Chapter Five

An incessant ringing jarred Jamie from her sleep with a jerk. Her body protested the movement and glancing at the chrono she couldn't stifle her curse. She had overslept and done it on the couch.

Rising stiffly, Jamie hobbled to the shared bathroom and quickly relieved herself and ran into the shower blessing the privileges of having a water shower in her cabin. She turned the water on short of scalding and reveled in the feel of it pounding on her back.

Closing her eyes, in this moment, it was almost possible to forget the past month. Her swollen hands drifted down and that was when she felt it. It was no longer just a swollen pouch. Her slim, toned stomach was curved...rounded. It felt...real. Before, it had been easy to ignore. The pain of Spock's utter rejection had been her focus so the tightening of her pants and shirts had just been that...a tightening of clothes. But now, as Jamie rubbed small circles over her belly, a small sob escaped and she quickly tried to muffle the sound.

Jamie knew then that she wanted this. Even though she couldn't have Spock, she could have a part of him. A part that she had a right to love because it was a part of her too.

Turning off the water, Jamie quickly toweled herself dry and put on her underwear and bra. She didn't have time to see McCoy before her shift so she pulled out some bandages and was wrapping her hands when a familiar voice caused her to freeze.

"Well Captain, I see that you are positively glowing!"

Jamie spun around in shock and immediately tried to cover herself. It was in vain if Trelane's smile was anything to go by. Anger and indignation welled up inside her making her feel like fire was literally running through her veins.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jamie snarled at him.

Trelane had traded his Victorian attire for that of a Starfleet admiral's dress-greys. He had a Cheshire Cat grin on his face and was looking incredibly pleased.

"I simply wanted to see how things were playing out since our last visit."

His hand waved and a small hand-towel appeared. Jamie snatched the offered towel and debated which half to cover with the pathetic scrap of fabric and settled on covering her breasts.

"Do you realize what you've done? The delicate balance I had with my first officer is shattered. My life's destiny has been completely altered on the whim of an alien being." Her voice was just below a shout and she was hoping he would leave.

"And you call what you did a visit?" It was more an incredulous barely controlled shout by now than any form of talking.

Trelane crossed his arms and shook his head, chuckling as if what she had said was an amusing anecdote. Jim was on a roll. Everything she had felt for the past month was pushing her forward.

"And I know that you messed with my genetics. That..." She huffed in frustration and could feel tears burning in the corner of her eyes.

"...I'm not supposed to be female." Blinking away her tears, Jamie took a shuddering breath and fought clenching her hands into fists. She knew it would do no good.

Trelane raised an eyebrow that was an irritating mimicry of Spock. It only incensed her further and Kirk pointed a finger at him.

"You are an utter bastard!"

Trelane seemed totally unperturbed by her outburst and simply shrugged, his smile still on his face. He moved to stand at Spock's sink on his side of the bathroom and leaned a hip on the counter.

"I simply gave you what you wished for. A moment of intimacy with your Vulcan and if there were added bonuses..." He eyed her stomach. "...well, who am I to stand in the way of biology?"

Jamie growled at him and Trelane's demeanor quickly changed. His eyes darkened and he became very serious. All traces of his previous nonchalance gone. It put her on edge.

"You forget, captain, I have seen that other timeline and so have you through the ambassador's memories. You know of the other Kirk's death."

Jamie felt a chill run down her spine at the man's words.

"Not really. I only know that he died in his 70s. I know that Spock was heartbroken and blamed himself for years but that's all I know." She tried to be blasé about it but the thought of James Kirk's death, even though it wasn't her but a different version, made her uncomfortable.

Trelane nodded slowly, almost thoughtfully. "While it is true he died an old man and a hero's death for people he didn't even know. He died alone. Far away from the one he loved."

Jamie heard the beeping of the keypad on Spock's side of the bathroom and a small amount of panic started to creep in at Trelane being there and her state of undress.

Trelane smiled a Kirk, his earlier humor returning at Kirk's plight.

"Believe it or not, captain, I did this to help you." He shrugged. "The ensuing chaos not so much but..." His smile grew wider. "...that's more of a bonus for me."

And before Jamie could blink, he was gone in a flash of white and the door opened to a very flushed Spock. She knew she looked like a deer frozen in the headlights and tried to cover herself better. Spock's eyes darted around the room before settling on her. They trailed up her body, pausing at her belly, and continued to her hands when they narrowed making her flush in a mix of embarrassment and irritation.

"Do you mind, commander? I had that door locked."

Spock stiffened defensively. "I heard raised voices and was concerned." His eyes darkened and Jamie cursed Trelane.

"One of them was a male's voice."

His tone sent chills through her and Kirk felt the tension in the air. It was thick and full of unsaid things. She felt suffocated by it.

"You're mistaken."

"Perhaps."

Spock continued looking at her and Jamie's hand drifted protectively over her abdomen. She felt vulnerable and exposed. He followed the small movement and frowned.

"If you don't mind, I need to get dressed for my shift." She turned to leave when a hand grasped her bicep in a steel grip.

"You need to go to the medbay." Spock ordered.

"I'm fine."

"You are not fine. You have injured yourself, putting my child at risk." Spock's grip tightened possessively and Jamie could feel bruises blossoming under his fingers. Anger, fear, possessiveness and deep concern stabbed through her mind and caused her to gasp.

"Remove your hand." Jamie grit out.

He didn't move and Jamie was wondering if she'd have to resort to force when he suddenly let go as if she had burned him. Resisting the urge to rub the spot Spock had held her, she slowly turned around. Spock was looking at his hand and Jamie could see it was shaking slightly. Right now, he looked unsure, almost lost as he had when Trelane had forced his time upon him and it was horrible and sad to see.

"Spock?" Jamie tentatively reached out but as her fingertips brushed the blue fabric of Spock's shirt he jerked away, impassive mask slipping into place.

"I...must leave. I will see you on the bridge."

Spock spun on his heel and left before she could say anything.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kirk let out a sigh of relief as she stepped onto the bridge. Up here, her problems seemed miles away. She had the respect of her peers, the power to help and the gift of exploring.

"Captain, we're receiving a hail from Starfleet Command, Admiral Komack."

Kirk turned to Uhura and nodded her thanks. "Put it on screen." Immediately, she stood at parade rest. Some habits were hard to break. The round face of Admiral James Komack filled the screen.

"Admiral."

"Captain Kirk, it's been a while."

Komack was a difficult admiral to get along with. A stickler for the rules but generally a fair man.

"I have a new assignment for the Enterprise. The Earth Colony New Berlin has been experiencing severe earthquakes and as a result needs relief supplies and assistance. Currently, the USS Hood is there but they are due to leave in three days for the neutral zone."

Kirk nodded and the Admiral continued.

"Captain Vasquez sent ahead a list of necessary supplies to Starbase 512 and they're preparing for your arrival. The base commander has estimated it should take about two days to fully equip the Enterprise and another day to get to the colony after so you should arrive in time to seamlessly take over the work that the Hood has started."

"How stable is the situation on the colony?" Kirk asked.

"Barely. The tectonic stabilizers are still malfunctioning and in dire need of repair and the number of injured continues to climb. You'll have the full story in the mission brief."

Kirk spun in her chair and looked towards Uhura who nodded that she received the documents. Turning back to the Admiral, she smiled grimly.

"Aye, sir. We've received the mission orders and are ready to proceed."

Komack's features softened. "Good luck, Captain. Komack out."

The screen blinked back to the image of stars replaced the older man. Sulu and Chekov glanced back at Jamie.

"You heard the man. Set course for Starbase 512, warp 6."

Both men turned and started inputting the orders.

"Aye, Keptin."

"Estimated time to arrive?"

Chekov turned to answer. "Six hours, Keptin."

Uhura stepped down from her station, PADD in hand and quickly passed the reports to Kirk. A quick glance and Jamie's eyebrows flew up into her hairline. The station commander is Thomas Leighton. She hadn't seen him in years. A small smile grew at the memory of her last meeting with him. He was her childhood sweetheart, had been her rock when Tarsus had happened and had helped build her back up after. It would be great to work with him again. And to see him was going to be even better.

Tucking the PADD under her arm, Jamie stood and headed towards the lift.

"Commander Spock, you have the conn. I'm going to sickbay to update the medical staff. Briefing in the ready room in two hours."

AN: I have to say I'm so very sorry that it's been so long without an update. Things have been way too crazy here. We had to take in a friend and her daughter because her bf became abusive and so it's been a lot of work hiding her and getting her stabilized.

Also, I'm not too happy with this chapter. I wanted to have her have the conversation with Bones but that would delay posting longer and I feel bad that it's taken this long so that will be the next chapter as well as Spock's POV and meeting Thomas! Fun fun fun! ;)

Anyway, please review! It's my lifeblood! Ideas are always welcome!

Tishbing