This chapter is dedicated to TheV3ng3ance, who suggested using Mephiles as a sheriff, of all things, and also for letting me use his/her original character, Grimshaw the Dark Chao, for Mephiles' Chao, AND for suggesting Mephiles' big water gun, which, frankly, is an awesome gun. So Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic or Grimshaw. TheV3ng3ance owns Grimshaw, and I am using him with permission.
Claimer: I own Maria, Zombie, and Checkers.
The Hedgehog Gang found themselves headed towards the little town of Nowheresville, where, unbeknownst to them, lived a person who would prove to be a greater foe to them then the Chaotix Posse and Punching Knuckles combined.
This new foe was currently in his sheriff office, swamped with newspaper reporters who honestly had no business in a little western town in the first place. But this was a scoop that was truly too good to miss.
For on this day, Mephiles the Dark had laid aside his life of crime and became the sheriff of Nowheresville, vowing to protect its people from the scum of the earth.
Mephiles was using his second form for this story, because I said so, meaning he had lime green eyes, no mouth, and was black with grayish-white highlights throughout his quills. He was wearing a black cowboy hat and a long black trench coat that came to his knees. Outside, his Dark Chao, Grimshaw, was tied at the local Chao Trough, quietly awaiting his rider's next use of him. Grimshaw was an all black Dark Chao, except that his eyes were blood red, he had small bones sticking out on his head like horns and his wings looked like jagged bone.
"Mr. Dark, do you have a statement for the press?" asked one highly annoying newspaper person.
"Yeah. Get out of my office or I'll…" Mephiles found himself unable to finish his statement, because this was a K rated fiction and I had been very clear about what would happen to him if I had to raise the rating because of him. So he closed his mouth and said nothing.
"Mr. Dark, what made you change your ways?" asked another newsperson.
"StarVix said that if I was the mildly psychotic sheriff in her story, she'd never make me participate in another one of her baby stories again ever. Not even as a cameo," Mephiles explained.
There was a stunned silence, then the reporter cleared her throat and asked, "Um, are there any reasons that don't break the fourth wall?"
"None that I can think of, no," Mephiles admitted.
Suddenly, the bank alarm went off, and Mephiles jumped out into the street, effectively blocking the exit of a famed criminal, Manic the Hedgehog.
Mephiles quietly pulled back his trench coat, revealing his water gun: a one-of-a-kind, customized tank looking thing that looked like it weighed fifty plus pounds and that would release water with the force of a water hose. "I don't take kindly to criminals in my town," he said with a western drawl. "So I'm going to have to squirt you."
"Time!" The local undertaker, Tails, made a time-out signal with his hands and rushed over to Manic. "Hold this, will ya?" he asked, handing Manic a tape measurer and having him hold it at his head while Tails ran it down to his foot. Tails nodded, took some measurements, and tipped his undertaker hat to Manic.
"Be seeing you soon, pal," Tails said, disappearing back into his office.
"I don't get why Sleet and Dingo refused this cameo," Manic moaned.
Elsewhere…
"Sleet, why didn't we take that other cameo?" asked Dingo, as he and Sleet awaited their own cameo appearance.
"Because, the cameo we got not only doesn't get us squirted, it'll help boost our fame level 150 percent!" Sleet said.
Suddenly, a costume designer peeped his head in the room and said, "Hey, sorry to tell you this, but your cameo was cut."
"WHAT?"
"Those are the breaks, pal."
Back to the story…
Manic gulped and his hands hovered over his water pistol. "You won't get me, sheriff," he said. "I'm the fastest gun hereabouts."
"Is that so?" Mephiles seemed to smirk without a mouth and nodded. "Draw."
Manic's hand fell like lightning to his gun and it came up, the green hedgehog starting to pull the trigger at the exact time a stream of pitch black water shot out of Mephiles' gun, hitting him in the chest. The force of the water knocked the hedgehog to the ground.
Mephiles calmly opened the water chamber of his gun and poured in another packet of black dye as Manic looked up at him, heaving loudly.
"How…that's not fair!" Manic yelled. "That gun of yours obviously weighs fifty plus pounds, and you lifted it effortlessly with one hand! That's impossible! And now I'll never get this black dye out of my fur!"
Mephiles quietly refilled his water tank and walked over to Manic, still holding the fifty-plus pound water gun with one hand. "No matter what role StarVix chooses to place me in," he drawled, breaking the fourth wall as he raised the gun and took aim again, "I'm still a bad guy. I cheat." And he pulled the trigger and drenched Manic.
When the water tank was empty, Mephiles blew on his barrel and walked back to his office, leaving Manic on the ground. "Show's over," he told the press. "Get out."
Eyeing his gun worriedly, the press quickly obeyed his orders. Mephiles nodded to himself for a job well done and headed over to the saloon.
It was at this time that the Hedgehog gang rode into town and moseyed on up to the saloon in order to get some root beer. the saloonkeeper hurriedly brought them their drinks, and the three sipped them while scoping out the town.
"What do you think?" Silver asked Shadow in a hushed tone, so that no one could hear them.
"Bank's virtually unguarded. Easy target," Shadow whispered back.
The saloonkeeper tapped Sonic on the shoulder, getting the hedgehog's attention. "That'll be fifty cents," he said, holding his hand out for the money.
Sonic blinked. "I don't have any money," he said, draining his root beer.
"You can't drink my root beer without paying for it," the saloonkeeper protested.
Sonic smirked at him. "I just did," he said. "What're you gonna do about it?"
"I'm gonna call the sheriff," the saloonkeeper said defiantly.
"Ooh, I'm scared," Sonic snickered. "What, he's gonna slap my wrist?"
"Sheriff! This guy won't pay!" The saloonkeeper told the Mephiles, who was sitting next to Sonic.
"I heard him," Mephiles said, turning his gaze on Sonic. Sonic's grin faltered as he realized that Mephiles looked creepy and had a really big gun.
"I don't take kindly to freeloaders," Mephiles said in an eerily quiet voice. "So I'm going to take you outside, and I'm going to shoot you."
Sonic laughed with relief, thinking that this was some sort of joke. His laugh was cut short as Mephiles punched him in the jaw, grabbed him by his Technicolor vest, and threw him out the door and into the street, walking out behind him.
Shadow and Silver were up and out the door in an instant. Outside, Sonic had stumbled to his feet as Mephiles stepped out, calmly pushing his trench coat back to get a better handle on his really big gun.
"Draw," he ordered Sonic.
Sonic looked at the gun and gulped nervously. "What would you like?" he asked. "I can make a little bunny rabbit, or…"
"I said, draw!" Mephiles snapped, and, in a lightning fast moment, he yanked his big, fifty-plus pound gun out of his holster with one hand and pulled the trigger.
Sonic gasped and closed his eyes, only to feel himself being pushed out of the way. Sonic let out a muffled, "Whoa!" as he lost his balance and fell flat on his face. Behind him, he distinctly heard Silver cry out in shock and Mephiles starting to draw in breath to speak. Then the Dark remembered my threat about what would happen if I had to raise the rating, and he merely said, "Missed."
Sonic, feeling woozy, turned and looked to see what had happened. He gasped yet again as he saw Silver laying to the side, his left arm clutched in his hand. His arm was completely died black.
"Silver!" Sonic cried.
Silver blinked, stared at his arm, and then gave Sonic a reassuring smile. "Nothing a little soap can't handle," he assured the worried blue hedgehog.
Mephiles reloaded his water gun and poured in another dye packet. "This time," he vowed, "I won't miss you, hedgehog."
"What's your problem?" Sonic asked, taking a gunfighter's pose and placing his hands just above his own water gun. "You're so totally cheating! There's no possible way you can hold that heavy water gun of yours with ONE hand!"
"As I said before," Mephiles said slyly, taking aim. "I'm a bad guy. I know how to cheat."
"Chaos Spear!"
A bright white beam of energy hit Mephiles' arm, knocking his water gun away from him. The sheriff twirled around to see Shadow, who was unholstering his own weapon and pointing it at Mephiles.
"Hey! StarVix clearly said no powers!" Mephiles yelled.
"I know," Shadow said calmly. "But you're not the only one who knows how to cheat."
Mephiles gave him a mean look and then turned and scrambled for his gun, but a stream of water caused him to pull up short. He looked up at Sonic, who had his water gun drawn. "I wouldn't, if I were you," he said simply.
Mephiles slowly backed away from his water gun, arms raised in the air. "Looks like I've been outmanned," he said calmly. "But you do realize I have a reputation to maintain. And that I'm gonna hunt you all down and shoot you right between the eyes."
Sonic smirked at him. "Yeah? You and what army?" he reached down to Mephiles' gun and grabbed it. "We'll be taking…uh…this…" he said, trying to pick up the gun. He couldn't, even when he used both hands and pulled with all his might. Finally he let go of the gun and shrugged. "We'll let you keep this as a show of good faith," he said simply, trying to maintain an air of dignity.
Shadow watched Mephiles as Sonic helped Silver get onto Checkers and then got up on Zombie. Once he was sure his gang was ready to go, Shadow took a running leap onto Maria and the three were gone before Mephiles could make it to his gun.
The sheriff muttered, "Mitsubishi Cadillac," which I had told him was OK for him to say, even though it was weird, and whistled for Grimshaw, who answered his master's call.
Mounting his Chao, Mephiles holstered his weapon and said, "Hiya!" kicking the Chao's sides with his heels, and the two started out on the Hedgehog Gang's trail.
There you go, Mephiles the Sheriff. Hope I got him the way you thought of him, TheV3ng3ance. Everyone, RR, please.
