JENNIE
"No, not that one. Put on the red dress." Ella shakes her head while I'm standing in front of the mirror, inspecting my navy pantsuit.
"But it's a bit much, don't you think?"
"No." She grabs it from the pile of dresses I've laid out on the bed and holds it up in front of me. "I love this dress. The satin fabric, the thigh high slit… It's your birthday, you're supposed to shine."
"I'm forty now. I'm wilting, not shining," I joke.
"That's total bull. You're a kick-ass yummy mummy and you should show off that amazing body of yours," Ella insists. "I'll be wearing red too, so we can match."
I laugh at that because Ella has never been one for matching outfits. In fact, I haven't seen her in much other than her trademark jeans, hoodies and T-shirts lately. "You want to match?"
"Yeah, it will be fun."
"Okay, then." I take the dress from her that is still in the dry-cleaner's bag and rip off the plastic cover. I haven't worn it since the charity ball I bought it for two years ago.
"And don't forget the red lipstick. You always look amazing with red lipstick," Ella adds.
"You still haven't told me where we're going," I say. "How will I know if it's even appropriate?"
"You're just going to have to trust me on that. Don't you want to show the world how awesome you're doing and how amazing you look?" Ella winks. "What if we bump into Dad and Yeji?"
"We won't, will we?" I frown. "Seriously, Ella, just tell me where we're going."
"Honestly, we might see them there. But you told me you'd talked to him and that you both hoped you could be friends again someday." She looks a little nervous now, and I regret my sharp tone.
"You're right. I did say that." I smile and playfully mess up her freshly styled hair, just to get back at her for whatever is coming. I have no idea what she's up to but I'm not entirely at ease and can only hope that she hasn't organized an intimate dinner with her father and his new girlfriend in the spirit of family harmony. "But there's no competition between myself and Yeji and as you very well know, I have no interest in your father anymore, so I don't need to impress either of them," I say. "I'm happy and I finally feel like I'm growing into myself."
"I know." Ella helps me strip off the navy suit and helps me into the red dress. "You're growing into the very best lesbian you can be but there's no need for suits just yet," she teases, then zips the dress up. She looks in the mirror over my shoulder and smiles. "Perfect."
The red dress fits me very well and I actually feel good and confident wearing it. Suddenly a thought hits me, and I turn around to stare at her. "You didn't invite my mother over, did you? Since you so desperately want to dress me up?"
Ella laughs. "No, I didn't. I thought about inviting Grandma, but I figured if I did, she would stay for at least a week and I know how stressful it is to have her over. Anyway, even if I had invited her, I'm not sure if she'd have come since she'd have had to be parted from the cats…"
"Thank goodness, good call." I put an arm around Ella and place a kiss on her cheek. "How about we visit her instead? I'll look at flights to Lebanon next week. Want to come along in your summer break?"
"Sure. Why not? As long as you make her promise not to play matchmaker for me. I hate it when she does that."
"She won't; your grandmother promised never to invite eligible men ever again while you're there."
"Good. Then I'll come." Ella fusses with my hair, re-arranging some of the long locks to fall over my bare shoulders. There's a knock on the door, and she jumps to attention. "That will be your birthday present. Wait here, I'll be right back."
"Another birthday present?" I frown as I follow her to the door. "But you've already spoilt me so—" I fall silent when I see James and his girlfriend, Maddie, in the doorway.
"Surprise!" they yell in unison.
"No!" I say, my eyes widening before they fill with tears. I fall around James's neck and hug him so tight that he grunts in discomfort. "You're here! I can't believe you're here!" Then I turn to Maddie. "And you too. Come here, sweetheart."
"Of course we came." James pulls his girlfriend into a three-way hug. "It's your fortieth and I've missed you, Mom." The emotional tremble in his voice is real and it makes me break out in floods of tears. "Don't cry," he says, wiping my tears. "You'll smudge your makeup and you look fantastic."
"I don't care about my makeup." I sniff. "I'm just so happy you're here."
"We're staying for a week, if that's okay," Maddie says. "Then we'll go visit my parents before finding a place to settle down in New York. We both desperately need to start selling; we've worked our way through our travel savings, but we've shipped three containers of goods over so at least we're good to go."
"I was wondering when you'd run out of money with all the fun stuff you've been doing." I smile at James. "So you've had a good time?" I ask, ushering them into our hotel room.
"We had an amazing time," he says. "And fifteen dollars a day goes a long way in India. We've slept in huts and hammocks and spent all our time outdoors."
"I can tell. You both look so radiant and healthy. And what a nice shirt." James is wearing a white and light blue checked shirt and white chinos that match Maddie's light-blue peplum dress. It's hard to stop touching James as I still can't believe he's here, and Ella laughs when I hug him once more.
"I'm glad you're happy with your present," she says, kissing me on the cheek. "Help yourselves to a drink from the minibar, guys. I'll get changed and then we can have an early dinner together before we go out."
The Montauk Spa Hotel is situated at the very tip of the peninsula, and we're dining on the beautiful terrace that is built into the cliffs. Looking out over the ocean, our table is shaded by a white lace canopy that lets a sliver of light through, creating sweet floral shapes on the wooden table and the concrete floor. It seems that we're on a schedule today, but Ella has worked in plenty of time for our early dinner so that we can catch up and hear all about James and Maddie's adventures.
"It's a good thing you didn't fill me in on everything you've been getting up to while you were away," I say after he's finished telling the story of them being attacked and mugged by monkeys when they decided to sleep on the beach. "I'd have been worried sick."
"We got back just fine," James says cheerfully. "Just a couple of small scratches to remember our time in India by." He attacks his seafood pasta like he hasn't eaten in weeks. "Mmm… I've missed pasta so much. I'm going to eat it all day, every day this week."
"Me too." Maddie is equally delighted with the food, sharing a big plate of lobster ravioli with Ella. "I had a slice of pizza as soon as we landed. Carbs was all I could think of."
"I'll make sure I'll have plenty of everything in the house then." Topping up the wine, I feel a surge of happiness at sitting here in this beautiful spot with both my children, and my birthday could not get any better. Well, apart from maybe having Lisa here, but James still has no idea. "So, what else?" I ask, taking a bite from my pan-fried seabass with asparagus that pairs perfectly with the oaked chardonnay we ordered. "Did you make any friends on the way?"
"Friends for life," he says. "We met so many nice people but enough about us now. I want to know how you've been. You look great, Mom. Happy even, dare I say it."
"Thank you. I'm doing great, actually."
"She is doing great." Ella looks up from her food and shoots me a wink. "Is there anything you'd like to share, Mom?"
I stare at Ella and swallow hard, knowing exactly what she's hinting at. "I'm not sure if now is a good time, honey." This seemed easy when I planned it. In my mind, I've told James I'm gay a thousand times but now that Ella's put me on the spot, I'm nervous.
James and Maddie stare at me too, and James arches a brow. "What? Does Ella know something we don't?" He grins when color suffuses my cheeks. "Why are you blushing? Did you meet a man?"
"Not exactly," I say, taking a long drink of my wine for courage.
"Then what?"
"I ehm…" I focus on my food, buying time, but James taps his fingers impatiently on the table, staring at me and I have no choice. "I met a woman." My heart is racing while I await his reaction. In the silence that follows, I expect him to either burst out laughing or storm up and leave, but instead he drops his cutlery and leans in on his elbows, his expression turning serious.
"You're not joking, are you?"
"No, I'm not. Her name is Lisa and I'm in love with her. We're dating."
"Wow, Jennie. That's so cool," Maddie finally says, regarding me with a weird kind of interest. I'm relieved to see that she's not faking it; she looks genuinely happy for me. Surprised perhaps, but happy nevertheless. "Good for you." She nudges James. "Well, aren't you going to say something?"
James chuckles. "Sorry, but you're my mom and I didn't expect this, so please give me at least a minute to process."
"Of course. Are you upset?" I ask in a trembling voice.
"No, not at all." James shakes his head. "So, you're with a woman?"
"Yes."
He sits back and regards me. "Well, I'm so happy that you've moved on and met someone. I've been hoping you would, I just didn't ever think it would be with a woman."
"Yeah, that was me two months ago," Ella says to him. "I was shocked, probably way more than you are right now because I walked in on Mom and—"
"Hey, enough," I say, shooting her a warning look.
"Sorry." She laughs it off and I know I'll never hear the end of this. "Anyway, Lisa's really nice and she's got a super cute four-year-old daughter."
"You've met her?" James asks.
"Yeah, we—" Ella stops herself and shakes her head as if she was about to say something she shouldn't. "Mom and I ran into her in Sag Harbor."
"Okay." James still looks puzzled, but he reaches for my hand over the table and squeezes it. "Does anyone else know?"
"Just Ella, your father and Chahee. I wanted you to know before I told anyone else."
"Dad knows? Jesus, I can only imagine his reaction."
"Yes, I won't deny that he was surprised."
James regards me again for long moments. "Can I meet her?"
"I want to meet her too. I'm beyond curious about this mysterious woman who stole my mother-in-law's heart," Maddie says in a teasing tone.
"You want to meet her?" I exhale deeply, relieved that James hasn't ran off like Ella did. Although the circumstances are entirely different, it still must be highly confusing for him. "Ella and I were actually going to have lunch with her tomorrow. Would you like to join us?" I pause. "Or is that too soon?"
"I don't see why we should wait," James says. "In fact, I'm dying with curiosity too."
"Okay. I'll let the restaurant know we're five instead of three." I smile and find myself more at ease now. "I'm sure you'll have lots of questions, so just ask me anything. I want to be honest with you."
"Sure." He lets out a long sigh and shakes his head again. "I still need to let this sink in but I'm happy for you, Mom. I really am."
Maddie, who doesn't seem daunted at all, raises her glass. "I think it's time for a toast," she says cheerfully through a mouthful of pasta. "Here's to Jennie and a fabulous year ahead. Happy birthday, dearest mother-in-law!"
