"You're leaving, aren't you?"
My head snaps up from my bag, and land on Alice. She stands in the doorway, her eyes holding sadness as she watches me closely.
"How did you know?" I sigh, sitting down on the completely unnecessary bed behind me.
"Well you are packing a bag." She laughs lightly, but the light doesn't reach her eyes "And, well you know, I saw it."
Although I know that this family has become my own by turning me, I know that at least for now I cannot stay. They've been incredibly kind, each of them explaining their different gifts, and trying to acclimate me to the new life I must live.
"I'm so sorry Alice, but please you cannot tell the others, I can't stay." I plead with her.
She approaches me slowly, barely managing a smile.
"I know you can't, I've seen it."
I nod to her, both of us rushing to embrace each other tightly. I know she must know that this is not the last time she will see me, I will always be from the Cullen Clan, but for now the nomad life is beckoning me.
"He knows that you're leaving, but he won't try to stop you, or even attempt to talk you out of it." Alice sighs, pulling away from me.
"Is it crazy to think that I never want to hurt him?" I ask, picking up the bag of everything dear to me easily.
"Of course not, you're mates. That bond doesn't just go away because he hurt you. You'll always care for him; and eventually love him." She grins teasingly, jumping out of the way when I lunge out to smack her.
"You're delusional." I smile at her.
She laughs before her face grows dim, and she looks over at me with a sad smile.
"I'm going to miss you, Calina. You always have a family here with us." She grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly.
"Ditto." I laugh, walking towards my window.
"Stay safe, stay away from humans." She jokes, following me closely.
I toss my bag out first, it's rather unnecessary, but I don't mind. Putting one leg out, ready to jump, I turn back to Alice one last time.
"Take care of him." I nod, my dead heart aching at the thought of Jasper being alone, no matter how upset I am with him.
"Always."
With her word, I jump down to the snowy ground beneath me, grabbing my bag and running into the woods. I feel sick thinking about where I'm headed, but it's the only place I know secluded enough for me to stay without worrying about wanting to drain anyone.
Jared and I drove there in the middle of the night after prom, it was where I first though he was out of his mind, but I just tried not to let it bother me. I was young, and thought that it was simply what love was like.
With my thoughts racing, I run as fast as I can towards the cabin, praying that it's still empty.
. . .
"Calina has left us." Alice announces, walking down the stairs quickly, it turns to pacing when she reaches the bottom.
Edward barely even moves at the announcement, he no doubt has known since the first thought of it crossed her mind. Neither Kate or Tanya look fazed by it either, since Calina turned they've been spending all their time with us, barely going home at all.
"She'll be back." Kate sighs, flicking through a magazine absentmindedly.
"No, she won't." Jasper breaks his silence; his face is screwed up into something resembling pain.
"It's what Calina does best." Kate again responds, giving us no clues as to what she's implying.
"When her parents died, she ran to our house, and when Allison started to care for her she tried to leave the country. She managed to evade the Sheriff Department for almost a week. Those aren't even the only times either, but she always comes back." Tanya explains, looking only slightly more worried than her sister.
I stand, wanting nothing more than to retreat to my room. We should have never allowed ourselves to get close to her. I would give up my friendship with her just to have let her be human again and live a normal life.
"This cannot happen again, we cannot let another human into this mess again." I glare, making eye contact with each of them. I glare especially hard at Jasper.
"Rose, we couldn't have predicted what happened." Carlisle tries, giving Esme a look.
"I didn't even see it coming." Alice interjects, sitting down on the couch next to Jasper with a frown.
I don't know what else to do, so I just sit back down, watching a pointless ball game with Emmett next to me. My thoughts are not on the ball game though, they are with Calina, hoping that she will in fact be back to us.
. . .
The cabin looms ahead of me. If I had a heart, it would be beating out of my chest. There' a nonexistent lump in my throat, but I try to push through it.
No lights beckon in the distance, so I approach cautiously. When I realize, I can't hear any hearts beating from inside, I hop up onto the porch, tossing the rug aside and grabbing the key beneath it.
The door unlocks easily, and I walk slowly inside. Nothing looks like it has moved in the past year. I want to laugh when I see my tea mug still sitting on the counter, completely untouched after that night at prom.
Jared ran me out the next morning, yelling at me over something. I can't even remember now, everything become jumbled when the venom burned my humanity away. Some days I swear I will forget my family, and the way Sammy used to let out a high-pitched squeal before he laughed.
Stepping over some cobwebs, I make my way to the closet in the hall, pulling out the tub of cleaning supplies.
I toss my bag onto the bed in the master bedroom, quickly going to work with the vacuum across the carpeted floors. I scrub away the dust and grime like I'm trying to scrub away the past. Not surprisingly, it doesn't work at all, and I just wish that I could cry.
When I finish, I hunker down in the chair, pulling out my copy of Ethan Frome, a book I've read a thousand times over, and one I could read a thousand times more. I read, and I get lost in a world better than my own.
. . .
Allison
"God, damn it." I yell, tossing the missing persons flyers onto the table as I stare at the deputy in front of me.
"Miss Laraunt, you have to calm down." He sighs, obviously distressed by my attitude.
"No, you get your ass back out there, stop asking me pointless questions, and find my sister." My fist smacks down onto the table on its own accord, and the man jumps.
"Calina ran away three months ago, correct?" he pretends to look down at a list, wincing when I all but growl at him.
"Yes, but we worked past that, I swear, she wouldn't have gone anywhere on her own accord."
My head drops to my hands, and I look to him again.
"Listen, when Jared Grant killed my family, Calina was really torn up. She didn't know how to feel, or how to cope, so she ran. She's doing better now, just the few moments of PTSD, and that's it. You must find her, she wouldn't have ran on her own.
He nods, grabbing his papers and tipping his hat at me before walking out the door silently. The tears start to flow freely, and I wish I had even an ounce of the strength Calina has.
When I first got up from Florida, Calina was still in the ICU, she hadn't even woken up yet. I'll never forget her face, and the pain she had written all over it. For a few weeks, it haunted me in my sleep. That was nothing like the terrors Calina had.
She woke up screaming in the ICU, kicking and shouting despite her pain and condition. They had to sedate her she was so riled up. When the doc finally arrived, he told me of the broken ribs Calina had, and the yellow bruising on her abdomen that was too old to be a wound from the attack.
I stared down at her that night, and I vowed I would make sure she had everything she could ever want, and my heart aches to think that once again her life has been altered.
. . .
Calina
Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, my routine was mundane, but it got me through. I hunted at night, enjoying the quiet, and sat in my chair to read during the day. I ached to be back with my family, but forgiveness is a hard thing, and somehow, I still did not have it in my heart to forgive Jasper just yet.
Sometimes I went into the city, I hid away in coffee shops, working on self-control. I started small, and built my way up.
Somehow, I have not faltered once. I wish I could be proud, but the monster inside of me takes my pride, making me thirst like an animal when I'm around the humans.
I shake off the snow covering my jacket, looking around at the woods around me, the snow and ice makes everything look like a wonderland a vision of fairytales that I am not meant to be in.
I slowly make my way to a tree, leaning against it as I watch the world in awe. I am so spellbound that I don't even notice the footfalls behind me, approaching me with caution. The person is upon me before I even notice them.
"Calina."
I whirl around my dead heart barely intact as I take in the ma before me. He doesn't look much different, more sad, but still himself. My being aches to make him happy once again, but I cannot bring myself to say a word.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know he had taken up residence this close to ours." He nods, trying to be polite, but I hear the desperation in his words.
"I…" I stutter out, "I came out pretty far, it's my fault." I try, but he just watches me, I just want him to hold me, to tell me I'm okay, but the independence in me tells me that would be a death sentence.
We lapse into silence, each watching each other desperately.
"Tell me you feel it too." He finally speaks, and my head snaps down, eyeing the snow beneath me like it could sprout wings and fly me away if I try hard enough.
"Feel what?" I question. It comes out more harsh than I intended, and he winces under my words.
"The emptiness, the sadness, the longing." His face is screwed up with pain, and I know he's taking the bulk of the emotions for both of us.
"Of course, but it doesn't change anything." I try to shrug indifferently, but it fails.
"I could make you feel so complete." He whispers, taking a step closer to me, waiting for me to jump away.
Instead I stay where I am, waiting as his hand connects with my face gently at an agonizingly slow speed.
"I know." I sigh when he's right in front of me.
"Let me make you complete." He lowers his face, and I don't dare move a muscle, my eyes focusing on his lips that are dangerously close to mine.
"Just once." I whisper, and his lips crash to mine.
The tree behind me trembles at the force he applies. I can't stand to let him invade my heart and soul again, so when I feel the pain of missing him dull, I pull away.
"Don't follow me." I whisper, and his face falls, I have never seen a more pained look, and I almost stay just for that.
With that, I pull from his arms, running in a direction different from the cabin to throw him off. Somehow, I know that I will love this boy. It scares me, and I wish I could just understand him, and understand why he chose me.
My unbeating heart will love him ceaselessly.
