Chapter thirteen

It was loud.

It was too loud.

That was why I wasn't eating lunch in the cafeteria and walking the halls of Degrassi aimlessly. Actually, I wasn't eating at all…not yet at least. Alli had gone to pick us up sandwiches from the Dot. She should be back in a few minutes, but I could no longer take sitting in the lunch room with everyone laughing and joking around without a care in the world while I….while I had the weight of the world resting on my shoulders.

Having cancer sucked.

Feeling guilty over your friend being sent home because they were found with prescription medication in their locker felt worse.

Shaking my head, I made to walk past the front doors of Degrassi when a figure sitting on the steps caught my eye.

I pushed the doors open and made my way to sit next to my friend on the steps as he heaved a heavy sigh as he looked down at his cellphone.

"You hear anything from Drew?" I asked Adam as I plopped down on the step next to him. I took great care in folding my legs a certain way because I was wearing a nice dress and the length reached my knees but when I sat down it tended to ride up higher than you would think a dress this long could.

"No," Adam replied with another sign and unlocked his cell phone looking for a response from his older brother. I placed my hand on his arm and leaned my head on his shoulder to comfort him just as much as to comfort myself.

"I'm sorry," I told him softly. I couldn't help myself. The guilt was eating at me. I knew that Drew was only caught with his pills because of me. Someone must have tipped Mr. Simpson off about me having drugs in my locker.

The school only checked the upperclassman's lockers and this was highly different from all the other locker checks that have happened in the past. So tomorrow if there is not a locker check for the people in the lower classes, then I will be forced to take action and ask why it was that he chose to search the older student's lockers in the first place.

"It's not your fault," Adam and a voice behind us said at the same time. I turned my head to look at Bianca sitting down behind us with an eye roll. "He's already tested me telling me that I'm a horrible girlfriend."

I looked at her in honest shock, "why?"

"Because I didn't warn him about the locker search," Bianca rolled her eyes. "It's not like I knew that he had is medication in his locker in the first place."

"You knew that Clare did," Adam pointed out curiously.

"Yeah, cause I am the one that gets her to take her meds in the first place. Not my fault you don't pay attention to your friend and her little pill popping issue." Bianca told him snidely.

Adam opened his mouth looking like he was about to say something that might set Bianca off. "Can we not argue," I asked before Adam could say something in return. I really didn't need my friends fighting. It seemed like every times I turned around my friends were arguing. "I just want everything to calm down for once. Is that too much to ask for?"

Bianca rolled her eyes, "In this school?"

"Definitely," Adam answered Bianca's rhetorical question with a firm nod. Neither of them were joking even if it seemed like it.

I sighed and looked across the parking lot and saw Alli slowly making her way towards us. I knew from experience that once things calmed down here, worse things tended to happen. I found that out the hard way in grad nine. And again the next year.

So far, things were not too bad this year, but I knew that something big was coming. Past experience taught me this. I knew something was going to happen and it was going to happen soon. I could feel it. Taste it. Smell it. I was on the edge because of it, and I didn't even know what 'it' was!

Silence fell between the three us as Alli finally spotted us and started to make her way to us while caring a bag in one hand and fiddling with her phone in the other.

"So," Bianca started in a bored tone. "You see Jenna all giggly over her phone today?"

Adam and I looked at each other and then looked back at Bianca, "No, why?"

"Oh," she said like she was talking about the weather. "I think she has a boyfriend."

"A boyfriend?" Adam asked in shock and then shook his head, "Jenna would have bragged about it by now."

I looked down and thought about what Bianca just said. Jenna had been really wrapped up in her phone and she kept smiling every time she would get a new text message. Maybe it was possible for her to have a new boyfriend. Yes, Jenna was the type to brag about her conquests…but she was able to keep the whole Luke Baker and converting to Christianity for him a secret for a while. It could be possible.

"Maybe she is talking to Luke again?" Alli asked as she approached us. "It wouldn't be the first time that she went back to an ex."

I shrugged and nodded at Alli's words. This was true, Alli and I watched as Jenna would break up and make up with KC almost every week when they were together.

Alli dug into the bag and handed me my sandwich. I didn't feel hungry but it had been eight hours since I last ate… and that was a candy bar that I ended up giving half to Dallas because he was practically salivating over it.

I knew that I need to eat; and this time I was eating without Bianca harassing me!

I turned my body to face Adam as I unwrapped my sandwich and I locked eyes with Bianca and smirked at her in challenge as I took a bit out of my sandwich. I didn't know why I was look at her in challenge. I guess I was waiting for her to say something so that I could throw the fact that I was eating in her face viciously.

Bianca didn't say anything, which was annoying. What made me mad was the fact that she cocked her head to the side and watched me with amusement. It was like I was a little kids showing her that I knew how to draw a picture of a sun and she was just appeasing me.

With a huff, I turned around and smiled at Alli as she passed me a drink.

"I don't think that Jenna is dating Luke," Adam said as he rummaged in his backpack before he found his own lunch and began to eat. "I saw him flirting with that new redheaded cheerleader this morning."

Just then I spotted familiar blond hair flying across the parking lot; it was almost as if the three of us talking about her had magically conjured her up. I quickly gestured in Jenna's direction so that the other three could see what I was seeing to.

Jenna approached a car and quickly got into the passenger side before the car drove off. I couldn't see who was in the car, but I was sure that whoever it was didn't go to Degrassi.

"Did anyone see who was in the car," Bianca demanded to know and I saw Alli and Adam both shake their head along with me. "Great, just when we get to the good stuff," Bianca pouted and crossed her arms over her chest.

I rolled my eyes at her childish antics.

As the other three started to talk about other things, I was left with my thoughts:

Who was Jenna seeing?

Did they have something do with her new attitude?

Becky Baker, friend of foe?

Was Asher following me?

Would he try to hurt me?

Could this new doctor really help me?

Can this man really help me fight cancer and save me life?

I didn't know what was going to happen next, but I knew that it was going to be big and I was a little afraid of what was to come. But I learned from a young age, watching Darcy deal with her big problems, which you could never run away from then. They were always there and they will follow you. Unlike my beloved sister, I am not going to let them get to me.

I am going to fight back.

Please don't hate me for how long it took to update. I just wanted to update because I've been meaning to and I think I am ready to start writing seriously again!