 'em. I got a pretty good idea they got at some locoweed that's comin' out with the rain we had. But then I'll go to the lake."
The living area was empty when Hoss came down, making him wonder where the two women had gone. He made a detour through the kitchen to ask Hop Sing to get a meal out to the search group toward evening, and found him already making preparations.
He stopped short when he exited the back door and saw Ruth with her head resting on her arms atop one of the corral posts. She was silent, but the way her shoulders were moving indicated she was crying. Lending a hand when his brothers were hurting came second nature, but he'd never been comfortable around women displaying emotions. He put his fears aside, moving up behind her, and gently turned her towards him. "It takes a special kind of person to feel the pain of others," he said quietly.
She nodded against his chest and then looked up at him with a teary smile. "What you just said, Hoss; I think it's true of you too. I can see how much you feel Adam and Melinda's pain, and how much you love those children." A few more tears tumbled down her cheeks. "I've never met them, and yet my heart is breaking."
"I know." Hoss nodded toward the house. "How's Melinda doin'? I didn't see her inside."
"She asked to be alone, and went to her room. She's a very stoic woman, but I have no doubt she's crying her soul out in tears and prayers."
Hoss loosened his hold but didn't let her go. He knew it wasn't the time for such feelings to distract him, yet it felt so natural with her in his arms. "It sure was nice of you to come with Melinda. She seems to be gettin' better real fast."
"She wanted to be here, and she fought hard to get strong enough to do that." She gave Hoss a small smile. "I'll have to sit on her soon if I want her to rest."
"I 'spect yer right about that, ma'am." He breathed in the scent of her hair, and finally took a step away. "What're you two doin' with all them papers on the table?"
'Melinda wanted to keep her mind off what she can't do anything about, so we started working on my book. She rests when she's tired, but concentrating on something else does help pass the time."
Hoss reached for Ruth's hand. "I wish things was different and I could show you around some."
"Dr. Martin's taking Melinda's stitches out tomorrow, and we'll come out to the lake as soon after that as we can." She continued holding Hoss's hand. There was strength and surety in his grip, and she was growing tired of being strong on her own. "It's hard to believe that Melinda was shot, and the children went missing nearly a week ago." She didn't need to say more. They all had mental clocks ticking off the minutes, reducing the likelihood that AJ and Elizabeth would be found alive.
Twelve
"Everything looks fine, Melinda." The opinion came from Paul Martin after he removed the last stitch from his patient. He noted the expectant look reflecting back at him, and added, "I'd still rest another day to let that incision settle down after being prodded and poked. Then hold a pillow to your stomach for a little extra support when your wagon hits holes in the road. But—," and he gave her a wink and a brief chuckle—, "you should hold together fine."
Paul waited until Melinda looked at Ruth to glance at something he'd noticed when he'd first examined her in the train. What he saw was enough to confirm his suspicion. "Did they do a full exam when you were in the hospital?" he asked as he casually pressed along her abdomen, just below her navel.
Melinda shrugged. "I don't remember anything at first, but we left there pretty fast and they were mostly concerned about the surgical area. Why do you ask?" A worried look hooded her eyes.
Paul figured that with all that was going on, this was not the time to introduce another worry. "I'll do a better exam before you head for home just to make sure you're good for the trip. You can get dressed now. Do a little more each day until you feel like yourself again."
Ruth laid Melinda's dress on the bed. "I'll walk Dr. Martin to the door while you get ready."
When the two of them were far enough from the house that they wouldn't be overheard, Paul said, "The hospital reported a sizeable blood loss. Tell me more about that."
Ruth quickly explained the sequence of events and the information the doctor had shared, and then asked, "Is there something bothering you?"
"Did they give her ether for the surgery or strong pain medications afterwards?"
"The surgeon said they'd used 'just enough' ether to keep her still, since she was already unconscious. She slept afterwards, and Melinda said she wasn't in much pain once she was awake. She refused anything after she heard about the children, saying she needed to stay clear-headed." She examined Paul's face for tells. "You didn't answer me. Is something else wrong with Melinda?"
Paul forced a smile. "I wanted to be sure of her treatment in San Francisco…you know…" he stuttered, "to make sure that the hospital hadn't forgotten to note anything. But you've confirmed the accuracy."
Melinda was already by the table when Ruth came back inside. She looked up and smiled. "Since I have to stay home another day, we might as well get as far as we can with these edits. We've gone over all the points on the first section of the book, and I'll make the grammar changes later. Let's move on to the attack on the Bannock."
Ruth hurried to the chair next to her editor. "Are you sure you're up to this? We've been working nonstop. You should take a little time for yourself."
"If I…take time…" She hesitated while fighting to maintain control. "I won't be able to stop the avalanche of emotions in my heart. That will serve no purpose. I've prayed and will keep doing that, but right now I need you to help me keep my mind busy." Melinda grasped Ruth's hand and said, "Thank you for everything you've done so far. I would be a wreck if I you weren't here."
"It has been my pleasure to help, although I wish the circumstances were different," Ruth replied. "So…what's next?"
"You say men…white hunters, came on the Bannock party you were with at daybreak, demanding the pelts you and your people had prepared. When the Bannock refused, these men shot the braves before they could get to their weapons, and then either shot or stabbed the women and children as they tried to help their men? Did you know at first why didn't they kill you?"
Ruth's smile turned to a deep frown accompanied by a sad laugh. "They would have had to have been blind if they couldn't tell I wasn't a Bannock. All but two of those hunters left once they had our meat and pelts, but two of them stayed behind, claiming me as their spoils. They seemed very proud of themselves for 'rescuing' me from the heathens. But then they said there was a price to pay for their help, and they meant to collect." Her eyes welled with tears. "I was surrounded by the dead bodies of my people and they were acting like I should be happy about it."
"I assume their desired method of payment was…physical," Melinda said bluntly as she took Ruth's hand again.
Tears began rolling down her cheeks as she whispered, "I've never told anyone the whole truth."
"I read your carefully chosen words about what they did to you, and suspected there was more to it."
"Does…Adam…suspect?"
"He knew you'd killed them in self-defense, but he didn't understand how much more you were defending." She hesitating before asking, "Would you like to talk about it?"
Ruth remained looking down, and shook her head slowly. "I've kept this to myself for so long, it seems almost impossible to put into words. One day I will tell you everything, because I trust you. For now we'll leave it at self-defense, because it really was. I heard those men talking about how they'd either kill me or take me along to be their woman…if I was any good. I don't know what they expected from me." She raised her head and smiled sheepishly. "But I don't think it was that I'd be skilled with a knife." After a pause, she added, "I couldn't go to the Bannock because they'd have wondered why I was still alive when the rest of those I'd been with were dead, so I ran, and hid on that mountain." Her sigh was long, ending with a groan. "Please don't tell Adam what you suspect. I came closest to telling him what really happened, but I have always thought that what befell me that day was my fault. As much as I had come to trust him, I still shrank from his touch when I wasn't expecting it."
"I assume you haven't married because those memories are still too strong?"
A nod. "I have tried to forget, but I still freeze when men become even mildly affectionate. They've accused me of being cold, selfish, and a tease. I finally gave up." A last tear ran down Ruth's cheek. "Sometimes I wish those men had killed me instead of leaving this invisible scar." She sat up abruptly as she remembered something. "Except…"
"Except what?"
"I was by the corral yesterday, so deep in thought about what we'd just heard about those boys in Sacramento, that I didn't hear Hoss coming. I wasn't expecting it when he pulled me into a hug, but I didn't tense up or pull away from him. I've never met a person who made me feel completely safe and comfortable like he does." She smiled sadly. "Yet it's not the time to be considering such things."
Melinda smiled. "I know these are the worst of circumstances, but that doesn't mean you should deny what you're feeling. Hoss needs someone like you as much as you need him. I've seen his face when he looks at you. He is smitten."
Thirteen
She pulled her shall tighter across her shoulders and smiled at Ruth. They were sharing the back bench of the surrey on their way to the lake. It was a beautiful, warm Sunday morning, but Melinda felt chilled to the bone. She'd followed every order her doctors had given her, and wouldn't wait any longer to venture out. The sun shown on her face, and the air moving around her wasn't chilly, yet she wrapped up even tighter as fear gnawed at her soul, whispering that her visit to the lake might end with joining Adam in saying goodbye. Their children had disappeared eight days ago, and it was time to face the facts gleaned from the searches…and make some decisions.
Despite her fear, she felt butterflies in her stomach at the thought of seeing Adam. She'd felt the first such flutter when she'd visited the Stoddard house with her aunt over 20-years ago, and met Abel's handsome young grandson…and then watched as he'd tumbled off a ladder and gotten badly hurt. The same feeling of excitement still reappeared every time she'd see him after being apart. She'd wondered at first if he experienced a similar feeling about her, but she'd soon realized that each time Adam had held her, whether apart a few hours or a few days, he'd sighed into a soft moan as he'd pull her close. That part of his greeting had never stopped.
Ruth took Melinda's hand, and released it after a tight squeeze. There'd been small talk at the beginning of the ride, but they'd silenced, each letting their thoughts drift in preparation. Melinda had sent a note with Hop Sing the night before, alerting Adam to their planned visit. Then she'd convinced Orville, an older ranch hand who kept up the yard and buildings, to drive them out this morning.
Orville pulled the wagon to a stop as they entered the valley created by the tree-covered slopes to the left and right, and turned back towards his passengers. "Straight ahead there is where it all started, Mrs. Cartwright. I heard that the men are searchin' quite a ways from there now, but I'll drop you off by the lake and take the wagon out to look for them. I'd let you ride along, but that road is purdy rough.
He helped the ladies out when he'd gotten to the lake, and was returning to the driver's seat when he said, "There's a rider comin' already," and pointed towards the woods. Hop Sing sent sweets for the men, so I'll take those on down and be back in an hour or two."
Melinda pulled her dress into place as she looked where Orville had pointed. She groaned quietly as the slightly snug bodice finally aligned with the front of the skirt, and muttered, "Between all the eating I've done on this vacation, and the orders to eat more to recover, I've gained weight."
She shielded her eyes to see better. "Looks like two riders Ruth. I recognize Adam's build, and by the tall hat on the other, it's Hoss. It'll be a bit before they get here, so I'm going to look around." Her head spun as she turned towards the lake and saw "the boat" off to the side. She took a deep breath; let the wooziness pass, and walked to it, reaching down to feel the rough shell. When she looked back up at the vast lake, she whispered, "Are you in there, my loves?" The tears she'd held back for so long began to roll down her cheeks as she walked to the shore. Her silent tears turned to sobs when she looked down and saw the boot, hair ribbon, bonnet, and apron sitting in a small pan near her feet. She carried the container back to the overturned boat and sat, turning each item in her hand before holding it to her cheek.
Ruth didn't want to intrude, but saw the tears. She sat next to her friend. "Are they Lizzy's?"
Melinda nodded. She began to tremble. "I thought I might feel her when I held these: like how her breath felt against my cheek before she'd kiss me, or how warm she'd feel when I hugged her after she'd been playing outside. I remember her excitement the day my mother gave her this pretty hat, and I can see her twirling around in the apron to show Adam how it 'flied'. But all I feel is loss." She looked deeply at Ruth. "You've heard the same reports I have. Do you think this is all I've left of them?"
"The memories of your children are a blessing, Melinda. You know how happy Lizzy was at those moments, and you have similar memories of AJ. The sadness you're feeling comes from the unknown, so let's wait for Adam and Hoss before getting too far down that dark road."
"I'd wondered why these searches have gone on so long." The grieving mother moved her arm in a sweeping gesture. "I didn't understand until now that I see the size of this area. It is beautiful…and endless.
Ruth's quick glance over her shoulder confirmed that Adam and Hoss were getting close. "Where's your hanky?" She took it from Melinda and used it to dry her friend's tears. "Those two must be feeling just as sad. Let's give them a happy welcome."
The tears were dried and the women were smiling by the time the two men dismounted and left their horses to nibble on the only grass that hadn't been eaten or trampled during the week of the search.
Adam ran to his wife, holding her gently to kiss her.
Melinda smiled as she heard a small moan when he tightened the embrace. She brushed the dust from his bearded cheeks and lips, and chuckled. "You need a bath mister." She used her damp hanky to remove the grit Adam had transferred to her lips with his greeting. "Is this what it's like kissing a cowboy?"
"I don't know." He winked. "I've never kissed a cowboy." He dropped his hands to her waist and gave her a once over exam. "You look good. There's even color in your cheeks."
"My pink cheeks were produced yesterday. We've been editing Ruth's book—mostly to keep me from grabbing a horse and riding out here—and we worked at the outside table.
"I'm thankful…and pleased that you followed everyone's advice to rest and recover." He nodded at the items on the boat. "I see you found those."
She took his hand and led him over to sit. "Now that I can see where it happened, I'd like you to walk me through everything from the beginning. I couldn't picture it before."
Hoss called, "I'm gonna show Ruth around," over his shoulder as the couple walked away.
Melinda smiled. "She likes him very much. What's even better is that she trusts him."
Adam nodded. "Hoss talked non-stop about her since he's been back. He kept apologizing for it, so I finally told him that seeing him excited and happy helped me too."
It took a while to cover the sequence of events for Melinda. He walked her along the shore to show her where they'd found the footprints, and the area where they'd originally thought the children had exited. He took her back to the boat as she began to puff with effort at the distance of their exploration. "Hoss's news from Sacramento has pretty much put an end to every theory we'd had."
"But you're still looking."
"No one wants to give up." His sigh was long and loud. "But we've ridden every area several times and have found nothing."
"It seems all you've found is what isn't there."
He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her tight against him. "That's about right." He pointed to the horizon with his free arm. "It would seem impossible to distinguish one thing from the next out there, but it isn't hard, especially here. These tress are nearest to the house, and therefore nearest the roads leading to Virginia City and Carson. It made sense for Pa to harvest this timber first."
"It looks untouched!"
"That's because we never clear-cut, and we replace what we take with young trees. There's good reasoning to that. Without active roots in place, the hillsides would have eroded and become barren. We harvested this area over twenty years ago, and nothing has disturbed these hills since then. Fallen pine needles have covered the ground like a carpet that would have been roughed up if AJ and Lizzy had walked through."
"Don't people come through here?" she asked. "Maybe someone saw something."
"We put this road in when we started logging as a way to get timber out by wagon. It stops at the far end at a narrow pass through the Sierras that's too narrow for any more than a person with a horse. Hunters and trappers use that passage on occasion. There are few narrow lanes going off the road between here and the pass, leading to small farms like the Starke's, but they're only used for lake access." Melinda nodded as she gazed out at the distance. "There's something else, you don't realize out here," he added. "The perspective is off in these wide-open spaces. It seems like these hills end a short distance from here, but they actually go on for miles. We would have caught up to AJ and Lizzy, even if they had gone the wrong direction. We've done an organized search, so even if we missed clues, someone should have found them somewhere." He sighed heavily.
"So who made those prints in the lake?"
"Maybe a family that stopped for a picnic and fishing. That muck on the edge of the lake could have stayed undisturbed for some time."
Her voice dropped to a whisper. "So is it over then? Do we mourn now rather than search?"
"I'm sending the men back tonight. I'll still go over each idea, and look again. But…"
"But," she interrupted, knowing the difficulty he was having, "there is no evidence that our children made it out of the lake. How soon might we know that for sure?"
"Hard to say; they might never be found. Tahoe does not easily give up its dead." Adam laid his head atop Melinda's as their tears flowed silently.
When he could control his emotions again, he lifted her chin. "I've faced so much death in my life, but this…."
Melinda nodded, before releasing a hiccupping sob. The tears ended in silence as she stood, took Adam's hand and walked toward the lake. They remained hand-in-hand, contemplating their loss. "I'm not ready to say goodbye just yet," she finally told him. "We'll wait until you finish your final search or see if their…." She swallowed hard as she imagined what she was trying to say, and Adam held her tighter. She mouthed a silent "o". "We have to let Abel and my parents know."
"I didn't want them to worry, but I knew Abel would be angrier if I didn't tell him what was happening. I sent a telegram right away, and Jamie wired an update yesterday. I asked Abel to contact your parents. Margaret won't like that I didn't tell them directly, but I'm not sure where they are. She'd mentioned visiting your sister."
"Thank you. I wouldn't have known what to say." Silence resumed as they continued staring at the lake's horizon.
"I wish I was stronger, Adam!" Melinda cried unexpectedly, falling to her knees as a keening wail forced its way from her broken heart. "People are going to say this was God's will," she said between breathless sobs. "But it wasn't. It was the will of two angry teenagers who couldn't handle a little girl catching more fish or an intelligent little boy. How could they hurt them for such petty reasons! If they died here, Lizzy left this world screaming in fear while AJ tried his best to help." She clung to Adam as he sunk down next to her. "How do we leave this place and go on with that as our last memory of them?"
He drew her near, kissing her hair and wiping her tears away with his thumbs. "You're feeling the sharpest point of your pain now that you're where this took place. Seeing the lake; the boat and Lizzy's things, hits like an axe in full swing, cutting you off at the knees. I promise we'll get through this…together, one step at a time."
She nodded, unable to speak as the vision of her children in that boat continued to beat at her mind, making her want to both cling to it and burn it to ashes.
Adam pulled her up and relocated to a grassy spot near a tree where he could lean back as he held her. He caressed her hair as he rocked her, knowing full-well the demons that were whispering in her heart. They were surely telling her to curse the Almighty for taking away what she loved most, and to abandon faith in His goodness. There were no words of consolation he could speak to penetrate the darkness she felt. He knew this because it was what he'd been feeling for seven days. There were moments of peace and heavenly connections, but most of his time had been spent shouting at God for this latest assault on his soul. "How?" had become his mantra. How could a good and gracious God allow those thugs to hurt his innocent children? How could he look down with the ability to save them, and refuse to be moved?
The answer had settled when he'd seen Melinda begin to struggle with the same questions. It was because he was God, and his purpose was not yet known. Would this change the lives of the two boys who had set his children's death in motion? Would it deepen his faith and perhaps set him on a path to help children who were like those boys, before it was too late to change? It was too much to ponder, so he hummed a lullaby he'd always sung to his children, and clung to Melinda so tightly that they appeared to be one person instead of two.
When her crying eased, he lifted her chin. "I know this won't make a great deal of sense just yet, but it came to me while I've been struggling. Thomas Aquinas wrote to a friend experiencing a loss, saying that tears are the blood that flows from a heart pierced by loss. In time we'll understand that our children's love is eternal. It abides in a treasury, hidden with God, and it will always be there for us."5
The couple had lost track of where Hoss and Ruth had gone as they'd grieved, but Adam saw his brother running towards them when he glanced up.
Hoss was pointing in the distance as he made it to them. "Joe's bringin' the men here, Adam, and if ya look the other direction, I think Pa's riding in with the men from the herd."
"What's going on?" Adam rose, helping Melinda up.
"I don't know, but I thought you might want to, uh, get ready before they get here."
Ruth had gone to the lake to wet her handkerchief, offering it to Melinda. "This will take some of the redness away from your face."
By the time the two groups arrived, Melinda and Adam managed to stow their grief and walk over to greet them.
To his son's questioning look, Ben grasped Adam's shoulder and said, "Hop Sing sent word that Melinda was coming out here today. We were close by, so I had Al ride over to let Joe that we'd all meet here with you."
Adam's face puckered like a dry apple. "I still don't understand."
"It's Sunday. One of our hands spent a year in divinity school and always holds a short service for us when we're all together. The men suggested we do it here to show their support." He motioned one of the hands over. "This is Fleet, but on Sundays, we call him, Reverend."
Adam and Melinda shook Fleet's hand and thanked him for his idea, and then motioned the rest of the group to join them.
Ben moved the couple aside while the hands got themselves settled for the service. "Hoss told me you're going to let your riders go and search alone."
Adam nodded. "I know the ranch work is lagging and I don't want you to fall too far behind."
"I appreciate that, but there are more important things than the herd. You'll have help for as long as you need it." He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "And if it comes down to the one possibility; I know a captain who runs a salvage ship out of the San Francisco harbor. He uses a diving apparatus to send men underwater to recover the goods from vessels that have sunk in the shallows near the bay. He can't reach the limits of Tahoe, but his men could check the drop-offs."
"Thanks, Pa." Adam's emotions felt raw again, and he couldn't speak further. He looked toward Melinda who smiled understandingly.
She indicated the waiting group. "It looks like they're ready to start. This was a wonderful idea. Thank you, Ben."
Melinda looked around at the Ponderosa hands as they prayed and realized that the faith among these men was as rugged and sincere as they were. They were all focused on the words the Revered was saying about the goodness of God, and how he was a sure and strong anchor during the worst times. These words bounced from her heart without penetrating. Her faith was strong; she was just too overcome with sadness to accept words of promise right now.
The message ended with a recitation of the 8th Psalm, praising God for his mighty creation. This was something Melinda could accept despite the circumstances. She looked around in awe, praising the creator who had made the beautiful mirror-like lake that reflected the passing clouds and the shadows of the trees high above. As she turned to see the green hillsides, she saw something that startled her. She nudged Adam and whispered. "I thought you said no one comes from that direction." She nodded toward the west. "It looks like a man with a couple of horses."
He took a quick look, and leaned closer so as not to disturb those around them. "He must have come through the pass with just his horses."
She turned her attention back to the group, and smiled at Ruth, receiving a similar gesture from her friend.
Adam leaned over again. "I've never attended a service I've appreciated more than this."
"It is moving," Melinda replied as Fleet motioned for everyone to rise.
"Let us remember the one who saved us all by giving his life for our sins. We are together today by his plan, because nothing happens by accident. We trust that Adam Junior and his sister, Elizabeth, are under your protection and safe in your love. Please give us peace and surety as we continue to search, and the strength to face whatever the outcome."
Melinda glanced back, unwilling yet to imagine her children in God's kingdom. She noted that the passing traveler had disappeared from view, and sighed quietly. She jumped as Fleet ended his closing prayer, and a booming voice rang out from behind them.
"I hate to disturb this lovely gatherin', but I need to know if this land is still owned by Ben Cartwright."
Ben stood and walked over to the stranger. "I'm Ben Cartwright…" He stopped to examine the bearded man in buckskin, and broke into a smile. "John? Is it really you?"
The two men pumped hands as the one named John, said, "I'd have recognized you anywhere, Ben."
The trail hands had moved away with the completed service, and the rest of the Cartwrights assembled by the two old friends.
"I certainly want to know what you've been doing all these years, but you've come at an unfortunate time. We're in the middle of a family emergency."
"I heard the prayer for AJ and LIzzy, and…." he started to laugh.
Adam's face dove into a frown. "I fail to see what's so funny about the prayers for…." He stopped. "How do you know they go by those nicknames?"
"What's funny, is that sometimes prayers are answered instantly." Everyone stared at him with open mouths. "If you look under that blanket on the travois behind my pack horse, you might understand better."
Adam and Melinda stood where they were, unsure of what to do. But then they saw two arms stick out from the top of the blanket and open in a stretch, while the voice of their son's muffled voice floated to their ears. "Stop kickin' me, Lizzy. I'm trying to sleep."
The couple walked over quietly to hear their daughter's response from under the cover. "We're stopped, AJ, and I have to go potty."
The reunion between parents and children dissolved into laughter and tears of joy. When their children went to see their uncles and grandpa, Adam pulled Melinda aside and kissed her before wrapping her in a bear hug. "I don't think I will ever be happier or more grateful than I am at this moment. I can't wait to hear the story of how these three got together, but right now, I just want to be happy." They returned to the group, grabbed their children again and began to figure out how to best head for home.
"Can't we stay put and hear this story first?" Ben asked.
"I think it's best we get those two home." John nodded towards Adam's children who suddenly looked played out and wobbly from the excitement. They've been very ill, and they'll get better faster in a good bed, with some good food, and their parents nearby." He grabbed Ben's shoulder and laughed. "Let's get to that lean-to I helped you build all those years ago; then we'll talk."
Adam and Melinda had ridden with their children and Ruth in the surrey, while the rest had gotten to the house on horseback. AJ and Lizzy had drifted to sleep on their parents' laps with a tangle of arms and legs keeping them all together in the small vehicle.
Once home, AJ and Lizzy had declared that they were tired of eating broth and wanted cookies and milk. Hop Sing soon brought a plate heaped with cookies and sweets to the table by the hearth, and followed that with pitchers of milk, lemonade and coffee. The restoration of Adam's family seemed to restore many other things; humor, calm, and appetites among them. The plate was quickly emptied and the excited cook replaced it with another one just as full.
As they ate, Ben introduced John, explaining how the younger version of the man had been trapping this area when he, Adam, and Hoss had first arrived. "If it weren't for John, or Trapper John as the boys called him, I wouldn't have been as successful getting and preserving good pelts, and our cabin wouldn't have been finished in time for our first winter."
Hoss smiled sheepishly. "I sort of remember you, sir. Not so much what you looked like, but you watchin' out for me while Pa worked, and tellin' me a lot about everythin'."
A grin spread across the oldest brother's face. "I think John's influence on you was a lot deeper that you think, Hoss." He looked around at the others. "Hoss was learning to talk when John was with us, and my younger brother picked up John's patterns of speech. It suited him. And between John and Pa's views of nature, Hoss found his initial love and respect for the land and animals."
Hoss's cheeks turned pink. "I'm not sure what Adam says is true, but iffen it is, then I owe you a debt of thanks, John."
Adam adjusted his position to let AJ curl up on his lap. "Where did you find the children, John? They must have gotten much farther away than we imagined."
"Let me set this up a little to help you understand how it came to pass." He looked around the great room of the Ponderosa. "You sure done well, Ben. This house is a might bigger than the first shanty you built. It seems fate smiled kindly on both of us. I went to California when I left your family, and tried my hand at trappin' the far side of the Sierras before decidin' to look for gold." He grinned. "I found some…actually a lot of it, and settled down some to run a mining business. Even found a nice woman who'd have me once I started takin' a bath and shavin' so I looked less like a bear. We had a son."
"I'm happy for you," Ben offered sincerely.
"I'm alone again, but don't be lookin' sad for me. The boy went east for school. I could afford a fancy school by then. John Jr.'s a doctor in Boston now," he nodded toward Adam, "which I heard from the little ones, is where they live too. Mary died two years ago and my son and his wife said to come East and live with them. I'm headed there, but I decided to visit some of the places I remembered fondly from my earlier life, on the way." He looked back to Ben. "About a week back, I crossed the Sierras by that pass I used last time, hopin' to find your place. Things looked familiar, and I was walkin' along the edge of the woods across from the same place you was all gathered today, when I saw a group'a kids ride up to the lake. I was about to go ask if they knew who owned this land, but stopped when I saw they had pulled two blindfolded children off a horse and were tyin' 'em up again in that old boat. I wanted to help, but I stayed put to see what was goin' on first. I could hear a little girl screaming when them boys rode away, and once they was outta sight, I ran. The girl had tumbled into the water pretty fast. The boy had gotten his hands loose, but then slipped and smacked his head when he went over the side…before gettin' his feet undone. I waded out to pull them closer to shore where I got them untied and upright."
Adam nodded, knowingly. "Did you walk them along the edge of the lake for a ways instead of going onshore there?"
"Yep. But first I shooed the horse away and let a few things behind to confuse them boys when they came back, and then we moved up the shore far enough to hear them talking. When they went back to check on the kids, I grabbed the two of them and ran to the woods."
"Where did you take them after that?" Melinda asked. "No one found signs of them anywhere."
"I wanted to take them home, but they couldn't tell me where that was."
"Were they afraid of you?" Melinda asked as she bent down to kiss Lizzy's cheek as she slept on her lap, holding the new doll Evangeline had sent with Adam.
"Tweren't that exactly. They was scared of everythin' right them. The boy said his name was AJ and his sister was Lizzy, but it was like he couldn't remember his last name, and kept repeatin' he was AJ over and over. When I asked where they lived, he said, Boston. Lizzy was burnin' up and frozen cold at the same time…and mute, until she sort of passed out. There was the beginnin' of a rash on her cheeks and arms, and she remained doggoned sick until a day ago when the fever broke."
"Did AJ have amnesia?" Hoss asked.
"He had a good bump on his noggin, but I don't think it was that. He was scared to death, and getting the same sickness as his sister."
John nodded towards AJ who was playing with his model stage. "That boy is a fighter. Even when he was burnin' up with fever and sick as a poisoned dog, he kept worryin' about his sister." He laughed. "But back to the story. I waited at the wood's edge, tryin' to decide what to do, but then there were a gunshot and them boys scattered. I had no idea what had started the whole thing; who'd been shot or how bad they wanted these little ones back. All I knowed for sure was that these two needed help and protectin'."
"We searched a mile or more of those west hills, so you had to have gone some distance with them," Adam said thoughtfully.
"I kept movin' along the edge of the tree line where the ground's always roughed up from the wind and rain and wouldn't show nothin' unusual. Movin on' I found where two sets of those boys had turned onto a path goin' over the hill. I'd seen that the last boy had gone the opposite direction. I figured to be shed'a them all then, but kept movin' until I recognized the creek we'd used for trappin' years ago, and headed upwards. Doggone if I didn't find your old cabin. The door hinges were rusted shut, but the inside was still better'n a tent woulda been. I built a fire, cleaned the place up a little, and managed to make the bed comfortable using pine boughs and blankets. It tweren't a palace like this," He indicated the room they were in, "and I got to tendin' the little ones."
"I'm surprised you didn't come to find us instead." Joe's tone held a heavy hint of judgment. "It sounds like they could have used a doctor."
"Might have done just that, had I known who, 'us' was. I didn't know why those boys had been trying to hurt those children. They might'a been kidnappers or worse. And by the time we got to the cabin, AJ was fevered too, and still not rememberin'. I couldn't leave them alone, and I sure wasn't takin' 'em back into some horror. Besides, I done a lot of doctorin' in my life and know a lot about natural ways to help with fevers and rashes."
Ruth had taken a seat off to the side, but spoke up in defense of this newcomer. "Doctor Martin mentioned those other children who were very ill as well. He said there wasn't much he could do but let the fever run its course."
"I remember you left behind some salves and elixirs years ago, John," Ben added. "We used those to treat our ailments until they were gone. They all worked well."
John's face brightened into a big smile. "Part of the reason I'm goin' to Boston is that my son, the doctor, has realized how well those same elixirs and salves worked, and wants me to teach him how to make them. He fancies himself a scientist now, so he wants to study them to see why they work. But he thinks we can make a business of it." He chuckled. "Wants to call 'em, McIntyre's Medicines."
"I think some of those old remedies work the best in illnesses like that," Ruth snuck in. "I'd like to hear more about that later."
"I'm sorry," Joe offered. "I'm protective of those kids, and I wasn't around when Pa and my brothers knew you."
"No harm done, young man. The time it took them to get better was makin' me a might jittery too, figurin' someone was missin' them, but I'd thrown in for the full dollar, and I wasn't about to take them out too soon." John chuckled before his face took on a serious look. "What I'd like ta know now is why them boys did it." He stared directly at Jamie, who'd sat on the stairs. "Ben introduced you as his son, so I have to wonder why you'd be out there tyin' the hands of your niece and nephew. That red, curly head'a hair kind'a sets you apart from others and I recognized you right off."
"I know it looked bad, but I can explain." Jamie said hastily, and gave a brief recap of the circumstances. "It makes me sick to even thing about it."
John nodded. "I believe you. AJ talked about 'Jamie' when his fever was worst. He kept repeating that they had to hide until Jamie found them, and mumbled about how he'd gotten the knot loose."
AJ sat up. "I did get it open, Jamie, just like you told me."
John smiled at AJ and then back at Jamie. "You should know that it was AJ getting' the rope loose and keeping Lizzy above water for an extra second or two that let me get to them in time."
Adam had AJ stand and then stood and stretched too. "I always knew something was missing as we searched for these two. All our theories made sense except for the fact that they weren't anywhere they should have been. We've been through a terrible week of worry while they were with you, John, but I have peace that they were in the best of hands. Thank you." He kissed his son's head and turned him around to see his face. "If you'd had to do it alone, son, how would you have gotten home from the lake.?"
AJ sniffed as he thought. "I'd have gone up and over the hill to avoid those boys. And then found the road northeast toward the house."
Adam looked at his father and allowed himself a moment of pride. "Well thought out, son. That's exactly what we thought you'd do." He looked again towards John. "There was true providence in you being there at the right time. It still makes me shaky to think what would have happened if you hadn't gotten to them when you did. We will always remember you with thanks."
Epilogue
Ruth walked out of the Western Union office reading her telegram and bumped into Melinda. "Well," she said with a laugh, "I guess I shouldn't walk and read, but at least I have my answer. If your offer still stands, I'll go to Boston with you, instead of back to San Francisco. We'll finish the book, and I'll accept John's offer to help with McIntyre's Medicines."
Melinda pulled Ruth into a hug. "Are you sure?"
"This wire confirms that my plans to open that clinic are over. The zoning was denied in favor of the larger project, and the Kims will continue their work with the Chinese at the hospital."
"Then we'll finish planning out trip," Melinda said as she smiled broadly. "I like John's suggestion to call the products you two develop, Ruth's Remedies! He said he'd forego his detour to his roots in Wisconsin, and travel to Boston with us if your plans allowed you to go."
Paul Martin saw the two women and crossed the street to catch them. "It's good to see you looking so well, Melinda." He bit his lip and sucked in a hissing breath. "I still need to do your physical exam before I release you to travel. Why don't you come to the office now and we'll get it done."
"Is that really necessary? The incision is fine; I'm fine. I promise to see my doctor as soon we get back." She gave him her most reassuring smile. When he failed to be swayed, she added, "I don't know where Adam is. He won't know where we are, and he'll start to worry."
Paul's words were issued with some force. "I saw Adam and Hoss up the block. It was he who told me you're just about ready to head home, and I mentioned I needed to see you before that. He said they'll come to my office when they're finished." He bowed, and smiled. "Shall we go then?"
"Would you leave us now, Ruth. I need to speak privately with Melinda," Paul said as he helped his patient sit up. "Thank you for your help." He moved to open the door to the outer office.
"I'm pretty sure Adam and Hoss are out on the porch," Ruth noted. "I'll keep them company." She squeezed Melinda's hand and draped a blanket around her shoulders to cover the thin gown she'd donned.
"You're being so mysterious, Paul." Melinda eyed the doctor with concern once they were alone. "You're frightening me."
"I don't mean to. I noticed something during my original exam, and I needed to be certain of it before you left on a week-long train trip." Paul pulled a chair over; helped Melinda to it, and got another for himself. "Have you noticed some weight gain recently?"
Melinda's cheeks fired red. "I didn't think it was that noticeable," she stammered. "I'll take it off when I get home. I wanted to cut back but Adam prohibited it until I recovered completely."
"I'm sorry," Paul chuckled. "That wasn't a judgment about how you look. I asked because I couldn't tell. And don't worry about taking it off any time soon."
Adam listened to Ruth's brief, unrevealing report and headed inside to pace Paul's office. He was about to storm the exam room when the door opened and Paul told him to go in.
He closed the door quietly behind him, and knelt in front of his wife, observing her flushed cheeks and sheepish smile. "What did Paul say?"
"He says I'm getting fat, and will continue to do so."
Adam reared back as his eyes flew open. "You told me you'd gained a few pounds, but why would Paul mention it?" He watched in horror as Melinda began to laugh and cry at the same time, and held her close. "Please tell me what's wrong."
Tears continued to wet her face as she chuckled. "There's a good reason I've been so emotional lately."
Adam's head moved side-to-side. "I agree you've been a little, um…." He let his observation about her changing moods evaporate, and asked, "Are you ill?" instead.
"It's a condition. Paul worries that I'm on the old side to be going through this, but he also says I'm as healthy as many 20-year olds he cares for in the same circumstances. The most disturbing thing to him is that I lost a lot of blood and was given ether. That could cause problems we won't know about until…."
His grip tightened around her. "Until what?"
"The baby arrives."
He shot to his feet, looking down at her, and then pulled her up into his arms. "A baby? You're going to have a baby?" He shook his head and then started to laugh. "I really should have known. You're moods were just as changeable when you carried AJ and Lizzy."
"I hate to admit it, but that's true."
"What made Paul think you were pregnant?"
"He noticed that my abdomen seemed, um, rounder than normal, on the day I arrived from San Francisco, but he didn't want to prod and poke just then. He confirmed it today, and admits he's nervous about a miscarriage. He's glad Ruth is traveling with us to Boston. He'll go through everything she should watch for and do if it happens." She wiped away the single tear that had escaped down Adam's cheek. "But if this little girl stayed put through everything we've been through in the last two weeks, she won't give up now."
"A baby," He breathed into her hair. "The other day I said I didn't think I could be happier, but I was wrong." He stepped back, holding her hands. "You had no idea?"
"I've noticed some nausea, but put it off to other things that seemed reasonable. Paul says it's also hard for me to put the signs together because I have no indications that anything is different. I've never been 'regular' so there is no absence of my monthly time to make me suspicious."
"That makes sense." He grinned widely. "He'll have a great brother and sister, a wonderful home, and a very old father." He laughed as pulled her close and a soft moan slipped from his lips.
The last days before Adam and his family planned to leave were filled with celebrations and a few more surprises.
The first was Hoss's decision to go to Boston too so he and Ruth could get to know each other better. He'd privately told his father and brothers that he, planned to marry Ruth Halversen, and wasn't "lettin' her outa his sight until she said yes."
The second came after a knock on the door while the family was having breakfast. Adam left the table and greeted the woman standing outside. "May I help you?"
"My name's Marigold Starke. It's my sons and nephews that were with your children on the day…."
Adam saw her face crumble as she tried to control her emotions. "What brings you here, Mrs. Starke?"
"I just got back from Sacramento and wanted to talk to you before you left for Boston. I wasn't around during the search because I went after my brother once I knew what his boys had done."
"Would you come in?" he asked with a smile.
"I'd prefer to speak privately."
Adam noticed her wagon in the yard when he went outside, and that two males were sitting in the rear with their backs towards him. "Are those your boys?"
"Those are the two who started the trouble."
Adam's head snapped as though he'd been slapped. "Why did you bring them here?"
"I went to Sacramento to have a needed talk with my brother. Something went wrong when he lost his wife and he pretty much let those two fend for themselves. They haven't been to school, so they get flustered easily when there's anyone around who knows more than they do. They bully people and think by acting tough, others won't notice their shortcomings." She smiled sadly. "At least that's how I see it. Those two haven't had manners taught to them, and they don't know how to handle their feelings. It's put them on a road that will offer no redemption if it continues."
"What do you want from us, forgiveness?"
"If you're willing. But mostly I want them to face up to what they did. I'd like them to apologize to your children, Mr. Cartwright. I already took them to see Sheriff Coffee. He says he can arrest them for kidnapping and assault if you want that, but for now, I have custody of them. Dan and I got guardianship, and we're going to raise them now. I'll do lessons with them since they're too old for school, and they'll work their tails off for us so they stay out of trouble. But that's only if you're willing to allow that instead of them going to prison."
Adam walked over and leaned against the wagon to stare at the boys. "I've got one question that will make up my mind as to what to do with you. Why did you risk the lives of my children over some fish?"
Jeb pulled onto his knees to face his accuser, and spoke in a soft voice. "We were mad at everything and everyone." His brother nodded, and Jeb continued, "Everything at Aunt M's place was so different than what we'd ever knowed. Their kids were happy, and they were always getting' told how much they's cared about. And then there was us. Nobody never treated us as more'n a horse pile; something they needed to clean off their shoes. Yer kids were happy too, and smart as anythin', and it was like something inside me boiled over. Gerry got sucked in too, and I thought we'd feel a whole lot better if we made those kids feel as bad as we do all the time. But when we found that boat in the water, well like we told that big guy that came to Sacramento; we ain't never been more scared or sorrier for anything in our lives."
Adam shook his head. "My second question is; how have you changed because of what you did?"
Both boys shrugged. "I don't feel mad since Aunt M brought us back," Jeb confessed. "It ain't easy, but we ain't never felt wanted before."
Gerry looked away. "I don't never want to feel that way again, Mr. I still can't sleep for dreamin' about your little girl hollerin'. I don't want to be like that."
"Wait here. I'll speak to my wife and children. Our faith lets us forgive, but they might be having trouble forgetting what they went through just yet."
The family had waited at the table to find out what was going on, and stared open-mouthed, as Adam explained the situation. "I think the Starke's are going to do the best thing possible for those boys. They need discipline, but they need to feel that they're accountable to others too. A good family will do that."
Melinda joined her husband, pulling him aside. "I agree, but I don't know about Lizzy and AJ seeing them."
Adam remembered their first nights back when they'd pulled mattresses on the floor and kept the whole family together in one bedroom so AJ and Lizzy felt safe. Lizzy seemed to be moving on more easily, but the weight of his responsibility for his sister's ordeal was still crushing AJ. He'd told his parents that he'd pushed the situation too far, and caused more trouble instead of stopping it.
Both parents had reassured him of how brave he'd been, but he'd failed to accept that, and his haunted look lifted only when there was something else holding his attention.
Adam and Melinda decided to leave the decision of confronting the boys up to their children. Both decided to face their tormenters. Adam was filled with both pride and fear as he walked them outside.
Lizzy ran over to the boys who'd were standing next to the wagon, staring at their feet. "My daddy says you hurt me because you were hurting inside too. Is that true?"
Jeb looked at Gerry, and then knelt down to Lizzy's eye level. "I think so." His brother knelt too. "We're sorry for what we did, and grateful you didn't drown like we thought," Jeb said sincerely.
She looked both Jeb and Gerry in the eyes and then said, "Don't you ever hurt anyone else. It's wrong, no matter how bad you feel." With that she turned away and ran back to the porch where Melinda was waiting.
AJ had moved to the corral, and Jeb joined him there once Lizzy left. There was no preamble as he blurted, "I was mad, like your sister said, but I was mostly jealous of you."
AJ glanced over and asked, "Why?"
"You's a smart kid; you knowed how to throw me, and you never backed down until we ganged up on you. I ain't never met a kid like you before." He looked down at his feet. "I want you to know that. I also hated you for the way you stood up for your sister. Our aunt is the first person who ever fought for us. It feels good."
"Would you have gone ahead with tying us in that boat if I hadn't laughed at you not knowing that word?" AJ asked, and then held his breath, waiting for the answer.
Gerry had joined them. He looked down, and shuffled his feet nervously, before looking up at his brother and mumbling, "Yeah, probably. Pa knocked us around for not watching our sister close enough when we were getting' ready to come that mornin'. She stepped in some manure, and he said we was worthless, and shouldn't bother comin' back. We was frothin' like rabid squirrels on the way to that lake. You was right when you said we was lookin' for a fight. You and yer sister was there; you were too small to really fight back, and we let our mad go on you."
"I'm sorry," AJ said quietly.
"Why're you sorry?" the brothers asked in unison.
"That you got hurt first. That wasn't right either. It makes me wish I'd known more about you."
Adam had stayed close enough to hear AJ's conversation, but moved to Melinda's side as AJ walked Jeb and Gerry back to the wagon. He reached for his wife's hand, leaned over and whispered, "He'll be all right now."
The engine was waiting on the tracks to push the Cartwrights to the cutoff for the eastbound train. It seemed half the town had turned out to make the departure into a sendoff. Adam made sure everyone heading with them to Boston was on board before going back to say goodbye to his father.
"Pa," he began, and then sighed. "I said some things I'm sorry about."
Ben chuckled as he embraced his son. "You weren't as far off as you might think. I did get a little overzealous about my newest son, and forgot some other extremely important people. That will never happen again." He chuckled. "You know…I loved being a father to you three, and I missed those times when you were all young, and needed me. Jamie brought those feelings back."
"I'll always need you, Pa," Adam said softly as he tightened the embrace. "I'm glad you're fathering another generation. It's the best I could wish for you or Jamie."
Adam hopped onto the crowed Pullman platform as the train began to pull away. Ben hollered, "Get Hoss back here in one piece!" before saluting his middle child, and calling, "Good luck, son."
The townspeople left once the smoke cleared and the car was out of sight, while Joe, Jamie, and Ben lingered. The older man pulled his two sons close, and said, "Let's go home."
The End
1Adam was taken by a woman who'd decided to find a cute, intelligent child for her own, in my story, In The Child's Best Interest.
2 Extradition between states in the U.S. didn't exist as we know it during this period of history. Criminals could move from state-to-state to avoid prosecution.
3From my story, Hunting for Memories
4 Paraphrased from excerpt of a letter from St. Thomas Aquinas to Sapida, a holy woman of the church, on the death of her brother.
5 John McIntyre is a character from my story, Hunting For Memories. He was trapper who found the Cartwrights shortly after they bought their first parcels of what would become the Ponderosa. He helped Ben build a lean-to where the house would eventually stand, and put a floor in the cabin they used in the high woods during the winter while Ben ran trap lines. They called him Trapper John, and his full-circle connection to the Cartwrights will come out in the next, final story of this series.
