Thank you for all of your lovely reviews and thank you to the Unknown Beta for all his hard work reading my chapters and making suggestions.

Please be aware that this chapter is quite dark and there are violent elements to the action. There are also scenes of a sexual nature. Nothing too graphic though. Maybe a 15 rating in the UK.

I am very nervous about posting this chapter, so please, if you have any thoughts on it, positive or negative, a review would be much appreciated.


The water was crashing down on her, crushing her, she was being swept along by the current, tumbling over and over, not knowing which way was up, only aware that the sea was finally going to claim her, that she has escaped once, and that now, she was going to drown.

Ashleigh had hit the water hard and shocked by what Alec had done, she'd barely had time to register that she was falling, let alone what she would actually do when she hit the water. She had hit the surface hard, the air forced out of her by the sudden impact, and then she had been dragged down below the waves, panicking, unable to pull herself together to swim, to fight the current, to even work out which way the surface was.

She knew drowning wasn't an easy death, knew that her last moments would be agony as the water rushed into her lungs, that the last sensations she would feel would be cold and as sharp as a knife deep inside her. She wanted to scream, but knew she couldn't. Instead she struggled, lashing out with arms and legs, trying to swim, trying to save herself. It was pitch black in the water, and she closed her eyes against the unforgiving darkness.

Alec watched as Ashleigh hit the water; saw the look of horror on her face before she vanished below the surface. He turned as the Huangs shouted, realising they were about to lose their opportunity for revenge, gave a cold hard smile in their direction, and leapt over the railing.

To his surprise, the water was warmer than he expected, but dark, so dark, he forced his eyes open as he crashed below the surface.

To stay submerged for a minute or two was his best option, he knew the Huangs would fire down on them, and under the water he had more of a chance of surviving. And having died twice already in this lifetime, Alec had no intentions of really dying at the hands of two jumped up wannabe Lords of War.

He struck out hard, dragging himself through the water, swimming hard against the current that wanted to pull him towards the shore.

He could see Ashleigh ahead, a pale shape in the water. She was struggling, but the struggles were getting weaker. As he swam towards her, he saw her go limp, slowly sinking as gravity pulled her deeper under the water. He doubled his efforts, reaching out for her.

Gasping for breath, Alec broke the surface of the water, dragging Ashleigh with him. The fresh air revived her, and she opened her eyes, coughing and spluttering as the air hit her face. He hooked an arm under her, and began the swim back to shore, Ashleigh lying compliantly in his grasp, helping as she could, kicking in sync with him, letting him take control and getting them back onto dry land.


The hotel room was softly lit, luxurious, yet strangely sterile. Ashleigh was slumped on the floor, leaning back against a tall chest of drawers, shivering, still soaked through. She glanced round the room, taking in the softly coloured walls, the expensive furniture, the huge, dominating bed in the centre of the room, covered in overly plump cushions and bolsters, all swathed in sensuous fabrics. The window was open, sending in a cool breeze that ruffled the muslin drapes that surrounded the bed, and raising goosebumps on Ashleigh's chilled skin. She had been in the room for about twenty minutes, since Alec had dragged her from the ocean and bundled her into the back of a dark saloon car. He hadn't said where they were going, or why they were going there, but she hadn't expected this.

She wasn't sure what she had expected.

'Here,' Alec said, coming back into the room from the bathroom. She looked up warily, as if expecting a blow, but he was simply holding out a dark navy towel to her. She took it, rubbing at her arms, and lightly over her hair before wrapping it around herself. She was shivering.

Alec barely afforded her a second glance, instead rubbing his own hair with another towel. He had shrugged off his jacket as soon as he had left the sea, the sopping fabric crumpled in the corner of the room, leaving him dressed only in his trousers and his black shirt, the collar undone, and the sleeves rolled up his arms. Idly he reached for his discarded suit jacket, and from somewhere in the middle of the bundle of wet material, he pulled out his favoured Browning DA pistol, and examined it critically, separating the parts, tipping out salt water from the components. It had suffered worse before, now he laid it out on the desk to dry.

'Busy night?' Ashleigh snarled from the floor.

He glanced over at her as if he had forgotten she was even in the room. 'You could say that,' he said mildly.

'Shame it came to an early end then,' she gestured at the dismantled weapon. 'You won't be using that for a while.'

'I suppose not,' he shrugged his shoulders and then reached to pull open a drawer of the bedside table. 'But then, you know me, I like to be prepared.' He lifted out an identical weapon and laid it on the table.

'So how many did you kill tonight? Just the old Huang man? Anyone else?'

'Just Huang.'

'Enjoy it, did you? Killing a defenceless old man?'

'How do you know he was defenceless?'

'I saw him,' she said shrilly. 'I saw him. He had a gunshot wound to the back of the head. He had no weapon with which to defend himself. You executed him. You executed an old man!'

'It wasn't my choice to do so.'

'That's a comforting thought.'

Alec stared down at his wife. She was huddled against the chest of drawers, her knees drawn up almost to her chin, her short hair drying into spikes, stiffened by the salt water. The towel she had around her had slipped, revealing her almost bare shoulders. A single droplet of water had slipped from her hair, down her neck, to nestle in the hollow above her collarbone. He had a sudden urge to brush it away, but the dark accusation in her wide eyes made him keep his distance.

She knew him too well. As they stared at each other, she saw the briefest flicker of pain on his features before they slipped back into the carefully composed mask. And the futility of the situation hit her hard. Their daughter had been missing for weeks now, and it seemed like they were no closer to finding her than they had been in the beginning. She wanted to clamber to her feet, to step across the gulf that seemed to divide them, to let him wrap his arms around her, to lift herself up and press her mouth against his, to kiss him, to let him know that together, together, they could survive anything, even this.

'It was just one old man,' Alec said bluntly.

His coldness was like a slap in the face. All of a sudden, the tenderness between them was gone once more, and she recoiled, pressing back into the solid wood behind her, furious at herself for letting the icy façade drop, even for a moment.

'Fuck you, Alec,' she swore. 'Fuck you then.'

He raised an eyebrow at her. 'Such a charming endearment, Ash. You always knew how to touch me.'

'Once I did,' she said blandly. 'Once. That's over now.'

'Is it?' he said softly.

'I'm not entirely sure how we can go on.'

Alec laughed harshly, the sound unnerving Ashleigh completely. 'You always give up so easily, Ashleigh.'

'I know when I'm fighting a lost cause,' she said quietly.

Slowly, swallowing hard, she found the words she wanted to say. 'Tell me where my daughter is. Tell me where Natasha is, and I'll go.'

He turned back slowly to her. 'And what makes you think that I know where she is?'

If she could read him, then her face to him was a permanently open book. He saw it fall now, saw all her hopes crushed at once. 'You mean, you mean that you don't know where she is?' she stammered.

He shrugged. 'Not exactly.'

'Not exactly?' she repeated incredulously. 'Not exactly?'

Silence fell heavy in the room. Alec dropped the towel unceremoniously onto the nearby dresser and simply stared defiantly at his wife as if daring her to question him further.

'I'm in the dark again, aren't I?' Ashleigh said softly, bitter understanding dawning on her face. She turned away from him, choosing to stare at the floor instead, her chin pressed to her shoulder, tucking her face away, refusing to meet his eyes. 'Once more, I know nothing, and you know almost everything. You hold all the cards, and I scrabble around, hoping, praying, desperately trying to find my way in the game, and you won't tell me a thing.' The last few words were almost a shout that fell flatly in the empty silence.

'Fine,' Ashleigh shrugged stoically, unknowingly copying her husband's gesture of moments before. 'Fine. You win, Alec. Like you always do.'

'I didn't know there was anything to win. Or lose.'

'Don't you? I think we both stand to lose everything. No, that's not right is it? I stand to lose everything, and you will walk away with everything. Like you always do. So what will happen this time? Another faked death? Only this time it would be different, wouldn't it? There would be a grieving widow, mourning the loss of her husband, her only child, her whole family wiped out in a matter of weeks. Such a tragic loss. And what am I to do then, Alec? Return to England? Or am I to be so overcome by grief that I can't face living any longer? Some may call it suicide, others will call it a broken heart, and you'll be free to carry out whatever plan it is that you're making…'

Her voice trailed off, and suddenly her eyes widened at the sight of the sullen expression on his face. 'I won't be given the chance to, will I?' she said suddenly, viciously. 'I'm right, aren't I? Its easy to dispose of an unwanted wife, isn't it? How is it to be? Car accident? Or will it just be a single bullet to the head?'

'You unnerve me, Ash, you always have,' Alec said, raking a hand through his still damp hair. 'You have the strange ability to always jump to completely the wrong conclusion in the shortest amount of time possible.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that you'll let me walk away from this alive?'

'Yes,' he said simply. 'I have no intention of killing you.'

'And your friends? Can I have their reassurance too?'

'Friends?' he shook his head disbelievingly. 'Do you think I would call the people who have done this 'friends'?'

'I wouldn't know, would I?' her voice became shrill and high again. 'Because I have no idea what's going on!'

'Your problem, Ash, is that you let your conscience drag you down.'

'What?' she said, completely unnerved by the complete change of direction in the conversation.

'Don't look so surprised,' Alec said idly. 'You've always lived by your conscience, you let your conscience make the decisions, even when they are the wrong ones to make because you believe it's the 'right' thing to do.' The scorn in his voice was plain to hear. 'Sometimes, the right thing to do, is the wrong thing. The thing that will go against every moral you have, every ethical instinct inside you, everything your bloody conscience is screaming against!'

He was close to losing his temper and Ashleigh cowered back against the chest of drawers. She had rarely seen Alec angry. Cool, arrogant, yes, even coldly furious, yet this red hot anger was a rarity.

She dragged herself to her feet, using the drawers for support. She stood before him in her still wet clothes, hair limp around her face, and drew up every last vestige of dignity that she still had.

'At least I still have a conscience,' she said, chin tilted into the air, shoulders squared.

'I wouldn't be so proud of that,' he said, a dark flicker of amusement on his face. 'Look at you, Ash. You've always done what you've believed to be right, and it still hasn't got you anywhere, has it? You're married to me, and we all know what I am, don't we? A traitor. A murderer. Janus. How have you resigned your conscience to us? When I touch you, how do you justify it? When I kiss you, how do you soothe your conscience? In bed, when we…'

'Stop it,' she spat, before he could say it. She didn't want those images in her head, not while they were standing so close together.

'Why not, Ashleigh?' he took another step closer to her, and she caught the faintest tang of the cool, fresh scent that he always wore, the one that seemed to permeate everything that she owned, so that she could never escape him, faint, so faint, tempered with sea salt and exertion. 'Why not? Isn't that what you've been thinking of from the moment you saw me?'

'No!' she cried out, and threw her hands out wildly, hoping to stop him from moving closer. They hit hard against his chest, knocking him back slightly.

Alec staggered slightly, thrown off balance by the violence in the blows. The dark look reappeared on his face. 'Weakness.'

She almost didn't hear him, the word was said so quietly. She remained silent, trying not to shake.

'Weakness,' he repeated. 'You have a weakness in you, Ash. In your temper, in your beliefs, a stupid, pointless weakness. It's why you'd have never made it as an agent. And you knew it, you took your chance to escape MI6 as quickly as you could, before it all went wrong. You'd have never made 00, ever. You're weak. Like David was. Like your father was,' he reiterated, his eyes glittering strangely.

'Never mention my father again,' she hissed, closing the distance between them. 'Never!'

He was reminded of a cold, icy morning, a morning where he had said goodbye to Ashleigh, furious that she would rather go to death with James than come with him. He hadn't been able to ask her, to put into words the fact that he wanted her to turn away from the mission, and go with him, and so he had spat insults at her, his anger only matched by hers when she had realised that he wouldn't be going with them. In that exchange, she had hit him, and in memory of that, he backed away, not prepared to take another right hook from her.

'Weakness,' he said again.

He saw her eyes flicker past him, fall on the Browning DA that sat patiently on the bedside table.

'Don't even think about it,' he laughed hollowly.

'Why not?'

'You wouldn't, Ash. I know you.'

She launched herself at him, with a wild cry, she threw herself forward, reaching out for the pistol.

She had aimed at his middle in a rough tackle, hoping to knock him out of the way, hoping to bring him crashing to the floor. For a moment, she was in his arms, he reached for her hands, hoping to stop her hitting him, but he overbalanced, and the two of them fell to the floor. Ashleigh was smaller than him, able to manoeuvre better in the small tight space between the bed and the table, and he fought hard, pulling her arms away, his fingers closed over cool metal, and then he felt Ashleigh's nails claw across the back of his hand, pulling his fingers away, and then she brought her knee up into his stomach and hard, and in that moment, she wrenched the gun away.

'Back,' she hissed, from where she was lying on the floor, pressed against the wall. The gun was pointing directly at his stomach. 'Back, now.'

Alec moved backwards, scuffling in an undignified manner across the floor. Ashleigh followed, until he was pressed back against the side of the bed, and she was kneeling in front of him, the gun pressed into the stubbled skin under his jaw.

'Don't pretend to have feelings for me, Alec,' she said hollowly, 'I stopped believing that you did long ago. I'm just an incubator for your children, nothing more than that. You bloody confirmed it for me when you drove away from our home without a goodbye, without a backwards glance. Enough is enough. I'm going to find my daughter, and when I'm do, I'm going to take her far away from you.'

'With what, exactly?' Alec snarled, ignoring the pressure of the gun under his chin.

'Oh don't worry about my financial arrangements, darling,' Ashleigh spat sarcastically. 'You forget, I inherited everything from my parents, I sold my house in London, money is the least of my troubles right now.'

He ignored her. 'Do you really think I'm going to let you walk away with my daughter?'

'You have no choice in the matter. I've learnt from the master, Alec, from you, and I'm damned sure I can hide myself away. Even from you. She's my daughter too, I gave birth to her, and I'm going to protect her.'

'Protect her?' Alec laughed cruelly. 'You've done a fantastic job so far, haven't you? You were there when they took her!'

'Yes, I was, wasn't I? I was there! And you weren't! You were off running errands for Le Loup! I was there, and I tried to protect her, and they had to damn near half kill me to take her!'

'You know about Le Loup?' Alec asked dangerously.

'Of course I do! I'm not as stupid as you seem to think I am, Alec.' The gun pressed harder into his jaw, and Alec had to shift upwards slightly to relieve the pressure.

'Yet you think you can just walk up to him, and take Natasha back? Now that is stupidity, Ash.'

'At least I'm trying!' She pushed harder against him, so Alec was bent back over the bed, a slightly white tinge to his skin. He licked his lips nervously.

'You'll be dead within the month, Ash, if you try,' he lifted a hand, and gently pressed it against her face, cupping her jaw, running his thumb across her cheek.

She laughed bitterly. 'That makes two of us then, doesn't it?' For a moment, she let him touch her, her eyes closing briefly with pleasure at his caress and then she realised what she was doing, and she jerked her head away.

'Kill me now,' Alec whispered. 'Do it now, before I kill you. This is the only chance I'll give you. If you don't I'll hunt you down, or Le Loup will. Kill me, before I kill you.'

'Don't push me!' she half screamed, forcing him back even more, so they were lying on the bed, Alec flat on his back, Ashleigh half kneeling over him, half lying on top of him, her warm body pressed against him. 'Don't push me,' she repeated, calmer this time, the gun now pressed into his head, 'because I'm so close to doing it.'

'You wouldn't dare,' he taunted.

She fumbled with the safety, her hand shaking as she drew it back, and Alec heard the ominous click as it fixed into place.

'I'll do it,' she said, a tremble evident in her voice. 'I'll do it.' The tremble had reached her hands and he realised that he was in danger of the gun going off accidentally before Ashleigh managed to pull herself together enough to actually do it. He couldn't risk either happening.

'No, you won't,' he said fiercely, and then, suddenly, he lashed out, hitting the side of her arm hard, forcing it away. She cried out half in pain, half in shock as her arm was thrown to one side, and there was the terrible sound of a shot, and the gun flew out of her hand to clatter into the corner of the room. She turned back to Alec, terrified that she would see a wound between his eyes, blood trickling down his face, those cold green eyes finally dulled, but to her surprise, he was staring up at her, almost smirking with arrogance, as if he knew she would never be able to kill someone she loved. Her eyes opened wide with shock, and in her moment of weakness, he took his opportunity, his hands flying to her shoulders, knocking her off balance, dragging her under him, their roles reversed, pinning her to the bed with the weight of his body.

She was breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling rapidly against his, he could see the rapid beat of her pulse flickering in the hollow of her throat, and he resisted the urge to lower his head and press his mouth against the taut skin there. Instead he lifted his eyes to her face, saw the flush of anger in her cheeks and fury in her warm brown eyes.

'You bastard,' she gasped in between breaths, and suddenly, she was fighting hard, writhing beneath him, trying to push him off her, but he pressed down harder, crushing her. She fought one hand free, trying to hit him against the side of his head, and he felt her fingers glance off his hair, a too close to be comfortable miss and so he pinned her hand above her head.

They had been apart for weeks, and now Alec realised how much he had missed the warmth of his wife's body, how much he had missed her, and his body responded quickly to the feel of hers. 'Ash,' he murmured.

Ashleigh stared up at her husband in some surprise at the sound of her name. She felt Alec's grip relax on her slightly, and realised how close they had come, how the distance between their faces had decreased without her knowing it, and suddenly, his mouth was on hers, hard and demanding. A shiver shot down Ashleigh's spine, and her lips parted, letting him kiss her…

'No!' she howled, bringing her head up hard. Their foreheads met in sharp crack, and Ashleigh blinked away the stars that burst suddenly in front of her eyes. Alec swore, and clamped his hand to his head, and Ashleigh took her chance, wriggling out from underneath him, and off the bed, diving for the door. She fumbled with the door handle, hearing Alec stumble after her. She swore harshly, as she realised it was locked and fought to open it, the lock stiff in her hand, and then suddenly, she was dragged away from the door, Alec's arms locked around her, pulling her towards the bed.

'No!' she cried again, fighting in his arms. He had always been stronger than her, he towered over her in height, she was pressed into his chest.

'Ash,' he murmured into her hair, trying to calm her, pulling her down onto the bed, kissing her shoulders, her throat, stroking the length of her side.

'Alec,' his name caught in her throat, 'please, no.'

His hands were tearing at her clothes, she heard the rip of fabric as her top tore. The cold air hit her damp, exposed skin, making her gasp. His hands cupped her breasts, warming her, she arched her back pressing close against him, against her will, her body responding to him even as she shook her head, even as she tried to get away from him. Her hands clutched at his shoulders, ripping away the fabric there, until she could feel the smooth, warm hardness of his skin and muscles, and then, yes, her fingers found the rippled texture of his scarred side, and she knew she was with Alec, her husband. Angrily, she clawed his back, relishing the feel of her nails against his skin. He hissed in pain, and wrapped a hand around her throat, staring down at her. Ashleigh stared back defiantly, a dark expression in her eyes, and as he watched her, her eyes became softer, gentler, and he felt her hand trailing down his spine gently, even as he gripped her throat. Leaning down, he kissed her softly, feeling her lips part beneath his once more, her tongue flickering gently against his, deepening the kiss.

Her teeth tore into his lip a moment later, a sharp, spiteful pain, and he pulled away suddenly, pressing his spare hand to his lower lip. Blood marked his fingers, and he glanced down, as she smiled, showing off the blood, his blood, darkening her pink lips to red, a small smear across her white teeth. He scowled, and ran a hand over her mouth, wiping away the blood.

'Bitch,' he said, before leaning down to kiss her once more.

'You've only just realised?' he felt her murmur against his lips. He lifted his hand from her throat, seeking her skin once more, stroking, caressing, teasing, and yet, still she fought him, hindering his progress, refusing to make matters easy for him.

He found her, warm, slick and wet, despite her protests. His body covered hers, his hard muscles moulding against her curves, it was so easy to part her thighs, to slide between them and he lost himself in the sensation of being inside her once more, dominating her completely. Still she moaned 'no', still she shook her head even as she wrapped her legs around his waist and drew him closer.

In the darkness, they found each other, their bodies coming together in an expression of the passion that had brought them together, drawing pleasure from the familiar act. Alec was rapidly losing control, he couldn't stop now even if he tried, and somewhere, late in the night, he heard himself cry her name, and at long last, she answered 'yes'.