Requested by arendalphaeagle on Tumblr! It took me forever to get to this one….


1. Monkey Phase

Milo wasn't normally this fussy. But now he refused to wear any other pajamas besides the fuzzy monkey onesie, even though it clearly needed a wash. There were crumbs lodged all over the sleeves, and the round tan spot in the middle had a little smudge of drool. "Come on, Milo," Brigitte cooed. "No monkey pajamas tonight. These are dirty."

He crawled to the side of the crib nearest to the wall, tugging the monkey pajamas so that they rested in a crumpled heap next to him. Next he glared angrily at her, though the effect was lost when he also puffed out his cheeks. And also because babies were adorable when they tried to be mad.

"I'll give you two bananas for breakfast tomorrow, if you'll give me your pajamas," Brigitte offered. "How does that sound?"

"Ana?" Milo repeated.

"Ana," Brigitte confirmed. Milo squealed in delight, and Brigitte scooped him up in her arms, cradling him with one hand and tossing the monkey pajamas in the hamper. "I blame Martin for turning you into a little monkey. Now, do you want the pajamas with the presents or the bees?"

2. Monkey Business

"Blast this infernal attic," Balthazar muttered, sneezing for the 23rd time. No, he wasn't so bored that he was counting his sneezes. Who did that? They were camped out in the attic of the Murphy residence, waiting for the family to leave for the day so they could conduct a thorough investigation. Unfortunately, the family kept forgetting the most random things and kept rushing back inside to grab them.

Maybe there would be information in the attic.

Balthazar opened a large box, a family of squirrels scolding him for disturbing their nap. "Pardon me. So sorry," he closed the flaps, leaving the box where it stood. "Dakota, help me find something I can use for proof!"

Vinnie shoved a bag of chips into his pocket and started poking around at a corner. "Chips kinda taste gross in the attic anyway. You get to take in a mouthful of dust and cobwebs while eating and-oh cool, so this is the time period where they had all those children's animal magazines! I loved looking at these when I was a kid!"

"There's not enough time-oh, never mind," Balthazar knew it was a lost cause when Vinnie picked up an issue with a photograph of a spider monkey on the front cover, flipping through the pages.

"Balthy, are you sure you don't wanna learn about New World monkeys with me?" Vinnie asked. Balthazar continued to rummage through a stamp collection, mentally noting they all seemed to be centered around historical disasters. "What if we were assigned to, I don't know, Costa Rica and we got lost in the rainforest or something. And we have to learn how to hop from tree to tree because there's a ferocious jaguar that everybody's afraid of. And we would have to avoid arrows tipped with dart frog poison. And there's probably an ancient temple somewhere. There's usually one in those kinds of settings."

A practical application. Not likely, but plausible. Setting aside the stamp collection for now, Balthazar leaned against the wall and sighed. "I suppose it's a possibility," he mused as Vinnie laid down on the floorboards, his head resting on Balthazar's stomach. He propped the magazine up on his chest.

Listening to Vinnie gush about the eating habits of capuchin monkeys was a great stress reliever.

3. We're Going to the Zoo and We're Gonna Get More Than We Bargained For

"And here comes a cart full of kids, monkeys in hats, and a clown on a unicycle barreling through to make a daredevil leap through the shark infested waters that has put at least thirty-four professional stuntmen in the hospital! Huh, what? No way! Sorry folks! Correction, it was thirty-two professional stuntmen and two pharmacists."

"What do we do?" Melissa shrieked, clutching a vacuum cleaner as a lifeline as the cart hurtled uncontrollably down the ramp.

"Well, as soon as this blows over we should really get these monkeys back to their exhibit," Milo replied, watching the monkeys hoot to each other as the banana perfume the cart was coated in whipped them up into a frenzy. "The zoo staff will be using them for a kid's birthday party later."

"Monkeys, stop chasing us! Monkeys, stop chasing us!" Zack shouted. The monkeys ignored him, one latching onto an iron bar of the cart and desperately holding on as he was helplessly pulled along. Milo pulled the hitchhiking monkey up so he didn't get hit by the wheels. The monkey hugged Milo out of fright instead, covering his face with a long, hairy arm.

A shark appeared out of the water just as the cart went airborne, jaws wide open. Melissa threw down the vacuum cleaner, smacking the shark in the head. It sunk beneath the surface in pain.

Milo managed to move the arm so that he could peer out with one eye, turning pale as three more sharks appeared, bumping the bottom of the cart with their noses so that it landed on the other ramp safely. They slowly rolled to a stop, catching their breaths.

The clown was knocked out on the other side, while the monkeys around him fought over the unicycle. The monkey that was clinging to Milo let go, circling around the walkway to join the others. Workers herded them to the exit.

"On second thought, do you just want to find a balloon vendor?" Milo asked.

"Okay, but this time, I handle all communication with the woodpeckers," Zack said.