Chapter Seventeen
Spock paced anxiously in his quarters. His attempts at meditation had only been marginally acceptable. He had spent the night composing formal paperwork to rescind his request for sole custody, instead seeking shared. Selek had been correct in that aspect but he hadn't changed the request, not because of his desires but because he had been occupied with other tasks. It had seemed pointless to change it considering Jamie had eloped with their child.
Spock stopped his walking, his eyes fixing on the image of his daughter with Jamie that he had placed on his desk. He should have been there.
His door chimed signaling Selek's arrival and Spock forced himself to calm. "Enter."
Selek walked in, looking better rested and calmer since their conversation the previous evening. His eyes settled on him and Spock straightened his back, attempting to project calm despite his inner turmoil at the upcoming meld. Melds were extremely personal and, despite his hunger for seeing Jamie and the birth of their daughter, he was uneasy.
Selek moved around his quarters, seemingly at ease with the unfamiliar surroundings as he lit incense, unrolled Spock's meditation mats and lowered the ambient lighting.
"Come and sit." Selek ordered, lowering himself slowly.
Spock listened, structuring his mind in anticipation.
Selek steepled his fingers and closed his eyes, clearly doing the same to ensure that his thoughts were ordered.
"Are you in control, young one?" Selek opened his eyes.
"Yes."
"Then we may begin." Selek reached out an aged hand, his fingers carefully positioning on his psi points. "My mind to you mind. My thoughts to your thoughts."
Spock was suddenly no longer in his quarters, his vision struggling to accommodate the sudden change in atmosphere. Bright snow surrounded them. He was seeing things from his father's point of view. Selek and he were crouched behind an old vehicle.
He watched as Jamie defended herself from the possibility of her child being taken. His heart ached at the fear he felt from her in his father's memory.
He saw her struggle through the birth, with only Sarek there as her protector. He saw as she cried, screamed and pushed their child into the world and, in that moment, she was magnificent. She held their tiny child, carefully unfurling the tiny delicately pointed ear and holding the child close, tears of joy on her face, the pain of childbirth forgotten in the moment.
Time fast forwarded to when she was in bed resting, the little girl, their daughter, latched on and feeding and Jamie telling Sarek that she wanted these memories for Spock. Spock, who had rejected her. Spock, who had forced her to go into hiding.
The meld broke and Spock could feel his face was wet. Putting a hand up to his cheek he felt tears. When had he started crying? Selek turned to allow him a moment of privacy to compose himself.
"Jim has asked multiple times for my assistance in breaking the bond between you two."
Spock felt as if his chest was being squeezed, the air torn from his lungs. He couldn't lose the bond, too. He needed a chance to win her back. She was his bondmate, the mother of their child, his t'hy'la.
Selek nodded, correctly interpreting Spock's reaction and thoughts about the breaking. "I have advised her that in her weakened state and, with the infant being so young and vulnerable, that it would be best to wait."
"I thank you for your assistance."
Selek tilts his head in acknowledgement. "I daresay you have a lot of work ahead of you. After all, we both know that Captain Kirk's place is on the Enterprise. I believe it is her destiny and I fear for a universe that is without her in it manning her ship. Her body may be different but her spirit remains much the same as my James T. Kirk."
Spock considered the options. There was a lot of work and ideas filtered through to incorporate families in active duty personnel on ships but the Enterprise was constitution class, hardly a vessel for families. Adjustments would need to be made, retrofitting the ship with new designs and getting approval for the change.
He knew it was going to be a diffuse assignment. Starfleet just didn't have the staff to devote to re-designing a ship. The numbers of enlisted and officers was still far below what was needed and their position weakened from Nero and Khan. They needed more people. Many left the organization due to the difficulties and rarities of finding postings that could incorporate them having their children with them but, he surmised, that many would return if they could have this option.
Spock knew what to do to bring his t'hy'la and child back. It would just take time and work. After all, Vulcans were notoriously talented at detailed work. He could do this.
Spock looked up at his counterpart, determination etched onto his face. "I can do this."
Selek's lips quirked in a small smile. "Then do it, young one."
*****Six Months Later****
Rubbing her eyes and pushing her glasses to rest on the top of her head, Jamie stood, stretching her back and smiled at her hard work. She had finally moved to the practical applications of her quadrotriticale wheat. Touching the small seedling, she was hopeful that within a few years that this could become the new standard grain used in frontier planets and colonies similar to hers. It was especially useful in harsher climates because of it's hardy nature.
Thomas Leighton had been so excited at the discovery. He had recently gotten a promotion to captain and was now in charge of his station. He was testing the grain against diseases and different fungus types while she was testing it's growth and durability.
Babbling caused her attention to shift and Jamie turned to the source of the noise. Elizabeth smiled a gummy smile and reached out hands to her from her playpen. Jamie could help but feel warmth and happiness every time she saw her daughter.
In the past six months, Elizabeth had filled out to a chubby, blond haired, brown eyed beautiful girl. There was still only a tiny amount of the blond but it curled slightly leaving Elizabeth to constantly look wind blown.
"Are you hungry, Liz?" She asked and the little girl bounced on her butt, excited at the attention.
Jamie collected her and headed up the stairs from her lab in the basement. It had been a peaceful six months. Christine had started dating Josiah, making Delilah extremely excited and planning the wedding despite it not being a definite thing, yet. Jamie could see why she liked the handyman/farmer. The rugged look was pretty hot.
Jamie quickly deposited her charge in her highchair and pulled out some mashed peas and baby cereal and tossed a bottle in the warmer. Thankfully, Liz had accepted regular bottles for some feeds but there were days when she would only breastfeed directly from the source.
Jamie looked at her daughter and it hurt so much to see how alike she looked like Spock but at the same time it made her proud of just how amazing and beautiful her little girl was. Like Jamie, the both of them had taken after their fathers. She couldn't help but miss Spock, despite the problems they had. His intelligence had been a thing of beauty and she had seen tenderness and kindness from him. Granted, it had only been while she had been recovering from the warp core injury and after, he had turned fully emotionless and vigilant, but it had been there. He had the capacity and ability but he had closed off after her "death".
She started feeding Elizabeth, carefully spooning the food in despite her attempts to blow raspberries to push it out again. Jamie giggled even when Liz started grabbing at the bowl, trying to feed herself and getting green mush everywhere.
One bath later and Liz was asleepin her crib, snuggling with her stuffed sehlat that Sarek had brought her. Apparently, Spock's mother had stored a lot of Spock's childhood things on Earth and the stuffed sehlat used to be his. Liz had clamped onto it like a limpet and couldn't sleep unless it was there in her arms. It was almost as big as her so it was funny watching her drag it around as she scooted/crawled.
Jamie kissed the top of her head and inhaled the scent of baby powder and soap. She loved this. Flicking on the monitor, she left the room and descended the stairs and was deep in thought when she heard voices in the living room. Familiar voices.
She walked through and had to catch herself from squealing in delight.
"Hey, kid!"
She ran and jumped into her best friend's arms and he spun, sweeping her off her feet and setting her down.
"Hey, Kirk."
Jamie's smile grew bigger as she spotted Uhura behind the doctor. She seemed...lighter now.
"Uhura."
The woman gave a mock-glare and smiled, flipping her long hair off her shoulder. "Nyota." She corrected.
Jamie huffed a laugh and looked over the pair. Nyota was wearing an off the shoulder dark emerald sweater, skinny jeans and small flats, somehow looking in place despite the lack of uniform. McCoy looked relaxed, laugh lines more prominent than his usual worry lines, in dark jeans with a plaid farmer's shirt and old boots.
"What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming for another month."
"Can't we visit our goddaughter? After all, this is the first time we get to see her in person." He looked around. "Speaking of, where is the mini-Kirk?"
"She's upstairs taking a nap and she'll be up soon but you haven't answered why you're here early; not that I'm not happy to see you." She led them into the kitchen, turning on the coffee-maker and pulling out Mrs. Bartlett's latest treat, coffee cake. That was one thing about living here that Jamie loved. Real food and real coffee.
McCoy and Uhura sat down, gratefully accepting the coffee and cake. McCoy let the warmth from his mug seep into his hands. "The Enterprise was damaged from an encounter with the Romulans so it's getting retro-fitted a bit sooner than expected."
Uhura jumped in seeing her worry. "No-one was seriously hurt."
Jamie frowned, concern coming to the forefront. "Does Spock have any idea-"
"No, Jim. And even if he did we don't even know where we are. Selek is keeping your location hidden and we didn't see the control panels plus he made sure that we weren't followed."
Jamie sighed a relieved breath, the air rushing out of her along with a few of her worries. "So, where is Selek?"
Uhura spoke up. "He said he had some work to do that he'd gotten behind in on New Vulcan and that he'd try to spend some time with you and Elizabeth when he could."
That stung a bit. "So, how's Fitzpatrick treating you guys?"
McCoy and Uhura exchanged looked, both of their lips thinned. "He's good. He's a good captain but it's different. He takes things slow which-" McCoy paused, thoughtful. "-is good."
"But...?" Kirk asked.
"It's not the same Enterprise. He's-"
"-not you." Uhura finished for Bones. McCoy shot her a dirty look which Uhura just shrugged off.
"We miss you. The Enterprise needs you."
Jamie shook her head, her glasses falling off and she felt the familiar fear creeping in. The loss of her child, of Spock hurting her again, the loss of control. "No. I can't."
"Jim-"
"No, Bones. I resigned. Remember? This discussion is over." Jamie's voice rose and she could feel that she was being backed into a corner.
"I have responsibilities. I can't just abandon them. I can't abandon or risk her."
"Things have changed, Jamie. Spock has changed. The Enterprise is being revamped to accommodate families now."
Jamie put her head in her hands, her brown hair falling forward in a curtain to hide herself, giving her a moment to reign in her emotions. "Let's just-" Sighing, Jamie looked up to her friends. "-let's just try and have a nice visit."
Uhura gave a weak smile and patted Jamie's hand. "Sure."
She could see that the discussion was far from over, especially where Bones was concerned. His eyes felt like two laser beams in the back of her head as she went upstairs to bring down Elizabeth. Her trust in Spock had all but been eradicated the moment he used her private past against her. To reveal her history as a survivor of Tarsus, her abuse at the hands of Frank, to make everything bad about her public had been terrifying. He had taken away her choice, her chances, her life. She wouldn't let him take away what she had rebuilt.
She came back down the stairs with a very happy baby. Elizabeth pulled on Jamie's ears and squealed in excitement at the two new people, their bond positively thrumming in happiness. She seemed especially excited about Uhura, reaching out both arms for her to be taken.
"Well, I'll be damned. They do smile." McCoy laughed and tickled under Elizabeth's chin and she proceeded to charm the pair.
"Oh, she's beautiful." Uhura cooed and bounced the baby on her hip.
"So what else have you been up to out here in the middle of nowhere besides taking care of this little one?"
McCoy's question brought a small surge of pride forward and Jamie told them about her quadrotriticale success. She could see Uhura losing interest but McCoy seemed very fascinated.
"So, that's what I've been up to. How about you two? Don't think I didn't see that rock on your finger, Nyota." She wagged a finger and the woman smiled brighter.
"Leonard proposed a month ago. We're holding off until the re-fit of the Enterprise before we get married." She held McCoy's hand and gave him a squeeze.
"Congratulations!" And she meant it. She had known about the proposal for a while. Bones had agonized about it, unsure about getting married a second time since he had been burned so bad the first time by Jocelyn.
McCoy gave Uhura a look and stood, straightening his shirt. "Why don't you show me around, kid. It's been a while since I've been dirt side."
Jamie looked towards Uhura who wouldn't meet her eyes, instead focusing on the wiggling baby in her lap.
"Sure."
Jamie shrugged on her light jacket, noticing that the sun was starting to lower in the late afternoon sky.
McCoy followed, easily matching her pace as they walked around the house towards the stables and fields.
"I know what you're going to say, Bones, and I already told you that the discussion is over."
"So, you're going to be a farmer? After everything, that's what you're going to do for the rest of your life?" He kicked at a pebble, frowning at the distance. It was a more familiar expression.
"No, Bones. I'm working on-"
"Don't give me that, Jim. You could do this stuff in your sleep. I know it. There's no need for you to be doing it out here in the middle of BFE! You're needed back on the Enterprise, Jim. You're wasted here. It's who you are!"
"No, Bones. It's not who I am, it's what I do! It's not who I am anymore. Right now, I am a mother first. Would you have Joanna on the Enterprise if it meant that Jocelyn would be working with you?" Jamie's face flushed as she shouted in the wind back at Bones. He wasn't pulling his punches and neither would she.
McCoy paled. "It's not the same and you know it."
"It's a woman who is trying to keep you away from your daughter for no damn reason and used your past against you to achieve it so I think it is very much the same thing."
McCoy shook his head. "Jocelyn is getting better. Now that the Enterprise is accepting families, JoJo is going to be spending summer breaks with me and any leaves I can get on Earth." He carefully put a hand on her shoulder and only then did Jamie realize she was shaking.
"Spock rescinded his request. He knows he screwed up."
"I'm sorry, Bones. I can't. I just can't take that risk."
McCoy sighed and pulled her close and Jamie reveled in the contact, clutching her Bones' shirt. "It's ok. Give it time."
