And now it is time for the main evil villain scheme to come to light! Huzzah, that means I'm almost sorta maybe done soon! Disclaimer: If I own it, I own it. If I don't, I don't. And yes, I will not be done speaking in the story anytime soon. I'm really quite the little chatterbox.


In a hideout much like other hideouts villains use, complete with a big neon sign above it reading, 'Bad Guy's Hideout,' Eggman was eagerly awaiting the arrival of his loyal minions, Metal Sonic, Metal Knuckles, and Shadow Android. They were long overdue, for some reason.

But finally, Metal Sonic stumbled in on his Chao, looking like he'd lost World War III. He was dragging Metal Knuckles and Shadow Android, who were arguing about something inconsequential, like do eggs prefer being eaten with bacon or ham.

"Well?" Eggman said, rubbing his hands together with anticipation. "Is she gone yet?"

"No," Metal Sonic said. "And it seems she has found help."

"What?" Eggman asked. "That's impossible! Who on earth would want to help a lost cause like that?"

"Here," Metal Sonic handed Eggman a digital camera, which rightfully shouldn't be invented yet but we'll use it anyway as it simplifies the plot.

Or it would have, if Eggman had any idea of how to use a digital camera.

After twenty minutes of watching Eggman trying to get the camera to work, Metal Sonic sighed, took it from him, pushed two buttons, and handed it back. The picture thingy now showed Silver the Hedgehog, who was brushing Checkers at the ranch house.

"He doesn't look so tough," Eggman mused.

"There's another black one, but he's unconscious and won't give us much trouble," Metal Sonic said.

"There's a blue one, too, but he won't show up until the climatic showdown," Metal Knuckles piped up. Shadow Android hit him across the back of his head.

"What did I tell you about revealing plot spoilers?" Shadow Android yelled.

"Well, sorry! I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret!" Metal Knuckles said defensively.

Ignoring them both, Metal Sonic said, "We will need to work fast and take the white hedgehog by surprise. Then we will have the ranch with little trouble."

Eggman nodded thoughtfully. "Let's go see just what this hedgehog is made of," he ordered, turning to a terrified Omochao, ready to ride to victory.

Omochao's eyes widened, and he whimpered, "If there is any good within you, StarVix, please let me be crushed instantly when he sits on me and so end my suffering! Have mercy, I beg you!"

However, I have no mercy in me for Omochao; for his hints in the game were pointless, frustrating, and his voice is annoying. So he was not destroyed when Eggman sat down. Which meant he once again had to carry the big tub o' lard across the desert and to the Ranch.

"Hey! That's not very nice!" Eggman pouted.

I tell it like it is.

"And I suppose you're proud about your weight?" Eggman asked peevishly. "That you're happy that the last time you stood on a scale you weighed in at—"

IF YOU TELL MY WEIGHT OVER THE INTERNET, YOU SHALL BURN!

Thoroughly cowed, Eggman muttered a hasty apology and went back to the plot. And though some of the male readers of this story shall not understand what transpired, I will give you all a hint for your future: NEVER try to tell a woman's weight to others, ESPECIALLY not over the internet.

Now that we have that all sorted out, Eggman and his gang rode out to the Sonikk U ranch to have a chat with Silver the Hedgehog…


Silver was chopping wood, which as we all know is the proper thing for a cowboy to do if he is injured and rescued and allowed to stay at a run down ranch when there is no ranch guys around to help out. He lifted the ax in his hand again, then noticed that a gang was riding up.

Silver grabbed a towel and wiped his face. Then he grabbed his water gun and stood there, waiting for Eggman to come to him.

Eggman finally made it to him (It was slow going for Omochao, holding up all that extra weight) and looked him over, sizing him up.

"Boy," Eggman chuckled. "You've walked into a hornet's nest. I suggest you ride on out of here."

Silver cocked an eyebrow at the evil dude. "And if I don't?"

"Me an' the boy's 'll have to teach you some manners," Eggman replied, as the Metals and Shadow Android unholstered their weapons and aimed it at him. "Now, we don't want that, do we?"

"No," Silver admitted, using his psychokinetic abilities to rip the guns out of the bad guy's hands and turn them on their owners, like Magneto did in that scene on that X-Men movie, remember?

If you didn't watch that X-Men movie, I guess you'll just have to spend the rest of your life lying awake in bed at night wondering what it was exactly that Silver did, but oh, well. You'll get over it. It wasn't like you actually intended to sleep for the rest of your life, right?

"I suggest you ride back the way you came from, and leave these poor girls here alone," Silver said, as if he were talking to them over coffee at a diner somewhere.

Eggman's eyes glittered evilly. "You have no idea what you've just got yourself into, boy," he warned. "But you will. Come on boys, let's get out of here."

Silver watched them go warily. Then he sighed with relief and went back to doing his work.


Meanwhile, Punching Knuckles had left Sonic lost in the middle of nowhere, since he'd found his blanket and decided he didn't need the hedgehog anymore. So now, Sonic was lost again, and didn't even have his loyal steed, Zombie, who was…

…Who was standing right next to him! What the daisy?

"Zombie!" Sonic cried, hugging the happy Chao eagerly. "How'd you get here?"

Zombie held up his hand, then drew an intricate art piece in the sand, detailing his adventures to Sonic. Sonic looked at it and his eyes widened, "Ohhh, so that's how you did it huh?"

Zombie nodded an affirmative, as a rare wind came and blew his sand art away, so that none of us will ever know exactly how he did it. But I'm pretty sure it had something to do with a jump rope, a sea turtle, and a leprechaun with a bad haircut and a pair of tweezers.

Mounting his Chao once more, Sonic eagerly turned westward, looking for his friends. Too bad that his friends were all southeast of his location.


Eggman was at his secret, neon covered base again, sulking because Silver was cool and he was not.

"I thought you didn't like Silver!"

I like him better than you. You're a weirdo.

"Humph!" Eggman retorted, musing again as he bit his lip, wondering what he could do now to beat Silver and take Amy's ranch.

Still brooding, Eggman yelled, "He MUST have a weakness!"

Metal Sonic cleared his throat and handed Eggman a video camera. (Again: I had the dilemma of using something that does not exist yet, or of making a big long complicated plot device to make up for it…and I'm lazy, so I went with the first one.)

Eggman stared at the video camera for a long time, thinking that if he stared at it long enough, everyone would think that he knew what he was doing. It didn't fool anybody except Charmy Bee, and as he's miles from here and isn't supposed to have any idea any of this is even happening, he doesn't count.

Metal Sonic sighed, took the camera, pushed the play button, and showed Silver the Hedgehog talking and laughing with Cream the Rabbit. Apparently, Silver had a soft spot for the little girl. She reminded him of his own daughter, who doesn't exist yet but whom he loves dearly. (Don't ask me who she is, because since she hasn't been born yet, I have no idea. As to how Silver knows that he'll have a daughter like Cream…yeah, he's a time traveler. Figure it out, Einstein.)

Eggman's evil eyes narrowed…well, evilly, as he saw this new development. Silver had a weak spot after all. Now all Eggman had to do was stab him in it.

But, since this was a K rated fiction and I had warned Eggman that the fate that awaited Mephiles should he raise the rating also applied to Eggman, he couldn't actually stab anything. So he decided to kidnap Cream instead.

It wasn't the same as stabbing, but it would do. Especially if it meant avoiding the terrible vengeance I would wreck on whomever forced me to raise the rating.


RR, please, so I will be inspired and get the Cream kidnapping underway! BWAHAHAHAHA!