Chapter 29


Rey was sombre as she watched Ben sleep. She'd woken up before him, not knowing what to do with herself but watch him. Her thoughts were focused on the next day; when they would go to D'Qar, when Rey would give him up. She didn't know what to think. Rey knew it was what she was supposed to do, but her heart ached to do it. It was frightening not knowing what would happen in the future and she wanted Ben to be there, always close to her.

Her fingers glanced across Ben's jaw as she laid beside him, and then spanned the scar that ran across his nose. He blinked awake, immediately smiling at her, though it fell when he felt the sober emotions fluctuating within her mind and saw the emotionless expression on Rey's face.

'We could stay, just for a bit more.' Rey suggested.

Ben sighed and shook his head. 'Don't say that.'

Rey closed her eyes and felt Ben's warm kiss against her forehead. 'I just wanted more time before it all goes to hell.'

He smiled wryly and his fingers fell through her untied hair. 'Then treat it like the apocalypse is really coming tomorrow.' Ben didn't let her answer or react, only changed the conversation. 'I felt you this time, are your dreams coming back?'

'Hopefully they're gone forever,' she responded, her hand falling from his face and Rey rolled onto her back, looking at the ceiling.

Ben watched her profile, seeing her eyes fidget. 'You don't mean that. My uncle wouldn't block them again, not when there isn't a point any longer.'

She glanced at him and then back up at the ceiling. 'What's the point of having dreams? In reality I have none, there is just a stretch of grey nothingness.'

'You don't have to lie just to hurt me,' Ben replied. His arms slid around Rey and he pulled her to him, his bigger body eclipsing hers and forcing her face into his neck. 'Or even to protect me. I did this. I did wrong and I don't want you to think that you should share in my punishment, or that you will be sharing in my punishment.'

Rey sighed and her arms wrapped around Ben's waist and he squeezed her tightly.

'I love you,' she whispered against his chest.

Ben let go then, feeling her emotions change and he loosened her tightening arms to see stray tears against Rey's cheeks.

'Please don't,' he said lightly, loosening his hand and wiping at her tears with his thumb.

Rey took a breath, feeling his anxiety as if it were building in her own chest and it stalled her tears, but she still felt overwhelmingly disappointed and regretful. She couldn't decide whether that was because she didn't want to act like this when she was doing the right thing, or that she was regretting deciding to bring Ben to the Resistance.

'Can't you just pretend?' he requested. She nodded lightly and he loosened his grip around Rey and leant back slightly. 'Tell me a story?'

She snorted and met his eyes. 'How about the story of how you abandoned me on Lothal?'

Ben looked at her guiltily and Rey almost laughed at his expression. He knew how cruel he had been by leaving her on that planet with no way off it. But she knew why he did, she might not ever understand but she knew why.

'Aren't you interested in knowing how I got back to D'Qar?' she questioned.

His expression implied that he did want to know and Rey sat up, Ben's arms falling from around her and she crossed her legs, making Ben have to move to keep the small cot balanced. She took his silence and whilst she told her story, she went to removing his bandages.

'Well I was left with very few options thanks to you destroying my radio and taking me so far from civilisation…'

Rey descended into her tale of how she had escaped Lothal, making it as dramatic as was possible for her. However, once she reached to her encounter with the Knights of Ren, she decided not to embellish it. Her tone grew sober and despite trying to make herself sound heroic, Ben could tell she had been scared. He'd even felt her fear at the time, though did not know what she could be so frightened of. It was at this time when Rey had removed the majority of his bandages and surveyed the Force-healed scars; fresh and pink, but healed all the same, that he stopped her with a hand.

'I'm sorry.'

She seemed annoyed by his apology and she pulled her hands into her lap. 'You broke my heart that day, do you know that?'

Ben nodded and he sat up. 'How could I protect you any other way?'

Rey met his eyes. 'It was worse for you to do that. To protect me and then lie that you didn't love me. I would have preferred if you had left me before I woke, so I could have figured it out for myself.'

'You're so stubborn.'

'Then what does that make you?'

Ben didn't reply and he just held Rey's gaze, trying to translate to her that he loved her and he would do anything for her, even if she didn't like it. It would be like that till the day he died and she could be angry or hate him for it, but it was all he had left. If he were to live the rest of his life in a cell, everything he said, everything he would do would be to make sure she was safe.

'How does it feel?' Rey asked once she had finished looking at his scars, happy that Ben's wounds didn't need to be bandaged again.

'Uncomfortable.'

'Not painful?' she asked and he shook his head.

Rey was about to stand and Ben reached for her, halting Rey with his hand. 'You will be honest with me, won't you?' he questioned.

She frowned lightly, her brow furrowing and she looked at Ben's hand in her own. 'About what?'

'About anything. About everything.'

Rey considered him for a moment and then nodded curtly, standing up and disposing of the old bandages. Ben watched her walk around for a few minutes, before she approached him with a pair of scissors and indicated that he should sit on the edge of the cot, facing away from him.

'Don't I have a choice?' he questioned.

She smiled, containing a laugh. 'I won't cut a lot.'

He looked sceptical but did as he was told and allowed Rey to put a cloth around his shoulders and he listened to the gentle snip of scissors as she cut his hair. It didn't take her very long and she hadn't lied when she said she wouldn't cut a lot.

'I wanted you to look neater when your mother sees you again.'

He snorted. 'So, I can be a clean looking prisoner?' he questioned. His fingers touched the ends of his hair, noting that it still reached past his ears.

'Yes,' Rey responded and began cleaning away the hair.

Rey eventually sat at the edge of the cot again and Ben moved to face her, his hand almost automatically reaching to his stomach, expecting a bandage to be there. It was foreign to go without modern healing techniques for so long and Ben had forgotten how truly long it took for the human body to heal, even with the help of the Force. Though his wounds were closed and had scarred over, they were still uncomfortable.

'It will be okay, won't it?' she questioned.

Ben shook his head. 'I made sure it wouldn't be, but that in itself is okay. Not everything can end well.'

'You're supposed to reply with words of encouragement.'

He chuckled and his hand reached to touch Rey's cheek and she leant forward, ending up in Ben's lap and their lips pressed together. Ben held her there, trying to record what this felt like so that he couldn't ever forget.

'What's the plan, then?' he asked.

Rey sighed and her forehead rested against Ben's. 'We will leave in the morning and hike to where I left Snoke's ship. Then we'll fly to D'Qar and we should arrive by mid-afternoon.'

'And you're confident I won't be shot on sight?'

She frowned and leaned away. 'You have no self-preservation? You'd let them shoot you?'

'Don't I deserve that much?'

Rey went to stand but Ben held her in his lap. 'You always think of the worst things to say. I almost think it's a talent of yours.'

'I'm sorry.'

She closed her eyes and shook her head. 'You're not, but I suppose I'll have to tolerate your skill in upsetting me.'

'I don't want to upset you,' he responded quickly. 'Though I can't deny that I am exceptionally pessimistic.'

Rey met his gaze. Her fingers ran through his hair and she tucked several loose strands behind his ear. 'I know it will be difficult and even if I am frightened, I know this is the only path, this is the right way.'

'I know,' he murmured. 'I know.' Ben reached for Rey's hand that still rested against his face and he smiled wryly. 'I'm not going anywhere, I'll do whatever you tell me to do.'

She smiled. 'You don't have to say it like that.'

Ben blinked. 'You're my master now, if you didn't want that, you shouldn't have brought me with you.'

Rey laughed and bit down on her lip to stop her mirth as she shook her head. 'It wasn't long ago that you were calling me a padawan and now I'm your master? Are you really going to do whatever I tell you to?'

He nodded and smiled lightly. 'Whatever you want.'

Rey wrapped her arms around Ben's neck and hugged him tightly. When she pulled away, she kissed Ben quickly, her lips meeting his several times as she smiled.

'Does it make you that happy?' Ben asked, shaking his head with amusement.

'I'll take what I can get,' Rey responded. 'I also like being reminded that you came to me in the end.'

Ben sighed, though his expression was still one of amusement. 'I set myself up for failure the moment that I said you would be seduced by me.' His hands went to Rey's wrists, which were still resting on his shoulders. 'I didn't think that I would end up like this.'

Rey smiled wryly. 'Well thank you for changing.'

'Thank you for making me change.'

She hugged him again and then Rey slipped out of his lap and held her hands out for Ben to take. 'One last tour whilst you're still free?' she asked.

Ben gave her a heavy sigh, but he took Rey's hands and allowed her to pull him up. His shoulder ached slightly, but Rey's touch was incredibly soothing and he imagined it was from all the healing practice.

Rey did most of the work of wrapping Ben in clothing to protect his skin from the sun and dune winds and she handed him a pair of goggles whilst she sifted around putting on appropriate attire. They ended up taking Rey's old speeder and getting some much-needed fresh air, the both of them wanting to make the most of their freedom together.

XxX

Rey felt her hands shake as she piloted the small vessel. Ben knew better than to try and comfort her, knowing that she had done this for him and even if she thought he wasn't a lost cause, it was likely that everyone else did.

He tried to ease her discomfort through his own peaceful mind. He wasn't scared and he'd figured that out days ago. This is where his path had brought him, whatever lay for him on D'Qar was what was right.

The radio rang, seeking access codes and for them to identify themselves. It was no surprise that there was an alarm at a First Order ship wanting entrance to the atmosphere and Rey made herself known. There was silence for a minute before Leia's voice rang through the intercom.

'Rey? Is that you? Rey is that really you?'

Ben felt a barrage of emotions from hearing his mother's voice and he sat in silence, battling with himself and remembering every terrible thing he had done since he'd betrayed his family.

'Yes, it's me. I'm…I'm sorry that I took so long.' Rey managed, fighting her tears. She was wrought with guilt and she didn't know how to say the next words to Leia. 'I've got Ben.'

The line was silent again. 'What did you say, Rey?'

The young woman swallowed. 'I've brought Ben with me.'

The line broke off and they were granted access. Rey brought the ship into the atmosphere, seeing the base below and slowly bringing the ship down. There were already people milling around, most likely having heard that Rey was coming.

When they finally landed, the two of them were silent, Rey's hands tightly gripping the controls. She looked to Ben and he was staring at her, his expression soothing.

'This is it,' he murmured.

Rey nodded and unbuckled herself, standing up as Ben turned his seat to face her.

There were tears in both their eyes, but Ben's broke through first and Rey sniffled hard before kissing his tears and then his lips, pulling away and not wanting to let go of his shoulders.

'I love you,' he said. Rey realised that it had been the first time he had said the words out loud. His expression was one of anxiety for her more so than himself and Rey didn't want to leave the ship, she wanted to stay in this moment with him.

The voices outside became audible then and Rey let go, rubbing her eyes and pressing the release on the doors. They opened gradually, Rey telling Ben to stay put with a hand and she moved towards the exit, stepping out into the humid air of D'Qar.

Leia was waiting, tears filling her eyes and she pulled Rey tightly to her. Rey had expected Luke and her friends, but they were nowhere in sight.

'Is it true? Do you have him?' Leia asked.

Rey nodded and looked down at her hands, feeling terrible.

'We heard that the facility was destroyed by the Knights of Ren and there were whispers saying Snoke was there, I expected that Ben was there too. What happened, Rey? Where have you been?' Leia asked quickly, clearly not knowing what question she should ask first.

Rey took a breath, ready to just tell her everything at once, but she was halted by footsteps behind her making their way down the ramp.

There were intakes of breath, blasters were removed from holsters, and shouts from the men and women surrounding Leia for Kylo Ren to back down, while he held his hands up willingly.

Leia looked past Rey then, seeing her son for the first time in what felt like a lifetime and she couldn't speak. He met her eyes, his guilt so present and palpable that Leia felt her tears spill again.

'How did you?' she managed.

Rey was silent still. How did she get him onto a ship straight to D'Qar? How was he seemingly uninjured and unshackled? How did he look so different? How did he look so much like he had as a child?

'I've come to give myself willingly to the Resistance in order to be charged for my crimes against the galaxy.' Ben spoke, his voice clear and unwavering.

Most of the crowd were shocked, but there were many who did not believe his words and their guns were still held tightly cocked towards him.

Ben looked to Rey then, his shoulders loosening, waiting for her orders and Leia saw it. She felt it around the two of them and in the way her son looked at the young woman. He loved her and he was here because of her.

'Arlo and Streez, take the prisoner to the hold. He will comply,' Leia said, her eyes not breaking away from Rey and her son. 'Send the doctor to check him over too.'

Two of the officers hesitated before they stepped forward and attached a set of binders to Ben's wrists, pushing him towards the hold with their blasters cocked. Rey watched after them before meeting Leia's eyes again and then looking to the ground.

A hand was against her arm then. 'Come with me Rey, tell me what happened.' The General spoke softly and Rey bit her lip to stop her tears from coming. She merely nodded and she followed after the older woman in silence.

She couldn't meet the gazes of those around her as she walked through the facility and Rey wasn't blind to the whispering. She'd disappeared for so long and had turned up with one of the most wanted men in the galaxy without needing to even hold a weapon to his back.

Rey sat in Leia's ready room ultimately nervous. She had left without any permission, joined up with the Knights of Ren and almost gotten herself killed. Then she had decided not to come back for several weeks, disappearing with Ben. At least Leia had called her in on her own, without the other senior officers to disapprove, without Luke.

'What do you have to say for yourself?' Leia asked, her expression severe.

The younger woman took a breath. 'I don't have any excuses, General. I went against orders, I did something foolish on my own for selfish reasons. I nearly got myself killed and I've gone against what you want from me, what everyone expects of me.'

'Rey, just start from the beginning,' Leia said, holding her hand out to calm Rey and indicate that she was listening.

Rey met the general's eyes and took a breath before nodding. 'I've… there were…oh I don't know where to start,' the young Jedi said and she stood, feeling unsettled before looking back at Leia. 'To put it simply for the past several months we've had a connection, through the Force and before Luke intervened, it was through our dreams.'

Leia seemed relatively surprised by that start, but she did not interrupt Rey.

'I knew it wasn't right and though I let it go on for far too long, I let Luke block him from accessing my dreams anymore, but that did not stop the connection we had. I…we…I knew what I felt…and Ben…he saved me during the explosion. I was badly injured from fighting the Knight and the explosion and he didn't want me to be captured by the First Order.

'When I was making my way back to D'Qar, I had no choice but to stop on Saleucami and out of great misfortune I was found by the remaining Knights and they didn't give me much choice but to follow them to their ship. The Knight was there, the one that I had fought, and they said Snoke had said she was dead, but he had merely trapped her on Lothal. They wanted to destroy him and Ben out of revenge and they said they would give me Ben as a prisoner if I agreed to help them.

'I know now that I was a fool to agree to it, but they gave me little choice. They probably would have killed me if I had said no and so I waited for them to contact me again and that's why I left so suddenly. They picked me up and we went directly to Cantonica, where Snoke had been this entire time. I had to pretend to be their prisoner and then at an opportune moment they would strike, but rather than that, they used me and whether they wanted to kill or seriously injure me, I do not know. They used me to coax Ben into killing Snoke and he did. He killed him because he knew that was what I wanted and he thought that I was…and that was the last thing he wanted to do. Be good.'

Leia reached out to take Rey's hand and the young woman gripped onto it tightly. 'I regained consciousness just when one of the Knights had pulled his sword from Ben's stomach and shoulder and I just managed to stop them from killing him and to heal him enough that he wouldn't bleed to death. We left on Snoke's ship and I knew I couldn't bring him here, not this far, not when he was so injured, so I took him to Jakku and did my best to stop him from dying.'

Rey's expression was one of deep sadness and she wanted to remove her Lightsaber and pass it to Leia so that she could strike her down with her own weapon. Saying everything out loud really made her see how much wrong she had done and how much she should have done differently. Even if it hadn't ended completely horrifically, she would carry her failures with her. How could she be trusted by her master let alone anyone else after everything?

Her tears eventually came but Leia held her earnest gaze and sighed. 'Why didn't you even consider telling one of us?'

'I thought…I thought that if I could solve this alone, that I could spare any more bloodshed. It was foolhardy, but I trusted in what I saw and I shouldn't have, I know that now, because I'm still so inexperienced.'

The General nodded. 'You could have died, Rey.'

Rey nodded and swallowed. 'I lied to you and my friends.'

'About Ben?' Leia responded sombrely.

'Yes,' Rey said nodding. 'Even though he isn't the reason I went and did all of this, he is the reason I'm alive and Snoke is dead.'

Leia sighed and brought her hands together. 'That is a good thing. Snoke is gone and the First Order no longer has a powerful Force-user in Ben on their side, though that does not draw the curtain on their operations. Hux is still very much alive and can now command his troops to freely do as he wishes.'

Rey nodded. 'I understand. I'm sorry General.'

The older woman smiled wryly and squeezed the hand she still held tightly from across the table. 'Even though the circumstances aren't the best, thank you for bringing him back. Thank you for seeing the good in him, even when I thought there was nothing left to salvage.'

Rey could only remain silent. There was so much Ben had done, there was so much he had to atone for and be punished for.

'At the very least, I don't think they want him executed.' Rey looked up, meeting Leia's eyes again. 'The senior officers will probably want to use his intel for as long as possible when they find out where his allegiances lie.'

'With me?'

'With you.' Leia confirmed. 'As long as you are with us – the both of you are with us – he won't be executed.' The General took a breath. 'It was you who destroyed the facility, wasn't it?'

Rey nodded. 'Ben thought it would be best, to make sure it was gone for good.'

'Good, then Hux must think that Ben died too and his secrets with him. The information will continue to be valuable to us.'

'What will they do with him?' Rey asked, swallowing and her fingers scratching against the table. 'If they won't kill him, what will they do?'

Leia frowned. 'It will be put to a vote, which I will naturally be left out of. We don't have the capabilities to imprison him here and any device that we could muster up, it is doubtful that it could contain him for long, so we would be relying on him taking his punishment. Yourself and Luke are truly the only ones capable of stopping him from escaping if he chose to, so it is very much reliant on your involvement.'

'He will' Rey said quickly. 'He will take his punishment.'

'He would have to be your responsibility, Rey.'

Rey nodded. 'I know. If you require him to, he will give you the information willingly. You can keep him in the hold or within his own quarters, or with me, if that's what is required.'

Leia was silent for a moment and nodded. 'I will tell the officers that he wishes to comply and that you will take responsibility for him.'

Rey breathed out, thankful that there might be a chance.

'What will you do about your friends?' Leia questioned. 'They might not take this well, you might be ostracised.'

The young woman smiled lightly. She wasn't unaccustomed to loneliness and she would understand if her friends decided to reject her after this. All she could do was continue to do what she thought was right. 'I will have to deal with that myself. Perhaps my actions have been truly unforgiveable, and if that is the case, then I must deserve my punishment.'

Leia sighed and squeezed Rey's hand. 'You take far too much on your shoulders, Rey. I'm sorry that you've had to keep so much to yourself. I'm sorry.'

Rey shook her head and smiled lightly. 'Life is unpredictable.'

Leia nodded in agreement and Rey got up, bowing her head to Leia and she exited the room, breathing heavily and filled with nerves. How could she face her friends? What would they say?

She made her way down the halls, trying to remain somewhat bright as she met the faces of those she passed. Rey felt and understood that there was a general weariness that was felt towards her. Yes, she had fought for them, fought for everyone, but she had fraternised with the enemy, someone who caused the death of so many of their loved ones.

'Rey!'

Rey turned hearing her name and was met with the strong arms of Finn, hugging her tightly. He didn't say a word and just held her, squeezing her.

When Finn finally pulled away, he held her at arm's length. 'We thought you were dead.'

She shook her head, feeling terrible. She should have returned earlier.

'You must think very little of me now,' Rey murmured as she looked at Finn.

He took a moment as he looked at her and then shook his head and hugged her again. 'I'm just happy that you're alive. Everything else…we can talk about it later.'

Rey couldn't help herself and she found herself crying, her tears dampening Finn's shirt. She wiped at her cheeks and when Finn pulled away, his warm hands against her own comforted her. That mixed with the warm comfort of having Ben near her, cooled her fears down immensely.

'Poe…Jess…they don't hate me, do they?' she asked.

'I think confused and upset, but I don't think they hate you.' He squeezed her hands again. 'Even if we can't understand this whole situation, it's you…and you wouldn't do something without a reason, would you?' Finn questioned.

Rey nodded. 'I'll explain it all when you are all together.'

'What about Luke?'

Rey swallowed. 'He knew about most of it, though I broke my promise when I left without telling him. I betrayed his trust.'

'Maybe you should see him?'

She nodded and let go of her friend's hands. 'Meet me in my quarters at 9 tonight, bring Poe and Jess.'

'Yes ma'am,' Finn replied with a small smile.

Rey took a breath and left Finn, looking to find her master. She wrung her hands as she walked, and the slight headache from what remained of her head injury came pulsating back. When she reached Luke's quarters, before she could ring the small bell, the doors slid open and her master was sat in one of the small chairs, a pot of tea and two cups set out on the table.

'Sit, Rey.' He murmured, gesturing to the other chair.

She nodded and warily walked over, taking a seat and trying to look directly at her master, but feeling her heart wrench every time she met his eyes.

'I should have told you,' she began after several minutes of silence and Rey's tears automatically begun. 'I was just frightened that it would be worse if I did.'

Luke swallowed and leant forward, picking up the tea cup in front of Rey and placing it in her hands, before he leant back and took his own cup. He sighed lightly and took a sip. 'There are a lot of things I wanted to say to you. I wanted to scold you, I wanted to beat you to a pulp for doing exactly what I told you not to do, but then what would that change?' Luke rested the cup on his knee and scratched his beard with the other hand. 'You wanted to finish this with minimal damage and I understand that. I do. You likely weren't given much of a choice by the knights I'm sure.' He took a breath again and made sure Rey met his eyes. 'But you were so careless with your life, Rey. I know that you want to say that you'll sacrifice anything to protect everyone here, but then what would you leave? If you hadn't come back, then what would we have done? What would we have thought?'

Rey nodded and put the teacup back down on the table and slipped from the chair and onto her knees, taking the hand of her master and bowing her head.

'If you want to end my training, if you think that I am hopeless just say the word. I will understand, Master Luke. I have made so many mistakes, I have gone against your wishes, perhaps out of selfishness, not just because of my love for Ben, but because of my desire to find a purpose and to help. If it's an affliction I can't be rid of, I will accept whatever you say.' Her voice was tight as she spoke, and she met Luke's eyes resolutely, wanting him to know her sincerity. Rey's cheeks were still wet with her fresh tears, but they had stopped flowing.

He sighed and shook his head, putting his tea cup down and taking her hands in both of his. 'You are foolhardy, you are rash, but you are young and you will make mistakes and do foolish things. I wasn't much different, I jumped into danger and thought every idea I came up with was without issues. Though what's most important and what has kept me alive so long is relying to some extent on those around me. Do you think I would have survived my early days without Leia, Han or Chewie? Even Threepio probably saved me a few times.' Luke stood and brought Rey with him. 'I just want you to understand that you aren't alone and that you can rely on others. You don't have to have the world on your shoulders.'

Rey looked solemn and bowed her head. 'I think you are being too kind to me, master.'

Luke chuckled at that and Rey met his eyes as he smiled lightly. He then patted her shoulder before pulling her into a tight hug. 'I'm relieved that you are alive. Surprised, impressed, maybe marginally elated that you brought Ben back, not just physically. I just ask of you that you promise to at least leave me a more detailed note if you are going to run off and risk your life.'

She squeezed him tightly, nodding quickly. 'I'll do better than that, I'll tell you in person so you have the opportunity to punch me first.'

His mirth continued and when they finally separated, Rey looked at Luke with relief and happiness. The feeling hadn't changed; that he felt like the father she never had and the teacher she always wanted. He was a friend and he was family.

'Now get checked at the infirmary before you start on the whiskey tonight, deal?'

Rey grinned and nodded, giving Luke one last squeeze before she dashed from his room, feeling even lighter than she had felt when she had seen Finn.


Thanks for reading and apologies for the delay.