Day Ten, cont'd

Day Ten, cont'd

He dropped the phone from his hand, the idea of treating whatever condition she had paling in comparison to saving her from any immediate threat. Terrified by the idea that there was something physically wrong with her that the doctor hadn't found which he helped Olivia hide by taking her home, he raced to the bathroom door.

"Olivia?" His voice was high and panicked, but he held back from tearing through the door. Lack of modesty aside, she was in the shower and she'd been held prisoner and she'd just screamed bloody murder so he didn't know if he should burst in on her. He knocked softly, unwilling to startle her.

He didn't hear a response. "Liv?" He gave her another moment, praying she'd answer that everything was fine. But he got nothing. "I'm coming in, ok?" He wasn't expecting anything then, but he pushed the door open slowly, just in case she suddenly decided to issue a warning.

The bathroom was dark, blinding him while his eyes adjusted to the lack of light. "Liv?" He thought he heard something, but he couldn't be sure with the shower running. He pushed the door open further, allowing the light from the hall to illuminate the room, revealing only the closed shower curtain. "Are you ok?" Slightly more convinced that he was getting some sort of whimper as a response, he stepped forward and pulled the curtain away.

There was Olivia, his proud, strong, determined partner, huddled in the back of her bathtub. Her arms were wrapped around her middle, her legs pulled up to her chest, her face pressed into her knees. She was shaking, sobbing, whimpering.

"Jesus, Liv." He reached over, allowing the water to soak through his shirt as he turned off the shower. The moment the rush of the water subsided the air was filled with her cries, scared, pathetic whining. He squatted down, daring to reach for her since she seemed unable to even process his words. "I'm here, Liv. It's ok." His hand ran over her hair, his fingers catching in the wet strands.

She jerked at his touch, her whine growing louder momentarily. But then she seemed to recognize him, belatedly hearing his voice. "El?" Her voice was timid and her face remained stubbornly hidden from sight.

"Yeah, honey, it's me. You're safe, Liv." He wasn't sure what to do. She obviously needed more help than he knew how to provide, but he couldn't justify calling Huang to intercede. First of all, he knew she'd never forgive him when she got better for having made her face a coworker while she was hysterical and naked in her shower. Secondly, he didn't want to leave her sitting there like that long enough for Huang to get there anyway.

Yanking a towel off the rack, he reached out and tried to cover her. "Let's get you out of there, ok?" Her head bobbed in agreement, but that was all the indication she gave of complying. Without her help, he wouldn't be able to lift her while he was kneeling. He withdrew his hands, placing one at the side of the tub for balance.

Before he could move further, she reached out, clawing at the skin of his hand. "No!"

"You want to stay in the tub?" He couldn't keep the incredulity out of his voice, even as he realized her complaint had nothing to do with her physical location. Just as in the hospital, she was convinced he was going to leave her and she was desperate for him to stay. "Hey, it's ok, Liv. I'm not going anywhere."

She winced as she lifted her arms, her injured shoulder moving slower as her hands moved towards him. She didn't care that the towel he'd haphazardly placed around her had fallen free from her shoulders and was soaking up the remaining water around her. She didn't care that she was shaking and crying and giving away so much of herself in front of her partner. She didn't care that she was more exposed to Elliot's eyes than she'd ever been to Howie's.

It was clear that all she wanted was to be back in Elliot's arms and he had no desire to deny her. And he sure as hell didn't give a shit what she was wearing.

He leaned forward again, reaching one arm around her back and one under her knees, ignoring his muscles' cries of protest from the uncomfortable angle. He managed to lift her over the side of the tub which allowed him to collapse back into the wall with Olivia in his lap. Knowing he had a few fresh bruises from it and pretty sure she probably did too, he carefully adjusted her so he could cradle her against him.

There was one towel left on the rack and he used that one to drape over body, hoping to keep her from getting cold. She either didn't notice or didn't care. She only burrowed her face into his neck, using her good arm to secure herself to his torso.

He closed his eyes and rocked her slowly, shushing her hiccupping sobs, promising her that everything was going to be fine. He felt like a shit for lying to her, knowing full well that with her mental state he had absolutely no guarantee that anything would ever be fine. But it wasn't something she needed to hear and it wasn't something he wanted to say.

Several long minutes had passed before her sobs started to subside and he spent the time rubbing her back and returning all the pressure of her embrace. Finally she seemed to be settled down, her sobs fading into quiet tears that were slowing somewhat. He leaned down, pressing a kiss against her forehead.

"Feel like telling me what happened?"

She nodded against him, her face turning out from his shoulder so she could speak. "I don't know. It was just dark all of a sudden." She lifted her head, looking at the light switch. "I guess the bulb burned out."

He looked in the same direction, reaching up to flip the switch off and then back on. Nothing happened. "Yeah, how's that for timing?"

Her hand knotted around his shirt, holding fast. "It was dark and I was alone and I got scared. I thought maybe you'd left me there again."

Elliot's eyes pressed closed as he tried to force back the shudder that wanted to run through him. His arms tucked around her and held her tight. "I never left you there, Liv."

She shook her head. "Yes, you did. You'd be there and then you'd leave. I never knew when you'd be back."

"Liv, I wasn't there. Howie had you for a week and I spent the whole damn time tearing the city apart looking for you."

Her body tensed, telling him he'd said the wrong thing. She didn't give him a chance to fix his mistake. He knew better than to try to hold her still when she twisted out of his arms. Rather than the helpless, terrified woman he'd started seeing glimpses of, Olivia had changed back into the partner he knew. She didn't even look at him while she wrapped the towel around herself, ran her fingers through her hair and plugged in her blow dryer.

He watched silently from his soaked spot on the floor as she realized she couldn't work the brush and dryer at the same time with her sore shoulder, but he didn't offer to help. He wasn't looking at the person he'd had to help dress anymore. No, he was staring at the woman who'd shave her head sooner than ask someone for help to dry it.

She glanced in his direction, but didn't meet his eyes. "Was there something you needed?"

He wanted to be understanding. He wanted to understand. Instead he pulled himself to his feet and shrugged, realizing too late that getting angry wouldn't help anything. "No. Give me a call if another light burns out." He stomped past her, feeling very much like a four-year-old as he pouted. He'd never been fond of mood swings, although he was very familiar with them after his years of marriage as Kathy's mood changed more often than the weather.

But Olivia wasn't a thing like Kathy and he didn't like the sudden personality change. Keeping an ear on the dryer because he was certain she'd freak out if she overheard him, he picked up his phone from where he'd dropped it and called Huang. Much like his partner, Elliot didn't like asking for help, but he could admit when he was in over his head, especially when not getting help could have long-lasting detrimental effects on Olivia.

He opted to believe it was a stroke of luck that he got Huang's voice mail. He wasn't exactly feeling up to chatting with the doctor, not when he thought about his inability to keep things to himself. He left a message that clearly explained how much Olivia was in need of a house call.

And in keeping with his newly discovered penchant for attracting good luck, he'd already hung up when Olivia plopped down beside him on the couch. She'd changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt and pulled her bare feet up onto the sofa between them. Her smile gave no indication of the way she'd thrown him out of the bathroom minutes earlier.

She cocked her head to the side as she reached for the television remote. "I've got a serious craving for Chinese food. You hungry?" Her face didn't even turn to him as she flipped through several channels.

Unsure of what to say and unwilling to start an argument by offering any resistance, he nodded. "Sure, I could go for Chinese."

She finally settled on a news channel before tossing a smile vaguely in his direction. "Good, then you won't mind paying for it, right?"

With a groan, he shook his head at their long-standing shtick regarding who was financially responsible for their meals. "Gee, how did I know that was coming?"

Her eyes met his, a smile spreading across her face as she winked. "Maybe cause you at least owe me dinner after that little incident in the crib."

It was the second time she'd thrown a completely casual remark at him about the way they'd fucked. It was the second time she'd revealed that she was more comfortable with what had happened than he was.

Even knowing she was evidently ok with what had happened, he still wasn't ready to talk about it. So he picked up his phone again, taking it with him into the kitchen to find the number for her favorite Chinese restaurant. He didn't bother to ask her what she wanted; he'd known her order for years. Just as he was hanging up, another called came in. Huang was calling to let him know that he was a few minutes away and that he'd be happy to talk to Olivia.

Elliot sat down on the sofa once again, unable to broach the subject of her impending psychoanalysis. Not when Olivia looked so content and relaxed. Not when Olivia was letting him see her stretched out with her head pillowed on her forearm. Not when Olivia had straightened her legs, tucking her feet into his lap. Unwilling to disturb the peaceful moment, he watched her while she watched the news, waiting for the knock at the door that might ruin everything.