Phew! Okay…I'm alive! Haha.
Okay—So—I created a mess with these people, now I have to clean it up and make things a LITTLE better—But yall know me…I'm not the nicest person on earth when it comes to this story. Mwahaha. (:
Oh yeah and sorry if I speed it up too much. I just reeeaalllyyy hate lingering around (: haha
Enjoy.
Tears poured down the sides of her cheeks. She rolled to her side to see a wedding picture on the nightstand next to her. She and Sam were—Happy.
She closed her eyes to get some rest as the flashback of the whole night came flying back into her mind. She continued to roll from side to side, wishing that Sam would be there to catch her and hold her tightly. It was over—It was all over. In one day she had ruined everything. She had ruined her life, Sam's life, her children's lives, Ed's life, Sophie's life, Clark's life, and most of all—her life on the team—there was no way she could show her face there.
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Early Sunday morning
"Mom, I'm really sorry." Jessica told her the next morning as she walked into her parent's room. Jules sat up in bed with a harsh headache and bloodshot eyes. Jules nodded as she couldn't forget what Jessica told her last night, "You suck at being a mom."
"Seriously, I'm really, really sorry—You're a great mom." Jessica leaned down to hug her. "Now—What happened last night, Mom?" She asked, sitting down next to her.
"Sweetie—I'm fine. I wish I could tell you, but I have to deal with this myself. I just need you father here."
Jessica shook her head, "Mom—You were drunk. Your car is not even here—you walked home from somewhere—where?"
Jules looked down at her hands, "Jessica, It's best for you and your sister to not know what happened last night. Really."
Jessica just stared at Jules for a minute, then wrapped her arms around her. "I don't know what happened, but—." She pulled away, "Did you do something you think you're going to regret?" Jules closed her eyes and nodded slowly. A tear ran down Jessica's cheek. "But sweetie—I want you to know that I love both you and your sisters very much, and nothing will ever change that. Jessica smiled.
"Now, how about you go get ready for work and just go on—for me."
"But mom—."
"Sweetie I need to stay away from that station for a little while. Just tell the team that I'm fine and I just need some space."
Jessica smiled and nodded, "Okay—I love you, Mom."
"I love you too sweetie—now go."
Jessica left the house wearily as she left a shaken Jules, Alexis was asleep, and Carly was lying in her crib.
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"Hey Jessica!" Spike called out. "How's Jules doing?"
Jessica gave a short smile, "She's fine—She just said that she needed to keep a little space from place for a while."
Spike nodded as Ed stood next to him with a blank look on his face.
"Something happened last night and I'm really worried about her—but she'll be fine. She'll probably stop by sometime this week."
Ed's face dropped, "Do you have any idea of what happened?"
"Nope—But I'm going to stay out of her business."
All the guys nodded as they made their way to the briefing room. Ed was the last to follow.
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"Come here sweetie." Jules said as she lifted Carly into her arms and rocked her gently, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, sweetie."
"Sorry about what?" Alexis asked as she had no clue about last night.
"Um—What happened yesterday." Jules froze for a moment, "Sweetie—Go—Just go sit down." Alexis looked at her puzzled, then did as she was told and made her way to the couch. Jules placed Carly back in her crib and followed her out.
"Alexis, I'll tell you the same thing that I told Jessica before she left this morning." Jules sighed, still receiving confused stares from Alexis. "Something happened last night—And I just want you to know how much I really love all of you girls."
"Mom, are you okay?" Alexis asked.
Jules nodded, "I'm fine sweetie. This just has to be something I talk to your father about—It needs to be something between us. I love you."
"I love you too mom." Alexis told her, hugging her tightly. She then noticed something. "Mom—You smell like—You smell like cologne."
Jules' eyes widened. "Sweetie I—."
"Mom—Clark had that same cologne on when he stole it from his dad. What the hell did you do last night?" She yelled, jumping to her feet.
Jules stared at her, then looked to the ground. "Listen—Lexi—I made a mistake last night, and I really regret it and—."
"You slept with some other guy, didn't you!?" She burst into tears. "Mom! How could you!?"
"Alexis, It isn't like that—I—."
"What are you going to tell me now, mom? That you were raped? You sure don't look it. You left us here and you went out drinking again, didn't you!? Who was it? Some guy you never met in your life or—Mom." She stopped mid-sentence. She thought of the cologne. The fact that she couldn't be with Clark.
"Lexi—I love your father. I made a really big mistake."
"You—Mom—But who was it?"
Jules glanced at her, telling her she knew exactly who it was. "Mr. Lane? Mom—How could you?"
"This discussion is over." Jules declared as she got up and walked towards her room, quickly being pulled on by Alexis. "Mom—We share everything with each other. I already know what happened—Just give me an explanation!"
Jules took Alexis' hand and walked her to the couch. "When you're put through something like this, and left alone with three kids—its really overwhelming." She began.
"But that gives you no excuse to have an affair."
"I—I know. It wasn't as much of something I asked for, Lexi. It was like—I did it out of loneliness. Yes, I went out drinking—Ed was there and we got too drunk to drive and sweetie—I don't even really remember what happened after that."
"And you called dad a liar—Mom, what if something happens to him over there!? And this is what you've done!" Alexis was bawling her eyes out.
Jules shook her head as tears rolled down her cheeks, "I need to be alone, sweetie." She walked off and closed the door to her room, pressing her hands against it as she cried her eyes out. She wanted to call Sam and tell him everything—just to get it off her chest. But she couldn't. She wasn't able to call him for the whole time he was gone. He wasn't just a few hours away—he was across the world.
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A week later
Sam had yet to return. Jules was still being shunned, by her own kids, but they all vowed to keep silent.
Jessica put things on hold for a bit with Jake, as she told him she was being overwhelmed with family problems. He understood, and they continued to call and talk to each other—Just no dates as Jessica tried to help as much as she could.
Alexis had yet to get back up with Clark as he and his mom decided to spend a few more days with his grandparents.
None of the team had seen or spoken to Jules. Greg continued to ask for updates from Jessica as she continued to tell him that everything was fine and she needed her space.
Ed was being tormented with guilt. Jules wouldn't speak to him. He gave up trying to get up with her without others knowing—He figured she would come out sometime.
One night after a long shift Greg called Ed to speak with him alone.
"Parker." Ed said quietly as the team dispersed after the long shift.
"Eddie—I needed to speak with you." Greg said in a concerned tone as he told him to take a seat at the briefing room table. "What happened with you today? Your target rounds have been all over the place—plus, you came to work with a hangover last week, and you know the rules."
"Boss I—." He knew he had to tell him. He couldn't tell anyone else, and there was no way he could keep it to himself without going insane. Was it too early to tell him? No. Yes? Maybe. He blurted it out. "Something happened last week and I'll never be able to take it back and I feel like shit and it was totally fucked up what I did. Phew." He took a deep breath after the mouth-full he just shared with Greg.
"Care to explain?" Greg asked with widened eyes.
"Sarge, I don't even know what to say really." He couldn't tell him what exactly happened.
"Ed, if you tell me what happened, it will be off your chest and you can focus on work. What happened?"
Ed pressed his face to his hands, "Boss—I had an affair."
"Buddy—I'm sorry, what—I mean, how? I thought you and Sophie were good."
"No boss. We've been having trouble lately, but it wasn't because of an affair." He said with his head still down.
"Where'd you meet her?" He asked blankly, placing his hand on his teammate's shoulder.
Ed refused to look at him, "Work."
"Work? Ed—What?" Greg pushed his chair back, standing up and throwing his hands on the table.
"Boss, I—That's why she wont come anywhere near this place." Ed told him. Greg shook his head furiously. "Boss, I slept with Jules."
"Ed Lane—You did not!" Greg yelled, throwing papers all over the table in frustration.
"Greg—Boss—I don't even know what to do. She wont come near me or the team."
Greg walked around the table shaking his head as Ed sat with his face smacked into his hands. "How could you two do this? Mostly Mr. Lane, how could you do this!? You knew she was vulnerable after what happened with Sam—she's alone—You two? You know what—I give up." He marched out of the room, leaving Ed in the dark.
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Yet another night passed of Jules falling asleep to a simple goodnight from Alexis and Jessica. They only person she had that didn't hate her, was Carly.
The next morning Alexis went on off to school and Jessica went on to work. Jules decided it was time she finally went by and picked up her paychecks that she had been getting over her maternity leave. Slipping through the door she decided to stop by her locker room.
Greg spotted her. He knew he needed to talk to her and tell her that he knew about what happened, plus he had big news for her. Someone needed to talk to her.
As she was alone in the big locker room, she placed Carly into a carrier she had set up in there after she was born, and she took a seat. She couldn't take it anymore. The thought of seeing her team again killed her. The thought of seeing Sam's face when she told him what happened killed her even more. She looked over to Carly and kissed her gently. "I love you sweetie." She told her, smoothing her thumb down her cheek and walking over to her locker. It seemed like forever since she had opened it. It opened with a quick snap and she saw what she needed. A case. She pulled out the black case and placed it on the counter, pulling a gun out and hooking the clip in. She stared at it for a moment, then looked in the mirror to see tears running down her cheeks. Also in the mirror she could see a reflection of a picture of the team. Everyone was happy and smiling, and then she saw how she looked now.
She sat down on the floor beside her locker and placed the gun flat in her lap. That was when the heavy door screeched open.
"Can I talk—Jules?" Greg stopped in his footsteps as he saw her just sitting on the floor, her legs crossed, and a gun placed in her lap. "Jules? Everything okay?"
"I don't understand why people are so afraid of these things. They can really help in certain situations." She said in a blank tone without even looking up.
"Jules—Will you hand me the gun?" He asked in a calming voice. She shook her head slowly. "Greg, I've ruined my life. I've ruined everyone around my life. It's not fair for me to just stay around here and put people through this grief."
Greg walked towards her. He sat down on the bench near her, "Jules, don't do this with Carly around." Before he could finish his statement she had the gun pressed to her chest. "I'm really, really sorry." She told him, not looking him in the eye as he stood up and backed away towards the door. Ed came towards the room as he saw Greg standing in the doorway in shock. The rest of the guys were circled around the man Greg wanted to take to Jules.
Ed signaled for the whole group to come over as they stood from afar and saw Jules with the gun pressed to her chest.
"Come on Jules—The girls wouldn't want you to do this. Think of Sam—He wouldn't want you to do this either."
Sam, I ruined his life.
"Something's got you really upset, Jules. What is it? You can tell me anything." He already knew what happened, he just needed for her to get it off her chest.
"I—I—I ruined my family."
"How Jules? Trust me, I'm sure you didn't."
She shook as another tear escaped her closed eyelids. "I slept with another man—And I didn't mean to—I made a mistake."
"Everyone makes mistakes, Jules. That doesn't mean you family wouldn't love you. Everyone loves you Jules—There's nothing to hate about you. You're sweet, kind, and you're an amazing wife and mom."
"No I'm not!" She yelled, "How could he ever forgive me after this!? How could Sam—."
"Jules? Sweetie, What is this? Why do you have a gun to yourself?" A voice asked from the doorway.
"Sam?" She asked, finally lifting her eyes from the gun.
Sam smiled and shook his head, "Jules—Whatever happened—We'll get through whatever happened together."
She stared at him for a moment until the gun fell to her lap. "Sam—I'm so sorry." He looked at her and nodded. Greg leaned over and lifted the gun from her lap and handed it to Ed. Sam made his way into the locker room as the door slammed shut, leaving the two of them alone with Carly still in the room. "Jules—What happened?"
Urgh. Confusing chapter again! Well, I'm TRYING to make this a tad bit better, but it wouldn't be "Problems" without… you know… Problems.. (: hahaha.
Please review!!! Please?? (:
