Yes, I DO have a plot and everything will tie together in the end. In the meantime, enjoy the seemingly endless and random chaos that I have put up for your enjoyment. Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic characters, or Grimshaw. Claimer: I own Zombie, Maria, and Checkers.


It was a hot, hot day. But then, most days in the desert are pretty hot. That's sort of why it's a desert, as opposed to a beach, although I suppose most people in the desert wouldn't mind being at the beach.

However, this particular desert was miles from the beach. It's in Texas, remember. A well known Texas-prayer is, "God, let it rain, not for me, cuz I've seen it, but for my six-year-old."

It was in this hot desert that the Hedgehog Gang rode, wondering where they were, because they had no map. What about the paper airplane proof map, you say? Well, there's no trees in the desert, which means no wood. And Sonic really, really, really didn't want to use Chao droppings, and the maps were nearby, and he said he was sorry.

So, once again they are lost in the middle of a desert, and Shadow and Silver were imagining new and creative ways to injure Sonic. These ideas increased as the heat increased and their root beer got warm. (Who wants to drink warm root beer? Yuck.)

Sonic, for his own part, was covering himself with some sort of concoction in a small plastic bottle. "You want some suntan lotion, Silver? What with your albinoism, you really shouldn't be out in the sun like this."

Silver glared at him. "In the first place, I'm not albino. In the second place, albinoism isn't a word. And in the third place, that's not suntan lotion, it's that pink stuff you put on poison ivy rashes."

Sonic's eyes widened and he looked at the bottle closely. Then he looked down at his body, which was now a freaky pinkish color. "Oh," he said. "Want some generic itching cream, then?"

Silver looked at Sonic for a long time, then he shook his head. "You are such an idiot," he muttered.

For his own part, Shadow was showing an amazing amount of restraint, as well as an uncanny ability to ignore others. Instead, he looked off into the distance, now doubt imagining himself on a beach in Hawaii with a gorgeous supermodel who thinks he's the neatest thing since sliced bread. Or eating alone in a cheap diner that has flush toilets. Either one would pretty much be a paradise at this point.

It was this musing off into the distance that led Shadow to see the great big cloud in the distance. He pulled up and Maria stopped. Shadow peered into the cloud and his eyes widened. "Sandstorm!" he called, as the wind started to pick up.

"Sandstorm? Do they have sandstorms in Texas?" Sonic asked.

"Does it matter?" Silver yelled, as the massive sand cloud engulfed them.


Farther back along the trail, Mephiles the Sheriff had just entered the canyon territory of the SatAM tribe. He paused and inspected the trail of the Hedgehog Gang, which he noted had spent some time in an area that was perfect for ambushes, when the SatAM tribe ambushed him.

"Halt! I am Chief Sally Girl…"

That was as far as Chief Sally Girl got before Mephiles' really big gun was shooting her. She gave out a started cry and fell, as the rest of the SatAM tribe started panicking.

"Chief Sally Girl!" Rotor Ooter cried, running in a little circle.

"What'll we do?" Bunnie Rabbot cried, also running in a circle.

"Does anyone have a spare set of pants?" asked Cowardly Antoine, as he ran in his own little circle.

Only Sugar Hog held his ground. He shook his fist at Mephiles and yelled, "Curse you, SEGA Sonic!"

Mephiles shot him.

As the remaining members of the SatAM tribe ran off, Mephiles calmly ordered Grimshaw to giddy up and the two rode out of the canyon. A loud flash of lightning sounded and all of a sudden the Dark found himself sopping wet and trapped in a torrential downpour of rain.

Thinking many thoughts, first and foremost being the words, 'Mitsubishi Cadillac' Mephiles resigned himself to his fate and rode through the storm.


Farther back along the trail, the Chaotix Posse was just entering Nowheresville, which had been burned to the ground as all the criminals had heard Mephiles was gone and decided to get stuff while the getting was good. Amazingly, however, the saloon was still standing, and had even gotten a fresh coat of paint. Even if it was the same color as that generic pink itching cream that everyone hates.

The Chaotix Posse dismounted and walked into the saloon to get information and a round of root beers. Except for Charmy, who ordered Juicy Juice.

After the drinks arrived, Vector loudly proclaimed, "We're looking for some crooks who broke into our vault and stole our Twinkie stash!"

"And rubbed coyote droppings on my pet rock!" Charmy added.

"Charmy, I told you we don't care about your stupid rock," Vector reminded him.

Charmy's lower lip trembled and he looked over to Espio sadly. Espio shrugged and drank some root beer.

The bartender hmmed and thought for a second. "Well, there was a trio of hoodlums that had a bunch of Twinkies that came in here the other day. One of them drank root beer without paying for it. Then they beat the sheriff and rode out."

"You got a picture of these guys?" Espio asked.

The bartender nodded. "Yeah. The blue one left his wallet. Got a group photo inside."

He handed the photo to the Chaotix. It showed a group photo of Shadow, Sonic, and Silver, in that order. Silver was striking a dramatic pose, Shadow had his arms crossed and was standing slightly to the side, and Sonic had a big cheesy grin and was giving his two partners bunny ears.

"They called themselves the Hedgehog Gang," the bartender said, walking off.

Vector dropped the picture of the Hedgehog Gang on the counter, and Espio ran his katana through it. Then the Chaotix Posse walked out of the bar and into…

"A snowstorm?" Vector asked wonderingly.

"Yea!" Charmy cheered, making a snow angel.

A toothless termite walked into the bar and yelled, "I want the bar tender!" Which is a pun that you'll have to think about a little while in order to get, but even then it'd be only slightly amusing.


Even further back on the trail, Punching Knuckles had finally found the stage coach with Swindlin' Sam and the Nuns.

"Ain't we been robbed enough?" asked the driver. "What could you possibly want?"

"I want Chief Falling Rocks' squaw's ragged old Indian blanket back!" Punching Knuckles ordered, grabbing Swindlin' Sam and threatening him with his famous knuckles. "Give it here!"

"I can't!" Swindlin' Sam squeaked. "Three guys named Sonic, Shadow, and Silver robbed me blind and stole it!"

"Which way did they go?" Punching Knuckles demanded.

Pointing in the way the Hedgehog gang had gone, Swindlin' Sam whimpered, "They went that way! Just don't hit me!"

Punching Knuckles hit him anyway, just because he didn't like Injun swindlers. Then he turned and started off on the trail looking for the Hedgehog gang. Something heavy hit his head and knocked him off his Chao. He jumped up, ready to fight, and saw that it was…

"A dog?"

Another dog fell from the sky, then another, then a cat landed on Punching Knuckles' head and started to claw him. The Indian yelped and yanked the cat off. More cats and dogs rained down from the heavens.

"Raining cats and dogs," Punching Knuckles muttered, looking up at the shy. "Now the authoress is just being silly."


This chapter is dedicated to Flightgirl, who asked for a sandstorm then wondered if sandstorms even happened in Texas. RR, please.