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James POV

Look at him. Look. At. Him.

He thinks he's so. Damn. Hot.

"Prongs?"

I grunt. This is the most I can muster as of now.

"James." It's Remus now, trying to get my attention. I shall tend to them in one moment. I preoccupy myself with the way McDaniel's brown hair stirs even when he doesn't move, as if some supernatural force is acting on him. Git.

"If you're trying to jinx him, try doing it verbally," Sirius suggested. I borrowed one second of my glaring at McDaniel to glare at my best friend. Then I quickly turned back to my target, who was looking at me with inquisitive blue eyes.

I wrinkle my nose. So does he. I raise my eyebrows. He mirrors me. I can feel my friends watching this silent exchange, and I can sense their exasperation. McDaniel's amusement was so palpable, I could run a knife right through it, and through his thin body.

Or maybe he wasn't mocking me. Perhaps I should feel flattered. Perhaps I'm an idiot. I glower at him for one healthy minute before turning hotly to meet the concerned irises of my buds.

"What's the point of the prank if you're trying to traumatize him already?' Sirius asks me airily, cutting apart his lamb roast with his teeth.

"Just want to scare him, warm him up," I said, grabbing a cup of pumpkin juice, trying to shake off the git's smothering blue eyes that were like a child's. Can't feel pity or show any weaknesses now.

"So what are going to do?" Remus asked interestedly, cutting his own lamb with a fork and knife. I smile a little at the dramatic contrast of Pad and Moony.

I shrugged, but my mind was already deep with several, colorful ideas that were literally keeping me awake at night.

"McDaniel looks pretty calm, if you ask me," Peter said before chugging a whole jug of juice. "And Evans is looking at his direction." This made me glance at Lily, who was trying to look casual and light, looking over at the Ravenclaw table. I growl. I looked around at the brainiest table in the Great Hall to see if there was any other person, anyone else at all that would catch her eye; all I see is McDaniel, this ugly bloke named Fergus Fabio, and this other male who was nibbling on his spoon with a dreamy look.

"She fancies McDaniel, look at her!" I whisper hoarsely. "Let's kick the plan into action now!"

"What plan?" Remus asked.

"Just do it!" I screech, slamming my bread onto the table angrily and stalking off to the door so I don't have to witness Remus's ignorance and Lily's lovesick daze which makes me, well…sick.

When I walk around, I never just walk in one continuous, boring pattern. Especially when I think. I whiz by fast, pretending I'm on my broom in the glorious wind. Or I tip toe surreptitiously as if I'm spying on Lily. Or I just walk normally, semi-strut, semi-lazy, like I do when I walk to class. Then there are times, in random intervals during a long walk like this one, that I walk like I have a stick up my arse, because for some reason, it makes me think better. I think it's the way my spine is all lined up with my neck and it just - everything just flows better.

I take out my wand and casually twirl it around my fingers, thinking about what I could do that would send McDaniel flying, crying, or - no, not dying - but, paralyzed for approximately three weeks.

I remember initially thinking it had something to do with a broom, a bird, and a jinx. Hm. I could get Hagrid's baby hippogriff and make McDaniel insult it. A hippogriff is a bird…somewhat. An ugly horse? It's close to a bird, at least.

The broom…I could challenge him to a race (which I would win, even with my Shitting Star) and do a Wronksi Feint and send him flying headfirst into the hippogriff.

A jinx? I could jinxthe broom to crash into the said hippogriff.

I keep strolling along, now with a slight hop in my step, winking at some portrait ladies looking very dashing in their bland outfits that I see everyday. Isn't there some kind of Portrait Maintenance Service for them? Portrait…Maintenance…

Merlin….never mind. Don't need any more PMS here.

"Hey James," a hear a female voice say as she bounced right on by.

"Hello," I said distractedly. Then I looked back. "Hey! Wait!" The girl looked back at me and I ran back and said hello again to Justine.

"Hi," she said with a small smile. She was cute, with her blond hair and stuff. Big stuff, I think as I give her my famous lopsided smile.

"How are you doing?" I drawl huskily.

"Fine," she said slowly, smirking and turning her head to the side, keeping eye contact with her blue eyes.

I nearly had a stroke.

"Stop following me you old bleeder!" I holler at her, and she looked frightened, but all I wanted was to get the hell away from her, and I race down the corridor like my arse was on fire.

"Get away!" I still keep yelling, even though the blond was more than a few hundred yards away. "Get awa - oof!"

I looked down, and Sirius is under me, looking positively peeved. He blew his hair out of his eyes and glared at me.

I smile crookedly, and slowly got off of him, wondering how he caught up to me so quickly.

"What," Sirius started coolly, "the fuck," he emphasized, dusting off his pants, "was that about?"

"I think I called Justine an old bleeder," I told him with a serious look on my face.

Sirius just looked at me as if my brain was currently stewing in a bubbling cauldron that Snape brewed.

"You did - I'm sorry - what was that?" Sirius asked leaning in, incredulous. "Justine?" he hissed. "The blond babe from Hufflepuff?" His eyebrows comically formed one line.

I chuckled. "You have a unibrow." Sirius couldn't help but crack a smile and relax his face. Then he quickly sobered. "Why the hell would you blow off Justine? If this is about Evans -"

"It wasn't Justine though, I swear!"

"Oh?"

"It was McDaniel!"

"McDaniel," he repeated flatly. He must not think very highly of me now.

"Listen, Pad, I'm just as bewildered as you are," I said.

Sirius blinked rapidly before abruptly turning on his heels and started walking away from me.

"I've got a plan," I said brightly, and he turned around with a lazy smile on his face.

"Let's get Moony and Wormtail."

---

"So then the hippogriff, the jinx, and the broom! See how it all goes together so well?"

Peter, Sirius, and Remus looked at me, dumbstruck.

"I know! It's brilliant!" I exclaimed.

Remus was the first to come out of his stupor…I was starting to get worried.

"You're going to harm a creature, for your own selfish purposes?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I'm not too crazy over it. Not one of your better ones, James," Peter agreed. Sirius just looked confused.

"So you want McDaniel to stick his head in a hippogriff's arse after being on an accelerated broom headed straight at it? Sounds alright to me. A tad crude, but hey, McDaniel is after his woman, right?" he said, smiling, already formulating the plan in his head. (I can tell).

"Okay, Moony and Wormtail, what if we use Padfoot instead?"

"I'm sorry?" Sirius spluttered in disbelief. You want that Ravenclaw to stick his head up my -"

"No, no," I said, sighing. "Padfoot, not you." Duh.

I had to use my exceptional Quidditch reflexes to dodge Sirius's fist.

"Enough joking," Remus said sternly. He looked at me with that look that reminds me so much of my Transfiguration teacher, the teacher we all know and learn to love - McGonagall!

"We're not going to use your plan."

Peter looked at me with his watery eyes.

"Why not? I told you, we don't have to use the bird."

Remus frowned at me. "Why don't you do something simple?"

"I want it to be extravagant."

"Like shove a Ravenclaw up my arse," Sirius muttered dryly.

"Okay, Padfoot, I was only joking, but if you must make a big deal about it…" I didn't know what to say after that. "Anyway, I said I wanted to do that, but it doesn't look like that will be the case. You're too difficult," I said, specifically to Remus who looked weary.

"I HAVE AN IDEA!" Sirius howled.

"Will you keep your voice down?" I hissed. After my idea was rejected so harshly, I wasn't in any mood to compromise.

"It's top secret," he whispered. After a pause, in which Moony picked his teeth and Peter complained about being hungry, I reminded Sirius to tell us.

"Wait," Remus suddenly said after flicking the tooth pick away.

"What?"

"Someone's coming up," he said. I wasn't surprised that I had no hope of confirming this with my own ears. His ears are far superior to our normal, human ones. He jokes a lot about it being one of the perks of being a werewolf.

Rap. Rap.

"Reveal yourself!" Sirius barked. Peter nervously went to his bed.

"It's me," a light, feminine voice told us. My jaw dropped. My love!

"Lily?" I called out, aghast.

"Yes, it's me. Can I come in?" My heart can't possibly take anymore beating. It's irregular and going all over the place. Like to my throat.

"S-sure!" I managed to choke out. I flourished my wand and my Witch Watch bikini-edition magazine hid itself under Sirius's bed. I exchanged a quick, nervous look with Sirius, who shrugged.

"Lily…are you there?"

"Are you indecent?" she asked after a pregnant pause. She's so excruciatingly adorable.

"Do you want me to be?" I asked suggestively. Remus shot me a glare that clearly said, I-can't-believe-you-just-said-that-you-prat.

I can just see her roll her eyes and the door clicked and she stepped in, in her wonderful beauty. This was surreal; Lily Evans, in my dormitory!

My hands immediately went up to my hair, then I managed to pass it off as a yawn. She hates when I touch my hair.

"Remus, McGonagall gave me a memo at dinnertime, and I forgot to tell you about the rounds," she said, business-like.

"What is it?" Remus asked.

"Well, we're supposed to do our rounds, now," she said apologetically. She looked around with mild interest. "Why is it only the four of you?" she asked.

"It's always been four -" Peter said, the same time I said, "Since second year."

Lily frowned and Remus cracked a smile. "Our fifth roommate…he fell ill and he had to be kept in solitary confinement for about a month…there were some details that were confusing…but in the end we got the rooms to ourselves."

"I see," she said skeptically. "Two minutes, Remus." She nodded curtly and was about to leave. But I had to know for sure.

"Are you going to the ball, Lily?" I blurted out. I heard Sirius face-palm.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," she said coolly.

"It's just…" I trailed off. You know what? I'm sick of assuming.

"I saw you eyeing the Ravenclaw table," I said bluntly. Her cheeks held a faint trace of pink, and she retorted, "Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't."

"Two minutes, Remus," she snapped, and left.

"This settles it," I said angrily. "She wants McDaniel - she as good as admitted it!"

"Sirius, you had a plan?" Peter prompted.

"I did."

I waited.

And waited.

I checked my watch and wondered if Dumbledore died of age already.

Still waited.

"THE PLAN?" I yelled impatiently.

"It's so secret not even you can know until tomorrow," Sirius said briskly.

"I'm off to my rounds. Let me know when you've come up with some sort of plausible idea," Remus said. He grabbed his wand and was poised to leave when Sirius shouted, "Wait! Come back here, Moony!"

"Lily's waiting -"

"She can wait some more! I'll tell you. Come on now. Huddle around," Sirius said, gesturing with his arms.

I rolled my eyes and leaned in closer to Sirius. Remus walked to our mini group and Peter joined us when he left the bed.

Sirius started talking, and I listened hard. It didn't sound as extravagant as I wanted, nor as clever and original as mine. But it will have to do. Remus gave us the stamp of approval and Peter was finally able to go to sleep peacefully. Sirius was immensely satisfied as I gave him a thumbs up.

Can't wait for tomorrow. I know I said that yesterday, but this time it's for real.


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