Yeah, you guys'll probably need to know that when I talk in my stories, it's bold letters, just like it is when I do my disclaimer stuff.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic, Mario, or Wizard of Oz. Claimer: I own Zombie, Maria, Checkers, Swindlin' Sam, and all other original characters.

Project Starvix Disclaimer: The Silver bashing begins! You have been warned!


Sonic had found some shelter under a large rock that happened to be sitting out in the middle of the desert for no reason. He couldn't see two inches in front of his face, and didn't dare open his mouth for fear that sand would come rushing in. His silence was starting to worry Zombie; the Chao was beginning to wonder if he had the right rider or not.

Finally, however, the storm died down, much to both of their relief. Sonic, naturally, was relieved that it was over and he was still alive, and Zombie was relieved to find that he was carrying Sonic after all.

"Looks like we made it, huh, guys?" Sonic said, brushing sand out of his quills. There was no answer. Sonic swirled, thinking that maybe the wind had busted his eardrums, or something, and his eyes widened as he realized that Shadow and Silver weren't anywhere nearby!

"Oh no!" Sonic gasped, as he realized what this meant. "My partners are lost!"

Zombie gasped as well. Then he collapsed. Sonic blushed. "Oops, sorry about that buddy," he said, climbing off. Zombie took a deep breath and stood up, giving Sonic a goofy grin.

Looking directly to the reader, Sonic explained, "You gotta give them rest periods, or they just shut down."

Zombie looked at the reader, and, despite the fact that he wasn't supposed to be talking, added, "I TOLD him not to eat that last chili dog!"


Shadow had been picked up by the winds and thrown willy nilly, with absolutely no control over where he landed. It was all he could do to keep a grip on Maria as the sandstorm carted him off.

All of the sudden, the wind left as quickly as it came, and Shadow and his Chao suddenly realized that they were forty feet in the air with nothing holding them up.

The two looked at each other worriedly, then they screamed and started falling. Shadow landed with an oomph on some sort of soft thing, and Maria landed with an oomph on Shadow.

Shadow moaned and sat up, his eyes widening as he saw a pair of red and white stocking start curling up under him.

One of the Toads from the Mario series jumped up and yelled, "You killed the wicked Koopa of the West!"

Tons of other Toads jumped up and started singing, "Ding Dong, the Koopa's dead…"

Shadow stood up, brushed himself off, and said, "If you know what's good for you, you'll drop this line of thought this instant and get me back to Texas, StarVix."

"You want to go to Texas? Then you just gotta follow the Orange Stick Road," a Toad said.

"I mean it, StarVix," Shadow warned. "This is stupid and you know it."

Well, maybe, but you gotta admit that it's funny.

"I won't tell you again," Shadow crossed his arms. "Don't forget, I know where you live."

But Shadow…

"Do you want that rumor about you and your fuzzy bunny pajamas to show up on the internet?"

Ob, fine! Party pooper.

Two Paratroopas with monkey masks on swooped down and grabbed Shadow by the arms, carting him back to Texas.

"What the—hey, who are you?" Shadow demanded to know.

"We're the flying monkeys," admitted on Paratroopa.

"No you're not! You're flying Koopas with monkey masks on! Let go of me!" Shadow snapped, struggling to get away.

"OK," said the other Paratroopa agreeably, as they both let go. As Shadow was fifty thousand feet straight up, he started to fall again. Down, down, down he fell. Just when he thought he would be falling forever, he hit the ground.

Actually, he fell face first on a rock, but who's complaining?

Shadow woozily stood up and blinked as an air conditioned luxury cruise liner cut through the desert sand and stopped right in front of him. The plank thingy people walk to and from the boat extended and Maria stepped down, looking happy and well-fed. She waved as the boat moved off.

Shadow growled. "StarVix…"

Hey, that's what you get for threatening the authoress, dude.


Of the three hedgehogs, Silver was no doubt faring the worst. He had practically been buried alive in the sand, and if Checkers hadn't taken that correspondence course in paper mache shovel making, he'd still be buried alive in the sand.

Now Silver was stumbling throughout the desert, holding his poor, exhausted Chao, feeling the sun burn down on his clear, albino skin…

"I'm not albino."

Whatever.

Anyway, his canteen of root beer had been lost during the storm, and he was painfully aware of his burning, unquenchable thirst as the hot desert air seemed to suck the moisture right out of his body…

"What've you got against me, anyway?"

What the…OK, would you guys stop it! I'm trying to write a bestselling dramatical scene here! You're ruining everything!

"Yeah, like they're really going to give you a bestseller for fan fiction."

I can dream, can't I?

"Look, I've noticed a disturbing trend in your stories. In Babysitting Blues you freaking got me arrested for something Sonic did. In Metal Nanny you made me lactose intolerant, and then you made me inhale a gallon of ice cream. And in Mephiles' Babysitting Nightmare you not only arrested me again, you made me subject to police brutality!"

What's your point?

"Aren't you the least bit ASHAMED of yourself!"

No. But thanks for the free publicity.

"You're welcome."

Now that we had that taken care of, the white hedgehog stumbled forward through the wilderness, his colored arm starting to throb painfully as a reminder of the hit he'd taken earlier…

"Oh, you had to bring that up again."

Oh, good grief.

"Why'd you get me shot to save Sonic, anyway? I don't even like Sonic!"

Well, I do!

"Is that why you never throw HIM in jail?"

As a matter of fact, it is.

"What is your problem with me?"

You tried to kill Sonic.

"It was a case of mistaken identity!"

So? You still tried.

"Why don't you pick on Mephiles? He tried to kill Sonic, too."

Mephiles is cool. Besides, I gave him that fear of banjo music.

"Yeah, your really punishing him with that."

I sense sarcasm.

Getting tired of the whole conversation, I determined that Silver was no longer able to keep going under the extremely harsh conditions he'd been placed in, and he collapsed unconscious on the ground.

"I hate you."


Meanwhile, Cream was riding her Chao, Cheese (The bad puns abound) around the Sonikk U Ranch, her heart increasingly saddened by the prospect that the ranch would be taken by the evil Eggman and his gang.

She sniffled quietly, rubbing her eyes to stop unshed tears, and turned to go. As she did, something off in the distance caught her eye.

Curious, she had Cheese walk over to the object, and her eyes widened as she saw an unconscious hedgehog lying on the ground, his exhausted Chao lying with him.

"Oh no! That poor person…" Cream gasped. "I'd better go get Miss Amy to help him."


There, you see, Silver? Sonic and Shadow are still lost in the desert and you're safe and sound in a nice, cool ranch. Happy now?

"No."

Picky little…RR, please, everybody, while I go kill Silver.