A/N: Okay so this was by far the hardest chapter for me yet. I don't know how many times I read through this and edited it, but I just had to post it already so I would stop. I really hope it turned out okay! :)
12. It's Not That Easy
Aaron crouched behind the low wall that bordered the castle's south garden, his mind preoccupied with thoughts of Briden. He sighed as he leaned against the stone. He didn't know why, but what he felt now had him in a daze.
He forced himself to focus, looking around to make sure the coast was clear. Besides the few people tending to the garden, no one was in sight. He guessed most of his usual guards were combing the trails for him—riding his horse across the surrounding acres was his typical method of escape when he wanted to be alone.
He took off across the lawn, ignoring the heads that turned as he passed—the news of his return would spread soon enough. He ran straight for the small gray door on the side of the massive castle. This door was rarely used, and the room even less. It led to a dim and dusty cellar, but what most people didn't know was that it connected with a staircase that led to the second floor. Aaron crossed the room and ascended the stairs with practiced agility, not making a sound. When he made it to the second floor, he pushed the door open slightly and peered down the hall. As soon as he made sure that no one was around, he snuck out of the stairwell and shut the door behind him, securing the giant tapestry that hung in front of it. There were several secret passageways in the castle of Bast, and Aaron was thankful for every one them.
He made his way to his room, his casual gait contrasting wildly with the thoughts in his head. Briden's smiling face filled his mind. He couldn't shake the vision of her sea green eyes. He shook his head, attempting to clear it, but it was no use, he had finally fallen off the edge.
Luckily, he didn't meet anyone on the way. Once he made it to his destination, he jerked the door open and slipped inside, shutting the door behind him with a sigh of relief.
"Ah, you're back."
Aaron looked up to see Nick sitting in one of the chairs by the window. He frowned. "What are you doing in here?"
Nick shrugged as though it were obvious. "I was waiting for you. I never know where you are these days."
Aaron rubbed the back of his neck, trying to relieve some of the tension. He took the seat across from his brother without saying a word.
So much for being alone.
The two of them sat in silence for a moment. Aaron ignored Nick, hoping he would leave.
Nick, however, did not move. "How'd it go with Briden?"
Aaron shot him a weary glance. Lately, he had looked forward to his older brother's advice. Nick could be rather helpful when he wanted to be. After all, it had been Nick's idea to invite Briden to the ball so that he could finally tell her about his being a prince. Nick had also been the one to suggest the use of their rather reclusive uncle Roy and aunt Renna as his temporary excuse for parents. But now Aaron had something else on his mind to worry about, and he wanted to worry about it alone. He could still feel the warm spot on his cheek where Briden had kissed him. He decided to tell Nick what he wanted to know and then ask him to leave.
"Good. Briden's coming to the ball."
"Aw, Aaron's got a date for the ball."
Aaron rolled his eyes. "So do you."
"Yes, but Rachel and I are engaged. When are you going to start dating that girl?"
Aaron stared. "What?"
Nick went on with an air of omniscience, "You talk about her all the time. You've sent her, what, eight letters since she stopped talking to you? And you couldn't wait to see her this morning. Are you honestly going to tell me you don't have feelings for her?"
"Listen, I—"
There was a knock at the door.
"Come in!" Aaron called instantly. He didn't want more people around him, but he wanted to answer Nick's question even less.
The door opened, and a pretty girl in a yellow dress with a long dark braid walked in. "Hello boys."
Aaron jumped up from his seat. "Rachel! Good to see you. Please, be so kind and get your fiancée out of here."
Rachel moved to sit on the arm of Nick's chair, gazing at him amiably. "Nick, honey, sometimes people need their space."
Nick smiled and pulled Rachel onto his lap. "But I don't like space." She smiled, and he kissed her. Aaron regarded the couple. He had to admit, they were perfect for each other. Rachel brought out the best in Nick.
Then Nick glanced at Aaron and said to Rachel as-a-matter-of-factly, "Aaron's having relationship issues. I think he needs to talk."
Rachel sat up and looked at him. "Aaron? Are you okay?"
"Yes I'm fine," Aaron sighed. "I was just hoping to be alone for a while. That is not such an unreasonable request is it?"
"No, it isn't," Rachel answered. "However, I find talking about certain things works better to resolve them than keeping them bottled up."
Aaron examined her innocent expression for a moment. "Oh my god. Nick's told you everything, hasn't he?"
Rachel blushed and Nick laughed. Rachel jabbed Nick in the chest with her elbow in attempt to quiet him, and Aaron collapsed back into his chair with a deep, frustrated sigh.
"Thanks a lot," Aaron groaned.
"Nick didn't mean to betray your confidence, Aaron," she insisted. "He didn't tell me much anyway, just that you were having some problems with a girl and you've been keeping your status from her." Rachel defended her fiancé with dignified grace. She was going to make a great queen.
Aaron avoided Rachel's gaze and looked out the window. Reluctantly, he realized maybe having a woman's opinion would be helpful. He glanced back at her.
"So... What do you think I should do?"
"Well you should tell her the truth, that's what."
"I was going to...at the ball, but..."
"What's wrong? Don't you think she'll understand?"
"No, I'm sure she will. But, the thing is..."
Nick, who had been sitting quietly in observation, spoke up. "Come on Aaron. Just admit it. You love her."
Rachel's eyes widened, moving from Nick to Aaron. "Aaron? Do you love this girl?"
Aaron didn't answer right away. "I don't know," he said honestly. "I mean, I'm not sure... When she kissed me I—"
"She kissed you?" Rachel and Nick exclaimed in unison.
"Just on the cheek, today when I went to go see her, but it was like a joke...not a real kiss." And then he felt the need to add, "Anyway it's not as if she loves me..."
Rachel raised an eyebrow. "How do you know that?"
"I just know. Our relationship is purely platonic to her. She was dating this Gavin guy... She's not interested in me that way."
"I see..." She lay back in Nick's arms. "Well, you should still tell her how you feel, regardless of how she feels. It's only fair, to you and to her. And who knows? You might be surprised."
Aaron stared at Rachel with veneration. "Wow, that's actually good advice." He managed a small smile. "You know, you're going to be a great sister-in-law."
Rachel smiled. "Thanks. I'm glad to help."
Aaron nodded, trying to think. "I guess I can talk to her at the ball..."
"Just make sure to tell her before the clock strikes midnight and she runs off," Nick joked.
Rachel took Nick by the hand and pulled him towards the door. "Come on, Nick. Let's leave Aaron alone now. Maybe we can find you someone else to give love advice to." She laughed, and Nick chased after her. The two ran out of the room and down the hall.
The couple's voices faded, and Aaron could finally hear himself think. Though armed with a plan, he still had to figure out exactly how he felt about Briden. He wanted to be sure of his feelings before he told her.
Nick and Rachel seemed wholly convinced that he was in love with her, but Aaron knew he was the only one who could know for sure. His life had become tremendously complicated without his even knowing it. He had thought keeping his status from Briden would keep things simple, but it had done just the opposite. Now that she was finally speaking to him again, he did not want to make another mistake. She was the best friend he'd ever had. The last thing he wanted was to lose her again.
He sat there and reflected on his time spent with Briden, from the moment he first met her to the kiss she'd planted on his cheek mere minutes ago—the kiss that had made everything within him spin out of control. Then he realized something. Along with all those memories came an underlying feeling of secrecy. But he realized secrets weren't the only thing he had been keeping from Briden; he'd been keeping his true feelings controlled to an almost dormant state; and not just from her, but from himself as well.
As he tried to organize his thoughts, he began going over the plans he had made. He thought he knew Briden well enough to believe she would understand why he kept his being a prince from her, though he was still nervous about revealing the truth. Then he found himself wondering exactly how she felt about him. She had always confided in him and seemed to enjoy his company, but was that it? There was no doubt that he had feelings for Briden; she was his best friend and he cared for her deeply, but love her? Love. That was a big word that he did not use lightly.
Aaron sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. This was crazy. He couldn't love someone he'd been lying to for the past five months, could he? Granted, the lie was necessary, and had enabled their close relationship, but he had buried himself so deep that he didn't even feel like a prince anymore when he was around her. It was like he was living two completely different lives. Now all he knew was that he had five days to sort out the mess he'd made, and it was not going to be easy. Aaron mentally paused the rational and diplomatic side of him, and focused solely on listening to his heart. He had to find out exactly how he felt about Briden.
He had some thinking to do.
