Author's Note: My thanks to everyone once again for their willingness to keep reading and reviewing. I'm starting to worry about a lot of technical things in this story like odd tense discrepancies and wording blunders, but I'm gonna hold off on criticizing it as a whole until it's complete. Another short chapter this time. Please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters used in this story. Well, I guess I technically own Cheryl, but she doesn't count.
Peace sounds like a worthy ambition. When someone says they long for world peace, the appropriate reaction is to smile and tell them they are a caring, progressive individual. Too bad those very words may come back to haunt you when half the world's name is written in a notebook.
No, peace on any kind of global scale is a fantasy, the wishful dream of those who have no idea what humans are actually made of.
Individual peace though? That is a worthy ambition.
It's a shame that it is often more difficult to find contentment than it is to gather the entire population together to light candles.
The life Matt had been leading was a simple, boring affair. He had a job, an apartment, and a car. To the untrained eye it might have seemed commonplace, but they did not know the circumstances. For a person with beginnings as tragic as our own, the achievement of any kind of normalcy was incredible.
While I had descended further and further into the pit of chaos, he had risen above the unfortunate hand life had dealt him to find a proper place in the world.
I bit my tongue to stop from screaming as the pain of my burns threatened to overwhelm me.
"Hey. Hey, Mello. Over here."
My eyes struggled over to Matt, who was once again seated at the foot of the bed.
"Check this out."
He tried to direct my attention to the video game now flickering across his television screen.
I thought I recognized the character in the game, but they looked so different now. Their blocky pixels had been traded for flawless three dimensional polygons and the blips and bleeps that once accentuated their actions were now swells of orchestral harmony.
I moaned like a zombie, unable to contain my agony any longer.
"You're gonna miss the boss fight…"
I knew he was trying his hardest to distract me from the pain, but he was failing miserably.
With an inhuman roar, I slammed my fist down onto the mattress.
Matt looked on with horror and pity.
"Hang on, man… Cheryl'll be here soon."
Time had no meaning and I cannot say how long it was before a knock came on his door. When it finally did, he admitted a woman dressed in pale scrubs. She looked to be in her mid-thirties and had hair far too perfect for her occupation.
"Hey, Cher," Matt said sheepishly. "Thanks for coming."
"Don't worry about it, Mr. Jeevas."
"No. I know how far you're sticking your neck out for me. Really. Thank you."
"Hey, if it weren't for your help with last year's database disaster, I'd have lost my job. At least if I lose it now, it'll be for a good reason."
I howled again.
"That must be your buddy."
"Yeah…"
The woman pulled a needle from her bag and approached me.
"Take it easy, hon. I'm gonna knock you out for a bit while I take care of those wounds, okay?"
A quick pinprick and the room swam before fading altogether.
The following days would find Matt and his nurse acquaintance taking turns caring for me until I was healed enough to move about on my own. Well, I shouldn't say 'on my own'. I never could have done it without the painkillers.
The days turned to weeks and I got a taste of the life I knew I was never destined to lead. Matt showed me his favorite supermarket where they had frozen dinners for half the price of other stores. He showed me the gas station where he had once accidentally dropped his car keys in the restroom toilet.
He showed me the bland, triumphant peace he had attained.
I was jealous. It was almost enough to make me curse the personality I had been born with. Matt found pride and happiness in what he did, while I still battled my feelings of discontent with every dangerous move. The way I viewed the world was so different from him…
It was almost as if I was looking through someone else's eyes.
Those were the happiest weeks of my life.
Unfortunately they came to an end when I was well enough to resume my anarchistic striving.
Matt knew what was coming. He knew I was going to leave him again, and the pre-emptive strike he made against such repeat abandonment was the only insight he would ever give into just how much I had hurt him years ago.
One morning I emerged from the bedroom to find him on the couch that had become his bed talking on the phone.
"Yeah, I'm sorry for such short notice," he said into the receiver. "The terms of my new contract required me to start immediately. I wanna thank you for everything, though. You really helped me get my feet off the ground."
He nodded in response to something the voice on the other end said.
"Yep. Yep. Will do. You were a great boss too. I'm sure you'll have no problem filling my position."
He hung up the phone.
"You got a new job?" I asked.
With a startled jump, he turned to face me.
"Oh, hey Mello. I didn't know you were up yet."
I pulled my scarred face into an insisting expression, pressing him for an answer to my question.
"Well, um, about that… Not exactly."
"Then why did you just quit?"
He shrugged with feigned indifference and smiled at me.
"I found something better to do with my time."
Peace is a valuable thing. One of the most valuable things one can ever hope to obtain. But just like there are rubies and emeralds and sapphires, there are other things that hold equal, but different value. Some people would choose a ruby over a sapphire. It's all a matter of priorities and preference.
Matt was willing to throw out everything he had worked for to follow me into chaos. He would exchange his honest livelihood for the one of tension and guilt I wished I could leave behind.
That level of crazy selflessness certainly cemented him on the side of irrationality that B and I occupied.
Stupid, blind, unfortunate Near.
Our team had lunatic determination. It had passion and sentimentality. And now it had unwavering devotion.
All Near had was the silence of a million empty answers stacked neatly atop each other.
Author's Note: Well, I'm sorry to say it, but we are nearing the end. Next chapter soon. Thank you for reading!
