A/N: Hello everyone!! Thank you to all who reviewed! You make me happy :)
11. Give Me a Revelation
I didn't see Aaron or Gavin for two weeks. It was the most miserable two weeks of my life. Gavin wasn't speaking to me, I wasn't speaking to Aaron, and I was that much further from falling in love.
I had confined myself to my room, and for the first few days, I wouldn't see anyone. Carolyn knocked on my door often. She had heard me crying that night and kept asking if I was okay. Eventually, I allowed her and Emily to come in, but I didn't speak much at all. There was so much I couldn't tell them. I had to figure it all out for myself.
Emily had come in bringing news of Gavin, who apparently just sulked around town. Evidently he hadn't told anyone what happened, because Emily kept asking me. Once her guesses became outrageous, I finally calmed her fears and told her we'd just had an argument and weren't speaking. Emily wasn't her usual gushing self around me, but I could tell it was hard for her. She kept telling me I could talk to her about anything, but I knew I couldn't do that. I needed to talk to Anna.
Five days into my self-inflicted misery sentence, a letter came from Anna that said she was going to come visit me three days before my birthday like she'd promised. That was exactly two weeks away. I began counting down the days to when I would see her. As the day got closer, my mood brightened. I started going into town, shopping with Emily. I even started talking to people. I spotted Gavin from a distance once, who at least acknowledged my existence by nodding. I returned it with a reticent wave. I still hadn't completely forgiven him for that night, but I was glad we didn't have to ignore each other.
I even started talking to boys again. After all, this was my last chance. Though I had lost the two most important men in my life, I couldn't ignore the inevitable. My birthday was coming up; I might as well make an attempt. Emily introduced me to an especially enthusiastic boy named Sam who worked at a vegetable stand. He was nice, but way too clingy. The three of us had lunch one day and when he asked to see me again, I told him I would think about it. Emily could see how hard it was for me, but at least I was trying.
A week before my birthday, another letter came. This one was from Aaron. And he wanted to talk. I'd actually received several letters from him over the past couple weeks, all containing the same thing, that he had something to tell me but he had to do it face to face. I hadn't been able to bring myself to face him yet, but then I figured I'd frozen him out long enough, and I was beginning to miss him. So, I wrote back and told him to meet me the next day at Peterson's.
On Sunday afternoon I walked to Peterson's quickly but nervously. I knew that if I slowed down I would change my mind. I told myself this was a good thing. No matter what problems Aaron had, he had always been a good friend, and the truth was, I missed spending time with him.
I entered the place and glanced around. I smiled as I spotted Aaron sitting at a table in the corner looking around nervously. Then a wave of guilt crashed over me as I realized he wasn't wearing his hat.
I slowly approached him and he stood when he saw me.
"H-hi Briden," he stammered. I was suddenly reminded of the day he told me he was from Bast. I had decided to trust him then, and I told myself that whatever he had to say to me, I would try my best to understand.
"Aaron, I just want to say I'm sorry," I said in a rush as we both sat down.
"No Bri. I'm the one who should apologize. You had every right to be angry."
"And you have the right to keep things to yourself."
"I want to be friends again."
I smiled. "Me too."
"And I want to tell you the truth, about everything." He shifted in his seat, looking around again. "But would it be okay if I waited to tell you at the ball?"
"The ball?"
His gaze met mine. "There's a ball on Friday," he said. "I was hoping you would go with me..."
"Oh." I had completely forgotten about the upcoming ball. I thought I would've noticed Emily talking about it, but I had been so oblivious to everything lately. I took a deep breath. Friday. That was the day before my birthday. I quickly pushed back the nagging truth, reminding myself that I was going to wait for Anna's arrival to discuss it. I refocused on the moment at hand. A ball with one of my best friends? It sounded fun. I smiled. I was so glad Aaron and I were friends again; I didn't even mind that he'd delayed telling me the truth once more. Aaron, however, looked doubtful. I realized I ought to answer him soon.
"I'd love to."
Aaron beamed. "Briden, you won't regret it. It will be the perfect night."
I leaned back in my chair. "Wow. A royal ball. What will I wear?"
"Whatever you want," he insisted.
I laughed. "Yeah, right... I'm sure Emily will find something for me."
Aaron leaned forward. "Whatever you wear will look great."
"Thanks." I sighed, feeling happier than I'd felt in weeks. "Will you walk me home?"
"Sure." Aaron stood.
I sighed with relief, so glad to have him back. "Thank you," I whispered.
"Thank you."
As we started to make our way out of Peterson's, I glanced around, and, to my dismay, saw Sam sitting at a far table. He saw me and waved, then made to stand up. Oh no. Not now. I'd had enough complications. Aaron and I had just made up; I didn't want Sam coming over here and undoing all that. I had to do something, quick. I glanced at Aaron behind me and had a crazy idea. I decided to go for it, because nothing else would come to me.
"Hey, Aaron—" He looked at me and I took his hand. I pulled him towards me and whispered into his ear. "Just go with me on this."
I tried to ignore the confused look on his face as I drew close to him, pulling his head down to mine. I stared into his clear blue eyes, wide with surprise. Then I felt his hands at my waist. I blushed. I had never been this close to him before. I decided to keep up the charade for a little longer, just to make sure I'd convinced Sam I was taken. I brushed the hair out of Aaron's face, and was surprised to feel my heart pounding. I pecked him on the cheek and then snuck an evasive glance at Sam. He had sat back down and was now staring at us, looking confused and hurt. I sighed, feeling bad for deceiving him. Then I stepped away from Aaron, taking his hand and pulling him out the door. Once we were outside, I burst out laughing.
"I'm sorry, Aaron," I said between giggles. I wasn't exactly sure why I was laughing. "I was trying to avoid someone."
He looked at me uncertainly, and I realized who he must be thinking of.
"Thanks for playing along," I added, hoping he wouldn't get mad at my strange behavior. Aaron always acted so polite around me. I hoped I hadn't crossed some line.
I relaxed when Aaron smiled and said, "What are friends for?" and we headed off through the square.
I felt strange walking back. My stomach was in knots, and my heart was racing. I told myself it was guilt for using Aaron. I chose to distract myself by asking him all about the upcoming ball.
By the time we reached the house, he had told me all about it, and I felt myself getting more and more excited.
"Wow," I sighed. "It sounds like it'll be a magical night." I turned around to face him and squealed, "I can't believe I'm going to a ball!"
"My lady." Aaron smiled, speaking in a rather proper tone of voice as he held out his hand.
I placed my hand in his and he twirled me around.
"I look forward to us meeting at the ball," he said.
I curtsied a little awkwardly and giggled. "Until then, kind sir."
Aaron laughed at my childish behavior. He let go of my hand and walked away, and I skipped down the stone path.
I made it all the way up to my room and collapsed on my bed before it hit me like a stagecoach.
I was in love with Aaron.
I sat up abruptly, gasping in shock. My jaw fell open in disbelief. Could it be?
It made sense. That's why I'd been miserable these past weeks; why I'd been so nervous when I'd kissed him. That's why my heart wouldn't slow after he touched me, and why I had just made a complete fool of myself in front of him. I couldn't believe it.
I hopped up from my bed, skipping around my room with joy. I found myself humming for the first time ever as I circled the room, my mind reeling. I went to the window and swung open the curtains, gazing out at the castle. I sighed. I couldn't wait for the ball.
The ball. Oh my gosh. It was just in time for my birthday.
I sat down in the window seat and waited for my heart to slow, but as it calmed, my mind went into overdrive. Wait. I loved Aaron, but that didn't necessarily mean he loved me. Sure, he had always treated me with kindness, but nothing special. Then I realized the truth. The kiss would only count if both persons were in love. Even if I asked him to kiss me, it wouldn't do any good because he didn't love me. Did he? No. When you love someone you don't keep secrets from them—unless they're top-secret fairy secrets, I told myself. No, Aaron didn't love me. I'd been on enough dates to be able to tell how much a boy liked me, and Aaron treated me just as a friend.
I shook my head. No. He didn't love me.
The truth of the matter was: life sucked without Aaron, I'd never known with such indelible certainty that I loved him, and to him I was just a very good friend.
I went over and sat on my bed as I tried to take it all in. I couldn't believe it. I had finally fallen in love. Aaron's clear blue eyes filled my mind, and that was all it took. Tears of joy ran down my face. I knew it. There was no doubt. I was absolutely in love. I smiled. Then the tears of joy changed to sorrowful ones.
Only the boy didn't love me back.
Now what was I supposed to do? But I knew the answer. The truth I had been trying so hard to ignore came rushing to the surface. I was going to go to the ball with the love of my life and have an amazing time. And when the clock struck midnight, I would die, happy and in love. It seemed like the perfect ending; perfect enough, anyway.
I lay back down, dizzy with the revelation. It was settled. I knew what I had to do, and that was that.
A/N: Don't forget to review please!!
