Day Ten, cont'd

Three sharp taps on the door broke through the quiet monotone voice of the newscaster. While Elliot groaned inwardly, Olivia jumped to her feet, paying no mind to the fact that his hands had been caressing the skin of her feet and ankles.

"Food's here!"

Elliot wasn't even sure she was talking to him. For the moment, he was distracted from the thought of who besides the delivery man could be at the door. He was concentrating on the fact that he'd been trying to make some inroads toward intimacy with her when she wasn't sobbing and he'd mistakenly thought that she was accepting the overture by her lack of protest. But the way she'd jumped up at the knock indicated that she hadn't even noticed.

"Are you moonlighting as a delivery guy now? FBI's not paying what it used to?"

Dejected at the idea that Olivia could ignore his touch when he was always acutely aware of her, Elliot only half heard the words at first. But they sunk in, leaving Elliot slightly nauseated as he joined Olivia at the door to face Huang. He tried to force a smile. "Thanks for coming, George."

Huang nodded, staying in the hallway outside while he tried to read Olivia's face. "It's good to see you, Olivia."

Elliot, on the other hand, wasn't having any trouble whatsoever reading his partner's body language. The woman who had moments earlier been draped across his lap was furious, tension radiating off her in waves. His expression was much clearer to Huang, who shrank back a step. He tried to explain away Olivia's mood. "Liv was hoping for the Chinese." Ignoring his partner when she was mad at him was never a good idea, but as usual, no better ideas came to him.

Huang smiled. "Sorry, wrong Chinese guy."

Without a word, Olivia turned around and went back to the couch to sulk. Elliot wasn't sure if it was purely because a psychiatrist had shown up at her door or if some of her anger had to do with the fact that she was still without food.

Elliot frowned, stepping back to allow Huang entrance. "I didn't exactly mention inviting you."

"I doubt she would have been happier if you had mentioned it." Huang stepped into the room and shrugged his jacket off his shoulders. "Don was considerably upset to find out you guys slipped out the back door of the hospital."

"She was begging. What was I supposed to do?" He didn't bother trying to come up with a better explanation for his behavior. Huang already knew better and Elliot didn't see any point in wasting the energy until he was face to face with Cragen and trying to save their jobs.

Setting his jacket down on the chair by the door, Huang offered an understanding nod. "Not that I can really imagine Olivia begging for anything, but I can easily picture exactly how quickly you'd fold under that strain."

With a chuckle, Elliot glanced over his shoulder at Olivia. She was staring at the TV, her displeasure still palpable from across the room. He turned back to Huang. "So, would you like something to drink?"

"No, thanks." Huang gestured toward Olivia, but Elliot had no idea what he meant to convey.

"How should this work? Do you want me to tell you what's going on or do you want to talk to us together?"

Huang's brow tensed, revealing hesitation. "Actually, I'd like to speak with her alone first. I know you mentioned that she's possibly having panic attacks, but I'd really prefer to interact with her and come to a diagnosis that way."

Elliot winced visibly. He wasn't terribly surprised by Huang's suggestion; on the contrary, it was pretty much what he'd expected. The issue was that Olivia, despite any disagreement she was having with him, didn't seem to do very well without him. In fact, she had only been willing to be without him twice since he'd found her and one of those situations, her shower, had gone very badly indeed. He waved vaguely in Olivia's direction. "It's up to her, really. Whatever she wants."

Huang looked pained, as though it was difficult to have to break it down enough to make Elliot understand. "I can't say that she'll speak freely with me if you're there, Elliot." He shrugged. "Not that she'll necessarily speak freely with me anyway."

"I understand that. It's just-" He looked over his shoulder again, seeing that Olivia's fury had given way to a bit of curiosity and found her looking back at them. He tried to smile at her before he looked back at Huang. "She doesn't seem to take it well when I leave her for any length of time."

Her voice was beside him so suddenly that he jumped. "Are you guys just going to stand here and talk about me or what?"

"What makes you think we were talking about you?" Elliot tried his best to appear innocent, but usually, that wound up making him look guiltier.

"Because you kept looking at me."

Huang stepped to the side, making room for the other Chinese man who'd just arrived. While Elliot was paying him, Huang spoke to Olivia. "Is there somewhere you'd feel comfortable talking?"

Olivia snatched the bag from Elliot. "No. I'm hungry."

"Liv, you're going to have to talk to someone before you go back to work. You might as well do it with the Chinese in the comfort of your own living room." Elliot didn't want to press the subject that she clearly needed to talk to someone because it would undoubtedly upset her.

She didn't glance up from the bag of food she was pawing through. "How come you don't have to get counseling? You were there too."

With a dejected sigh, Elliot shook his head and snagged the bag from her. "Which is exactly why the doctor made a house call. I wasn't there, Liv."

Olivia glared at him as she continued fishing through the bag in Elliot's hand, trying to find something besides the two containers already in her hand. "Yes, you were."

"No, Liv-" He was prepared, likely due to the presence of a licensed healthcare professional, to argue the point with her. "We've been through this before. I was not there."

Her attention was suddenly diverted from the food as she glared at him and spoke through clenched teeth. "Yes. You. Were."

Elliot opened his mouth again, shaking his head firmly, refusing to give in to her delusion no matter how much he wanted to agree with her and go back to sitting on the couch with her legs in his lap. "Listen to me, Liv, I-"

Huang caught Elliot's eyes, shaking his head furiously.

He hadn't been expecting Huang to side with Olivia and therefore, rather than continuing to speak, Elliot's mouth simply fell open. He glanced at his partner who was still staring at him, waiting for him to say something, and then checked with Huang again.

Huang was slightly more helpful than Olivia's angry stare, mouthing 'agree with her' at him.

He was completely unsure as he cleared his throat, digging deep to find his voice. "Yeah, ok, whatever you say, Liv."

Olivia was as confused by Elliot's sudden change of heart as Elliot had been at Huang's advice. She looked back and forth between the two men for several seconds before she shrugged and patted Huang on the back. "I'm going to keep you around all the time." Not wanting to chance any additional discussion, she took her food back to the living room and spread it out on the coffee table.

Although Olivia had been happy to accept Huang's interference, Elliot was not. "What the fuck was that? I'm just supposed to let her believe some crazy shit about how I was there with her the whole time? I asked you to help, not make her a fucking lunatic."

Huang held up his head to stave off any further verbal assault. "It's a defense mechanism, Elliot. If she were capable of dealing with the facts, she would."

"But she'll never deal with the facts if she doesn't know what they are." The idea didn't sit right with him, but he still trusted Huang more than he cared to admit.

"Until I can assess her, I think it's best to leave her defenses intact. Let me see what I can get out of her."

Elliot shrugged. "You better know what you're doing." He didn't mean to threaten his friend, god knew after the way he'd acted during the last week he didn't have that many left. He offered the rest of the bag to Huang. "She'll probably want the rest of this in two minutes."

Huang accepted the bag and moved into the living room, approaching Olivia slowly, smiling at her. "Is it ok if we talk while you eat?"

She nodded absentmindedly as she picked through one of the cartons with her fork. But then, without warning, she dropped the food and jumped off the couch, practically sprinting back to Elliot's side. "You're not leaving, are you?" Her hands were gripping his shirt, as though she might convince him to stay by clawing at him.

"No, I'm not leaving. I'm just going to be in the kitchen while you guys talk, ok?" His hand moved to her cheek, the desire to reassure her overwhelming any embarrassment he might feel for touching her in front of a witness, even when the witness was quite obviously studying their interaction.

"I don't want you to leave. Not yet, ok?" She was quiet, but her voice held a frantic note to it that scared him.

He shook his head as he reached his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. "I'm not leaving you, Liv. I'm not going anywhere." It struck him then, even more than it had earlier, how devastated she was by what had happened to her. Because, although they were rare, there had been the occasional moment in their history when Olivia had let her guard down in front of him, when she had allowed him to be her strength, when she had let him see how deep her emotions ran. But she was never like that with strangers, nor with friends. Her coworkers were not privy to her feelings. Everything that Olivia let people see was carefully measured and analyzed. Control was her protection.

And letting Huang, a coworker, a friend, a psychiatrist, see her clinging to Elliot out of the fear that he might leave her alone, was an unmistakable sign that things were far from ok with her.