Chapter four of Strength to Make it Through

"Want to meet at the Dot for dinner? –Eli"

I looked down at Eli's text and bit my lip. Of course I wanted to have dinner with my boyfriend, but I didn't know if I would be able to keep this a secret from him for very long. Yet, it had been such a long time since we had any real time alone together and I missed him. After what happened with Asher and keeping it form Eli, I didn't know how he forgave me. Would he be able to forgive me for this secret also?

"Ugh." I slammed my head against the cars head rest.

"Wow, be careful. You already have one brain problem, you don't need another one." Bianca basically accused me from her seat behind the wheel.

"Sorry," I said softly.

"What is it now," she rolled her eyes again for the sixth time since I go in her car. It was really starting to annoy me. A part of me kept thinking that she was doing it because she knew that it bothered me.

"It's nothing."

"Yeah, sure," Another eye roll. "Just tell me."

"Eli wants to have dinner, but I am horrible at keeping secrets. I might just blurt out that I have cancer to him while eating fries or passing the ketchup."

"Didn't you keep a secret from him for months?" Bianca asked, glancing at me from the driver's seat.

I glared at her, "That was different."

"Yeah, sure." This time I didn't get an eye roll. Instead I got a snort.

"Like you've never lied to a boyfriend," I accused crossing my arms.

I could see that she was about to argue, but she dropped it with a shrug. "Just keep the conversation on the play. You'll have him talking for most of dinner if you ask the right questions. If he runs out of things to say about it, ask how his parents are, if he heard anything new with Adam or Fiona or something like that. Maybe you could talk about a class assignment that you have coming up. Keep that up until you are in the car, then gush about how much fun you had or something you did or saw or read today. Then put the pressure back on him and ask him when you are going to go out again and what you would do on your next date."

I stared at her with my mouth hanging open in awe. "I can tell that you've had some practice in this kind of stuff."

Bianca smirked, "A little."

I laughed and pulled out my phone to send Eli a text saying that I couldn't wait for out date.

"Anyways, do you know what medicine you need to pick up?" I pulled the pink paper out of my pocket and looked at it.

It looked like chicken scratch to me.

We were at a red light and Bianca leaned over to look at it with me. "Ugh, doctors always write like a two year old." I couldn't disagree with that complaint.

When we got to the Pharmacy, I needed to verify that it was really me who was getting the prescription. I guess because my picture ID wasn't enough apparently. The pharmacist asked me all these questions from where I lived, to my age and then my mother's maiden name. In the middle of the interrogation, Bianca walked away from the desk, only to turn and ask me if I wanted something to drink. I told her water would be nice.

By the time I answered all the questions correctly and the pharmacist was happy with the answers, it felt like an hour had passed. I sat in the waiting chairs next to the blood pressure test that I hated. A person sticks their arm into it and it nearly takes the arm off by squeezing it tightly. It was loads of fun.

Bianca sat next to me with h a loud 'plop'. Silently she handed me my water and opened a huge bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos. "Want some?" she asked, extending the bag to me.

"Did you pay for them?"

Another eye roll. She pulled out a receipt from her pocket and handed it to me. "And here I thought we had trust," Bianca fake pouted.

I ignored her and ate a few chips while we waited for my medication. There was a silence between Bianca and me but it wasn't uncomfortable. I didn't feel the need to fill the silence with useless conversation. By the time the pharmacist called my name, Bianca and I had eaten half of the bag. It happens when you skip lunch.

"Let me see that," Bianca demanded as soon as we got into the car. I opened the bag and pulled out the pill bottle. She glanced at it and read out loud, "Take four pills a day with food. Next prescription refill is in two weeks." Yay, I thought sarcastically.

"So, you ready for your date?"

Not really. "Of course I am."

For that lie, I got a snort and an eye roll. Big improvement.

….

…..

I hate awkward silences. I always feel like the person who needs to make conversation, all the pressure is on me to amuse the other person. Why couldn't this be like the comfortable silence I experienced with Bianca earlier? The worse awkward silence is when you know the person sitting across from you and yet you have nothing to say. Even worse than that is when the person is your boyfriend.

"So," I said with a forced smile. "How was practice?"

Eli took a sip of his iced tea, "It was okay. Tristan keeps refusing to kiss Cave though." Eli rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"I can understand where Tristan is coming from. If I were in his position, I wouldn't want to kiss some guy who has a girlfriend."

"When you put it that way, I can hardly argue." Eli said with a Smirk. Man, I had missed his smirk. It seemed like forever since I had seen it. Ever since the Asher thing, Eli hadn't been smirking that much and I didn't realize how much I missed it until this moment, when I finally got to see it again.

Spinner appeared next to us with a note pad in hand and a friendly smile to me.

"Hey Clare, how are you?" Spinner has always been nice to me. He was Darcy's first boyfriend and he was my favorite of her exes. Whenever he came over to our house he would side with me when it came to picking movies to watch or food to order in and what games we were going to play for the night. It would make Darcy mad, but I think that was part of the reason why chose my side.

"I'm good. How have you been?" I smiled at him. This wasn't a forced smile, for Spinner Mason, they were always real.

"I've been good. Emma and I got that new house," He smiled proudly.

"That's great Spin. I'm going that have to come over and see it when you're all done settling in."

Spinner laughed, "That's a given."

I looked at Eli and noticed that he raised his eyebrow and was looking between us in suspicion. "Oh, sorry." I said with a nervous laugh. "Spinner, this is Eli Goldsworthy. He is my boyfriend. Eli, this Gavin Mason, my brother."

Eli seemed shocked at the way I introduced Spin to him, but he recovered quickly to shake Spinners hand when he held it out to him. "So you're the boyfriend." Spinner smirked evilly.

"Yes he is." I cut in quickly when I saw Eli return Spinners smirk. "And we're hungry." I said pointedly.

Spinner looked at me in amusement, "Right. Let me guess, you want the chicken strip wrap?"

I smiled at him brightly, "You know me so well."

Spinner laughed, "I should, I've been cooking for you four the past three years." He turned to Eli, "Do you know what you want?"

"I'll have the BLT." Spinner nodded and walked away. "Your brother," Eli questioned when Spinner was gone.

I smiled at him, "He was my sister's first boyfriend. He was my favorite out of the both of them."

"Why?"

I shrugged, "The little things I guess. He always remembers my birthday. I trust him with my life; probably because he's saved it a few times. He took me out for Halloween when my sister refused, and he always sided with me when we had a movie night at my house."

Eli looked at me shocked, "Saved your life a few times?"

Oh, did I say that out loud? Darn! Well, I can't just NOT tell him after that slip up. I sighed and played with my straw, "I almost got hit by a drunk driver who ran on to the sidewalk, but Spinner pulled me out of the way just in time. Once I went to the Ravine with Alli when we were in grade nine and I called him to walk me home." Eli knew that there was more, but I couldn't tell him the last one. This was a secret I was going to take with me to the grave. It was also the reason I would forever be grateful to Spinner.

"He sounds like a great guy," Eli muttered.

"He is. Not just to me either. He's like that with everyone." Eli only nodded and looked away deep in thought. "Hey," I reached over and placed my hand on top of his. "You have nothing to jealous about."

"I'm not jealous," Eli said with a glare but I saw the relief in his eyes.

I smiled at him, "Sure." Yet on the inside I was shocked. Didn't Eli know that he had nothing to worry about? I only wanted him; no one else. Whenever I look at another guy, I always compare them to Eli. I notice how they are either too talk or too short, that they never have the right eye color, that their smirk is all wrong. They're not Eli, the guy I was madly in love with. He's the only guy I dream about. The only guy I think about, write fanfictions about.

Eli Goldsworthy is my guy. He had absolutely nothing to worry about.

I smiled brightly at him and his face instantly brightened, "I love you."

"I love you too." Eli leaned over the table and I met him half way. Our kiss was chaste, but perfect.

A throat clearing made us pull apart and stop smiling at each other in a goofy way. Spinner smirked at us before setting out plates in front of us. I blushed as he winked at me and Eli laughed.

My phone vibrated and I picked it up.

"See? Nothing to worry about. –Bianca"

I smiled and sent a quick reply. "Yes you were. And thank you for being there for me today. It meant a lot to me. –Clare"

Just so you know: I am not throwing Spinner in here for no reason. He's actually going to be a big character in the later chapters.

Also, I am going to be putting a little spin on the story and make it TRULY my own. After all, it is a fan-FICTION!

I'm already working on the next chapter. But to get it, I need some reviews .