Day Twenty-Nine, cont'd

Long after the pasta was reheated and served, long after Eli was put to bed, long after the conversation had fizzled to soothing silence, Olivia sat in the living room, snuggled next to Elliot on the couch. She was still nursing her last glass of wine, the better part of the bottle having gone with dinner to help make up for the cooking skills she lacked. For the most part, she stared at the red liquid as she swirled it around in the glass. Her thoughts were hardly on the wine at all, save for keeping it from spilling over the edge.

And in keeping with his characteristic, excessively observant way, Elliot was had not missed her unspoken musings. "You suddenly become a wine connoisseur or something?"

Shaking her head, she handed the glass to Elliot since he was in a better position to reach the coffee table. Her newly free hand moved across his abdomen, tucking into his side. "I was just wondering."

"I noticed. I was wondering what you were wondering about."

"Don't get mad." She was leery of disturbing the tranquility by voicing her thoughts, but she was hoping Elliot could help her understand. Shifting slightly, she looked up at him. "If Howie's completely sane, why was he so convinced I was Maggie? I mean, the girl's been dead for God knows how long, so how could someone sane think his dead sister came back to life?"

Rather than an explosive restatement of his belief that Howie was the devil incarnate, rather than blowing off her questions, Elliot simply stared at her for a long, silent moment. Then he patted her shoulder. "Let me up."

She squeezed her eyes closed and wished she'd kept her damn mouth shut. They'd been having such a peaceful evening after the emotionally charged day, and she was sorry she'd disturbed it.

But like always, Elliot knew where her mind had gone and spoke reassuringly. "I'll be right back." He ducked into the bedroom and, true to his word, barely a minute had passed before he returned. Sitting beside her once again, he stretched his arm back around her shoulders and offered her the framed photograph he'd retrieved. "I grabbed this right before we found you. I don't even know why I took it."

His words barely registered as she stared at the window into Howie's world. The young girl in the picture, sweet and innocent with eyes far older than they should have been, stared at her, telling her everything she needed to know. She could only force out a whisper as comprehension constricted her throat. "This is Maggie."

Elliot's lip pressed against her hair. "Yeah."

She shook her head, telling herself there was no reason to cry, yet there were the tears, demanding to be acknowledged. "This could have been me when I was little." She could feel the way Elliot nodded against her hair. "She looks just like me."

"I know." Prying the frame out of her hands, Elliot sat it face down next to her wine glass. "The day you met him was the day after Phil hit you. Huang said seeing the bruise on your face might have made Howie think he needed to protect you."

It all seemed to make sense then, coupled with what she'd learned of Howie's history and Maggie's grim fate. Howie hadn't been able to save his sister, but he saw an opportunity to save Olivia and somehow became convinced they were one in the same. As much as she hated what he'd done to her, she couldn't blame him. How many times in her career had she gone overboard, trying to right a wrong that existed in her past? How many times had Elliot done the same thing? She could feel the anger, the venom, the fear, the sense of injustice, draining from her body as though someone had pulled the stopper. She couldn't hold on to her sense of righteous indignation; it was gone. She had the last piece of the puzzle, the one that made it all fit, the one that resolved the picture in front of her.

And she found there was an unbelievable sense of calm that washed over her as she let herself forgive Howie.

Perhaps it was just having that piece of information that in so very many cases proved permanently elusive - she knew why. Why she had to go through it. Why Elliot had to suffer through it with her. Why it happened to her. Why it happened at all. She even knew why Elliot had snagged the photograph when he didn't know himself. For once in her life, something made complete sense.

Unfortunately, it served to highlight the other areas of her life that remained less than fully explained. "So, speaking of pictures, El, would you like to tell me why there are a couple million snapshots of you and me in the bullpen at the moment?"

"Would I like to tell you? No." He groaned as he sat up. "But will I tell you for fear you'll get pissed off again?"

"Good boy." Despite her jovial tone, she knew whatever the explanation was something serious, something that required her to sit up.

"I was going to tell you. I just never found the right time."

Although he'd agreed to tell her rather than have another argument about it, Olivia was getting the idea that he'd almost rather have the fight than actually tell her. "And right now is as good a time as any."

"I told you that Kathy figured out her lawyer was an asshole. Well, the pictures are how she figured it out." He sighed, but Olivia couldn't honestly be sure whether it was because he didn't want to tell her or if he simply didn't want it to be true. "The lawyer hired a PI, without informing Kathy, who followed me around. Then, I guess after he'd chased me around for a while and saw that I was always with you, he decided we were having an affair." His eyes darted to hers as his lips curved into a half smile. "You know, back when we weren't having one. Then he started following you too, mostly only when you were with me, but not exclusively."

Pissed off at the whole idea, she picked the first thing that came to mind and latched onto it. "We're not having an affair."

First it was confusion, then recognition, then annoyance. He held her eyes the whole time, telling her without a word that he knew what she meant and that she was deliberately misinterpreting it. "The bastard lawyer tried to use pictures of us working as evidence that I was unfaithful." He finally looked away, shrugging noncommittally. "Believe me, I was furious when I found out, but the pictures came in handy."

Olivia folded her arms over her chest, feeling exposed and violated at the thought that she'd been followed, that someone had been taking pictures of her without her knowledge. And she took the disconcerting feeling out on Elliot. "How did they come in handy? For your photo album? Or maybe you wanted to decorate the mantle?"

"They gave us the proof we needed to go after Howie." Elliot delivered the words in a matter-of-fact tone, clearly so upset that she was angry with him that he didn't remember how careful he'd been whenever he mentioned Howie. "They were proof that he was following you."

"Oh." Feeling quite stupid and more than a little guilty for being rotten to Elliot for no reason, she looked down at her lap. And with her attention on her lap, she didn't realize that he wasn't about to drop it.

"And since we're speaking of pictures, Olivia, how about you explain to me why you didn't mention that you'd run into Marcus Avery? We wasted so much time chasing after him when we could have been on to Howie. At least if you'd told me he knew where you lived, we could have been expecting him to pop up."

His words hurt, making her feel stupid for having kept the chance encounter with Avery from him. But she hadn't seen any reason to mention it to her partner, with whom she'd been having a disagreement at the time. She'd seen Avery. Avery had seen her. And though there was no love lost between them, Olivia hadn't really deemed the man a threat. He hadn't appeared to be the sick, wasted drug addict he'd been when she'd met him; he'd been collecting the damn garbage out of the dumpster.

With a shrug, she looked up at Elliot who'd taken to pacing. "I didn't tell you about Avery because I didn't want you to worry about it. I thought I could handle it myself." She paused to take a breath, willing herself not to cry, since doing so would only drive home the point she was trying to make. "I didn't want my partner to have to take care of me." Regardless, her chin started to tremble as she realized how wrong she'd been. "I thought I was strong enough to deal with him. I never wanted to be rescued. I never thought I'd need to be rescued." She wiped at the tears, ashamed not that she was crying in front of Elliot, but that she'd been so stupid. "Obviously, I was wrong."

He was back at her side in an instant, the fight forgotten in the face of her tears. "You weren't wrong, Liv. You were right. Avery didn't touch you. You didn't need to be rescued." His arms wrapped around her, hugging her close.

She shook her head, denying herself the comfort of sinking into his embrace. "I needed to be rescued from Howie. I was helpless. I needed you then, didn't I?"

Elliot refused to let her go, keeping his arms locked around her until she stopped resisting. "You're right most of the time, Liv. You're strong and tough and you're the protector." Satisfied that she wasn't trying to get away anymore, he moved one of his hands to her cheek, turning her heard toward him. "Sometimes I need to be the hero. It's good for my ego."

His words were unexpected, making her laugh in spite of herself. But then she held his gaze and spoke words she'd never expected to be true. "As long as you're the one who's going to be there, I don't think I mind needing help every once in a while."

He smiled at her, a softness coming to his eyes as he understood that he was the only one she'd ever admit that to, that he was only one she'd ever want to protect her. "Even if you never need me, Liv, I'll always be there. Just in case."

AN: There's only one more part after this! Thanks for everyone who stuck with me!