Day Twenty-Nine

Monday morning started off the same glorious way as the previous mornings had. Olivia awoke slowly, her initial awareness consisting only of feeling warm and safe and comfortable. Slowly, it dawned on her that she wasn't still clinging to the last vestiges of a delicious dream, but that the utter contentedness stemmed from reality and not her unconscious desires. As she smiled and closed her eyes to revel in the feeling, the warm, heavy weight of the arm resting around her waist shifted, pulling her closer. She giggled as his breath tickled her neck, craning her head to kiss him.

His eyes were bright and alert, crinkling in delight at the thought that he'd managed to wake her. "Morning, beautiful."

Giggling again, she offered him another kiss. "A girl could get used to this, you know."

"That's the idea." His playful grin faded as he held her eyes, a sudden darkness creeping into his expression. "We have to be in court this morning."

The idea of court was never particularly appealing to her, even less so when the case hit so close to home. Nestling her face into his neck, she tried to distract him. "Why don't we skip it? It's not like they'll miss us."

Elliot groaned, though she couldn't be sure if it was due to her lips or her words. "Oh, babe, they'll miss us. You think for one second Cragen won't notice if we blow it off?"

Judging from Elliot's compliance as he rolled onto his back, Olivia suspected she was winning the argument. "I dare you to call him and let him know we're busy." Her hands slid across his chest as she moved to straddle him, well aware that she'd quite thoroughly distracted his body even if his mind continued to resist. "In fact," she paused to let her tongue dance across his throat, "I dare you to tell him just what we're busy doing."

His chest rumbled with a deep laugh while his hands wove into her hair, guiding her mouth back to his. "Poor man will have a stroke."

"That'll probably keep anyone from noticing that we're not there, don't you think?" She wiggled her hips as she spoke, knowing she was making it hard for Elliot to keep up with her words.

His eyes darkened again, though finally in desire rather than anxiety. "You are a cruel, cruel woman, you know that, right?" One of his arms snaked around her waist, holding her close to him as he flipped her onto her back. "I might just have to teach you a lesson."

She laughed for a moment, until she felt his hands cupping her breasts, and his lips slowly tracing a path to meet them. Then she was completely distracted herself.

Just like most days they were due in court, they were late. Normally, it was a case or a suspect or an emergency that held them up, allowing them to step into the courtroom with their heads held high and proud and unconcerned with the faces that turned to stare at the interruption. Unfortunately, their intimate relationship was too new for them to appear unfazed as they entered the quiet room. Both ducked their heads when Huang, who was on the stand, paused in his testimony. Others in the room, either annoyed or confused at the delay, turned to see what had captured the doctor's attention. Elliot's cheeks flushed red and Olivia gritted her teeth, wishing she'd had to sense to foresee the embarrassment and refuse to subject herself to it.

Although Elliot had been right about the various players, namely Casey, Huang, and Cragen, noticing their absence, Olivia knew there was no compelling reason for them to be there. Howie's trial had yet to start, postponed by the hearing his lawyer had insisted on, determining his ability to stand trial in the first place. Elliot didn't think there was a damn thing wrong with the man that prison wouldn't fix. Olivia, despite agreeing with Elliot that Howie deserved to suffer for the pain he'd caused them, wasn't so sure Howie was completely sane.

Mortified a million times over, Olivia slumped into her seat beside Elliot. He reached over, his arm stretching across her shoulders, squeezing her tightly. He might have been comforting her. He might have been comforting himself. He accomplished both, so she didn't actually care what his intention had been. Trying to repay the favor, she leaned over slightly, pushing herself against his chest. He responded in kind, pulling his arm tighter around her, and she turned into him, letting his scent wash over her with her next breath. In that second, she forgot entirely about being embarrassed and the reason why; instead, she was fighting back the temptation to climb into Elliot's lap right there. She succeeded for the most part, repressing her desires into a practically inaudible sigh.

She almost laughed when Elliot squirmed beside her. Perhaps, she realized, they'd just learned a very important lesson about trying to save time by taking a shower together that morning. It was hardly the time or place for both of them to be so distracted, leading Olivia to wonder how the hell they were ever going to get anything accomplished at work. Her mind wondered, thinking of Cragen and all his pointed concern over the years that they were too close to be partners. He'd been wrong all those times, however, Olivia begrudgingly had to admit he wasn't exactly wrong in theory. And he wasn't wrong about how dangerous a relationship between them could be.

As if reading her thoughts, Elliot stiffened beside her. She looked at him, expecting to find his eyes on her. But they weren't. His angry stare was burning a hole through Huang, fury radiating off him in waves. Olivia was thankful that Huang was across the room, on the other side of several armed men. Needing to know what had Elliot so upset, she forced her reflections on their personal life aside, tuning into the soft voice of the doctor.

"That's correct. It's my professional opinion that Mr. Ruskinowicz has Schizoid Personality Disorder."

The set of Casey's shoulders and the edge to her voice revealed that she shared the same anger and distress at Huang's words. "And what exactly does that mean, Dr. Huang?"

Huang was an astute student of human behavior and therefore couldn't possibly have missed the hostility in the ADA's tone. Regardless, or perhaps because, of his ability to read people, he answered without raising his voice or acknowledging Casey's demeanor. "It means that the defendant has been unable to form social relationships, except for his relationship with his sister. Typically, individuals with this disorder are only able to form meaningful bonds with a close relative. He lacks normal social skills and appears cold to most people."

Casey's arms folded across her chest. "So he doesn't play well with others."

Huang's lips quirked upward at the corners, the smallest hint of a smile. "Mr. Ruskinowicz is a loner, as he's been his whole life. He can't relate to other people and he doesn't want to."

Turning to the judge, Casey offered clipped words, announcing that she had no further questions, while letting everyone in the vicinity know that she was quite displeased with what she'd heard.

It was Howie's lawyer's turn, the young man, clearly appointed by the court, seemed nervous as he spoke. "So, my client is, in lay terms, crazy, correct?"

Olivia held her breath, not sure whether it would be Casey or Elliot who'd be next on trial, not sure which one of them was going to strangle Huang. She squeezed Elliot's hand, trying to convey that, no matter what happened to Howie, she was safe and alive and there next to him. Elliot didn't seem to notice her anymore, his full attention locked on Huang and Olivia could imagine the only thought in his head was a mental countdown of the amount of time the poor doctor had left to live.

In typical Huang fashion, his words took everyone by surprise. "Not at all."

The young lawyer was startled, checking his notes as though they'd lied to him. "Didn't you just testify that he has Schizoid Personality Disorder?"

Huang smiled, perhaps sensing that his head was no longer on the chopping block. "Mr. Ruskinowicz has a personality disorder. It in no way affects his ability to tell right from wrong or to understand the consequences of his actions."

Defeated, the lawyer sunk into his seat, belatedly opening his mouth. "No further questions, your honor."

Casey nearly leapt out of her chair. "Redirect, your honor?" Without actually waiting for a response, she focused on Huang. "In your opinion, Dr. Huang, the defendant knew that he was breaking the law by abducting Detective Benson?"

Huang's eyes briefly lighted on Olivia's. "Absolutely. He knew that it was wrong and he understood he would be punished for it. He repeatedly misled the police to protect himself."

Casey was happy once again, Olivia could hear it in her voice. "So he's competent to stand trail."

Huang nodded, glancing at Elliot with another small smile on his face. "In my opinion, yes."

The judge called for a recess shortly after Huang's words, only to announce after that half hour that Howie was going to stand trial and announcing the date when proceedings would begin. Olivia could hardly believe it. Elliot was shell-shocked as well; having steeled himself for the news he didn't want to hear.

All Olivia wanted was to spend the afternoon snuggling with Elliot and discussing anything other than the impending trial. But it was Monday morning and Elliot was headed for the office, and so a gentle touch to her shoulder was all he was able to offer her under Cragen's watchful eye. She couldn't even go home and relax as she was due for yet another session with Huang.

She hadn't seen him in a few days and wasn't really looking forward to rehashing personal things yet again. There was something in his eyes, though, as he approached her from across the courtroom, and it gave her pause about trying to wheedle her way out of the session. Instead, she remained where she was, pretending it didn't hurt to see Elliot walk away, pretending that she didn't want to run after him.

"Olivia, it's good to see you."

She tried to smile, but she knew it looked like a grimace. "I bet you say that to all your patients."

He grinned. "Only to the ones getting good news."

She could have sworn that her heart skipped a beat. He'd already gotten Howie held for trial, which prevented Elliot from committing several murders, which, in her book, equated to good news. She wasn't sure she could take anymore. "Good news? Besides that Howie's ass is going on trial?"

With a nod toward the door, he started walking at her side. "I think you're doing very well. So well, in fact, that there's an envelope on Cragen's desk clearing you for work."

She stopped dead in her tracks and her mouth fell open. "Are you serious?"

Huang smiled at her, his grin slowly fading as he recognized that she was truly shocked. "You've been bugging me to get back to work since you were found. Why are you so surprised?"

Emotions got the better of her and for a long moment, she couldn't answer for fear of sobbing. Despite her fight, a tear still slipped down her cheek. "I guess I wasn't sure you'd ever let me go back."

Huang simple smiled at her. "I didn't have anything to do with it. You're the one who suffered through it. You're the one who made yourself better."

She nodded, her mind reeling from the excitement and the overwhelming idea that she was finally going to go back to what she loved doing. "I can't take all the credit." Because as much healing as she'd done, Elliot had been helping her.

Huang nodded. "You guys are good for each other."

Mortified for the second time that day, Olivia hung her head and started to laugh.

As eager as she was to share her good news with Elliot, she had to wait longer than normal. It was Monday, after all, and Elliot had to stop on his way home from work to pick up Eli from the sitter. He called to let her know he was stopping by the grocery store to pick up diapers, sparing her from worrying about the delay. She wasn't much of a cook, but Olivia figured attempting dinner was as good a way to pass the time as any.

She was just straining the pasta when the door finally opened, and the previously quiet apartment was filled with the sounds of an irritated Elliot juggling various bags and his son as well as an irritated Eli loudly protesting his father's preoccupation with anything besides him. Happy to be off the hook with dinner, she abandoned the half made meal and snatched Eli from his father. Though her shoulder continued to plague her with pains from sudden movements, she was lucky enough not to have anything restricting her movements. Elliot was still trying to function with one hand splinted, something Eli did not understand or enjoy.

"How's my little man?" Leaning forward, she nuzzled Eli's nose, eliciting a squeal of delight from the boy.

A few muttered curses came from Elliot as he dropped the bags on the couch and turned to stare at her with a pout. "What about me?"

With a cocked eyebrow, Olivia turned, slowly looking Elliot up and down and then holding his gaze with such a seductive smile on her face that they both nearly forgot about the child. "How's my big man?"

Grinning and no longer the least bit irritated from work or carrying bags with one hand or traffic or whatever it had been that set him off, he approached Olivia and wrapped his arms around her and Eli. "God, I'm so glad to be home."

She dropped a kiss on Elliot's mouth before Eli started to squirm. "I made some pasta."

"Is it edible?" Elliot looked cautiously in the direction of the kitchen as though he expected to see smoke and flames pouring forth.

Shrugging, Olivia turned her attention back to Eli, who'd grabbed a fistful of her hair and wasn't letting go. "Did you miss me?" Eli babbled something at her, which she took as agreement.

A moment later, Elliot had pried Eli's hand away from her hair and settled the baby in his playpen. His face was dead serious when he turned back to her. "We need to talk."

Nervous butterflies took up residence in her stomach, shifting her mood so completely and so quickly that she almost felt dizzy. "What's wrong?" The idea of telling him that she was returning to work was suddenly a distant memory as she worried about his news.

Elliot dragged his hands down his face, opting to stare at them as he sat down next to the bags on the sofa. "I've been dreading this, but I think it's time we discussed it." He winced as he glanced up at her. "I mean, you're going to find out soon enough anyway."

Her heart was in her throat when she sat down in the chair across from him. "Just tell me what's wrong."

Elliot let out a heavy sigh, and then shifted forward so he could reach her hand over the coffee table. "Cragen's not going to let us work together, Liv." He shook his head, barely able to hold her eyes for a second at a time. "I really fell apart when you were gone and I made an ass out of myself at work."

With a determination she didn't quite feel, Olivia squeezed his hand. "Everyone goes nuts when their partner is in trouble. It comes with the territory."

Elliot shook his head. "No way Cragen's going to buy that we're just partners." He rolled his eyes, his cheeks flushing red. "I kind of told him I was in love with you."

"Oh, Jesus." She pulled her hand back, dropping her face in her hands and continuing to mumble. "What the hell possessed you to do that?" He jerked back like she'd slapped him, making her realize how harsh her words had sounded. "I'm sorry, El. I didn't mean it like that."

He shook his head, settling back into the sofa. "No, you have every right to be pissed. I ruined everything."

"No, you didn't." She stood, crossed around the table, and took a seat next to him. "We can't work together anyway, even if he let us."

Turning toward her, Elliot reached for her hand. "We've worked together for years and then I went and ruined it."

"I almost jumped you in court today, Elliot. There's no chance we'd make it through a whole work day without getting ourselves busted and you know it."

Looking far more smug than guilty, his eyes lighted on hers. "Well, you have a point there." He sighed again. "I talked to Cragen today. He's transferring me out as soon as you come back."

And in that instant, her good news turned to shit. She fought to hide the tears that were threatening. "Why should you have to leave? You've been in Special Victims longer than me. You love your job."

"I love you, Olivia." His hand cupped her chin, pulling her to face him. "I have always loved you, not the damn job." Leaning forward, his forehead pressed against hers. "I can work somewhere else. But I can't love someone else."

Pulling back, she wiped at her tears, wishing she'd had more of a warning, more time to get used to the idea. "But can you work somewhere else tomorrow?"

"What?"

She forced a smile past her tears. "Huang cleared me today." As much as she wanted to be happy, the tears wouldn't be denied any longer and she clung to Elliot as she started to sob.

He held her tight, rubbing her back as she cried. "We should be celebrating, you know?"

She nodded her head, wishing she could get a hold of her emotions, wondering how she was possibly ready to return to work. "And instead we're having a pity party."

He chuckled, his fingers moving to sift through her hair. "We make a hell of a team, don't we?"

Olivia looked up, finding Elliot's eyes and reveling in the love she saw there. "Yeah, we certainly do."